An update, despite lack of response, simply because you can;t keep a good man down.
...Especially the one in this tale!
Playing Doctor.
Kotetsu Isane, 2nd seat and lieutenant of the 4th division sighed as she oversaw the treatment of her fellow lieutenant Abarai Renji, who had recently been tossed on the doorstep of the 4th division by his rather vexed looking captain. She didn't know what had transpired but apparently Kuchiki-Taichou had taken it out of Renji's hide in spades. He'd live, but his tattoos would have to be replaced, it seemed the captain had practically flayed him alive.
And then there's the scars on his backside.' The tall lieutenant noted with a flush. It wasn't that she hadn't seen one before, in her field of work you lost whatever prudish issues you had rather quickly, but she'd always found Renji's cheeks to be his best feature.
Though apparently Kuchiki-Taichou didn't share her opinion, as it appeared he'd used several Kido spells to burn what seemed to be a new tattoo right off his, likely traumatized, lieutenants rear, cutting it a bit close if you followed her drift. Needless to say, Renji was going to have problems sitting down for a long time to come, nevermind using the bathroom.
Sighing as she bandaged the last of his wounds, the elder Kotetsu sibling decided to call it a night, only to blink as something hopped onto her shoulder, chirping gleefully in her ear. "Kumo-chan!" Kusajishi Yachiru chirped, landing on the taller lieutenant's shoulder without any difficulty "I'm bored, wanna play?"
"I'm sorry, Kusajishi-fukutaicho." Isane offered, smiling in relief at the fact the 11th division captain didn't appear to be nearby, as he and his lieutenant usually came as a set "I still have work to do, maybe later."
"Aw!" Yachiru moped, looking depressed as she waved her arms "but Ken-chan and backwards-braid are still playing doctor!"
--
Isane chuckled and patted the girl on the head, wondering how a monster like Zaraki Kenpachi could have such an innocent daughter. The 11th division captain had turned up earlier that day with her, apparently here for a check-up as requested from Unohana-Taichou. Normally this would have drawn attention, as Zaraki was of firm mind that he didn't NEED medical attention; Even if his guts were hanging out in big steaming ropes the monster of a captain had to be bodily restrained by high level bakudo before people could operate, that or Unohana-Taichou would fetch him herself.
In fact, for all anyone knew, Unohana-taicho was the the only member of the fourth division Zaraki tolerated operating on him, though considering how skilled the 4th captain was, that shouldn;t have been a surprise.
What WAS interesting however, was that no matter how badly the 11th division acted around herself and the rest of the 4th division, the second Unohana-Taichou appeared they all started acting like children dragged before their mother. It was a matter of great interest of how she could cow the most infamous fighting unit of the 13-court guard divisions, and many suspected that she had some sort of influence over the monstrous 11th division captain, as not even HE crossed her.
But that wasn't possible right? The only one that had any control over Zaraki was the Sou-Taichou, as he seemed to be the only one the monster of a captain seemed to obey without question…all right, without TOO many questions.
In her personal opinion, the captain of the 11th division was a loose siege weapon, a rabid beast that by all rights should be kept on a leash, preferably a very short one. Oh he was a fine captain, in regards to killing hollows (not to mention bounts, the twelth division barracks/Captain/Both, or anything that moved in general) but the fact he let his men run amuck spoke for itself.
'Still,' Isane allotted, watching Kusajishi-fukutaicho as she started drawing on some paper Isane had provided for her amusement 'he makes a good father at the very least.'
--
"Kumo-chan…" Yachiru called out suddenly, catching the grey haired woman by surprise "What's a mommy?"
Isane blinked, honestly surprised at the question as she looked at her smaller colleague "Well…a mommy is…a mommy." She offered lamely slapping herself the moment she said it "She names you, cleans you, feeds you and gave birth to you." She smiled at the girl "don't you remember your mommy, Kusajishi-fukutaicho?"
"All I remember is Ken-chan cutting down the bad people." She replied with a warm smile, not noticing the look of pity on Isane's face "Ken-chan gave me a name, we took baths together, we ate together…does that make him my mommy?"
Isane actually choked at the mental image of Zaraki Taichou in a mothers apron, face scrunched up as he held a diaper away from him with his sword. "No-no! Kusajishi-fukutaicho!" she choked, trying not to giggle "He's what you'd a call your 'daddy'!" she raised a finger for emphasis "I mean, he didn't give birth to you did he?"
"What's giving birth?" Yachiru asked with a smile, looking up at the horrified woman with that diabolically innocent expression capable only by children "Is that tasty?"
"No!" Isane gasped, waving her hands desperately as she tried to think of something to say that wouldn;t make the situation any worse "It's…what happens when a baby is born!"
"Oh!" Yachiru noted, eyes wide and shining as she looked up at the gasping woman in awe "Have you given birth Kumo-chan?"
"EH?!" Isane gaped, looking like she'd topple over any second as she flushed scarlet "N-No! I haven't, I just know because I'm a medical specialist."
"Oh!" Yachiru noted in awe, nodding up and down in understanding "Then, do you know where baby's come from?" she grinned up at the stuttering woman "I keep asking Ken-chan but he says he doesn't know but if someone says it's a stork I'm to kill 'em, 'cause they're obviously not using their brains for anything.'
'Why am I not surprised?!' Isane glowered, damning the 11th division captain for getting her into this mess, deciding she could sugar coat things as best as possible.
"Well, Kusajishi-fukutaicho," she began "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they give each other a…special hug." She hesitated, flushing at the absurdity of what she was saying. "And if they're lucky, in 9 months a baby is born."
