CHAPTER TWO

"Fin," he said. "It's been a long time…"

Bobby extended his right hand, but the other detective ignored it in favor of giving a startled Bobby a hug.

"No way you get off with just a handshake," Fin said warmly. "Not the guy who saved my butt and a whole lot of others."

"You saved mine enough times," Bobby said. "Fin…This is my partner Alex Eames. Eames, Odafin Tutualo. We worked together in Narcotics."

Fin and Alex quietly inspected each other as they shook hands.

"Bobby says good things about you," Alex said.

"He said good things about you the few times I've seen him over this…What…Eight years? Anyone who can put up with him that long must be good," Fin said.

"They've been good years, right, Bobby?" Alex smiled.

Bobby stared at her for a moment. "Good," he thought. "She thinks they were mostly good. And it's been eight years, two months, two weeks, and three days…"

"Yea," Bobby said. "Good…Really good…And I'm lucky she's stuck with me."

Alex grinned. "I am not buying you another drink, Goren."

"Bobby Goren buying his own drink." Fin laughed. "This I gotta see."

Bobby stared at his shoes.

"When I worked with him, Bobby was always making these bets about all sorts of things. As long as it wasn't sports, he usually won," Fin said.

"I…I did ok with baseball," Bobby said. "Unless I ran into one of those rabid Yankee fans."

"Watch it," Alex warned. "You know I'm a Yankees fan."

"You're more of a Derek Jeter fan," Bobby said. "And you're scarcely rabid."

They smiled at each other, and Bobby felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. "Happy and comfortable," he thought. "I feel happy and comfortable with Alex…"

He was glad that he came, and he became happier as the evening continued. It was good to see and talk with Fin again, and Bobby was disconcerted to realize that he hadn't responded to several invitations from his former partner.

"I'm sorry, Fin," Bobby said. "Things have been…"

"I know, Man…Don't worry about it," Fin said.

"Thanks…For coming to the funeral…" Bobby ran a hand across the back of his neck. "I can't remember if I sent you a card."

"You did…You did…Although the handwriting didn't look like yours. Somebody give you a hand?"

"Uh…Yea…Eames…She…She helped me a lot…I…I was in a kinda bad way…"

"You looked like somebody'd hit you up the side of the head with a two by four at the funeral," Fin said. "I was kinda hoping maybe you'd found somebody. Although it looks like you've got a great partner and friend in Eames."

"Alex! Goren!" Mike Logan appeared from a corner of the back room. "Good to see you!" Alex didn't resist his bear hug. "So, you got the big guy to come finally?"

"Yea," Alex grinned. "But if you hug him like that, he'll probably turn tail and run."

Logan grinned. Bobby thought he might have had one or two drinks, but Logan had always held his liquor well. He also had the reputation of being a cheerful drinker until he reached the point where he morosely stared into his drink. Since his own stages of inebriation roughly followed the same pattern, Bobby felt reasonably comfortable with Logan in this setting.

"Will a handshake scare you off, Goren?" Logan asked genially.

"Nope." Bobby shook his hand. "Nice place…"

"Yea…Although all I really do is pump money into it and hold court," Logan said. "I don't really do any work around here."

"Not that big a change from Major Case, uh?" Alex asked.

Logan grabbed his chest in mock distress. "You trying to stab me in the heart, Eames? Goren…You gotta protect me from your partner…"

Bobby waved his hand. "You're on your own, Logan."

Bobby Goren rarely felt comfortable in any crowd. He usually felt as if he was studying some strange tribe, or, worse, that a strange tribe was studying him. Even after he performed an extensive study of a tribe, he rarely felt part of it. He sensed that all of the tribe's members waited for him to betray himself, for him to demonstrate that he didn't know the right handshake, or costume, or secret word. And Bobby Goren expected that at some point he'd make that mistake. He'd never felt completely part of the NYPD, in spite of graduating in the top twenty of his Academy class (his high grades in the academic work and his observation kills making up for his poor marksmanship and his insubordination); his excellent record in Narcotics; and his Medal of Honor. There was a brief period where he thought he might have become a member of the Blue Tribe when Captain Deakins invited Bobby and Alex to several events where the Brass appeared in full and sparkling regalia, and when Alex dragged him to some other, less formal functions. But that disappeared with his suspension and that dead rat in his desk.

