A/N: Once again, please go read Bet On Me by Kissa621 & The Sexual Awakening Of Bella Swan by mzmanda on here. Trust me, if you even have a smidgen of liking for this story, you'll love those; they're so much more worth your time, trust me. ;-)
Will contain graphic sexual content and vulgar language within the story. If this offends you, please do not read. I don't mean to disrespect the site or its moderators but trying to edit out all the lemony parts and revising the writing to make it fit without them was too time-consuming.
Thank you to Heart Beats For None for beta'ing this chapter.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.
I forced myself to take another deep breath as Jess led me into the living room. Around us was complete chaos. The music was blasting and there were people everywhere, filling up every empty space they could. Some were dancing, some were talking and some were doing much more private things out in the open. I was shocked that anyone would do something like that so publicly on the couch and that someone else would film it as others cheered on but then again, who was I to judge anything?
After all, I was here to make sure my own needs were met.
I tore my eyes away from the scene and Jess led me into a connecting room, away from the cries of pleasure and the yells of "Girls gone wild, dude!" Thankfully, this room wasn't as busy. People seemed to be mellow in here, sitting and drinking, the occasional stragglers streaming in and out of the entry way.
And over by the pool table is where I saw him.
The very man I was looking for. As Jess had promised, she had brought me right to him.
Jake Black. Surrounded by his usual group of guys.
Jake Black was a notorious player, a bad boy in every sense of the word. Even though he was from La Push as was most of his buddies, his reputation preceded him even here.
He was a few years older than me, in his early twenties, and he had been out here since high school. He had gone to UW himself but he had never finished. The rumor was that he had gotten kicked out of school for breaking the code of conduct or something like that but the supposed real reason was that he had bedded the dean's daughter and then dumped her. No one really knew the truth, though. The story changed dramatically every day.
Normally, this would not be the type of guy I would seek out to help me with my….problem. But, I had a bit of insider information that made me reconsider him as an option.
The first part was that two of my best friends had slept with him. Girls I had classes with had slept with him. And all of them, including Rose, had sworn that it was the best sex they had ever had.
Rose swore up and down that she had never orgasmed that many times during sex. One night, she had had a bit too much to drink along with Jess and regaled her, myself and Angela with dirty details of her one hookup with Jake. Jess enjoyed that story so much that she instantly hooked up with Jake almost a week later at another party. She then proceeded to, soberly, fill me in on the details of her escapade with him. In any other situation, a normal one, it should bother me that I was about to possibly be the third of our group to sleep with him but, I trusted Rose and Jess completely. What they had told me, I knew to be true and considering my predicament, he was the best guy to go to. I couldn't allow the knowledge of him knowing my two best friends so intimately to affect me. He would never be with any of us romantically and Jess and Rose didn't mind (in fact, they encouraged it). So, I knew intimate details already about the man and his….skills.
Not to mention what I had already heard around campus and back home.
Yes, Jake's reputation was legend back in Forks.
There wasn't a single girl in the vicinity he hadn't hooked up with in his senior year of high school it seemed. Once he got what he wanted, the girls were history. He certainly left a few broken hearts in his wake, Leah Clearwater being the most infamous. Unlike the other girls who had cried, cursed his name or had thrown a drink at him, or anything else within reach, Leah had chosen to act differently.
She had taken a crowbar and beaten in the windows of his car, taken a knife to the upholstery, spray painted a few choice vulgar words on the sides and slashed his tires. When she was done with that, she had started in on his bike. Leah knew where to hit him to hurt him the most. By the time he had seen the damage she had done, his bike was in pieces and she was still looking to do further destruction. She flew at him and got in a few good punches, so the story went, before his friends had to pull her off of him. Since it happened on the reservation, it was handled quickly and quietly between the two families but Jake's reputation didn't escape unscathed. However, women still flocked to him and watching him now, with a leggy blonde in his arms, I could understand the draw to an extent.
Jake was very good looking. He was like sex on legs. Even with myself being a virgin, I could see exactly what all those girls who whispered and giggled about him meant. Like tonight, he had on dark jeans with a red and blue checkered flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up showing his tan muscled forearms off nicely. The guy was built and his black hair was cut short but the ends were spiked up a bit. He was built like he worked out every day and in a way you never saw on any other guy unless he was taking steroids or he was a serious bodybuilder. His body was absolute perfection and made any girl's mouth water just looking at him. I wish I could say I was the exception but there I stood, gaping at him along with the rest of them.
The truth was, I had met Jake Black once, when I was about seven. That was the other part of my insider information. And what a meeting that had been.
He was a few years older than me and at that time, he had no real interest in girls, especially in an annoying little kid like me, or so he had called me when I followed him around when our dads went fishing that afternoon. And yet, here we were, twelve years later and he had been with more girls than the female populations in Forks and Port Angeles together.
…..
His sisters were supposed to be watching me but Rebecca was busy talking on the phone and Rachel didn't like me too much. They were a couple of years older than Jake and they definitely made it clear that they had no time for me once our dads pulled out of the Blacks' driveway.
Jake was playing his video game on the TV so, figuring he was the least likely to take my head off if I sat by him, I made my way over to him and sat down to watch. After a few minutes, I had cocked my head, questioningly.
"Whatcha playing?"
"Goldeneye," he replied, never taking his eyes off of the game.
"Can I play?"
He snorted. "Nope."
I turned to frown at him. "Why not?"
"'Cause."
"'Cause why?"
"'Cause you're a girl and girls can't play. That's why." He then got up and switched the system and TV off.
I also got to my feet. He turned and looked at me, rolling his eyes. I pouted and stomped my foot and insisted I could too play but he just laughed at me. He then left to go down to the beach and I followed him, a few feet behind since he was ignoring me. Why I trailed after him, I had no idea. Even with the jerk he was being, he still seemed a safer bet than his sisters. I guess I could have watched TV but I was bored and I felt slightly uncomfortable being in an unfamiliar house with people who wanted nothing to do with me.
Once we got down to First Beach, he walked over to his friends, a few boys that looked to be around the same age as him. I walked up to Jake and I must have subconsciously taken his hand because I was nervous, I didn't even remember doing it, which turned out to be a big mistake. The boys started laughing at him, teasing him about his girlfriend. He got angry, dropped my hand as if he had been burned, and turned on me. He shoved me back and told me to leave him alone. Being clumsy like I had been since birth practically, I stumbled backwards and fell onto my backside with an 'oomph'. The boys laughed louder and my eyes filled with tears as I glared up at them.
I saw Jake's eyes widen as he realized I had fallen but then his face hardened and he crossed his arms defiantly, returning my glare. The boys jeered at me, telling me to go play with my barbies, but they also continued to make fun of Jake as well, until he walked away, never looking back. The boys soon followed and I got up and headed in the other direction.
I had busied myself with making a sandcastle, talking to myself and playing, pretending the rocks I had found were tiny people coming to live in my kingdom and I had to make them the best castle there was. I was used to being by myself. I was an only child and, well, I didn't always quite fit in with the other kids most times. So, I pretty much stayed to myself and this time was no different.
When I had finished, I beamed at the completed product proudly and began to place the 'people' in their new home.
I never saw it coming.
Within seconds, my sandcastle had been kicked, trampled and destroyed. I looked on in horror as loud laughter filled the air around me. I looked up to the person responsible and saw an older boy towering over me, much bigger than Jake. He smirked devilishly at me and dared me to say a word.
"Why did you do that?" I asked, my eyes filling once again with hot tears.
"Because you're a stupid girl and you don't belong here," he said as he gave me a hard shove to the ground. I fell back and hit my head and that was when I started to cry. The hit wasn't that hard; my feelings were hurt more than anything.
