Dinner last night wasn't to bad. The food was amazing, but I was pretty reserved and didn't say much. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and as long as the waiter kept my wine glass full, I wasn't going to complain. And I didn't, until Lauren had me cut off around glass number five. Before I could make an ass of myself, Reagan and Sara drug me out of there, and took me back to the beach house to sleep it off.

The drive back to Austin this morning was complete shit because of my massive headache and uneasy stomach. I was also cramped up in the back seat of Shane's car listening to him and Matthew switch between fighting and bickering to lovey-dovey horse shit the entire way home. When we finally got to the house, everyone seemed to disappear. Shane left with Matthew and Lauren left with Jonathan, leaving Sara and I on grocery duty. We had been gone for a week and there wasn't anything edible in the house. The past few years have been pretty good having these guys as roommates, Shane, Sara, and of course Lauren. I have mentioned to Lauren several times that we should convert the basement into an actual living space, and that we could rent it out to Reagan. As always Lauren disagrees, saying that if we wait long enough that Reagan and Sara will finally hook-up and Reagan will move into her bedroom.

"Hey Amy, you ready to go?" Sara calls from downstairs at the front door.

"Yeah, coming," I replied grabbing my bag and heading downstairs. As I climbed into Sara's Jeep she told me that we would stop by the farmer's market before we went to grocery store. She's a bit of a health nut, and a triathlete, so my eating habits have significantly improved over the years, but I absolutely refuse to give up donuts. She also pulled me into the triathlon world with her, and we try to do at least two races each year, but our work schedules make it difficult to train and race. I think Reagan loves the fact that she is a triathlete because after the first race we finished together during our last semester of medical school she told her that triathlon has definitely done her body good.

We finally arrived at the farmer's market and I noticed that it seemed to be slowing down since it was late in the afternoon. I was thankful for that because I really don't like being here. We made our way through, picked up everything Sara wanted, and we were making our way back to her Jeep when someone bumped into me, dropping a box of goods all over the ground around us. I immediately bent down to help pick up the mess when a voice spoke.

"I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention and - Amy? Oh my goodness, it is you." a woman says as she wraps me up in a tremendous hug making it hard to breathe. The moment I heard my name I looked up and made eye contact with none other than Molly Ashcroft. I was stunned. I haven't seen Molly since right after Christmas.

"Hi Molly," I finally spoke.

"Amy you look so good, how have you been? And who might this be?" she asked excitedly when she saw Sara.

"I've been staying busy at the hospital," I replied. I turned to look at Sara, "Sara this is Molly." Sara extended her hand to Molly, but Molly wrapped her up in a hug too. After the hug Molly looked at both of us and said, "Us Ashcroft's would rather hug than shake hands."

As soon as Molly spoke her last name I turned to Sara and she looked at me with one of the biggest "Oh Shit" looks I have ever seen.

"Molly it was so good to meet you, but if you two would excuse me, I need to return a call to the hospital," Sara said. I knew she was lying because we didn't have any hospital worries until 7am Monday morning, but this was her way of saying I know this is Karma's mom and I'm giving you two a chance to catch up.

"Sara it was nice meeting you," Molly told her as she gave her another hug. After Sara had gotten out of ear-shot of us Molly spoke again.

"Amy, I have missed you so much. I wish you would come visit Lucas and I every once in awhile."

"I've missed you guys too, it's just...it's just...hard," I spoke trying not cry.

"I know sweetie, but please don't ever forget that you are family too, and we would love to be a part of your life. I nodded still holding back tears. It was clear at this point that neither of us really knew what to say. Before I realized it, I had opened my big mouth again.

"How is she? How is Karma doing?" I asked Molly. She looked away briefly before she looked back at me with tears forming in her eyes.

"Amy I don't really know. After she left last June we had pretty regular contact, and around November she started becoming more distant. We didn't talk as often. I thought for sure she would be home for Christmas, but she didn't show. The last time we spoke I could tell that she really wasn't her self, and this was back in April. In the last four months we haven't heard a word from her. I keep track of her touring schedule, and all the small venues she's been in, but she has completely shut us out. I've noticed the past couple of months she is rarely performing, or if she is it's not advertised." At this point tears started falling down both of our cheeks. "She stopped by for a bit as her group passed through town. This was back in November. She was with some guy named Tyler, and I really did not like the aura I felt from him. I don't know if they were dating or not, but he just did not seem like a good person at all. Short-tempered, rude, and at dinner he had a bit to much to drink, and lashed out at all of us. Karma looked like she was a bit scared of him. He just really seemed like bad news, but Karma was his biggest defender." At this point all I could do was put my arms around Molly and we held each other as we both cried.

"Amy, I miss her so much," Molly spoke through sobs.

"I know Molly, I miss her too. Are you going to be okay?" Molly didn't speak, but she nodded. "I need to get going. It was really nice to see you Molly."