But he felt comfortable in this bar. Fin introduced him to his captain, Don Cragen. "Don't worry," Fin told Bobby. "He's got less use for the Brass than us." Fin also identified a tall, gracefully moving and elegantly dressed black man that Logan warmly greeted. "Ed Greene," Fin said. "Good cop…Just retired."

"Not entirely his idea?" Bobby asked.

"No," Fin said. "Lots of guys like that in here."

Bobby moved farther and farther back as the evening progressed and the crowd grew. One of her brothers appeared to speak with Alex. There was a rustle in the crowd near the entrance, and Bobby saw his former captain appear. As Deakins shook hands, Logan climbed up on one end of the bar. He rang the bell hanging over the bottles there. When the crowd settled to a dull roar, he announced, "Ok…You know my partners have told me I can't give out free drinks…"

Boos and catcalls greeted this statement.

Logan calmed the crowd. "But…But they've agreed to let me give free drinks to one person tonight. And for tonight, that person is Jimmy Deakins."

"That might mean something," Deakins called to Logan. "If you didn't know I'll just be drinking coffee tonight."

These words produced another chorus of catcalls and boos.

"All right…All right…" Logan said. "I bestow upon Jimmy Deakins the right to transfer his free drinks to anyone here."

Deakins laughed and raised his coffee cup to Logan. "Thanks for the pressure, Logan. But…I do have a choice…Although it may wind up costing you a lot. He certainly looks like he could drink a lot…But he's a great cop…Smartest detective I've ever known…And one of the most honest guys on the force…"

Along with most of the crowd, Bobby looked around the bar for this paragon of virtue.

"Now…I seriously considered Alex Eames," Deakins continued.

There were cheers and applause, with Bobby the most enthusiastic in the crowd.

"But," Deakins said. "She's not that big. And I'm not going to let you off that easy, Logan."

Alex stood with her hands on her hips. "I'll have you know that I can out drink most of the guys here."

Deakins retreated. "Well…Maybe I didn't want to bankrupt Logan and his partners."

"C'mon, Jimmy," a voice shouted from the back. "You gotta make up your mind."

Deakins smiled. "All right then." He tipped his mug towards Bobby. "Detective First Grade Robert Goren."

Bobby was certain he'd heard wrong. He stared in shock at his former captain. Thoughts raced through his head. Deakins knew about his suspension—Bobby had taken a couple of jobs during that time for the company where Deakins had landed after his forced retirement. Deakins had even offered Bobby a full time job. Bobby had a good idea that Deakins had something to do with Alex's eventual forgiveness of his undercover work, and he was enormously grateful that Deakins had helped to save his friendship and partnership with Alex. He knew Deakins valued his work; he sensed that Deakins might value him as a man. This open gesture of support in the middle of a crowd of cops, some of whom might agree with whoever left that rat in his desk, stunned Bobby. His eyes caught Deakins', and Bobby fought a lump forming in his throat. He turned his head and saw that Alex seemed to be trying to wipe away something in her eyes.

"All right! 'Bout time somebody recognized the guy who keeps Major Case's solve rate the best in the Department!" Bobby recognized the voice as belonging to a veteran Major Case detective who consistently treated Alex and Bobby very well. He became uncomfortably aware that every eye in the room was on him.

"Eames…Eames has a lot…Much more than I do…To do with that," Bobby stammered.

"Shut up, Goren," Alex laughed. "And start drinking that expensive Scotch you like so much."

John Munch had hovered around the bar's back room like a funeral director at a wake since Bobby and Alex had entered. "Great," he muttered darkly. "This is coming out of your profits, Logan…If we ever have any profits…"

Logan had already pulled out a bottle. "Quiet, Munch. This is good PR." He smiled at Bobby. "This is our best Scotch, Goren. Acceptable?"

Bobby moved up to the bar and reached for the bottle. He carefully examined the bottle and finally nodded in approval. He returned the bottle to Logan. "That is a very good Scotch," Bobby said solemnly. "It's made by this process where…"

"Oh, no!" Alex laughed. "Just drink it, Goren…Don't give us its history."

Bobby joined in the laughter and accepted a shot glass from Logan. It was excellent, creating wonderful sensations on his tongue and warming his body as it flowed down his throat. Bobby held up the glass. "Oh, that's good…That's great, Logan…Great…"

"How's that for an endorsement?" Logan asked the crowd. "Now some of you try this good stuff. And we'll have Goren tell you its history as a bonus…"

"Or you can pay him to shut up," Alex laughed. "Although he's pretty uncorruptible."