The boy stood triumphantly over me, grinning. "No one wants you here, paleface. Go cry to your mommy and daddy," he demanded.
When I didn't move, instead staying where I was, sobbing, he got angrier. He leaned down, grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I began to cry harder. "Ow, you're hurting me," I sobbed.
He shook me then. "You don't belong here. Get off our land. Now," he said through gritted teeth and shoved me back, making me fall down again.
I didn't see what happened next as I was busy cradling my arm, crying so hard I was having a hard time breathing, but when I heard a scuffle next to me, I looked up to see Jake straddling the older boy, punching him in the mouth. He got in a couple of more blows before the boy knocked him down and started pummeling him. I gasped out in horror and got to my feet, hurrying over to them, not thinking anymore about my pain. "No," I begged. "No, please don't hurt him!" I yelled but to no avail. I pushed against the boy's shoulder, grabbing at his hair to yank, trying to get him off of Jake, when I noticed Jake's nose was bleeding. But, as expected, the boy pushed me back and I fell once more, crying even more. This enabled Jake to take advantage of the boy's distraction and get in a few hits which knocked the older boy off of him. Jake then scrambled over to me and helped me to my feet. He immediately led us away.
"Yeah, that's right, Jake!" The older boy yelled. "You better run! You better hope I don't catch your scrawny little ass! And take your hokwat with you! Don't ever bring her to my beach again!"
Jake muttered something under his breath but kept walking, pulling me by the hand. I kept crying, though only sniffles and hiccups escaped me. When we got to the house, he sat me down on the couch and looked me over.
"Are you okay?" He asked me quietly. I sniffled and nodded, looking at the blood still leaking out of his nose.
"Are you okay?" I asked, brokenly. His eyes lifted up to mine and he touched his nose gingerly.
"Yeah, I'm okay," he sighed and looked sad then. "I'm sorry I pushed you before. And I'm sorry that Paul did that to you. He shouldn't have."
I didn't say anything.
"It's just…..his family….well….it doesn't matter. He's a jerk," he grumbled and sat next to me, lifting the hem of his t-shirt to wipe the blood off of his face. I saw him wince and I laid my head on his shoulder, hugging him gently.
"Thank you," I whispered.
He shrugged, jostling my head with his movements. "S'okay."
A few minutes passed and then he got up. He flipped the TV on and the game system before sitting down next to me again. He smiled and placed a controller in my hands and sat with the other, making me grin at him happily.
"Let's see what you've got, Swan." He winked at me and turned back to the television, hitting some buttons on his controller. We played the rest of the time we were there. He continued to make me laugh whenever my character killed his once he had taught me how to play. Whereas he had no time for me before, he had been incredibly patient with me afterwards. He even seemed to be enjoying the time he spent with me.
When Charlie and Billy had returned and seen the state we were in, all hell had broken loose. Jake told both our dads the story, conveniently leaving out his initial treatment of me, and Billy immediately called Paul's family, but not before checking both of us out. Jake was given an ice pack to lay on the swelling of his right eye where Paul had gotten a punch in. My dad was thundering about, talking about how he was going to 'put that kid away until he's 50' and 'how dare he touch my daughter'. I cowered next to Jake, not usually seeing my dad this angry, until I felt a warm squeeze on my shoulder. I turned to find Jake smiling down at me and asking me to come with him to his room. I nodded and he took my hand and led me down the hall. He shut the door on Billy's yelling at the twins for not watching us like they were supposed to and both of them yelling back.
Jake showed me some of his toys and some carvings he had done. He had boasted that he was just starting to learn, his dad was teaching him, and he grinned proudly when I said how pretty they were. I liked his wolf one the best. It reminded me of him, being the same color as his russet skin. He told me I could keep it and I was ecstatic. I leaned in, hugging him tighter than I ever had previously, and kissed him on the cheek in thanks. He turned away and I could see the skin on the back of his neck was a bit darker than before. "Sure, sure," he had mumbled.
Eventually, Billy had calmed Charlie down enough to take me home. I said goodbye to them and when I reached Jake, I stared up at him. "Thank you, Jake," I had whispered to him and then leaned up, kissing the lid of his right eye when he closed it. "It'll be all better now." I smiled and turned to walk out with Charlie, who was chuckling as well as Billy.
"Close your mouth, boy, before you catch flies," Billy's amused voice followed us out the door.
"Bella," I heard Jake call out to me. I stopped and turned around, Charlie's hand still on my shoulder.
When Jake caught up with us, his eyes flickered over Charlie briefly before settling on me.
Charlie cleared his throat. "I'm gonna start the car. Don't take too long, Bells. You still need to call your mom when we get back." I nodded, staring at Jake. Charlie's hand disappeared and I heard the sounds of feet crunching gravel get further and further behind me.
Jake's gaze dropped down to the wolf in my hands.
"You'll come back soon….won't you?" His eyes met mine uncertainly. "I mean….you'll come back?" He looked hopeful for a second.
I smiled wider. "Uh huh," I nodded. "I'll come back."
His face broke out into a grin, a wince flashing across it when he was reminded of his injuries by the action. "Okay," he smiled gently. "I'll see you when you come back." He bit his lip. "Bye."
I waved. "Bye." And then I had walked the rest of the way to Charlie's cruiser.
…..
Unfortunately, I had never gone back. That was the last time I had visited Charlie in Forks for the summer. Until I moved there my junior year. And by that time, Charlie and Billy had had a falling out and hadn't spoken to each other in years.
I had never known what happened to Paul or even to Jake until I started to hear his 'legend' spreading. I had a hard time reconciling the boy I had met with the guy I was always hearing about but they were indeed one in the same.
But now, watching Jake in action, I still found it difficult to picture him as Jake Black, the boy who had defended me and protected me. I especially struggled with him having these new uncharacteristic qualities when I saw Paul next to him, smiling and having a good time.
The only way I knew it was him was because Jess told me that after she had hooked up with Jake, she had also hooked up with his friend. And she had fallen in lust at first sight with said friend. I had my suspicions, hoping it wasn't the same Paul. But everything was confirmed for me when I saw who Jess sauntered over to. He had the same unforgiving eyes. It was him.
So, I guess everything had been patched up between him and Jake after that day of fighting. The thing that had me shaking my head the most was how much Paul had hated me for being white but he was now hooking up with white girls left and right, my friend being one of them. They didn't seem to trouble him as much as my seven year-old self did. Interesting.
I snapped out of my thoughts and focused on my reasons for having Jess bring me here.
Why had I chosen to ask Jake of all people? Despite the small bit of history I had with him and our dads? Simple. The guy was a player, not looking for a relationship, was really good at what he did and would sleep with anything that moved. I'm definitely a plain Jane but I don't think I am that horrid that sex would be a completely frowned upon topic. Besides, as local bad boy and womanizer, wasn't it his goal to rack up chastity belts by the armful? To seduce me and strip me of my purity? Wasn't it in the job description or something? Plus, he wasn't one to kiss and tell. His reputation only grew because everyone else did. He didn't secretly tape anyone and put it out there on the internet. He didn't pull any psycho possessive stuff once he was finished with you. He was just as glad to keep it simple and unattached as the next guy. Besides, there was no way he would remember me; it had been a good twelve years. But just in case, I would do everything I could to keep him from finding out anything personal about me if my plan worked. Even if he did somehow find out it was me, my dad wasn't speaking to his dad so, less damage control.
Nope, this would be a simple exchange of services.
And deep down, somewhere small and hidden inside of me, I was secretly glad it was him.
