Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

DISTANT MEMORIES:

Montague backed away from Helen; his instincts on overdrive to get away from her, to protect her. There was that slight twinge of knowledge that he would end up hurting her. "I don't want to hurt you." He confessed drawing in a ragged shaky breath to fill his lungs. The wolf inside of him howled in rage at moving away, but the human in him had to be cautious. With no memory of what he could do it was hard to tell how to proceed with a woman who was becoming so important to him. "But I want…"

"What?" Helen took a small step closer to him, "Tell me what you want." She knew this man before her; the face, the body, the tone of his voice. But the actions, the mannerisms were all wrong.

"I want to reach out to you, to touch you, to caress your cheek, and I want to kiss you; to just bury my nose in your hair. I don't know why and I fear that I will hurt you in some way if I do any of that." Montague turned from her and gripped the edge of the sink. The urges he had towards her were so strong that he was having a hard time fighting against them. "I don't know why I feel this way for you, I don't even know you."

Helen felt her heart clutch in her chest. The man standing before her was a man she had loved for well over a century and he didn't even know who she was. Yet he wanted to hold her, to kiss her. She held out her arms to him. Helen knew he could see her reflection in the mirror. "Montague, you can hold me if you want." It was what she wanted too. Helen wanted his arms around her.

Montague turned to her, looked at her open arms, and wanted to go to her. His human mistrust flared to life, "Why? I'm supposed to be a man who tormented you. Why would you grant me this?" Backing away his body started to shake; his skin cried out for hers and he didn't understand why. Montague sank down to his knees not looking at her. The wolf inside of him howled out in rage. The wolf wanted to go to the woman before him. The wolf wanted to have her against him. It was the human who was wary.

Helen sank to her knees moving slowly over to Montague, "Look at me," She reached out to him touching his shoulder. "I want you to hold me." That was the truth. Helen held out her arms to him again, her fingers lightly touching the strands of his hair. "Please…" John moved into her arms, his face burying in her hair. All at once her heart, her body, came alive with feeling. She tried to still his shaking body with running her hands up and down his back. 'Oh John…'Helen thought. This man was not the man of her nightmares, he was different. That much she could see. It made her heart break to see him so confused, so untrusting, so unsure of himself. How had this happened? Who did it? Helen would find that out and reverse it.

Montague felt all of the strength leave his body, his defenses crumble, as he fell into her arms. It was wrong and he knew it but he couldn't stop; didn't want to stop. All he wanted was the feel of her against him whatever the cost. His body stopped shaking. His mind settled. The mind numbing uncertainty faded away with just the scent of her. "I don't know who I am and that scares me. But more than that, wanting you is all I can think about, and that scares me more than not knowing who I am." Montague confessed breathing her in. He wanted to fill his lungs with that intoxicating subtle rose scent.

"I'm scared of wanting you too," Helen admitted. And she was. Deep down the want had lessened; the yearning for his touch had slowed to a simmer rather than a raging boil. Seeing him like this now made the old wants flare to life, the hunger stronger. John was a new man; he was Montague. He remembered nothing of his old life, of the crimes he committed. But she did. Was that enough, his memory loss, to let him back into her life and into her heart again? So far she had no answers. "I will help you."

"What if I don't want to be the man you remember?" Montague asked shifting a fraction of an inch closer to her warmth. Oh how he wanted her. He wanted to lie with her forever. Why? Over and over he asked that of himself and still he had yet to find an answer. Montague could never imagine tormenting a creature such as Helen. She was too kind to him, too willing to help him. She had fed him and given him a change of clothes. It would be the worst thing ever to turn on her, to betray her.

"Then who do you want to be?" Helen asked. John had stopped shaking, his voice had evened out, and his breathing returned to normal. If just touching her made him calmer, what else would she have to do to help him?

"I want to be me," Montague answered resting his temple on her shoulder. He watched the way her dark rich brown curls moved as she breathed in and out. It made him wonder what his hair would look like fanned out on a pillow next to hers. "I feel so stable being close to you." He muttered. "The wolf is calmer when you're around. He's never been like that before."

"You were always a touch junkie before, now I guess I know the reason behind it." Helen replied. She ran her hand down the back of his hands feel the damp strands of his hair. As much as she wanted to, Helen couldn't stay on the bathroom floor all evening. "Montague, we have to get up." He pulled back from her and the uncertainty returned to his eyes. "I have work to do and the floor is going to get cold soon. Not very comfortable," She smiled when he did. It was good to smile at him again

"It feels good to touch you," It was the truth. Montague didn't want to stop, but now that she mentioned the cold, he could feel it creeping in. He pulled back from her, stood, and offered her his hand to help her up. It actually surprised him when she took his hand.