"It was so nice to see you too Amy." She gave me another hug, and we both said our goodbyes. I made it to the parking lot and climbed into Sara's jeep.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked as we pulled out of the lot. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. We finished our shopping and were on the way home when I told Sara I needed liquor. She started protesting saying it wasn't a good idea, but I told her she could stop or I would just come back later. She didn't say anything after that, but we did stop at a liquor store. I went in alone, picked up some necessities, and as I was loading several bottles of booze in the Jeep she finally speaks.

"What the fuck Amy? I know what you are thinking and you are out of your damn mind if you think I am going to let you get shit-faced drunk in order to deal with all of this. You went down this road before remember? It can't-"

"It won't happen again," I said, cutting her off. "I just want to get shitty tonight, sleep it off tomorrow, and then bury myself in work on Monday. That's all. Just one night to drink to forget this pain, this emptiness. It's just one night, I promise," I said to a pissed off and concerned Sara. She didn't say anything else. We got to the house, and got all the groceries unpacked and put away. I went to take a quick shower, and when I returned Reagan was there. I went directly to the kitchen for tequila. I grabbed three shot glasses thinking that if I got them drunk they would stay off my ass about all of this. I know that Sara would of told Reagan about seeing Molly. Reagan and Sara both walked into the kitchen, and I expected Reagan to go all gung-ho on my ass, but she just walked up to the counter grabbed a shot, held it up and said,"Here's to a fun night!" We toasted, took the shot, and Reagan called for another. For the rest of the night we kept drinking and laughing, and I was able to forget about her, and how much missing her still kills me.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover from hell. My head was killing me and all I could hear was screaming and arguing downstairs. Lauren was home and she was bitching everyone out. I could hear her voice getting closer so I just buried myself in my pillows and duvet. She flung my bedroom door open and immediately began her verbal barrage.

"Amy what the fuck is wrong with you? You can't do this shit every time something happens that you don't like."

"Go away and leave me alone Lauren. I'm not in the mood for your shit today."

"Look here asshole, you are going to get yourself up and out of bed. You have fifteen minutes to meet me at the front door. We are going to the gym so you can release this pent up anger on someone in the ring or at the very least a bag."

"I'm not going anywhere. Go away."

"If you are not dressed and ready to go in fifteen minutes, I'm going to come back in here, pretend your bedroom is the ring, and I'm going to Beat. Your. Ass!" she commanded as she jerked my duvet from me and the bed. " Fifteen minutes Raudenfeld!" As Lauren stormed away she stopped right outside my door to continue her verbal assault on Reagan and Sara, who both had come upstairs.

"I can't believe that you two idiots not only allowed this shit to happen, but you participated," Lauren barked at Reagan and Sara. Neither of them said anything, and they went down the hall to Sara's room as Lauren made her way back downstairs. I rolled out of bed, threw on some workout gear, and made my way downstairs. On the ride to the gym, neither Lauren or I spoke. I felt like shit, but she was right. I just needed to pull the gloves on and vent my frustrations on the bag. Lauren started dragging me to the gym with her when she started at the district attorney's office. I must admit that it was a lot of fun. We learned all different types of self-defense, and we both became pretty good. It felt good knowing that in a hairy situation, I would have the ability to at least try and protect myself. After a couple of hours at the gym we made our way home. The ride home was just as silent as the ride to the gym. When we pulled into the driveway I finally spoke.

"Lauren I'm sorry. And thank you. Thank you for being you." She didn't say anything, only nodding. I went to get out of the car when she finally spoke up.

"Amy, I don't know what happened that last night that Karma was here, or if anything happened at all, but you can't continue to do this to yourself. Just know that I love you, and I will always be here for you." There was a comfortable silence for a couple of beats, before she spoke again. "C'mon, let's get in there and get dinner started." Dinner was a lot of fun. Shane was back and to see and hear him and Lauren go back and forth with their playful banter made me smile. At times I would look over at Reagan and Sara, and it seemed like they were in their own little bubble. I made a mental note to ask both of them if there was anything going on because the last time it came up a few months ago, they had both said no. I kind of hope they are romantically involved. They would make a good looking couple.

After dinner, I went outside and sat on the porch, finding myself lost in my thoughts and memories of Karma. I don't know how long I had been sitting here when I heard the door shut behind me. As I turn and look up I see Reagan take a seat next me. After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up.

"So."

"Sooo," Reagan replied.

"You and Sara," I smirk at her.

"What about me and Sara? she says with a blank expression on her face.

"Are you two-" and before I could finish she hastily replies.

"Nope! But do you want to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours?" says Reagan. I didn't even acknowledge that she had said anything, and then she spoke again. "Look Amy, I don't know what happened between you two her last night in Austin, or if anything happened at all, but I know that you haven't talked to anyone about it. It might help if you sit down and talk it out with someone. Me, Sara, Lauren. Hell, a counselor or therapist. I just think it would help you more than you realize at this point." We sat there again in silence. I debated on whether or not I should tell Reagan what really happened, but before I could get the courage to speak up she stood up and spoke first. "Well I'm headed home. See you later Amy."

"What, you aren't staying the night?" I asked mischievously.

She spun around and kept walking, backwards to her SUV, as she called out, "Now Amy, why would I do that?" She gave me a wink, hopped in her SUV, and drove away. I so need to talk to Sara about this!