gatorgirl517 agreed to write the responses of Prussia to Germany's letters, so here is her first response.
West,
I was so awesome today! I successfully had six beers in two minutes; it is a new world record. Aren't you proud of who raised you? Maybe you were lucky enough to inherit some of my awesomeness.
Trust me, I know all about that stupid aristocrat. In case you have not noticed, I hate his guts. Can you have Ita wish for a shooting star to kill him? That would be helpful. It's time for that brat to learn how to make his own damn tea. And I can't stand him and his little piano playing. Is that trash even considered music? There are no words or anything to it! He can't even defend himself; what a loser, so he has to call Hungary, who can't defend himself either. About Hungary, he is really annoying, although I did manage to find his weak spot. Maybe I will tell you later; then you would be able to attack him!
What the hell, West? You know "America's hat" has a name, right? It's Matthew Williams! Why does everyone always get him mixed up with that dumb America? They don't even look alike! Please tell him that I will come over for maple pancakes shortly.
Please don't get mad at Ita. I mean, why are you getting mad at your boyfriend? It's obvious he likes you; he even sleeps with you! And sometimes naked! Maybe I should go buy you a book I saw the other day; it's called "Dating Advice for Germans." For some reason they don't have them for the Italians.
Well I hope Gilbird brings this to you quickly! Let me know if you want me to pick that book up!
I AM AWESOME,
Gilbert