Helen took John's offered hand and pulled herself up to stand. "Any time you feel nervous or uncertain I want you to tell me ok?" If there was anything that she could do for him then she would. As much as she had wanted John out of her life, Montague presented himself as a man in need of help, of protection, and she would give that to him.

"What difference would it make?" He asked with the growl creeping into his voice again. She was risking so much for him. Montague could tell that much. Helen was forcing herself to be near him, to hold him. He sensed it. That alone hurt him. Helen was making herself help him and he didn't know why.

"It makes all the difference to me when I can help." She added. Helen reached out and started to button the buttons of his shirt, but she only did the bottom three. "There, all better." She didn't want to cover up his beautiful expanse of skin, but she had to if she was going to have any luck at focusing at all. In the months that he had been gone John had gotten most defined; most of which she had noticed in his abs with the light splashing of a six pack that she could see.

"Covering me up is better?" Montague teased leaning over her to catch one more whiff of her scent. He could breathe her in for hours on end. Helen was a drug that he wanted to be addicted to for eternity. Already she was so ingrained in his body.

"For my staff," Helen answered. "But not for me. If I could have my way you would be wearing nothing but that towel." That garnered a deep rumbling growl from John and it made Helen laugh. Why was she acting like this? It was all new with John again. How could she not enjoy this for as long as it lasted?

"Be still your wicked tongue woman," Montague nipped her jaw line in a playful manner. He stepped back, "As you said you have work and I feel I can distract you." Motioning to the door he waited for her to leave so he could follow her. Montague wanted to watch her walk in that short skirt she was wearing. It was enticing to see the fabric working over her thighs. Evil, sensual, ideas were filling his head that had his hands slipping that skirt up revealing the milky cream flash of her legs. Those legs would torment him tonight in his dreams. That alone made him growl in delight.

HELEN'S OFFICE:

"I wonder what new perilous mission the doc will send us on?" Kate asked in general to her friends, and Tesla, gathered in the Doc's office. Last night she had heard that eerie howl. But when she had gone to investigate, she had found nothing and thought it might have been one of the residents.

"Might not even be a mission," Henry suggested as he sat on the couch. He had had a bad feeling since the eerie howl he had heard last night. It had set him on edge and made him wonder what it had been. No resident in house would have made such a noise other than himself.

"Henry's right, it could be Magnus sending us on a week long vacation to Fiji." Will joked. After the events of the last months a vacation was not out of the question. He was in desperate need of time alone with Abby. She, currently, was across the country at Quantico for joint training with the CIA.

"You'll be surprised when you find out." Nikola swirled the red wine in his glass before taking a sip. The alcohol washed away the worst of his hunger for blood and the medication Helen had devised for him took care of the rest. Still there were days when he had that craving for human blood and he couldn't quite shake.

Helen heard what her team had said and resisted the urge to chuckle. John was with her at her side looking at the door like it would attack him any moment. Being bold, putting aside her mistrust, Helen took John's hand in hers and said quietly, "Montague, you're safe here. No one will hurt you."

"It's not me I'm concerned about. I'm worried about them, what I could do to them and you." Montague squeezed her hand quickly and then let go so she could walk into the door. She moved past him slowly and close enough that he was able to smell her again. The wolf, the beast he carried, calmed even more. It knew her, remembered her, where as the man stayed clueless. The wolf was reluctant to share its memories.

Helen walked through the door knowing that John wasn't following her. Aware of those already in the room she turned, leaned on the door jamb, and poked her head out into the hall again, "Come on," She crooked her finger at him with a smile on her face. "Don't make me whistle at you."

Montague angled his head at her with a wolfish grin playing out on him face. He stalked closer to her, "If you do that then I will have no choice but to eat you up" His voice went low, a growl rumbling in his chest as he snapped at her playfully. Straightening, Montague took the black hair tie from his hair and let his wet mass of midnight black hair tumble free over his shoulders. "Do I look presentable?" He asked knowing he wasn't.

"You look like you just walked off of a romance novel cover." If she wanted she could stand and stare at him all day. 'More like he just walked right out of one of your wicked fantasies.' A little voice hissed in her mind. It was true and she admitted it.