Something told me that while he was a jerk, he wouldn't hurt me. Once, he had made me feel safe and now looking at him, me ignoring the woman glued to his side, I felt safe in knowing that if he agreed, he would be the one to induct me into a world of pleasurable, unattached, gratifying sex. And the last thing I needed was some moron looking for a quick lay, not caring whether he tore me in half or not as long as he got off. After what Rose and Jess and the rest had said, Jake could be rough but only if he was given the green light. He was never forceful. Uncommon for a player apparently but it just added to his appeal. At least that's what I had been told.
I watched the blonde lean in and start to kiss his neck and he smirked cockily at his friend standing across from him, inclining his head slightly as if to say 'what did I tell you?' The friend chuckled back. Jake had his hand on her lower back and he chuckled, too. "Slow down, baby. You'll get what's coming to you soon enough. Let's have a few drinks first." The blonde pulled back, smirking herself. "I am pretty thirsty, J. You sure you don't want to get what's comingto you, first?" She immediately cupped her hand over his crotch and began rubbing. My mouth dropped open at her forwardness in front of his friends who started laughing and catcalling.
I could never be that confident, not if I had sex a thousand times over and was an expert.
Jake chuckled again and moved her hand away, making me somewhat relieved until his hand disappeared behind her and the hem of her skirt lifted slightly and she gasped dramatically and moaned which turned into a whimper as she pouted up at him. "Don't worry, baby. I'll give you what you want soon enough." He then lifted his cup and took a sip as the blonde rubbed his chest.
A guy next to the friend Jake had grinned at before spoke up then. "Yeah, you better drink up, Jake. Seems like this little hellcat is gonna give you a run for your money tonight. You don't wanna get dehydrated or some shit."
"Yeah, seriously, man. She's gonna eat you alive," Paul piped in. Jess giggled, hanging off of him. I could see she had already had a few in the short time we'd been here, while I was distracted.
"Oh, she'll be eating something, alright," Jake let out before he took another sip of his drink. The guys all oooohed and laughed in chorus and the blonde just smiled and watched him hungrily.
Whatever determination I had before to go through with my plan was being shot down now as I watched them. I had known what he was like before I came here. I had known there was a good chance that he would already be taken for the night, possibly in the middle of something I wouldn't ever want to interrupt, when Jess told me he and his gang would be here tonight. I had already known this and I was under no false pretenses that he might really be a decent guy underneath the horn dog he had turned out to be, waiting for me to kiss him and magically turn him into the world's perfect kind-hearted boyfriend who knew the meaning of the word 'restraint'. Seeing that he had already taken his pick for the night didn't bother me.
What bothered me was watching how she moved, how confident and sure of herself she was. How she knew how to touch him, how to flirt, and how much Jake liked it. How she didn't blush when the guys casually mentioned how hard he'd be 'drilling her' or making any of their crude jokes. How she just smiled, amused as much as they were almost. Not to mention, she was gorgeous. This blonde could seriously give Rose some healthy competition and Rose was the most beautiful girl I had ever come across. Jake's current companion was supermodel hot and her body had flawless curves. And she knew how to flaunt them. Her tan complemented her well.
I could never be this girl.
I could never be anything close to her.
Who was I kidding?
This was histype. This was what he wanted, not some plain, inexperienced, nervous, mousy pale girl. It didn't matter that I was offering up my virginity. Watching him now, it was clear to me that he had probably taken hundreds. We were in Seattle; it could be thousands by now. What would mine matter? It surely wasn't enticing enough to him, not some small-town girl just looking to lose it. I was completely out of his league. He was in the majors and I hadn't even started playing yet. Even now, I watched him eye up some other girl who did the same to him as the blonde continued to kiss his neck. He smiled at her and she smiled back before walking into the other room, her hips swaying more than they had previously. It was evidently an invitation to follow. That girl might just be as sexy as the one now attached to his skin.
I couldn't believe it.
I couldn't believe how I had deluded myself. Embarrassed beyond measure, I turned to make a quick and quiet escape. I would come back to pick Jess up when she called me later, out of her mind drunk. Looks like I'd be staying a virgin a little bit longer than I anticipated.
Just as I started walking back from where we had come, Jess suddenly noticed me. "Beeeeeeeeee," she called out. "Where arrrrrre you going?" I froze, my eyes closing, praying the others hadn't heard her screech. But, as my luck would have it, they did.
I opened my eyes and turned halfway, not looking at them. "I forgot, Jess. I told Ang I'd meet her back at the dorm in half an hour. I'll be back to pick you up later. Just give me a call when you're done, okay?" I then tried to make my escape but a hand gripped mine and swung me back to face the large group.
Jess was surprisingly fast and strong for an intoxicated person.
My eyes scanned the people behind her and all eyes were on me, especially Jake's. I dropped mine and forced myself to breathe. Okay, this wasn't exactly how I had wanted to get his attention.
Jess pulled me with her. Her nails dug into my palm and I was biting my lip to keep from crying out in pain. When had this girl become Superwoman with the steel grip all of a sudden?
"Jaaaaake," she slurred. At his name, the blonde's head shot up, her eyes narrowing into slits in Jessica's direction. "My friend wants to meet you." She hiccupped and then giggled. I was mortified.
Paul, of all people, saved me. Irony slapped me in the face with that one. "Jess, baby, what are you talking about? Get back over here, sexy!" He scooped Jessica up, making her giggle, and brought her over to the pool table, where he sat her down and proceeded to make out with her, leaving me alone in the spotlight for the rest of the group.
Okay, Paul hadn't saved me and I would definitely be killing Jessica later.
"Meet me?" Jake laughed. "Why?"
My cheeks were burning as the blonde's eyes fixated on me, boring holes into my skull where I stood. I chewed my lip and tried to think of something plausible. This was definitely not how I envisioned my night going.
"I….," I gave a nervous smile. "Um, well….you know….Jessica is…." I motioned over to the couple who were getting hot and heavy. All heads turned in their direction, shoulders were shrugged and then they all turned back to me, making me blush again. "I….she was just…."
Jake smirked and sat down on the pool table, a little distance away from Paul and Jess, pulling the blonde onto his thigh.
A friend of his stepped into view, eyes trailing down my body. "Jake, man, if you want, I can take care of this one since you're busy. I haven't had white meat in so long—"
My eyes widened and I went to step back. "N-No. I'm good, thanks," I said quietly. Jake's voice then cut through the din of the guys cheering their friend on.
"Knock it off, Quil. You'll scare the poor girl away. Let her talk." Quil gave me a wolfish grin which made me shiver but did indeed back off. Jake's gaze focused on me then. "What was your name again, sweetheart?"
The blonde looked back and forth between us, clearly not happy, and I went to speak. I was right, he hadn't recognized me. Thank God for one thing going in my favor tonight. "B-Bella," I squeaked out.
The guys all laughed and I flushed, about to drop my eyes when I saw Jake's head snap to attention. He stared at me, as if his dark eyes would pierce through me and somehow reach the truth that I didn't want him to know.
Oh no.
I started to worry my bottom lip, refusing to meet his eyes, instead choosing to glance over in Jess' direction. My brows arched when I saw Jess' hands grabbing Paul's butt.
"Bella?" He asked.
My head swiveled back in his direction and I could see he was still trying to put two and two together. Why hadn't I said Isabella or gone by B like Jess had called me? What was wrong with me? How many girls in the Olympic Peninsula would have a name like Bella? Even though I had grown up, I still had the brown eyes, brown hair and near translucent skin that I had back when I first met him. I had to act fast if I had any last dash of hope in diverting his attention away from connecting the dots.
