A/N Just thought I should mention: there will be no yaoi/shonen-ai/etc. I have nothing against it, I just don't really want to write it. It doesn't fit in this story anyways, they're relationship is just very deep friendship. I also don't think I'd have any idea how xD
Also, I almost cried when I was writing this chapter xD but yeah…here goes…
2 Weeks Later…
L was playing with his toes. First he'd rub the toes on his left foot with the ones on his right foot, then he'd rub the toes on his right foot with the ones on his left. All this was done with a narrow finger carefully balanced on the edge of his lower lip. To an outsider, he would have seemed a bit out of his mind, but the few who knew him could tell he concentrating very hard on something.
It all adds up. Raye Penbar, the access to police records, the assumed age and personality…all signs point to Light-kun. All I need is solid proof. The ideal situation would be if he confessed to being Kira and demonstrated how he can kill. How on earth are we supposed to get him to do that? In the back of his mind, L knew he had to prove that Light was Kira. But in the depths of his heart, he also knew there was a part of him that wanted to find someone else, or find proof that his only friend was innocent. He had been painfully suppressing that part of him for quite a while now.
"Light-kun." The quiet voice barely reached Light's conflicted consciousness, especially with the whirring of the multiple computers, the rustling of paper, and the sounds of the task force.
"What is it, Ryuzaki?" The calm note in his voice surprised him. These days he never knew if the animalistic scream building up inside him would break free the next time he opened his mouth.
"Could I have a word with you in private please?" L was avoiding eye contact.
"Sure, what's wrong?" asked Light, standing. L beckoned him to a bedroom, a finger to his lips.
"Yagami-san. Light-kun and I will be back in about 15 minutes. I just want to talk to him in private." L closed the door firmly on Matsuda and Mogi's questioning stares. He turned the lock.
"What are you doing, Ryuzaki?" asked Light.
"I don't want to be disturbed," he responded simply. "What I am about to speak to you about is completely confidential." He removed a number of strips of black cloth from his pocket and began covering the cameras in the corners. Back in the other room, Soichiro was taken aback.
"What in the world are they doing in there?" he wondered.
"Don't worry, chief," Matsuda reassured, "there are still the micro-"
"I apologize," interrupted L's voice as he deactivated the microphones, "but what we are about to discuss must be just between the two of us." Once L was sure that they were entirely alone, he faced Light.
What's going on? thought Light. He's never questioned me like this before…Something inside Light was stirring, something that wanted to seize the person in front of him by the throat, throw him on the bed, crawl on top of him, watch him sputter and die…helplessly…at Light's mercy…Light's heart was pounding furiously as he suppressed this horrifying urge. The sadistic thoughts inside him terrified him, he didn't want to confront them.
"Light-kun." L gestured to the bed. "Please sit."
Light obliged, never letting his eyes leave L's.
"What's going on, Ryuzaki?" Light inquired.
"There is no longer any doubt remaining in my mind that you are Kira," stated L blatantly.
"Wha-!" Light made to rise from the bed, but L held up a hand.
Oh no. I don't want to kill you, L…That's why I haven't asked Misa to make the trade again, I've been postponing your death…Please don't make me kill you…Don't leave me with no choice…
Even as Light thought this frantically, he felt a part of him, the part he had come to despise, cruelly cheer inwardly at the thought that Light now had to destroy L.
"I cannot ignore the facts anymore. You have the proper personality, and therefore a motive. You had opportunity. You have enough intelligence. All evidence points to you, Light-kun." L's soft voice faltered with his next words. "I…do not want you to be Kira."
Inside his mind, Light was screaming Neither do I!
"Kira, a mass murderer, will most certainly receive the death penalty. Light-kun is my one true friend. But Kira is a criminal. I wish they were not the same…"
Please…no…we aren't the same! Light thought frantically, his fists clenching and unclenching. Kira isn't a part of me, it's – it's like a parasite! This isn't me, Ryuzaki! I'm Light Yagami, straight-A student, devoted son and brother, your tennis partner, your best friend! Kira is a demon, not the God that I foolishly wanted to be...
"I just want to tell you, Light-kun, that Kira will be caught. We are nearing the end of our investigation." L kept talking relentlessly, apparently oblivious that every word was a poison-tipped arrow, hitting Light directly in the heart. "Though I believe I care about you more than I have care about anyone in a very long time, I must not stand in the way of justice and – Light-kun?"
Light couldn't take it anymore. Tears were staining his handsome face, though he felt the monster inside him snarl at such an open display of weakness.
"I-I can't TAKE it anymore!" he exploded. "I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted to help the world!" L looked taken aback. "But this notebook--" he ripped it out of his pocket and flung into onto the bed-- "made something…something SPAWN inside of me, some sort of killing creature! I can feel it now!" And so he could. An enormous wave of hatred, completely detached from his present upset state at being caught, was building up inside him, threatening to erupt and kill both him and L. "I can't take it, Ryuzaki, I can't live like this anymore! I want KIRA –" he spat the word "—OUT of me! Please, Ryuzaki," Light walked over to L and grabbed him desperately by the shoulders, "get this out of me."
They were standing very close now, their noses almost touching. Light's tear-filled eyes looked into L's fathomless ones, begging. He leaned over L's shoulder.
"Ryuzaki…L…" He was barely whispering now, "save me."
The room fell completely silent, save for Light's harsh sobs. His entire body was shuddering as he fought against wringing the neck he could almost taste.
What have I done?! He'll kill me! I've just confessed! He'll—
"Shh." L's voice soothed, breaking the silence. "You're shaking."
And then he did the opposite of what Light expected. HE wrapped his thin arms around Light's trembling waist and drew him close in an embrace. "We'll figure out what to do in a moment. For now, please just relax." He began to stroke Light's hair. "I can tell this was very difficult for you. Just breathe." Still slightly in shock, Light did as he was told. He breathed deep, quivering breaths and buried his moist face in L's slender shoulder. He returned the embrace in relief.
Light knew that one of them would have to die soon, and it would most likely be him. But for now, he didn't think of that. He just concentrated on the wonderful fact that Kira seemed to have gone to sleep for a moment, letting him enjoy the feeling of L's body against his, and the gentle caressing of his hair. L kept shushing quietly, as if lulling a baby to sleep. They both knew it would soon all be over forever, but for those few enchanted moments, neither one of them cared.