"As long as you look at me I'm happy." Montague brushed his index finger over her bangs waiting for her to make the next move.

"We should…" Helen trailed off moving back from the doorway and into her office where her team, and Tesla, was assembled. John lingered by the doorway. She turned to him as the tension level rose to new heights.

"Why are they staring at me?" Montague looked over all of them in turn and resisted the urge to leave the room or go to Helen. He had promised he would tell her when he was comfortable but he couldn't, not with people watching. Inside of him he wanted to reach out and take Helen's hand, lace their fingers together, and feel stable. He couldn't.

"When did he get here?" Will took a step towards Magnus but kept his eyes on Druitt. Even with the new look he didn't trust the other member of the five. Druitt had always been rather unpredictable, even more so when it came to Magnus.

Montague watched the younger man as he stepped towards Helen. Instinct had him moving in front of her where he barely restrained a growl of warning. He moved without thinking. No one came close to Helen unless he was sure she was safe. It was instinct, pure and simple. Helen was his main concern more so than getting his memories back. He growled again.

"No! It's alright," Helen put her hands on John's back. "Will's no threat to me or you." John stepped aside bowing his head. She wanted to take his hand, to calm him. Helen would have had the eyes of her team not been so firmly locked on her and John. To her team she explained, "The man beside me you all know as John Druitt, but that man no longer exists. Standing before you is Montague, an abnormal in need of our help. He arrived here last night with no memory and he was injured. I've already given him the Sanctuaries protection."

"Are we sure this is a good idea," Kate stepped next to Will looking at Druitt. "I mean he is Jack the Ripper. How do we know he's not going to kill us?"

Montague looked at Helen then, "You never said I was this Jack the Ripper." He moved even closer to her, breathing the same air. "I was a murderer?" Again the tension went up another level. No one moved a muscle.

"Montague, you are not a killer." Helen reasoned, "John was the killer…" She almost reached out to him to cup his face and keep his eyes locked with hers, but stopped herself. "You are not. You're different." This time she reached out to him and placed her hands on his shoulder and urged him down to the couch. She could feel a slight tremor go through him.

"He's really not faking it." Tesla took a good hard look at the man on the couch. It wasn't a proud sight. He felt ashamed and a little bit of empathy for what John was going through. It could have happened to either himself or Helen. Though, Nikola was a little relieved that it happened to Druitt. There was no telling what would Tesla would be like if it had happened to him.

"Faking what?" Henry looked around feeling clueless. He looked at Druitt and felt a familiar tingle that he ha only gotten around Erica. What had happened to Druitt? As far as he knew Druitt was a wolf and that made Henry nervous.

"He's lost his memory, all of whom and what John Druitt was no longer exists." Helen answered keeping her eyes on the man on the couch. He looked defeated, "The man before you is no killer." She said the last part with pride. Helen knew this to be true just by looking in his eyes, feeling his arms around her, having him rest his head against her shoulder. All of that was of a man who knew nothing of cold blooded murder.

"Sure…" Kate dragged the word laced in sarcasm, "Until he tries to kill us again."

"Kate," Helen turned to her, "He never tried to kill you. Punch you yes, but he never tried to kill you." She was defending him. Helen would always defend John.

"No, he just tries to kill you on occasion." Nikola spoke up setting his wine glass aside. He glared at Druitt.

"Oh great, I've tried to kill you too," Montague leaned back on the couch covering his face in disgust.

"Nikola Tesla!" Helen scolded sitting down next to John. "Montague, that was all John's doing, not yours," This time she put her hand on his thigh. He was a touch junkie. He needed it.

Against what he knew the people in the room expected, Montague drew his knees up against his chest and leaned his forehead down. "The more I find out about myself, the more I hate myself or who ever I'm supposed to be." This time he issued a sign with a light growl mixed in.

"Oh, geez…" Kate ran her hand through her hair, "He really is different…"

Montague growled and bolted off the couch. He went to stand before the window trying to tune out all that was being said. She had faith in him. Helen was defending him and all he could think of was; why? There was no good reason for her to defend him. He tormented her, had tried to kill her. He deserved to die for that.

"I guess you can't take the truth Johnny boy." Tesla gloated past the shame he was feeling.

Montague turned, growling, and wrapped his hand around Tesla's throat. If they wanted him to be a killer then he would start with Tesla. It seemed only fitting. "Is this what you want? The killer you want?" Montague shouted slamming Tesla into the wood paneled wall next to the window. "Then I will oblige you."