"Yeah. And you're Jake Black." More laughter erupted and he gave me that cocky smirk from before. Inwardly, I sighed in relief. I had distracted him successfully.
"In the flesh." He then picked up the blonde's hand and placed it on the crotch of his jeans. Without being told, she immediately began rubbing him and his smirk widened when he noticed my eyes trained to that very spot. I blushed and looked away towards the entrance to another connecting room, one arm crossed against my chest, holding onto my other arm. I bit my lip so hard I was surprised it didn't bleed. I heard a few chuckles, including his.
"So, what can I do for you….Bella?"
I released my lip. It was now or never.
"I was wondering if we could….talk." I turned back to him, forcing myself to meet his eyes.
I pretended not to notice when the blonde's hand froze and she glared over at me. I ignored her when she started to rub him harder and then leaned in to whisper something into his ear.
He surprised me when he leaned away, still keeping his eyes trained on mine. "We are talking."
I narrowed my eyes slightly. "I was hoping to talk to you….alone."
Everyone stopped then. The blonde straightened up, removing her hand from him and turned in my direction. The guys laughed, looking back and forth between me and Jake, making catcalls and crude jokes that I willed myself not to hear. Jess and Paul still continued to shove their tongues down each other's throats. Jake studied me carefully before a sly smile slowly spread across his face.
"Alone?"
I gave a curt nod.
He stayed silent for a minute and I saw his eyes flicker over to his friend that had proposed to take me off of his hands earlier and then back to me. I swallowed nervously. Was he planning on letting Quil talkto me alone instead?
My worst fears were confirmed when I saw a wicked grin form on his friend's face. But instead of moving over to me, he moved closer to Jake and the blonde who was shooting daggers at me with her eyes. I quickly wondered if I was about to be attacked. I made myself focus once more on Jake's gaze. I didn't want to lose my nerve.
Jake's eyes drank me in as he carefully considered me. The blonde noticed and she immediately worked to win back his attention from me. Her hand went back to cupping him and she pushed her body up against his. "Mmmm, J, let's go upstairs. Come on," she purred. I made sure to keep my face blank when I saw her moan into his ear as she rubbed up against him.
His head then snapped towards her and I dropped my eyes.
She had won.
I could never compete. She had experience and I didn't. She knew what she was doing. Maybe I should have come earlier like Jess wanted to and not forced her to sit in the car for a half hour in the parking lot of our building, pulling me back from the brink of an anxiety attack. Maybe then I would have had a chance to have him hear me out.
I took a deep breath and turned, getting ready to leave. I'd have to try another night and I would certainly have to take Rose up on her offer for pointers so next time, I kept his attention with me. Though I knew I would never be able to do anything so daring that the blonde had just done. I just wasn't that confident. Or sexy.
The dress I had on now was the nicest thing I owned and I felt….pretty in. But I guess I should have listened to Jess when she told me I looked more like a sophomore in high school about to go to prom. Little did she know that this was one of the dresses Alice had given me (more like donated) to wear to that fateful prom but I had chosen the one green gown that hadn't washed me out. It was Edward's favorite color.
I would have to let Jess and Rose dress me next time. I sighed quietly and began walking. I knew Jess would call me in a few hours to come and get her. I'd go back home and finish up my new book. At least one good thing would come out of this disaster of an evening.
"Hey, Quil." Something in Jake's tone made me stop and look back at him. His eyes were once again on me.
"What's up, man?" I saw the guy from before answer him. He was still next to them.
"Do me a favor and grab us some drinks, will you? I'm gonna be preoccupiedfor a while and I need another beer."
Quil snorted. "Sure thing, bro."
There. Jake had confirmed that the blonde had won. It was time to make my escape.
But before I could take another step, Jake then turned to the woman that was now happily trailing her tongue down his neck.
"You mind getting it for me, baby?" The blonde's smile dropped. I watched as Jake piled on the charm and gave her his sexiest smirk, almost as if someone had turned the dial on his sexiness up to high. "Then we can go up and do exactly what you were whispering about." His smirk widened. "More than once."
The blonde's own smile returned and she nodded. I watched her lean in to kiss him but he turned his head and kissed her neck instead. She sighed happily, her eyes closing halfway. I was astounded as I watched him work. Sure enough, when he pulled away, the blonde stared at him dreamily. "Go get it for me, baby. And then we'll head up." She nodded again and hurried to do as he asked. He smacked her on the ass as she left and she turned to look at him lustfully. He smoldered at her as she left. Once she had gone into the living room, I noticed the guy Jake named as Quil wasn't too far behind her.
"Let's head up." My eyes snapped back to Jake, who was now on his feet, staring right at me. I noticed his voice had been less husky and more serious when he had spoken to me.
"W-What?" I croaked out, embarrassed at the way I sounded.
He moved closer. "You wanted to talk," My heart sped up with every step he took. Was he really suggesting I go with him upstairs? He stopped when he was right in front of me, close enough that I could feel his body heat, warming the front of mine. "So, let's talk." He held out his hand and I dropped my gaze down to it.
This was it. This was really happening. My plan was coming to fruition. Could I really do this? Could I really take Jake's hand and let him take me upstairs so we could have sex? I swallowed nervously and my eyes fluttered back up to his. His smirk had softened into a gentle smile. For a split second, I secretly wondered if he was now charming me.
If he was, it worked.
Without even realizing it, I gingerly placed my hand in his, causing his smile to deepen. He inclined his head in the direction of the other room in the opposite direction of where the blonde and his friend had disappeared in.
Where I expected to hear more laughter or rude commentary, I didn't. I hadn't even noticed that the guys had dispersed out into the party, leaving me and Jake pretty much alone. Except for Jess and Paul who were practically humping each other on the pool table.
My mouth felt dry as I tried to speak. "D-Don't you….isn't your…." What was she exactly? "Date….going to be unhappy about that?" I stammered out.
He watched me, clearly amused. "Come on." He tugged on my hand, stepping towards the other entryway, but I stayed still.
"Don't you have plans with her, though?"
He stopped and turned to look at me. He then glanced in the direction she had gone, shrugging nonchalantly.
He then turned back to me, smiling. "Wanna go?"
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "No," I replied quietly. Why would he think I would want to leave? Just because I asked him about the blonde that had been groping him only a few moments before?
His smile faded and his brows furrowed. "I thought you wanted to talk."
"I do," I clarified.
He snorted. "Let's go then." He walked towards the other room, this time pulling me along with him out of the room and into a hallway where the stairs were. As we walked over, I forced myself to take a deep breath and summoned courage from I don't know where to keep moving.
This was it.
This was what I wanted.
Wasn't it?
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Jake's hand tightened on mine before leading me up. A couple of guys, obviously drunk or high or both, bravely whistled at me and said loudly how they'd like to take me upstairs and teach me a thing or two. I bit my lip and kept my eyes down, focusing on the stairs so I wouldn't trip.
"She's taken for the night," Jake replied, sounding angrier than I would have thought. His response made me start in surprise. I felt stupid for not realizing just exactly what he was expecting to come from this ''talk''. But, wasn't that I wanted as well? Wasn't that my ultimate goal?
Eventually, we reached the top and he led me down the hall. We passed a couple of doors where it was more than obvious people were going at it behind them. The moans and screams were so loud, I was shocked there were people hanging outside, just talking and drinking, as if they didn't hear it.
The next one, the door was open and a group of people watched as some guy pounded into a woman from behind. The sound of skin slapping, so loud it had to be reverberating off the walls towards me, had my mouth hanging open as well as the sight of some onlookers touching each other or themselves as they enjoyed the scene before them.
