Thank you everyone for the nice reviews :D I appreciate that you took the time for it, whether it was sixty-nine lines long or three words long. Now~

Me: KAMUI!

Random people: BE BOP!

Kamui: What?

Me: Hey I just met you, and this is awesome~, but I'm writing a story with you, so disclaimer maybe?

Kamui: You can't sing. Gintama belongs to Hideaki Sorachi the only thing the author claims is Ming Jiangnu and her lame jokes.

Me: Just for that you get weird names in this chapter.

Once Upon A China Girl

"So Cowmui. What does a punching bag do?" Jiangnu questioned, walked along side Kamui. In the time since she had been allowed to live, the Chinese girl had become glued his side, sleeping in his closet every night as if it was the normal thing to do.

"You help me train. All you need to do is just stand there while I shoot bullets at you and punch and or kick you. It's simple isn't it?" Kamui stated, not looking at the black haired girl. He didn't mind when Jiangnu was next to him, as long as she was being quiet. It was a miracle for him to get sleep at night with her screaming nonstop from his closet, obviously having nightmares. 'Maybe I should stick something over her mouth so she'll shut up.' He thought to himself, 'No she'd probably continue talking and it would eventually fall off.'

"Yes. I could do something like that in my sleep."

"You mean you'll be screaming a lot?" The orange haired Yato smiled."By the way, how are your Japanese lessons? Is Ungyou teaching you properly?"

"Yes. Very...VERY properly"

Later that day

"How do you say 'Happy' in Japanese?" Ungyo asked Jiangnu, testing to see if she could remember some words.

"Ecchi." The Empress quickly responded with a straight face.

"...No."

"Shinu?" She tried once more, this time using the Japanese word for 'die.'

"Not quite." Close enough for the brutal Harusame.

"Oh. I got this. Yaoi."

"It's Shiawasena. Got it?" He answered, finally giving up on that question.

"Yaoi seems like it would mean happiness more. Just saying,"

"Okay. Love?"

"BUT WE JUST MET! MY FEELINGS AREN'T LIKE HIGH SCHOOLERS AND MIDDLE SCHOOLERS! I WON'T SAY I LOVE YOU AFTER A FEW SECONDS!"

"What is the Japanese word for love?" Ungyo sighed at the misunderstanding girl.

"Oh~. Renai, ai, or suki."

"Good job."

"Ungyo-sensei. I have a question." Jiangnu waved her arm back and forth in the arm until her 'teacher' called on her.

"What is it?"

"Does POWmui dye is hair? If so, someone should tell him his roots are starting to show..." It's not like she was staring at his hair all hours of the day, just the roots were so obvious since he had that beautiful orange hair and his roots were just like BAM- Black and shit.

"His hair is naturally black if I remember correctly."

"Do you want his babies?"

"No."

"Does Abuto-nii-sama want his babies?" Why she added 'nii-sama' at the end of Abuto's name shall never be known. She hadn't exactly become close to vice-captain, mainly because he scared her immensely. Maybe it was due to the fact that he saved Jiangnu's life twice...in one chapter.

"Most likely." Ungyo replied, creating an awkward silence between the two.

"You know...I'm on my period." The girl stated, in attempt to dispel the uncomfortable air.

"Today's lesson is done. You may leave now."

"Aye sir!" Jiangnu saluted the Yato male, standing and leaving the room.

"Your classes are done?" Kamui's voice made the Chinese girl quickly turn behind herself to see him smiling at her.

"Ah. Yes. Ungyo-san dismissed me after I told him I was on my period."

"I see." The young captain replied, still smiling.

"Or do you really? Since ,at the moment, your eyes are closed..."

"Just because I said 'I see' doesn't mean I have to see it literally."

"So even blind people can say that?"

"Yes. But I would make fun of them."

"Me too Kam-Kam." Jinagnu patted the taller male's right shoulder slowly, "By the way..."

"What?" Kamui looked down at the black haired girl who looked at him with concern.

"Your roots are showing," She pointed to his black roots, which faded into the bright orange hair color.

"I know." Bitch why are you going to pour salt on that wound?

"...Need me to buy you some more hair dye?" She offered with a smile.

"I'm fine."

"Oh...I just wanted you to know, I'm here for you. Literally since, I sleep in your closet every night."

"That reminds me: We have an empty room across the ship from mine that will be your room."

"But I like being in the closet at night..." Jiangnu pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Too bad. But I made sure the room was right next to Abuto's." Better him have sleepless nights than Kamui.

"If I scream will you come to my rescue?"

"Of course not."

"Okay..."

"NII-SAMA! I'M SCARED! AN ALIEN JUST ASKED ME IF I WAS HBO POSITIVE!" That night, Jiangnu's screams and pounding on Abuto's door woke him up. Slowly, he made his was from his bed to the entrance, which he opened and saw the Chinese Empress, tears brimming in her eyes. "I THOUGHT YOU DIED!" she screamed, clinging to Abuto's waist.

'The Captain thought this would happen. That's why he put her in that closet next to my room.' The vice-captain sighed, removing the younger girl's hands from his waist. "As you can see, I'm alive. Those Amanto were just messing with you. And it's HIV positive."

"Oh~ that makes sense." Jiangnu replied, walking into the Yataro's room and sitting on his bed. "Come on in Abuto-nii-sama." She patted on the side of the bed, keeping intense eye contact with him.

"I'm fine right here." Abuto replied, not moving from infront of his door. "What do you want?"

