They crested the ridge of a mountain and Sango let out an exultant yelp of glee. "Fighting! Yes!" She pumped her fist in the air joyously. Huojin raised a brow at her from his perch atop Changchang.
"Murderous woman," he said, and she punched his leg lightly, laughing.
"Shut up, pony boy. Let's go." She took off down the sloped trail at an easy jog, ponytail swaying, and he nudged Changchang into a trot to keep up. Behind them, Kagome and Inuyasha followed, though at a walk.
The hanyou glanced at her briefly. "Want a ride?"
"No thanks. May as well give Sango some alone time with Miroku." She waggled her brows at him, and he gave a weak chuckle.
"Eh. Yeah, I guess."
"You can go ahead if you're in a hurry," she said softly, giving her pearly bow a pat. "I'll be fine."
"You keep sayin' stupid things like that lately, what the hell?"
"Why is that stupid?" she snapped back, brows coming together. He fisted his hands in his long hair.
"You just got fuckin' kidnapped from the middle of a battlefield and I had to go chasin' after you! I'm not leaving you again!"
"I would have been fine," she grunted dismissively, walking a little faster. "I know you're used to rescuing me all the time but I'm getting pretty damn good at taking care of myself, if you hadn't noticed."
He stared in utter frustration, one fang showing. "Oh no, I've noticed, you like shootin' that bow so much that you dragged us into the middle of a war that doesn't even involve us to make Huojin a hero!"
She sighed tiredly, and that simple lack of emotion scared him more than her usual temper. "Inuyasha, you all know you're free to leave anytime you want, I didn't tie you up and drag you here. I'm really tired of all this complaining. I've been over and over my reasons. Are you jealous of Huojin or something, because you could have done Xia's whole 'hero' thing too, you just didn't want-"
In an instant he was in front of her with his hands gripping her biceps almost too tightly, frowning down at her with something close to despair on his face. "I don't wanna leave you, Kagome! It seems like that's what you want lately!" She squinted up at him before pulling away roughly, feeling for her bow again like a security blanket.
"I don't want you to be stuck somewhere you don't want to be."
"I wanna be with you," he said roughly. "I was scared. I missed you. I'm scared every time we go into battle." His face showed what a struggle it was for him to say that, and she turned back to him with a helpless groan.
"Inuyasha, I don't- I know, I'm scared for you too, but I can't stop this. This is something so big, and I'm the one Xia picked, she spoke to me about it. I can't just turn my back on something like this, all those people, gods, it's not- this is bigger than two people! It's a whole giant- continent, practically!" Her eyes were liquid and large and pleaded for him to understand.
He put his arms around her, ignoring her initial tensing, and held her. "Yeah." He breathed out harshly when she finally put her arms around him too. "I know we used to make you feel kinda... uh, useless or whatever. We shouldn't have. Even before all this you could fight, and now I'm even scared of ya." She pulled back enough to shoot him a skeptical look and he grinned a little, absently stroking a piece of hair out of her face. "Truth. I just don't want you doin' this because you want to show us up or somethin'." He bent to kiss her but she shoved him off suddenly and viciously.
"You bastard," she snarled, eyes snapping. "Show you up? Seriously? I don't need to prove myself to anyone. Sorry I want to help people!" He blinked at her as his jaw dropped, totally wrongfooted.
"What? What the- what the fuck! I didn't mean it like that!"
It did no good. She had already turned on her heel and stalked off quickly down towards the camp. As she went, trying to ignore the tears stinging her eyes and the painful pounding of her heart, her priestess senses picked him up, a hard little knot of bad feelings growing quickly distant, taking off back into the mountains, needing alone time as he always did when they fought. She gritted her teeth and took a deep breath. I'm right for doing this. I'm right. I'm saving China. She ignored the other little voice in her head, asking meanly if she wasn't sure the was just enjoying the adulation and reputation as a proper warrior, of finally being the important one. She wiped away a final tear as she reached the muddy valley floor, wishing for nothing more than to be home at last and curled up in her warm, snug bed with Buyo as her mother sang downstairs in the kitchen.
When she walked into the tent of the Chinese general, she showed no trace of her roiling emotions. She bowed her head respectfully, glad to see Huojin, Sango and Miroku already there. "Yue Fei," she said, and he nodded back at her with an open smile.
"Kagome! Glad you are safe. We worried at your capture." She smiled back at him and his broken usage of her language; it was understandable, though by no means fluent. It did make things easier, though. The dark-eyed general had a narrow, fox-like face and a shaven head. It was clear under his elaborate armor that he was a powerful man, and he moved with the smooth grace and wariness of a wild animal. When he stood up, he was not much taller than Kagome, but despite his barely average stature he carried an easy air of confidence with him.
"Thank you. What have we missed?"
"Nothing. No battles. We," he gestured to his officers and her three friends, "Were planning to attack at sun light tomorrow."
"We will be beside you," she smiled. He was one of her favorite people in the camp. Once she had proven that she could more than handle herself on the battlefield, he had welcomed her into his councils, not minding her gender at all, despite the protests of many others. She truly felt respected around him. He had taken their story of a dragon with a grain of salt, it seemed, but he had never spoken out against Huojin or Inuyasha's demon heritage either, though most of his troops avoided them like the plague. Yue Fei was an astonishingly wise and merciful man, and a canny warrior as well. It bothered her a little that he obviously didn't entirely accept their story about Xia, but he had grasped her idea of turning a formerly reviled half-demon into a warrior the whole nation could respect very well. He understood and even added in a mention of Huojin's exploits in his reports back to Beijing. In his eyes, this dragon nonsense was certainly not going to save his country from the mysterious drought that had overtaken it, but if he could help in ending the shameful prejudice against those with demon blood, he was happy to. He was known as a caring man, and his reputation had held in his thankfully problem-free dealings with the group.
