Warnings: The humor is way cruder in this chapter. You probably won't get some of these if you haven't read the manga.

Disclaimer: I don't own Elfen Lied, Lynn Okamato does.

6. Not So Innocent.

Bando could see how frightened Mayu was. She was crouched down in her seat and shaking furiously. She was this scared just being in the same room with her former step father? If he had known this, or what exactly that man had done before hand, he would've made sure the guy had never made it to his trial.

"Listen, don't worry Mayu, I know you're scared, but-"

However, when Mayu turned to face him, Bando noted that she was shaking for an entirely different reason. She was blushing furiously... with a lecherous grin her face... while a trickle of blood was coming out of her nose... and the small leather whip she was holding didn't exactly comfort the former SAT trooper.

'Easy Bando, easy...' Bando repeated in his head, 'Now don't rush to any conclusions just yet.'

He just had to know one thing. "Are you planing on using that on... well... you know?"

"Oh yes, I'm going to use this on that person alllllllll night long." Mayu said dreamily.

Bando unleashed a high pitched scream and ran out of the court room as fast as his artificial legs could carry him. Sure, he'd gone up against mafia bosses, terrorists, murderers, and even homicidal horned girls with telekeneitc arms that could stop bullets and rip you limb from limb.

But dealing with a fourteen year old, dominatrix crazy girl was NOT something he could handle.

Everyone in said courtroom sweet dropped as they saw Bando flee the room while screaming like a little girl. Amongst the throngs of confusing thoughts, Mayu came to the sudden realisation of what she'd just implied.

'Hm. I wonder if it would've calmed Bando-San down or scared him even more if I'd told him I'm actually planning too use this on my mother?'

7. Why Nyu!

Kouta wasn't sure who this EXTREMELY pretty young man with bright-pink hair was or why he looked familiar.

"Uh, do I know you?" Kouta asked.

The man smiled. "It's me Kouta! I'm Nyu! I got a sex change!"

Kouta's entire world went down the drain in an instant.

8. Lucy's New Trick Backfires.

Nana froze in place as she felt the vector enter the back of her head.

"Hello, Nana-Chan." A sickeningly sweet voice said next to her ear.

And with that, Nana knew Lucy was back.

"You know," she whispered, "I could kill you right now if I wanted to."

Nana swallowed hard.

"But I won't, instead, I'm going to test a new trick I came up with the other day."

"What?" Nana questioned, now looking confused.

Lucy's grin just got bigger. "You see Nana-Chan, in theory, we diclonius can use our vectors to read the electric signals sent out by the brain. Think of it as a form of telepathy."

Nana eyes went wide at the implication of it all.

"NOW REVEAL TOO ME ALL YOUR SECRETS! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Lucy cackled insanely as she started the process.

Lucy grinned sadistically for several moments as she went over Nana's thoughts... ... ... right before her face fell. The diclonius queen's eyes went wide with horror as she lost her grin and the color drained from her face.

Lucy started gagging. "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU SICK LITTLE BITCH! GAAAAAHHH! I CANNOT EVER UNSEE THIS!"

Through sheer will-power from the horrors she'd just witnessed, Lucy, and to a lesser extent Kaede, forcibly pushed Nyu to the front and retreated to the back of her mind.

Nyu was left wondering why she was leaning against Nana.

"Umm, Lucy?" Nana questioned.

"No, it's Nyu! Who's Lucy?" Nyu replied.

Nana shook her head. "It's nobody important."

"Good! Now let's go make lunch for the family!" Nyu cried as she skipped to the kitchen.

Nana chuckled and followed the happy girl.

"Nana, who is Kurama and Mariko... and why do I suddenly have the image of you all having a threesome with each other?"

Nana's entire face went crimson as she suddenly found herself wishing for some higher force to strike her down.

It didn't exactly help that Kouta, Yuka, Mayu and Nozomi had all come back from grocery shopping right as Nyu said it.

9. Movie Night.

It was Saturday night at the facility. Both Kurama and Nousou were getting together for their weekly movie night.

"So what are we watching this evening," Kurama asked as he plopped down onto the couch with a bowl of popcorn in hand, "Wait, let me guess, another chick-flick?"

"Not this time," Nousou replied as he walked into the room carrying several tapes, "It appears that Cynthia, Alicia, Barbara and Diana, have all gone through the trouble of making some home videos of themselves for us... how interesting..."

Kurama unleashed a heavy sigh. "Just how skilled can four prepubescent girls be at making A-Plus films anyway?" He muttered, only slightly upset that they wouldn't be watching, "The Princess Diaries."

"Well, let's see, we've got, "XXX Loli Girls," "Lesbian Loli's," "Girls Gone Wild: Loli Edition," and "Loli Diclonius." Which one should we watch first?"

"Loli Diclonius." Kurama replied without a second thought.

Just as Nousou was about to put the movie in, the door suddenly came crashing down and Sunglasses was standing there with his crossbow.

"I WANT THOSE VIDEOS!" He screamed as drool flowed out of his mouth like a waterfall.

10. Big Sister.

"Can I be Nyuu's big sister?" Mayu asked, holding said baby in her arms.

"No." Kouta replied, not even looking up from his book.

"WELL WHY NOT?"

"Because you listen to Katy Perry, run funny, and screw Nana with a strap-on every night."

Mayu gasped. "Not... not all the time, damnit!"

"You're the most useless character in the series, so please shut up."

"At least I didn't impregnate my COUSIN!" Mayu exclaimed loudly. (1)

"HA! THAT JUST GOES TOO SHOW YOU HOW SKILLFUL I AM!" Kouta shouted, giving two thumbs up.

"... ... You're actually disgusted with yourself for having gone to bed with HER of all people, aren't you?"

Kouta broke down into tears while Mayu just shook her head and sighed.

1. I know it's legal in Japan for cousins to get married. This is just for humor purposes.

The second chapter is finally completed. Put a little more thought into this one.

Love it, hate it, just plain don't get it. Please review and tell me what you think!