"A special hug?" Yachiru repeated, looking up at the woman in confusion, a finger on her lips "So if I hugged you, would you get a baby?"
"No!" Isane chuckled, patting the adorably naive girl on her head "Girls can't give each other babies, the hug only works with a mommy and daddy."
"Aw…" Yachiru muttered, before smiling cheerfully "Then, if Ken-chan gave Kumo-chan a special hug, would you get a baby?"
--
Isane turned a bizarre combination of scarlet and pale as she tried to comprehend what her diminutive colleague was implying. True there were a number of women wondering if the notorious Zaraki Kenpachi was as mighty downstairs as he was in all things except complicated thinking, but she'd never dared let her mind wander that way. For one, she highly doubted she'd survive long enough to get close, the man's reiatsu was that strong only captains could stand being in his presence for long.
"Possibly…" she stammered at length, waving her hand dismissively at the thought "But I doubt Zaraki-Taichou would be interested in me like that."
'And I doubt I'd survive if he WAS!' she noted with a sense of morbid terror. Zaraki Kenpachi didn't strike her as the type for gentility. If anything she was pretty sure he was as much an animal IN bed as he was outside it.
"How special does the hug have to be?" Yachiru asked innocently, clearly not done tormenting her older colleague just yet "Do you have to be close?"
"VERY close." Isane replied, wishing to get this conversation over and done with as she began filing away the documents, desperate for anything to take her mind off things.
"Do you have to be naked?" Yachiru asked, hopping onto Isane's shoulder with the ease of practice, the tall woman hardly feeling the difference, the girl was as light as air.
"U-usually." The 4th division lieutenant agreed, flushing scarlet at the statement before plowing on, hoping Zaraki Taichou finished soon so Yachiru would stop bothering her.
"Do you need to use whips and chains?" Yachiru asked, blinking as Isane froze, turning to stare at the little girl with wide eyes.
"Wha-what makes you say that?" Isane stammered, looking at Yachiru as she giggled cheerfully, already dreading the answer that was already forming on the girl's lips.
"Ken-chan and Backwards-braid always use those things when he comes to see her!" the little girl chirped "Does that mean they're having a special hug?" she cheered and leapt off the stunned woman's shoulder "Yay! They's making babies!"
--
Isane's eyes widened, staring at the girl as she jumped for joy, before sighing and shaking her head, pushing the ludicrous thought out of her head. 'Relax Isane,' she reassured herself, putting a hand to her heart to still it 'it's probably just the restraints to keep Zaraki-Taichou in place until the examination is over, Unohana-Taichou would NEVER act like that.'
"Kumo-chan!" Yachiru called out excitedly, grabbing the older woman's wrist with her surprising strength "I wanna see the baby! Let's go!"
"K-Kusajishi-fukutaicho!" Isane stammered, holding on for dear life as Yachiru ran down the corridor towards Unohana-Taicho's personal examination room "Taichou said no one was to interrupt them until the examination was over!"
"Ken-chan won't mind!" Yachiru assured the distraught lieutennant, her face a mask of glee as she tugged the door open with her free hand "Ken-chan! Where's the baby?"
"I'm so sorry!" Isane offered, trying to drag Yachiru out of the room whilst bowing simultaneously to the occupants "I didn't mean to let her…in…?"
She trailed off at the sight of Zaraki Kenpachi, arms and legs spread and shackled to a bed in nothing but his birthday suit and his trademark reiatsu devouring eye patch and choker. Standing next to him was Isane's normally reserved captain, decked out in what appeared to be a leather bodysuit that revealed more than it hid, a riding crop held in her hands.
"Isane…" Unohana stated in her usual calm tones, a hint of disapproval in her voice as she eyed her lieutennant "I thought I gave explicit instructions for you to not to let anyone in."
Isane could only stammer at the sight before her, too stunned to say anything or even move. She did however, flinch as her captain reached out and stroked her cheek. "It seems you'll have to be punished too…" Unohana sighed, eyes closed and smiling in that angelic way that Isane and the rest of the 4th had come to love, before seizing her lips in a kiss that made the tall lieutenant's eyes widen.
"Yachiru…" Zaraki called out, looking to the hyperactive pinkette as Isane struggled to break free of Unohana's grip, and failing spectacularly "Go play with Kurotsuchi for a while or something, I'll see you back at the barracks."
"'kay Ken-chan!" Yachiru chirped, giving him a wave before dashing past the struggling Isane "Bye backwards-braid! Give Kumo-chan a special hug too!"
"I will," Unohana assured the girl with a smile, releasing the flushing Isane's lips, the lieutenant panting for breath as her captain undid her sash "A very…special hug."
--
Iemura Yasochika, 3rd seat of the 4th division, looked up in confusion as he sat with the other 4th division members at a bar especially reserved for them. He sat in silence for a while, before shrugging and turning back to his drink. He could have sworn he'd heard someone that sounded suspiciously like Kotetsu-fukutaicho scream a second ago. But that was impossible, she was back at the relief station, and it was at least five blocks away.
'Too bad,' he muttered with a grunt 'from the sounds of things whoever that was must be enjoying themselves immensely. Kotetsu-fukutaicho really needs to get laid.'
"You're thinking dirty thoughts again." 8th seat Harunobu Ogido pointed out, dodging his superior's attempts to smite him with his sword for the provocation.
--
And thus, another romp through the back doors of Soul Society draws to a close.
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