I felt a tug on my hand and I looked up to see Jake staring at me, arching a brow questioningly. I hadn't even realized I had stopped. I swallowed and went to step forward when I heard the woman scream. My eyes snapped to the room. "Oh my fucking God, yes! Stick that big cock in me! You gonna fucking cum? Yeah? You gonna cum? You gonna cum inside my pussy?! Give me that cum!"
The guy moaned loudly and then grunted like a wild animal before pulling out and turning the woman over so he could come all over her face. The sight, appealing to so many of these people as they all cheered the couple on, was not a turn on for me at all. This is not what I had in mind when I imagined myself having sex. I fervently hoped that Jake wasn't thinking to do the same. I'd be sick if he tried.
I watched in disgust as streams of semen landed in her hair and on her nose and in her eyes as she shut them tightly. Then he shoved her head away, laughing, asking her, "You like that, bitch, don't you?"
And then much to my horror, a guy onlooker undid his pants and came up behind the girl. He lifted her up and pushed into her with incredible speed. She started screaming again and the first guy, who started to redress, laughed again and told the guy to fuck her good as did the crowd.
I couldn't see anymore because Jake then blocked my view. He smirked down at me. "Bella, if you want to stay and watch, be my guest. I thought you wanted to talk to me, but I guess this beats talking, huh?" There seemed to be an edge to his voice when he said it and it forced my attention back to him. His eyes seemed amused yet….angry.
I was surprised and embarrassed all at once. Here he stood, the infamous playboy of the Olympic Peninsula practically and I was the one acting like a complete pervert, watching the live porn going on in front of us, not him.
I flushed as I thought of something to say but a choking sound cut off the screams. I leaned around him to look and saw another guy from the crowd now had his dick down the girl's throat. The first guy from before was now grabbing her hair and pushing her head further down onto the second onlooker, causing the choking and gagging sounds that continued to pour out of her throat. The crowd only cheered louder and I noticed the guy with the camera from downstairs had joined them, filming it all. I shuddered, wincing, and went back to my original stance. I dropped Jake's hand and hugged myself practically as I shuddered at the next gagging sound following by coughing.
I kept my eyes on Jake's chest. "Can we go somewhere else to talk?" I asked quietly.
He moved closer to me, forcing me to look up at him.
"Once we go in the room, it'll just be the two of us. And then we can talk," he reassured me. He brushed my hair behind my ear and caressed my neck soothingly as he did.
I nodded and he wrapped his left arm around me, pulling me with him further down the hall. This time I moved where he led me, happy to get away from the sights and sounds of that room.
We went to the end of the hallway and Jake knocked on the closed door. He didn't receive any answer so he tried the knob. The door opened to reveal a room that was dark and empty. He removed himself from me to step inside, grabbed my hand and pulled me in after him. He flicked the switch and then released me to go over by the bed. He hit a button on the stereo on the bedside table facing us. Music started drifting out of the speakers and Jake smirked approvingly. "Nice." I looked around, rubbing my upper arms. I suddenly felt cold.
"So," Jake started as he plopped onto the bed, laying back and propping his head up against the pillows, his arms behind him. He smiled at me. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
I bit my lip as I thought of how to answer that. He watched me expectantly.
Should I really tell him why I wanted to talk to him? What if he laughs? What if he tells me I'm nuts and completely off my rocker? What if he doesn't believe me, after the episode in the hallway? What if, what if, what if? I stopped the nagging thoughts in my head. I had come this far, no use in turning back now. I already had him on the bed, giving me an inviting smile.
I licked my lips and opened my mouth to speak, keeping my eyes down.
"I, uh…." Okay, how best to phrase this? "Well….what I mean is…." I sighed heavily, shaking my head at myself. Why was this so hard to get out?
"Just out with it, Bells."
My eyes snapped to his and he arched his brows, daring me to challenge him. Was it possible that he knew me? Only Charlie ever called me Bells—okay, no more thoughts of Charlie allowed at all tonight. Not while I was doing this.
I pressed my lips into a tight thin line and nodded once. "I'm well aware of your reputation, Jake. And I was wondering if you could….help me."
He shrugged. "Depends. What do you need help with?"
I narrowed my eyes at him. He didn't even deny the first part of my statement. But then again, why should he? He's not coming to me, trying to convince me of anything. And what I had seen downstairs was more than enough proof besides all of the stories I had heard.
I took a deep breath and let it out. Here goes nothing.
"I was wondering if you would be my first," I mumbled out.
His brows shot up. "What was that?"
I bit my lip nervously and looked away. My face was on fire. I cleared my throat and said it again. "I wanted to know if you would be my first," I rushed out in a breath, louder this time.
Silence followed my question and my face burned hotter. I bit my lip harder and dropped my head, studying the carpet underneath my feet. I frowned at the kitten heels I had on. As little as they were, I still wanted them off. I waited a minute and when I still didn't get any answer, I bent down to take them off.
In my peripherals, I saw Jake shoot up on the bed. "Wait, Bella!"
I froze and then looked up at him. "I'm just taking my shoes off," I murmured, embarrassed, glancing away from him.
He cleared his throat quickly. "Yeah, I know and I think maybe we should talk about this first before you do that."
I took my shoes off anyway and then stood up. Ah, freedom.With a huff, I blew a wayward curl out of my face. "I wasn't taking them off for that reason. And since when did you need to talk first?" I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him.
His eyebrows shot up for the second time and for a second, I was scared that maybe I had just ruined my chance. But then he chuckled, shaking his head, laying back and getting comfortable once again.
"Good point." His dark eyes held me in their gaze. "So, let me get this straight, you're asking me to be your dick for hire? Is that it?"
I immediately blushed and crossed my arms and looked down at the floor again.
"No, that's not….the way I would put it…."
"But that's basically what it is, correct?"
My eyes snapped to his. "No. I am not paying you for it." I walked to the window. "I'm not thatdesperate," I muttered.
He snorted. "Yeah, you're coming to some guy you barely know, asking him to fuck you, but no, you're not desperate."
I turned and glared at him. "Last I checked, morals weren't exactly your strong point. You fuck anything that moves just to get your dick wet. What the hell do you care whether I'm asking you for it or not? I'm sorry, would you prefer me to go downstairs, get drunk out of my mind first so you then can take advantage of me and you and your buddies can pat yourself on the back for another job well done?"
I immediately regretted the words once they were out of my mouth. If looks could kill….
He slowly got to his feet and walked around the bed towards me. I swallowed nervously but refused to show that I was afraid of what he might do next. Maybe talking in this room wasn't such a great idea. What if he gave me what I wanted, right now, and there was no great orgasms and best sex-of-my-life as Rose and Jess had experienced? I bet they hadn't spoken to him like that.
He reached me and studied my expression. I stared back up at him, not giving an inch.
"You said you're still a virgin?"
I winced at the word and looked back out the window. "Yeah," I said quietly.
He snorted again. "Why doesn't that surprise me? You don't need me to fuck you, sweetheart. You need me to help you dislodge the stick that's rammed up your ass." I turned to glower at him and he just smirked back at me, his eyes once again challenging me.
I scoffed and turned to head to the door, picking up my shoes as I went. "This was a mistake. Just forget it."
I had my hand on the knob when he called out to me. "Why did you ask me of all people, Bella? Any of those guys would have given you what you wanted downstairs and wouldn't have thought twice about it. You wouldn't have had to go to all this trouble." I heard the bed groan a bit as he presumably got back into the position he had been in before. "So, why me?"
I kept my eyes on the door. "Does it matter? You won't do it anyway."
