Wooo! So I decided to write chapter 2! The uhm, writing is a little different, I changed it to first person in Hikaru's point of view. I re-did the first chapter, nothing changed besides it says "I" a lot now.
SO yeah! I hope you all enjoy the second chapter and I'll be working on a third soon!
Disclaimer: The characters of Ouran High School Host Club do NOT belong to me. Don't sue me.
Another day; another lifeless day because you are not here. Second year just isn't the same, all of my classes seem empty and I can't pay attention. The Host Club was a huge feat to deal with last year when you left, luckily we have Renge. I honestly don't know what the club would do without that otaku; she defiantly knows what the girls want. Everything is the same, but everything is so different. I think I understand how you felt when you saw me getting closer to Haruhi. After all, it had always been us in our own world, then everyone else in another. She broke in though; she made our world unstable and made you upset. I'm so stupid for not noticing it earlier, but of course I can see everything clearly now. When it got hotter out I never questioned why you would always wear long sleeved shirts or wrist bands. Also how I never noticed that little by little you stopped eating. I did notice how you stopped letting me hold you. Hugging would make you visibly tense, and even the small touches when I would try to hold your hand you would flinch and pull away. But that was only on our own time. You managed to put up a front for the club. When we would go into our brotherly love act you would pull it off perfectly as usual for the guests. They aren't as close to you as I am, and I could feel you tense when I would wrap my arm around you. It wasn't visible to anyone else, but I noticed it and I felt it. You always said I was dense, and I understand that now. I was so oblivious to my own feelings so of course I couldn't see yours. Your brother, your twin, your mirror, and still I didn't notice the little bit of pain your amber eyes held. Of course as cruel fate would have it, I notice it now after it's too late. I notice everything now, but back then I noticed nothing. Even when we had the physical exams, and I saw everything, it didn't click in my mind. I guess I was too afraid at the time to really think.
"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin? My name is Ada and I'll be your personal nurse for this afternoon. If you would please go behind this curtain and take your shirts off we can measure your chests."The overly cheery nurse pointed to a curtain to her right.
"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill." I arrogantly stated, "We don't need cur-."Before I could finish I was cut off when I saw my twin brother. Kaoru should have been un-buttoning his shirt right now and he should have been starting the "brotherly love" act for the fan girls. Instead, he stood there staring at the ground, as if uncertain what to do.
"Hikaru… I'm going to get dressed behind the curtain…" Kaoru softly said and quickly moved inside the curtain fortress. The air was tense and all I could do was stare blankly at the curtain my brother was now behind. All of the fan girls were chattering to themselves, wondering what had happened. The twins were always close, and this was the first time it they seemed… like strangers to one another.
Finally I came out of my shocked state and slowly made my way towards the curtain concealing my younger brother. "Kaoru? Kaoru are you-." The sight before my eyes sent chills down my spine and put fear in my heart. There were small cut marks on Kaoru's lower hips and wrists. He used to be a healthy weight, but now his bones jutted out from his body. Every rib was visible to my eyes. "Kaoru!" Kaoru nearly jumped into the air when he heard his name, he hadn't noticed I was there till then. He had been busy trying to figure out how to cover his scars and cuts without the nurses seeing. It was obviously too late now.
"Hi-Hikaru… Why are you in here?" The younger twin questioned as he wrapped his arms protectively around his body and moved back against the wall, trying to distance himself from me. It was obvious he was afraid.
"Kaoru… What happened?" Slowly I approached my brother, noticing he seemed frightened. It was hard to hold myself back from just rushing towards him and comforting him with hugs, Kaoru had been acting weird lately and I didn't want to make him feel more uncomfortable than he was now. I made my way over and stood in front of him; asking questions with my eyes. Why had Kaoru been doing this to himself? Why didn't he tell me?
"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin? Is everything alright?" The nurse asked as she started to pull the curtain open.
Kaoru visibly tensed, if the curtain was opened then all of the girls would see him in his skinny, cut up state. "Stay out!" I barked at the nurse, "Just stay out and call our personal home doctor."
--
Our home doctor's were quick to arrive at the school, and took Kaoru away without anyone seeing him. I practically dashed out of school once it was over and made my way to our limo. The drive to the hospital was quiet and lonely; I had never really been away from my twin for long. Thoughts were whirling in my head and I couldn't figure out why Kaoru would purposefully harm himself, and why he didn't come to me if something was wrong.
After what seemed like decades the limo arrived in front of the hospital and I quickly found Kaoru's room. He was in a small bed and staring blankly at the white wall across from him. "Kaoru?" I asked, it seemed to have startled him and he jumped a little and looked over at me. For once in what seemed like months he smiled at me.
"Hikaru. I'm so glad you're here. I was worried you wouldn't come." He said as he looked down at his folded hands.
"Why wouldn't I come? You're my brother and I love you." Kaoru flinched at the word 'love', but changed the subject before I could question why.
"Mom and Dad are already here. They're talking with the doctor; I'm worried about what might happen." It was almost as if the doctor had heard because just a few seconds later he walked in.