"Helen…" Nikola choked out feeling his windpipe getting crushed.

"Montague let him go… please." Helen rushed around the couch and wrapped her hand and John's wrist gently. "Don't kill him, it won't do any good." At her words Montague let go of Nikola and the arrogant vampire fell to the floor coughing.

He leaned against the wall looking at what he had nearly done. What kind of monster was he? Montague banged the back of his head on the wall. "I can't believe I did that." He looked at Helen, she tried to reach out to him, but he wouldn't let her. "Don't!"

Helen held up her hands, "Alright, I won't touch you." She looked at Kate, Henry, and Will, "Could you leave us alone please." They all nodded and as quickly as they could, they left. Helen locked her eyes on John again, "It's not your fault."

"Not his fault?" Nikola coughed, "He nearly crushed my windpipe."

Helen rounded on Nikola, "You provoked him and that was what you get for that!" she shouted. "I warned you and you did not listen."

Montague turned towards the window, resting his head on the glass. A glinting caught his eyes making him focus on it. Someone was out there but they weren't focusing on him. Instincts going on alert, Montague looked at Helen. There was a red laser dot right on her chest. His body reacted, throwing himself in front of her as glass shattered and pain exploded in his right shoulder. All that mattered was keeping Helen safe.

Helen heard the glass shatter a second before she went crashing to the ground with John's weight on top of her. Reacting she wrapped her arms around him, her hands encountered blood. She stayed low angling her body over John looking for the wound. It was in the middle of his right shoulder; the skin around the wound having a spider web of grey lines working out from the wound. "No, Montague!" Helen screamed in her head; she wasn't sure if she screamed his name out loud. She held pressure to the wound. All that did was make him cry out in pain.

Nikola was still on the floor rubbing at his throat when the glass shattered and a gun shot rang out. John growled in pain and Nikola smelled blood. Moving away from Helen and John he moved to the window barely lifting his head to peak out. Nothing was there. He stood up and waited, again nothing happened. "It's all clear." Nikola announced turning back to Helen and John. The blood he had smelled was blossoming all over John's back, but there was also a different smell to it. Not human.

"Nikola, I need your help…. Please!" Helen pleaded holding her hands to the wound.

Montague couldn't breathe. His whole body was on fire. "Si…l….ver…" He managed to say. It was working to fast. It was in is blood.

Helen looked down at John, "What? Montague, stay with me." She never handled the sight of John's blood very well. Blood never made her queasy, John's blood made her worry.

"It's…. sil…ver" Montague choked out. "I… need…. Antigen…. AG…." His body would start convulsing soon. It was already starting to burn.

"Nikola, do you know…?" Helen shook her head. John wasn't going to die. She had to focus. "The wound wasn't a through and through, so that means the bullet is still in there. Nikola can you… ummm… dig it out?"

"Yeah," Nikola nodded lengthening his claws. "Hold him down." To John he spoke, "This is going to hurt." He dug his claws into the bullet wound and felt for the silver bullet that was in there. John barely screamed. A few minutes of feeling blood, muscle, skin, and tendons Nikola felt he metal of the bullet. It took him two tries to fish it out of his skin. Nikola grasped the bullet and brought his claws out of the wound. When he looked at the bullet, the blood coating it had smoke coming off of it.

The door burst with a blond woman coming through the door closely followed by Will. "You can't go in there!" Will shouted and the woman only growled at him. She moved away from Will and over to Helen and John.

Helen put her hands on John's wound to help stop the bleeding, "Who are you? How did you get into my house?" she growled out her words almost sounding like John.

"My name is Astrid and I can help him." she pulled out a small gold tube pulling it apart. "He's been poisoned with silver this will help him I promise." Without waiting she exposed Montague's neck sinking the barb home in the flesh releasing the antigen that would clean the silver out of his blood.

"What did you give him?" Helen demanded of the blond with the Romanian accent. She didn't trust this Astrid.

"I gave him antigen AG. It was developed so long ago for our people who encounter silver." Astrid handed over the case she had. "Here, if he is going to stay here then you will need this." Idly she fingered one of Montague's braids.

"Who are you?" Will demanded coming to stand behind his boss and closest friend.

"My name is Astrid and as you must know now I am Romanian, from Bucharest." She answered rising to her feet. "Montague will be fine now. His wound is already healing."