"Tell me about Gluttonmui." The China girl answered without hesitation.

Once more, Abuto sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his only hand. Where should he begin? (AN: No really. Where should he begin?) "He's the captain of the seventh Space Pirates Harusame squad, which is a very notorious Amanto crime syndicate. Yes Ming?"

"What is an Amanto and what does syndicate mean?" Jiangnu asked, pulling out a random note pad and pen.

"An Amanto is an alien- What I am, along with everyone on the ship-"

"Am I an Amanto, Nii-sama?"

"A syndicate is a group of individuals or organizations combined or making a joint effort to undertake some specific duty or carry out specific transactions or negotiations."

"Oh..." 'Fine then. Ignore me!'

For the next hour or so, the two talked about Amanto and Kamui-related things, Abuto remaining in his spot near the door, Jiangnu getting more and more comfortable on his bed.

"If you fall asleep on my bed, I'll throw out all of the food and blame it on you."

"You conniving bastard..." He heard her softly murmur before falling back, her head meeting one of the three big pillows at the head of his bed.

"Oi! I just said don't fall asleep!"

The next morning, Jiangnu woke with a start, immediately sitting up from the bed, "I'm sorry Abuto-nii-sama! I accidentally fell asleep on your bed after you told me not to! I will take responsibility for any disease I may receive now."

"Hn. It's fine. I've slept on the floor before." Ohonhonhon. How would you like us to take that Abuto?

(AN: What? Did you expect Abuto to get in bed with Jiangnu? He's only a pedophile for Kamui people...Get real.)

"Jiangnu~." The door flew open, hitting Abuto hard on the head. "Abuto. You shouldn't be sleeping on the floor. It's bad for your back.(Which I already messed up enough.)" Kamui smiled, looking down at his Vice-captain.

"How'd you know Ming was in here Captain?"

"I told her you said it was okay to come here every night." He gave a smile, walking towards the bed and roughly grabbing the Chinese girl's thin arms and pulling her back towards the door.

"I'll be back later Nii-sama."

"Don't."

"Um, Communist, where are we going? Are you angry that I was with your bitch last night? I promised I didn't do anything to him. Unless, you want me to warm him up for you." Jiangnu stated as Kamui dragged her down the hallway.

"Don't worry. I just look at him and he's warmed up."

"...Teach me how to do that."

"You have to dye your hair and put it in a braid."

"Share your hair dye."

"Buy your own."

"...Where!" Cue a 'Haha~.' smile from the taller boy.

"Get in and get undressed." Kamui ordered, opening his door and walking in.

"But...you have Abuto. Why would you ruin that trust you two have worked-"

"Get undressed and put this on." He finished, throwing a pair of clothes similar to what he was wearing at the confused girl.

"That I can do." She smiled, taking off her beige pienfu she had worn ever since she came aboard the ship.

After she had finished dressing herself in Kamui's clothes, she looked at him, who had watched her change...the entire time, with a smile plastered on his face. "These clothes are too big on me. Don't you have a smaller size?" She asked, flapping the long sleeves in front of the captain's face.

"You'll grow into it. My size is the closets to your own most likely." It was true. Have you seen any of the other Amanto on the ship? They were giants.

"But can't I cut the sleeves so they aren't so long?"

"Do it and I'll kill you."

"Man..."

"Do you have any experience with weapons?" Kamui decided it would be best to change the subject before he tried to kill her again.

"Mother taught me how to play the castanets."

"Any actual weapons you could kill someone with?"

"Mother taught me how to sing." Jiangnu's mother was a musical genius, unlike her offspring.

'Deafening an enemy could help.' "When I say weapon, I mean sword, gun, something like that." He tried for a third time, still smiling.

"Oh~. Father said the Ming family had famous spear users in our blood, if that counts..." The Chinese girl laughed, easily remembering her family history.

"We may have a spear or two in our weapon room." Kamui thought for a second.

"My family had a weapon room in our old home."

"Is that so?"

"It is so...a lie~ Ohohoho I so funny."

"You are far from funny." Kamui stated with his usual smile.

"Your mom thinks I'm funny!" The girl 'smartly' replied, feeling like a boss.

"I killed my mom." Moment ruined.

"...That smile she had while you were killing her? She remembered a joke I told her."

"I was the one with a smile on my face."

"Damn it..." He had the best comebacks...

"You're basically done with your Japanese lessons right?"

"Hai. I'm done desu desu."

"Good enough. Tomorrow you will start training with a spear so you'll be more useful and you being my punching bag will be more entertaining. Got it?"

"Roger!"

"Of course, Abuto will help you train. He's the best at training." Abuto's misery just keeps on continuing.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should let Abuto-nii-sama decide if he wants to help or not." It was natural Jiangnu noticed she was bothering Abuto.

"What are you talking about Empress? Your Nii-sama was the one who suggested training." Bullshit bullshit bullshit.

"Ah Nii-sama~ I'm no longer scared of you."

Kamui loved how well things went for him.

Meanwhile

"I feel like something bad is coming." Abuto said to himself, glancing around his room, expecting something to jump out and attack him.

Me: Whee~ Kamui! I make you suck in this chapter.

Kamui: On the contrary, Abuto is the one who sucks.

Me: Ohonhonhon. I see what you did there. UKE. DO THE BEGGING.

Abuto: -sigh- Please favorite and review. Even a small review is welcome.

Me: -tear- I love you Uke.

Kamui: I love my uke too. (^o^)