"Kaoru, you're not supposed to be out of bed… Ah, it's Hikaru. I was wondering when you would get here. Well your parents had to leave, something about your mother and a fashion show. Anyway, please take a seat Hikaru." I did as he said and walked over to the other side of Kaoru's bed and took a seat in the empty chair.
"Well I've already told your parents, but you will be put under watch, Kaoru. Your body weight has dropped to an unhealthy weight, so nurse Leya will be going home with you boys today. She will cook Kaoru's meals and watch over him to make sure he eats them. Also, all sharp objects in your house will be taken out." The doctor stated firmly. "The only sharp objects in the house will be kept from you behind locked doors, and if you're wondering about cutting your food nurse Leya will be doing that for you."
--
"Hey Kaoru!" I walked into the hospital room which held my brother, holding a fresh bouquet of roses. "You wouldn't believe it! I found orange roses in a flower shop on my way over here; I know that's your favorite color. It's a really small shop, I never see it when I'm in the limo, but I walked here today. Why? Well something more unbelievable happened. I gave our limo driver two weeks of vacation." Of course I was just talking to myself, but it felt weird just sitting in a chair staring at my silent brother. Maybe he could hear me? I placed the new roses into the vase with the blue ones I had bought yesterday and sat down in the chair next to my brother's bed.
"Those colors are nice together." I said while lazily looking at the roses. It was hard to be in this quiet room, Kaoru was always so talkative and lively, and I felt that I had been lucky in finding those roses and hoped that the doctors would give me good news. Maybe he was improving? He twitched? Anything? It's been about thirty minutes and no doctors or nurses have informed me of anything. I let out a sigh and looked at my brother's calm face; really I would give anything to see his bright amber eyes again. Sure people could tell me to just look into a mirror since we're twins and have the same eyes, but I know Kaoru more than them and he's the better of the two of us. To me he is obviously the better looking one, his eyes are brighter, his cheek bones are higher, and he has the better personality. "Please wake up Kaoru." I stood and took Kaoru's hand in mine, giving it a gentle kiss before leaving the room to go home and study.
--
It was quite a scare what had happened. Kaoru was doing better, he's gained weight and seems to be back to his normal self. Although there was something, it's hard to describe it, but sometimes when he would think no one was watching him there would be a sort of dark glint in his eyes.
One thing was obvious though, he hated being watched over like he was a baby. At home and school sharp objects were kept from him; his private nurse would cut all of his food. Of course he's grateful to her and smiles and thanks her, but I know my brother and I can see that he hates her, but knows he can't blame her for doing her job. At school the lunch staff has been informed that he is not allowed to order anything that needs to be cut, so basically they give him soup or pasta or a combination of both. Thankfully the school has sworn to secrecy not to mention what's going on with Kaoru, we've been telling anyone who asks that he's having stomach issues and has been told to eat softer foods by the doctor. Hell, not even the club knows what happened, although I have a sneaking suspicion that Kyouya does.
We're spending more time in the club with everyone now; mostly Haruhi since she's in our class. Plus Kaoru gets along great with Haruhi, he's always smiling while he's around her, but I try to keep him with people so he's never alone. Today there was nothing different about the club, we were all doing our jobs as hosts and Kaoru and I would occasionally play a trick on Tamaki, but nothing was out of the ordinary.
The girls we were talking to weren't the brightest or prettiest, but we still had to pretend to like them. Kaoru stood and excused himself to the bathroom down the hall; that was the only thing that was strange. Kaoru had been going to the bathroom everyday during club time for the past three weeks. Usually he would go before we got to the club because Tamaki would say it wasn't gentlemen like to leave the women you were hosting. Kaoru would use the lie that we fed the school that it was his stomach and I would just nod in agreement with my brother's lie. The bathroom was the only place that I wouldn't follow Kaoru into. I felt that he needed some privacy, he was watched over at home and I watched over him at school, but in my mind he did need some alone time. It was still lonely when he would leave even if it was only for 5 or so minutes, so I would just talk to Haruhi while he was gone.
--
And that's when it happened… That's when I panicked when Kaoru didn't return, and the club searched the campus. That's when I got that phone call to come home quickly. Everything seemed to be getting better, but in such a short amount of time everything hit rock bottom.
I stayed by my brother's comatose side for five days straight. I didn't sleep once. We had been informed the day after the 'incident' that the glass mirror in the boys bathroom at school had been broken by a chair from the room across from the bathroom. The doctor had informed me and my family that when Kaoru arrived at the hospital a large piece of a mirror was clutched in his hand.
I knew why he had done it because the note he left me was painstakingly obvious that I can't believe I didn't see it before. Kaoru was jealous of the attention I was giving Haruhi. He loved me, and seeing me with her made him stop eating, made him start cutting, and made him eventually attempt suicide. Well I love you too Kaoru. I just didn't know how to say it at the time. I mean what am I supposed to say? 'I love you Kaoru, not just as a friend or part of my family. I truly and honestly love you like couples love each other'? I could never do that. It's too much to risk; if he freaked out then what would I do? I would no longer have him by my side and that would tear me apart… Just like he thought I was no longer by his side.
I miss you Kaoru. Please… Please wake up soon.
Yaaay! Please review and tell me how I did on the second chapter? Love ya!