"It matters to me," he said rather quickly and then he added, "I want to know how many more virgins are gonna show up at my door, stalking me at these things, asking me to be their firsts. Since when did I become the local 'deflowerer'?"
Since you slept with half of Washington State.But, I bit my tongue and refused to let that thought out. I sighed. "You aren't. I just thought….maybe you….whatever, it doesn't matter. Forget I asked. Sorry I wasted your time. Good night." I opened the door and was shocked when a russet hand closed it in front of me. I spun, ready to unleash my fury on him when I realized his close proximity as he trapped me between both of his arms, his palms against the door at my back. I hadn't even heard him get off of the bed.
He leaned in until our noses were almost touching and I did my best to control my nervousness. My breathing sped up involuntarily and I couldn't help but stare back at him. He smiled, enjoying my reaction. "So, why me, Bella?"
I didn't say anything. I couldn't.
He grinned wider and in a fast movement, he had me up in his arms and my legs wrapped around his waist. I gasped loudly and he carried me to the bed. My breathing increased even more, my chest was heaving up and down uncontrollably with every step he took. What was he doing?
He laid me down gently with him on top of me across the bed. I watched him, almost scared to make a sound. This is what I wanted, right?
Right?
He smirked down at me and laid both hands on either side of my head, holding himself up.
"Aren't you going to tell me?"
I swallowed but still I couldn't say anything.
He slowly leaned down until his lips were inches from mine. "No?" He smiled. "I guess I'll have to get it out of you some other way then." His voice was huskier and I closed my eyes, swallowing again. I suddenly felt very thirsty. Is this why his friends had told him and the blonde to keep drinking and not dehydrate? My throat was so dry.
And then I felt his tongue lick upwards on my neck. I gasped as my eyes shot open and I turned to look at him. He chuckled and lined up our noses. "You taste good, Bells." And then he lifted his body slightly higher. "I have to wonder," His lips got closer to mine. "If you taste just as good," Closer still. "Everywhere." And then he moved down my body, never breaking eye contact with me.
I gasped in shock and then sat up quickly. "No, no, don't." I covered my face with my hands and I heard him chuckle next to me. He went to move my hands but I didn't budge. Then I dropped my hands and moved to the other side of the bed, swinging my legs over and sat with my back to him. I then returned my face to my hands.
"What's wrong?"
His voice was flat, emotionless. I knew then that I couldn't do this. I was wrong. I couldn't do this. Not with someone like him.
What had I been thinking?
I dropped my hands again and got to my feet. "Nothing. I was right. This was a mistake. I'm sorry I bothered you." I raced for the door, stooping down to pick up my shoes where I dropped them, and opened the door.
Once again, I was prevented from leaving but this time there were no hands closing the door. This time there was a gentle grasp of my arm. "Bells, hang on a second."
I took a deep breath and then opened my eyes, staring out into the hallway which had amassed an even bigger crowd and apparently even more people since the cries were now diverse. "What?"
"I didn't mean to…..make you uncomfortable. I was just playing around with you a little bit." I heard him sigh. "Let's talk for a minute."
I shook my head. That was the last thing I wanted to do. "There's no point. I shouldn't have asked you. I'm sorry." I went to move and he again pulled me back gently. This time he closed the door softly and turned to face me, his back to the door.
"Why can't you just tell me?"
His eyes were much kinder than they had been in the last few minutes. I pressed my lips together and lowered my gaze. I lifted my shoulders as if to shrug and then blurted it out. "You slept with a couple of my friends."
He watched me expectantly. I bit my lip and continued. "And they said you were….really good….at what you do," I let out in a breath. "And….." my teeth dug into my bottom lip. "I wanted to get past this…." I gestured to myself with my hand silently. "And I thought maybe…." I was looking anywhere else but at him. "Since you obviously know what you're doing….that maybe you could….that you wouldn't mind helping me." I let out a deep breath. There. The truth. The complete truth.
"And that's it?"
My eyes rose to his, my eyebrows mashing in confusion. I nodded before looking back down.
After what seemed like an awkward forever, Jake spoke. "Well, your friends aren't wrong," he chuckled. "But, what exactly is it that you're hoping to get out of this, Bella? Even if I….happen to know a few things?"
I shrugged. "It's better with someone who knows what they're doing. Someone who will also focus on me rather than just getting in, getting off and getting out. My friends say the first time isn't…." I grimaced. "Pleasant and that if they had been with someone who knew what they were doing, it might have been easier."
"Bella," He cupped my chin and lifted my eyes to his. "No matter what I do, it's gonna hurt. There's no getting past that."
I bit my lip and looked elsewhere. "I know."
He sighed. "But…." I glanced back up at him. "I'll take care of you the best way I know how. I'll try to make you as comfortable as possible."
I was confused again. Was he agreeing to help me?
He must have read my mind. He released my chin and held up a finger. "But, there are conditions if I'm going to help you with this….problem."
I waited.
"First of all, after we fuck, we go our separate ways. I don't do relationships. I'm not looking for one and I doubt you are either. Regardless, we don't know each other exist the minute we finish.
"Secondly, this is not love. We are not in love. You don't love me and I don't love you. We don't know each other or anything about each other. It stays that way. Virgins have a nasty habit of attaching themselves to the guy they give it up to, convincing themselves that they're in love. So, let me assure you, again, not love. This is a fuck, plain and simple."
My brows shot up, shocked at his forwardness but then again, was I expecting any different?
"I'm serious, Bella. If I even hear you utter the L word while I'm fucking you or you ask me to say it, I'm out. I will leave you high and dry in more ways than one. I will take a jerk off session and some porn any day of the week over that shit."
My eyes widened. Again, not surprised that he watches porn, but wow.
"Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
I nodded.
"Good. Number three, I'm wrapping it. Always do. If you don't like that and want it bareback, tell me now. I don't give a fuck if you're on the pill or that it's not your time of the month or any of that female crap; condoms or no deal. Do you have a problem with that?"
I shook my head. Of course, condoms were a requirement for me, too. I'm glad he had already put that on the table. From what I heard, not all guys like it that way so I'm glad to see he wasn't one of them.
"Number four, I have slept with women before you, as you seem to be more than aware of, and I will continue to after you. If by some chance, you see me at another party or on the street or on a fucking plane somewhere and I'm with another chick, you will not get jealous, approach her or me, threaten us in any way or try to turn it into a girl fight."
"Have girls really done that to you before?"
"Shit happens. So, no jealousy, no problems, because we don't exist to each other, correct?"
I snorted and nodded again, crossing my arms.
"What?"
"Nothing. It just seems like a lot of rules for a one-time deal. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of the casual one night stand?"
He lowered his hand. "Bella, if you want me to be the one to fuck you first and fuck you proper, then you need to follow these, to the letter. Or this can't happen."
I saw that he was deadly serious and I contemplated it for a second. It was worth it. If anything could make Rosalie Hale gush like a school girl, it had to be worth it. I nodded.
He smiled. "Good."
I bit my lip. "So no contact, no L word, no….bareback," I slightly winced at the crude word. "And no jealousy. Is that right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, that's it for me." His eyes trailed down my body. "What about you? Do you have any conditions?"
Did I? No, I don't think I did. I think he pretty much covered everything.
"Nope. Pretty much everything you said back at you. I'm not looking for a relationship, either. This isn't love, just sex. There will be NO sex without condoms. I don't want any of your girlfriends coming at me either if they hear that we slept together, including your 'friend' downstairs."
He smirked at me and grabbed the edges of my sweater, pulling me slowly to him. "Done deal." He then proceeded to peel the sweater off of me and drop it to the floor. His hands rested on my hips, kneading softly but getting a little harder with each movement.
