"So yeah, I heard that there was this game coming out where you had to climb some tree and become an angel…..er, 'fairy of light.' Of course, this was happening during the whole 'SAO is killing people oh mah gerd" bullshit. But we all know I'd just shit all over anyone who tried to actually kill me."
"But, we know I'm too fucking baller to play by anyone else's rules, so I took the nervegear and modified it, making my own system. I called it….."
"Do we even want to know?!"
"Shitgear! Optimized for shitting on people and kicking ass."
A collective groan emanates from the room, with a small mention of "We should have known."
"So, I log in, right? And it goes to the character creation screen. And that's when I hear it…"
"Welcome to ALO. Please select a character race."
"That hot chick voice. So, I can't choose the angel race, but I think of an even better plan….."
"Shit on the character creation system?"
"No…..seduce it. So I work my magic, using my awesome words to convince the character creation system to let me be an Alf, whatever the fuck those are."
"…Bullshit."
"The only shit is going to be on you if you quit interrupting! Anyways, I get to be a light fairy, and then I get the character creation voice's phone number. Hell if I'm gonna call her, though. She ain't real."
"So, I spawn, and I'm in the middle of some shitty tree. So I fucking fly away, and that's when I see them…..Some green haired fairy assholes. Way off in the distance. Showtime."