He nodded and they all left, trudging through the sloppy, cold mud towards the little corner of the encampment they had claimed as theirs. Kagome smiled as Kirara leapt up happily into her arms, giving a squeaky meow. "Hi, girl," she crooned. Miroku came up beside her.
"I'm glad you're safe," the monk said with his usual toothy grin, his staff jingling melodically.
"Thanks," she smiled, cuddling her face into Kirara's fur and breathing deep of the nekomata's cinnamony smell. For a moment she felt almost like her old self, until she passed a group of soldiers sitting around a rough table, gambling. They looked her and Sango up and down and shouted something that she knew, from Huojin's uncomfortable flush, must be fairly vile. It brought her mood right back down to the level it was usually at nowadays, a mishmash of pissed off, scared shitless, and crushing responsibility. Huojin might be a hero in training, but he's lucky you can't look at him and tell what he is. Even under all these damn clothes they all know I'm a woman. Not for the first time, she considered chopping off all her hair. It was inconvenience enough anyway, and it was never clean anymore.
Miroku watched her mood swings play across her face from the corner of his eye. "You know, I wouldn't say this to her, but in a tiny way I'm almost grateful Sango doesn't have a family to worry about and miss," he mused softly, staring up innocently at the white peaks surrounding them. "You're carrying a heavy burden, Kagome. If you want help, let me know." With that he was gone, ducking into his and Sango's tent, and all she had time to do was let out a startled grunt. Kirara jumped down from her arms and ran off to parts unknown, and Kagome was left standing ankle deep in chilly mud and feeling even more lost than normal.
"Crap," she muttered to no one in particular, hearing her stomach rumble. This is so stupid. He's right, why did I ever take on any of this? Collecting the jewel shards after I broke them was my fault, but Naraku wasn't, and this mess definitely wasn't my problem either! She felt her insides begin to sting and flutter and her breathing speed up harshly; she forced several deep breaths, ignored her stomach ache and entered the ratty little tent she called hers. It didn't keep the cold out, or much of the snow, but it gave her some privacy and broke the whistling wind's chill a little. She dug a pair of gloves out of her worn, ratty backpack and put them on, pulling her hood up, and absently began to munch on a granola bar. The first bite hit her unsettled stomach like a prison shank, and she doubled over with a wince for a moment. I wish I didn't have to do this. Why am I the one who has to help? Why did that stupid dragon ever tell me about this? Why did Huojin have to tell me all the awful things that will happen to the people here if they get conquered? She was bone weary and hurting physically and mentally, and she groaned when she heard Inuyasha's unmistakable voice saying something outside.
Of course he, the master of terrible timing, would show up now. Well, not terrible, he always shows up in time to save my sorry useless self. Kagome took one last deep breath, trying to summon her old sunny smile for him as he came in, though it felt awkward on her face. I was really mean to him... His eyes were hooded as he glanced at her, and she winced ever so slightly. Oh, no.
He didn't say anything, just began absently picking at a bowl of something oatmeal-ish he'd found somewhere, and she was thankful that he didn't invade her space any more than he had to in the tiny tent. She felt her hand gripping the carved wooden flower around her neck and bit her lip. I've been so cold to him, I don't know why he even bothers to hang around anymore, I really don't. He says all the time that this isn't his fight and he's totally right. None of the others really wanted to get involved but I guilted them into it, because they felt they had to come protect me. Her skin felt like glass, freezingly cold under all her layers, and she was irrationally afraid she might shatter if he touched her.
He sent her another swift sideways glance, brows tight together and ears limp. She knew he could smell the agitation rolling off her, but there wasn't anything he could do, they just had to get through this, keep everyone alive, and save China so they could go back home. She felt her stomach give another uncomfortable flip as she thought about it. If one of us dies, it's my fault...
She blew air harshly through her nose and curled up on the rough stack of blankets and hide that served as a bed; to be honest, she was grateful for it. Despite Yue Fei's efforts most of the troops had even less. I solemnly promise to never, ever go camping after this is all over, ever again, she told herself fervently, tucking her freezing hands under her armpits in a bid for warmth of some kind. The thought made her laugh a little.
"Somethin' funny?" came Inuyasha's quiet voice.
"Um. Camping. I'm tired of this."
"Ah. Yeah, I know that feeling." He finished up whatever concotion he'd been eating and moved over next to her, putting his heavenly warm body up against her back, though he didn't put an arm around her. She'd gone off on him too many times for it lately, letting off steam with the person she knew would always give her a good, satisfying row. This time she didn't care, though, the last few frigid nights in the mountains with her captors finally seeping from her bones as his body heat hit her. Thanks to his demon heritage, he ran hot, needing much less clothing than the rest of them, even in these ridiculous conditions.
She turned over and curled up tight to his chest with a quiet groan, body still bruised. He held her silently. Despite the daylight still lighting them up through the numerous holes in their tent, despite the loud tramping feet and hooves all around her and chatter of the encampment, she felt sleep creeping in on her. For once her stupid heart wasn't going into overdrive for no reason, and she was damn glad of it. She just nudged the man who held her once with her forehead, a silent little excuse at an apology, but it was the best she could do at the moment, and fell asleep.
Author says: Hope you like! I am trying to explore Kagome's anxieties about all the trouble they've gotten themselves into. I realize she's much different than she was at the end of 'Infinity' but remember, this is a few months later, and she's been running around killing people and arguing with her friends and herself. She's under a lot of stress! Anyway, please review if you have time- I love getting them. Totally lights up my world. :)