"Wouldn't you rather this be with someone you know? Someone you trust? Someone you care about? Who cares about you?"
I bit my lip and stared into his dark eyes. "I do trust you and no."
He narrowed his eyes at me for a minute before leaning in and pressing soft kisses to the skin under my ear. My eyes drifted closed. That felt really good. Neither Edward nor Colin had paid attention to that spot before. I smiled. Just another thing convincing me I was making the right decision in choosing Jake. He knew what he was doing.
"Why do you trust me? You don't even know me," he breathed into my ear.
"I just do," I whispered back, tilting my head to give him better access.
"Why? Because of what your friends said?"
I shook my head and sighed contentedly when he started to lavish attention on my neck. "Mm-mmm." I licked my lips and held him closer to me, my arm around his shoulders.
"Then why?"
His hot breath against my neck made me shiver. I licked my lips again, biting down on the bottom one. I didn't answer and instead focused on his ministrations. He kissed a hot trail to my jawline. "Bells?"
I had had some seriously hot makeout sessions in my time but my God, I had never felt anything close to this type of burning that was now throughout my body. Nothing sexual had been done, no fondling. He hadn't even kissed me yet but somehow….
That thought hit me. We hadn't kissed yet. I wanted to be kissed by him. Would he not want to? Was it too personal for him? Should I have added that as a condition?
"Jake," I whispered into his ear as he had moved back to my neck, suckling on my skin.
"Hmm?" I heard him, slightly muffled.
"I was just wondering," I gasped when I felt him bite down and then sighed when he soothed the area with his tongue. "A-Are we allowed to….kiss? Or is that another," I gasped again when he suckled on the spot harder. "C-Condition?"
"Uh uh," he said into my ear before nipping the lobe, making me gasp once more. I would be lying if I said that didn't disappoint me. While I had nixed the fairy tale version of my first time and changed the participant, I had still wanted to be kissed. He pulled back, keeping our faces inches from each other.
"There will be lots of kissing," he let out in a harsh breath before he crushed his lips to mine. His tongue swept into my mouth, moving against mine, and I moaned. He picked me up once again and carried me to the bed. He laid me down gently and then lifted up, making me let out a small whimper.
He chuckled and straightened up. He unbuttoned a few of the top buttons on his shirt before he worked it over his head with one arm and then tossed it behind him. His chest was magnificent and his abs were sculpted perfection. He was literally a russet god in front of me. He was beautiful.
He then lowered himself back onto me and began kissing me again, more passionately than before. We were both breathing through our noses loudly and I couldn't help but gasp against him whenever his talented tongue or hands did something incredible.
To his credit, he didn't go in for the kill right away. His hands roamed over my body, squeezing here and there, but always over my dress. It was some time before he dove underneath the skirt and rubbed at my panties. I broke away, gasping and undulating under his hand. He groaned and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "Holy shit, you're already wet for me."
I blushed. I hadn't realized just how much I had saturated the fabric. In the end, it wouldn't really matter but old habits die hard, I guess. I busied myself with kissing his bare shoulder, his collarbone and his neck.
I shyly reached my hand to his crotch, felt the bulge that was up against the inside of my thigh and began to rub. "Can I touch you?" I whispered.
He raised his head and stared down at me, panting. "Bells, you can touch me all you want but first we have to get this off of you." He sat up and pulled me with him. He found the zipper at the back and hurriedly pulled it down.
It hit me then that I was really going to do this. I was going to lose my virginity tonight. Here, in this room. Wait, in this room? At this party? Hadn't I planned on that, though?
"Jake," I felt him tug at the tie around my neck, loosening it.
"Yeah?"
"Are we really going to do this here?"
He froze and then moved back to look at me. "Where did you think this was going to happen?"
At the tone of his voice, I bit my lip and looked down, a little ashamed for asking him to help me, lead him on and then stop him. "I don't know. I guess I hadn't figured that part out yet."
To my surprise, he chuckled. He brushed the backs of his fingers across my cheek gently. "You're gonna be tough to please, aren't you?"
I glanced up at him, angry. "No! I just didn't….it's not like….whatever." I huffed and crossed my arms, looking away from him.
He sighed and then pulled my face towards him again. "Is it really that important to you where it happens? What's wrong with this? We have a bed, a room to ourselves. What more do you want?"
"I just didn't expect it to be….at a party….with everyone outside….listening…." I studied the comforter underneath us.
He chuckled again. "Honey, I think they're all rather preoccupied right now. I doubt they'll hear us at all." I smiled up at him. I was glad he didn't call me baby or any other cheap name he called the rest of these women. I guess honey could be another he used but when he called me it, it put me at ease strangely enough. He brushed my hair over my shoulder. "Besides, isn't this what you figured would happen if I agreed to do this for you?"
I bit my lip and dropped my eyes. "I guess you have a point."
I heard him sigh again and before I knew it, he was laying down next to me and pulling me with him. I laid my head on his shoulder and I felt him rubbing my upper arm soothingly.
"Alright, Bells, let's talk about this candidly. How exactly did you imagine things working out?"
"With you?" I turned up to him.
He shook his head. "No. I mean, in general, your first time."
I shrugged. "I don't know."
He glanced down at me, a brow arched. "You've never imagined it? Never thought about it? Not even once?"
"Well, no," His brow arched higher. "Okay yeah, I've thought about it but nothing specific."
He closed his eyes and relaxed. "No place in particular?"
I shook my head, drawing circles on his chest. "No."
"Okay. On a bed, on a couch, the shower, a car, what?"
I grimaced. "A bed."
"Candles?"
I bit my lip. "Um, I guess."
"Soft music? Sort of like what's playing now?"
"Okay."
"Typical."
I flinched. Never would I tell him that was how I had tried to set up my first night back with Colin. I grimaced again and buried my head into his chest, not even thinking. I shuddered at the memory and he resumed rubbing my arm, pulling me in a little tighter.
"Cold?" He asked.
"Um, yeah," I lied.
He turned on his side towards me and encased me fully in his arms, leaving his lips near my hairline. He never once opened his eyes. His hands rubbed my back.
Eventually they slowed to a stop. I could hear his breathing becoming deep and even.
"Jake?"
He started awake and pulled me closer. "Dammit, Bells, I'm falling asleep. You should have hit me up last weekend and five beers ago."
"Why?"
He yawned and maneuvered us so we were under the covers. "Been a busy week at work. Everyone leaving campus is trying to get everything done before they leave. Parties all week and overtime, I'm exhausted." He yawned again, holding me tight.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I can always…." I started to sit up but he tugged me back down to him.
"Nah, Bells. Just give me twenty minutes and then I'll be good to go again. I just need a quick power nap. I can't wait until next week when I can actually sleep again."
He started to drift off again when I thought of something. I didn't want to wake him up but my curiosity got the better of me and needed to be sated.
"Jake?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah, Bells?"
"That….in the hallway before….what we….saw….." I bit my lip and rested my chin on his chest, looking up at him. "Do you do that kind of stuff?"
His eyes flipped open and he stared down at me.
I immediately started backtracking. "I-I don't mean….I just meant….have you ever….," I heaved a big sigh. "I just meant, are you into it?"
He frowned at me. "Sex? Yes. Turning it into a fucking dog and pony show? No. Why? Are youinto that?"
I blushed but I saw him studying me carefully. "Um, no, no." I lifted my head and dropped my eyes to his chest. "Not at all."
"Are you sure? You seemed like you wanted to stop and watch for a while."
I met his eyes. "No."