"Why help him?" Nikola asked going to stand next to the latest person to grace the Sanctuary.

Astrid looked at Montague as the grey spider webs began receding from his body, his breathing evened out, and the bleeding stopped. "You would not understand human." She turned her gaze on him and curled her lip in a snarl. "I am forbidden from discussing it with some like you."

"Astrid." Montague growled levering himself up putting his face very close to Helen. "Don't say anything else." He ordered getting to his feet. Montague swayed, dizziness setting in. Helen braced her hands on his chest.

Astrid went down on one knee and bared the right side of her neck brushing her hair aside. It was the wolf's sign of respect for an alpha and leader. Montague was such a leader, or at least she hoped he would be. "My lord, I am glad I found you in time."

"My lady, I told you not to follow me." Montague motioned for her to get up by offering her his hand, "But I thank you all the same." He smiled at Astrid. She alone he remembered and he wasn't sure why. Montague felt a familiar bond to her; she was family. "It is good to see you cousin."

Helen breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding. John had spoken to Astrid so fondly that for a minute she thought the other woman might have been his lover. But then he had called her 'cousin' and Helen breathed easier. "You're really his cousin?" She asked. John looked at her with eyes pleading her not to continue.

"I am a descendant of his father's brother, so yes; I am his cousin by blood." Astrid answered. That was all she would feel comfortable answering with while Montague watched her so closely. She had no wish to break the laws of the pack.

"That was 160 years ago; certainly the blood tie has been diluted a little bit." Nikola interjected. In unison Astrid and John growled at Nikola. He was smart enough to know when to back up.

Montague swayed again, his body demanded that he sleep. Helen was there at his side, her arms going around his waist. "I think I need to sleep."

"I think you do too." Helen agreed and brought John's arm across her shoulders. His body slumped against hers. She knew he was fighting just to stay standing.

"Aren't we going to deal with this?' Nikola protested. He wanted to know what kind of trouble Druitt was in so he could get far enough away from it. Tesla was tempted to leave as it was.

"Later!" Helen snapped going with John to the door.

JOHN'S BEDROOM:

Montague, with Helen's aide, fell into his bed. The bleeding had stopped and his body started to heal. In sleep he would be whole again. But he couldn't seem to make his arms let go of Helen. She made him stable, allowed him to be calm and reply on the wolf inside of him. "Don't go please…" John pleaded in a ragged whisper nuzzling the side of her neck for more comfort. She called him a touch junkie and that was exactly what he was. He was addicted to her touch. Montague had only met her today, but to her John knew her for well over a century. Would he ever get his memories, his personality back? Did he really want them back?

Helen settled in with John tangling her legs with his. She had to hike up the edge of her skirt to allow for better movement. John draped his right arm over her waist and pillowed his head right above her heart. This left her hands free to tangling in his blood stained hair. Why was it whenever they were together one or both of them ended up with blood on them? It boggled her mind. But this time it was John's blood, not some enemy or innocent bystander. It was his and that had terrified her. Still she could lie tangled in his arms with blood on her hands, on her clothes, and she felt completely normal. What did that say about her? Was she damaged in some way? Was she more like John than she wanted to admit?

"I'm sorry I nearly got you shot." Montague mumbled trying to stay awake. He didn't want to give into sleep, didn't want to stop feeling her against him. When he was with her his memory loss didn't seem as bad as it was. Yes, he remembered his cousin and some elements of his wolf life, but it was all hazy. Montague just didn't want to remember when he could be with Helen as he was now. She was willingly comforting him even after he nearly got her shot.

"I've been shot at before. It's nothing new." Helen stoked John's hair, running the strands through her fingers. He would have to take another shower to get the blood out of his hair. It would start to clump together soon as it dried.

Montague would have sat up, only his body ached so much, "But I was the reason and I can't get past that." The guilt was setting in and that would eat him alive. Some how he knew he couldn't live if something happened to Helen. At least she was safe, he had acted and taken the silver bullet for her, and now she was here with him, holding him and stroking his hair. It all felt so good.

"Montague, you saved me and…" Helen leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "I'm not angry at you." She would have expected to be furious at him but she wasn't. Once again John had brought his problems to her door. Helen would have told John, if he had his memories, to solve the problem by himself. This John, Montague, was oddly vulnerable despite the strength he projected, and that got through all of her defenses she had built up against John in the last century.