There were several approving comments and rounds of applause. "So," Bobby thought. "This is what it feels like to be part of a group…To be one of the guys…"

He sat happily. In spite of the promise of the free and very good liquor, Bobby drank slowly and sparingly. He'd resolved to cut back on his alcohol consumption after he returned from his suspension, but a greater reason for his care was that he wanted to remain sober enough to enjoy this experience of being part of these good cops and former cops. Alex was having a good time, as good as Bobby could remember.

"I'm glad I came," he thought. "I really am…I'm glad I let her talk me into this…Shoulda learned by now that Alex's ideas are the best."

A hand touched his shoulder, and Bobby turned to face Jimmy Deakins. "I hope you're enjoying that Scotch."

"I am. Thank you, Sir. And…And…For the kind words…Especially considering all the trouble I gave you…"

"You and Alex made me look very good…A lot more than any trouble you gave me," Deakins said. "And the trouble you gave me was the good kind. I never had to worry about you getting too rough with a suspect or messing with evidence. You're a good cop, Bobby."

Bobby's head felt fuzzy, and he wasn't sure if it was the result of Deakins' words or the Scotch he'd consumed. "We miss you too, Sir," he said, and felt very self conscious.

"Just give it time," Deakins said. "Remember…It took me a year to figure you out…Or at least figure you out when Alex translated."

Bobby watched as Alex shared a laugh with several detectives. "She's great at that," he said. "But…Ross and I…We seem to be speaking such different languages that even she's having trouble."

"You've rarely said that much about troubles at work," Deakins said.

"I…I…" Bobby's face reddened. "I haven't drunk this much for a while."

"C'mon." Deakins lightly rested his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "Let's sit down…Even former

captains have some privileges. I'll get us some seats."

Bobby found himself sitting in a dark, relatively quiet booth. A glass of iced tea appeared before him, and he took a long drink of it.

"Thank you, Sir," he said. "I think I'll stick with this for the rest of the evening."

Deakins settled across from him. "That might be a very good idea, especially since Alex will need some help getting home."

Bobby turned and saw Alex laughing among a group of cops.

"She hasn't laughed like that for a long time," he said wistfully. "Of course, she hasn't had much to laugh about lately."

"I've heard," Deakins said sympathetically. "And that isn't your fault."

Bobby stared at the table. "That's debatable…"

"Hell, Bobby…I'm responsible for some of it," Deakins said. "I got the two of you on the radar of some of the Brass." He studied Bobby. "I never did really thank you and Alex for what you did…And tried to do…For me…"

"Uh…We…Especially me…Didn't do much…All you had to do for us…Especially me…It…wasn't much…I wonder if it really helped…"

"It helped me,"Deakins said firmly. "I had proof that I was a good cop…From two people who mattered. My wife…My daughters…Know I'm a good man and a good cop…The NYPD…Certainly the people who framed me…Know the truth and have to live with it."

"But…But you still had to leave," Bobby said. "And if you hadn't defended and protected me so often, maybe the Brass would've given you a break…"

"Bobby…It was time…It was just the spark…You know that I told you that you and Alex saved my soul….I'd reached a point where I couldn't keep my soul and play politics. You and Alex made it possible for me to leave with my good name. That means a great deal."

Bobby's head hurt. He couldn't understand his former captain's praise and gratitude.

"I do feel bad about Logan," Deakins continued. "I hoped he might be able to stick it out."

"Eames knows a lot more about that than I do," Bobby said. "It was a nasty case. The ADA who was behind it all finally resigned. Logan was one of the casualties, but I think there were a lot of things leading up to it. The case was the final straw."

"I wonder," Deakins said. "What would be the final straw for you? Alex has so many ties to the Department. But you…"

"I…For all the trouble…It's a great job…."

Deakins studied Bobby carefully, and Bobby remembered that his former captain was once a very good detective.

"You know," Deakins said. "I'm not your superior officer any more. The reason why you stay…It certainly doesn't matter to me now…And it never really did…"

"Oh, no," Bobby thought. "He knows…If he knows, other people must know…"

"Bobby," Deakins said gently. "I can hear you thinking over here. Calm down."

Bobby took a deep breath.

"You used to not care about what anyone…Especially the Brass…Thought," Deakins continued.