He didn't look away. "Then why did you stop?"
I scoffed. "It's not something you see every day and it kind of….caught me off guard."
He must have been carefully considering my answer because he didn't say a word and he never blinked.
I ended up blushing. "Jake, I am a virgin here! It's not exactly like I frequent sex clubs and I enjoy watching other people getting off!"
He still didn't respond. I rolled my eyes and sat up on my knees, crossing my arms. "I was just surprised that they were so open about it, that's all. And the guy with the camera and the girls downstairs…." I grimaced in disgust.
Jake lifted himself up onto his elbow and kept his eyes trained on me.
"It's all the rage nowadays. You can't do anything without someone filming it and putting it on the net. Those girls down there just wanted attention and they got it. Same for the girl and guys in the room. That's just what happens at these things. Haven't you ever been to a party before?"
My face heated up. "Not like this one. I mean, I've been to them before to pick Jess up but never did I see anything like that."
He cocked his head, studying me. "You're really a small town girl, aren't you? A realgood girl?"
I bit my lip and dropped my arms. "If I was a good girl," I gestured towards him. "Would we even be having this conversation right now? We wouldn't be talking at all."
I saw something flash in his eyes but it was too fast for me to identify. He lowered his gaze and shook his head once. "Probably not. Oh well. Guess you're not a good girl after all." He then laid back and rested his arm underneath his head, staring up at the ceiling.
I wasn't sure what to say, it seemed kind of uncomfortable all of a sudden. "So, you're not into the whole filming a sex tape thing?"
He snorted and looked over at her. "Nope, never have been. Call me old fashioned but I like some privacy. I mean, I've certainly watched before and it's hard not to get turned on, especially when two women are going at it, but a big production like that? Not my scene." He shook his head and turned back to the ceiling.
I moved over to sit back against the headboard next to him, my arms crossed. "When you say you've watched…."
"I mean, I've watched. Sometimes when I hook up, it's a group thing."
I stared down at him in horror. "So, it's true then? You're really a gangbanger now?"
His eyes widened and his head snapped towards me. "What?!" And then he burst out into laughter. I continued to glare at him, waiting for him to stop. He shook his head. "God, Bells. Who comes up with this shit? Gangbanger? Seriously? Oh fuck, that is classic. I can't wait to tell the guys." He ran a hand through his hair. "First, I break in virgins and now I'm a gangbanger. Wow. Somebody sure has their facts fucked up."
"But you just said, a group thing. You admitted to it."
He scoffed. "I did not. I meant I've been part of the occasional threesome. And sometimes I was with two women and they were happy to do things without me and just let me watch. Jesus."
My eyes widened again. "Oh."
He laughed again. "Gangbanger. I'll need to add that to my list of skills. Which reminds me," He grabbed me and pulled me down to his chest, making me yelp in surprise. He then was hovering over me, his face nearly close to mine. "Are you done interviewing me? Did I get the job? Do you still want me to be the one to do this for you or no? Gangbanging skills and all?" He smirked good-naturedly down at me. The light in his eyes showed me he was truly amused by what I had said.
"Um….yeah….yes….if you still want to." I wasn't sure how else to say it.
He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me. But before he could, there was a loud yell in the hall. "Yeah, boys! Fuck those bitches silly!" And then there was an even louder bang against the door, making me jump. And then another bang and then another and many more. In between, I could hear a long wail of a moan. "That's it, man! Give me some door action! Really fucking pound her, dude!" What the—were these people serious?
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Jake went from amused to pissed in seconds and he jumped up, heading to the door. He unlocked it and threw it open quickly, causing the couple against it to fall to the floor. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jake hollered.
Everyone in the hallway laughed and that pissed Jake off more. He turned to the naked couple on the floor. "Get the fuck out of here! Can't you see I'm fucking busy? GET THE FUCK OUT!"
The guy and girl scrambled to their feet and hurried from the room as people in the crowd yelled out, "Sorry, J. Won't happen again." The people out in the hall stared in at us and I blushed, crossing my arms over my chest. "KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS ROOM!" And then Jake slammed the door, making me jump again. He locked it as there was more banging but it was further down, away from our door, followed by more cheers. Jake sighed angrily and shook his head before coming back to the bed.
He laid back down next to me and pulled me against him. "Sorry," he murmured into my hair.
"It's okay," I whispered.
His fingers brushed soothingly over my arm back and forth in an exaggerated motion.
It was a few minutes before either of us spoke again. "I don't think tonight's gonna be the night, Bells," he said sleepily.
My nerves got the best of me. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked timidly. I didn't think I had but I needed to be sure.
"No, honey, it's not you. I'm just really not in the mood now. I'm fucking exhausted as all fuck and well, you were right, this place sucks."
I giggled into his neck.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing. Just that the gangbanger sounds like a cranky old man in his seventies and he doesn't want to get it on because he doesn't like the surroundings. I'm sorry, would you prefer a bed with candles and soft music?"
"Maybe."
"Typical." I giggled again and this time he joined me.
I felt him smile against the top of my head. "It's all about the location." He then laughed. "You're quite the little smartass, Bells." He yawned again and then whispered in my ear, "I like that."
I couldn't help but smile. At least he liked something about me.
"I guess I should go get Jess and head home."
I heard him inhale sharply and then clear his throat. He had been falling back asleep. I felt bad. His hand immediately flew to my back and rubbed wide circles. "Jess is fine. She's with Paul. He'll take care of her. You don't need to go. Plus, we didn't work out the when and where yet." He yawned once more and pulled me closer.
I did want to stay here in this nice toasty bed next to Jake but I didn't know if I should let Jess be alone too long. She'd probably be calling me soon anyway. "I don't know…."
"She's fine. He likes her. She'll be okay. Now, shut the hell up, Swan, and go to sleep like a good girl."
I gasped. He did know it was me. He knew the whole time!
He held me against him firmly so I couldn't escape. "Did you really think I didn't know it was you?" He whispered to my hair. "That I wouldn't recognize you the moment I saw you? B?"
I was absolutely horrified. "I….wasn't sure…."
"Um-hmm."
I slapped his chest. "Why didn't you say anything then?" I was livid and my humiliation made it worse.
"Shh, easy, honey. It didn't seem like you wanted me to. But, now, before we do this thing, I think we should come clean. Besides," I could hear the smile in his voice. "It was kind of fun, letting you think I didn't know who you were."
He then leaned down and ran his nose along my cheek. "Been a long time, huh?"
I bit my lip, uncertain how I felt about this new development. "Yeah."
He then moved me onto my back and hovered above me, staring down at me. "So, I'm gonna ask you again." His dark eyes held me immobile in their gaze. "Did you decide to ask me just because you heard about me and my mad skills or was there more to it?"
I glared up at him. "My, aren't we cocky?"
He smirked in response. "You have no idea." And then it slowly faded. "Answer the question, Bells."
"Why is it so important to you? I thought you said you didn't want a relationship or to know anything about me."
"I don't want a relationship. And I meant what I said, but I do want to know this one thing. Was it a factor, Bells? Is that what you meant when you said you knew you could trust me?"
I bit my lip in thought but then nodded once.
He kissed me before laying his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath.
"Twelve years is a long time, honey. We have a lot of catching up to do."
I stared up at him in confusion. "Wait, didn't you just say you didn't want to know anything about me or know that I exist? Didn't you just agree when I reiterated it?"
His eyes opened and he smile down at me. "As a girlfriend, Bells. I don't do commitment. But a friend with certain benefits, now that I might be able to handle. So, tell me, how's college life treating you so far?"
I narrowed my eyes up at him and he freaking laughed at me.