"That…That was before…Before it made it hard for me…Hard for Eames…"

"You never held her back," Deakins said forcefully. "Alex never wanted to be part of the Brass…I knew her before you came to Major Case…She could've gone on a route that would've placed her on the fast track to at least a captaincy…She didn't take it." Deakins smiled. "You remember when I offered her that spot on the task force and she didn't take it? Said she didn't take the job to get noticed."

"I wonder if I've gotten her noticed in the wrong way," Bobby muttered.

"Look," Deakins said patiently. "One of the big problems with the NYPD is that if you're good you're going to get noticed…And sometimes by people who don't want anyone to succeed. Alex would've gotten noticed without you. She's too good of a cop and a person…"

"But…I…I haven't helped her…"

"Bobby…If we're spreading guilt around, I'm the one who put targets on your backs," Deakins said.

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. He wished he'd either drunk more or not so much.

"I'm sorry, Bobby," Deakins said. "I didn't mean to give you a headache. But remember what I said to you and Alex when I left. What I needed to know was that I was good with my good detective. If it came down to the Brass' approval or yours, I knew whose I wanted."

There was a commotion near the back room's entry, and Bobby and Deakins looked up to see Danny Ross making his way down the ramp.

"Hold it! Hold it," Logan cried as he scrambled up on the top of the bar. "We've got another first time visitor to this fine establishment."

Bobby smiled slightly as Ross blinked in surprise.

"Now," Logan continued. "I have no problem in allowing Captain Danny Ross in here…Even in this sacred back room…But I think we should have some other opinions. Detective Megan Wheeler…What do you think?"

Wheeler briefly looked like a deer caught in headlights, but recovered. "Oh, I have no problems in letting him in. And I'd like to point out I've known him a lot longer than nearly anyone else here."

"All right," Logan said. "Alex Eames…What do you say?"

"I say let him in," she grinned. "Make him suffer like the rest of us."

Ross was becoming more comfortable, and he smiled at the applause and cheers that followed Alex's comments.

"All right then." Logan looked around the room and saw Bobby huddled in the booth. "Detective First Class Robert Goren…What do you say?"

Silence followed. Bobby and Ross' eyes met. Alex began thinking of ways to slowly disembowel Mike Logan. Deakins wondered why Logan had never learned the art of leaving things well enough alone.

"Hey," Bobby finally said. "I owe the guy enough. And I've learned to agree with my partner. Although after he's been here awhile I'm not sure he'll be happy about it. Let him in…And give him the best of whatever he wants, Logan, and put it on my tab."

"That would be more impressive, Goren," Ross said after a moment. "If I didn't know you're getting free drinks tonight. But thank you."

"Gracefully done," Deakins whispered to Bobby.

Bobby shrugged. "I do owe him…And things are getting better…"

"Well, I'm going to try to rescue him," Deakins said. "Take care, Bobby. Hang in there. You're a good cop."

Bobby watched his former captain disappear into the crowd. He recognized most of the people in the room. Fin was talking with a slender, intense looking man with a burr haircut and sharp features. Alex, a goofy smile on her face spoke with another SVU detective, Olivia Benson. Alex had introduced him to Benson at some police function, and her and Alex's presences had considerably livened the proceedings.

"I…I like these people," Bobby thought. "Maybe Deakins is right…"

He took a deep breath. He felt a desperate need for fresh air to clear his head. He stood slowly and carefully and began to make his way through the crowd. As he moved through the swarm of people, several people slapped his back and said things like "Good luck," and "Good to see you," and "Thanks for the drinks." Bobby, not familiar with such good attention, nodded his head, smiled awkwardly, and mumbled "Thank you," and "You're welcome." He shuffled to the front door and had just reached it when he felt a tug at his sleeve. He looked down at Alex's face.

"Where you going?" she asked, slurring the words slightly.

"Just need some air," he answered. "That's all…Really…I'm having a good time, Eames. Thank you."

She examined him. "You're not trying to sneak away?"

"Nope." He placed his right hand over his heart. "I swear. I'll be right back."

"Ok," Alex conceded. "But remember…I'm a Major Case Detective. And there's a lot of other good detectives in this place. We will find you."

"Understood…"

Alex stepped aside, and Bobby reached for the door handle. "Come back soon," she said. "Remember that you're my ride."

Bobby nodded, and walked out into the cool night air. He walked up the steps and looked up at the sky.

"Maybe," he thought. "Maybe…"

END CHAPTER TWO