Ok, so I didn't get a HUGE response from the first chapter but that's okay. Hopefully it's just because it's snuck by unnoticed, and not that everyone thinks it sucks. So, here is chapter two. Not as long as the first one but not just a filler chapter either. I am not sure just how long this story will be, but it will most likely just be a few more chapters, five or six at the most. My ADD doesn't allow me to go much beyond that. It's the same reason why I've been trying to write my novel for almost 7 years now, and why I've decided poetry is much more my speed. (Requires a shorter attention span.) For those of you who are reading, I do hope you like this because I am having a good time writing it. I'm trying to throw a little humor in with all the angsty-ness. (I love using that whole "artistic license" thing and making up words. My girlfriend says I shouldn't do it, but I think it's kinda fun!) In case you can't tell by now, I can be quite the rambler because I'm somewhat of a spaz, but I've been told it's an endearing quality. I think someone lied to me…
Anywho… on with the story!
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Ouch. Chris reached up and placed a hand to his forehead. Sleeping on the floor was so not a good idea. Stupid alcohol, he thought as he struggled to his feet. Stupid tabloid, he grumbled as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. Stupid Darren. He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. Granted he'd only fallen asleep for a couple of hours, but he looked like hell. His cheeks were blotchy and red, and his eyes closely resembled the road maps on his Garmin. His hair was a sight to behold, but he couldn't bring himself to care about any of that or anything else, for that matter. He looked down at the counter and saw two toothbrushes in the cup, and the waterworks started all over again.
"Damn you, Darren Criss. Why did you make me fall in love with you?" He knew it sounded stupid and pathetic to blame his own feelings on someone else, but he had to blame someone. It wasn't his fault Darren was so cute and sweet and funny and charming and kind and…
"OH MY GAWD, SHUT UP!" Chris screamed at no one in particular, clamping his hands over his ears as he hurriedly left the bathroom. He was quite sure he looked ridiculous and that his behavior would most likely lead to a 72 hour hold in the local psych ward, but again he didn't care.
Chris groaned as he heard his cell phone ringing. Let the media circus begin, he thought as he waived his arms grandly. He chuckled darkly at his own behavior. Had he really managed to turn into the consummate lover scorned that quickly? Maybe there was still a little bit of the booze running through his veins. He trudged back to the kitchen and scowled at the offending object as it danced on the counter. Chris looked down at the display and rolled his eyes. Ryan. Great. Preparing himself for the fight of the century, he snatched the phone off the marble slab, only to fumble it and watch as it crashed helplessly and loudly to the floor.
"Ugh!" After his almost Kurt-like sigh of exasperation and stopping of his foot, he reached down and grabbed the phone which had now fallen silent. His emotions were mixed about the new silence in the room. A quite phone meant not dealing with a screaming and most likely super pissed off Ryan, which was good, but it also meant Chris couldn't demand Ryan to tell him why Darren had to be fired. Wrinkling his nose up, Chris knew the answer to that question without even asking it. IF the show was threatened, then they would have to do damage contro. Chris was Ryan's golden boy and his number one right now. Everyone knew that if Chris was fired, it would be the end of Glee. Granted Darren would be missed, but it would be much easier to replace Kurt's boyfriend than to replace Kurt. Right now, the logical and rational side of his brain told him that there had to be something he could do to convince Ryan and the others to keep Darren., but the completely irrational other side of his brain was telling him his life was officially over and it was too late and he would never be able to go back in his bathroom again because of that damn toothbrush holder. So maybe I'm being a little dramatic. So what? Deciding to just bite the proverbial bullet, Chris dialed Ryan's number and felt his stomach do somersaults with each ring. He was about to chicken out and hang up when he heard a click.
"What the hell were you two thinking?"
"You know, standard phone etiquette states that you say "hello" when answering the phone," Chris snapped back before realizing he really wasn't in the position to be bitchy. He was about to apologize but was interrupted.
"Listen, Chris." Far be it from Ryan to beat around the bush. Go straight to for the kill was his motto. "I'm not one to pry into your guys' personal lives and I know there was the whole "no sex" thing but I also know how hard it's been for you to fit in and since-."
"But that's the problem!" Chris squeaked, his turn to interrupt. "There's been no sex. In fact," Chris began but stopped. The pause in his sentence seemed to carry on forever until he finally finished in one quiet breath. "Darren doesn't know how I feel about him."
The line was silent for what seemed like hours. Once again, Chris could feel his eyes start to burn but he refused to let the tears come back again as he realized he had spoken those words out loud for the first time. Now here he was on the verge of tears again. He was a man, for crying out loud, and men didn't cry. Especially three times in one day. He was already well over his yearly quota for pity parties.. He would just have to suck it up, no matter how much it hurt. He was an actor, and a damn good one at that. He could fake his way through this with no problem. In fact, he was sure his performance would be so good it would earn him an Oscar.
"Oh, Chris…" Ryan's voice sounded so defeated and sad that Chris felt his chest clench in response. He sat down at the kitchen table and rested his head in his free hand as he prepared to hear the "you're a great guy and all but you really have got to stop falling for your very straight co-stars and costing them their careers" speech, but in his own defense, this was the first time one of his one-sided crushes had cost someone something other than a little embarrassment as they fumbled through the "I'm really flattered but we play for different teams" reply. Much to Chris's surprise, Ryan's speech never came. All he could hear was a sigh coming from the older man. Obviously there was something more to all of this.
"Ryan? What's going on? Why do I feel like I'm missing the most important chapter of the novel?" Chris asked nervously, nit sure if he was ready to hear the answer.
"I talked to Darren and he told me," Ryan took a deep breath before he continued. The pause spoke volumes to Chris. Oh dear gawd, don't say it. Please Ryan, don't say it. Don't friggin say it. "He told me he was in love with you, and that as much as it killed him to leave, he understood our decision. He realized that his whole 'I'm straight now I might be gay' debacle would only bring both of you down, and he says he loved you too much to watch your career go up in flames. I mean think about it Chris. While most people are okay with the relationship between Kurt and Blaine, they know those two were gay from day one. Imagine how people will react if they find out that a man who had come out as straight suddenly decided to change his mind. All the right-wing nut jobs in the world would have a field day with that one. They'd swear up and down you had converted him. Darren says he doesn't want to put you in that position, no matter how painful it is.
If the train of his life was on rusty tracks before, it was now officially derailed. The only man Chris had ever truly loved and could see himself with for more than just a few years, and had actually loved him back, was gone. Once again, karma had kicked him right square in the balls. Oh Darren. Why did you feel like this is something you had to decide on your own? Don't you know I'm a big boy and can handle myself? Chris knew Darren was only trying to protect him like he always has, but this time Chris was certain this pain was far worse than anything the media or anyone else could have dished on him.
"Chris." Ryan snapped him out of his thoughts and brought him back down to earth. "I'm really sorry about all of this. I wish there was something I could do to fix all this, but I can't. That's up to you and Darren, and he seems determined to run. If you do happen to see him, tell him I wish him all the luck in the world, and that despite what went down with the show I'm sure he'll be crazy successful in whatever it is he chooses to do."
"I'll be sure to tell him," Chris replied quietly before hanging up the phone. Letting out an angry scream, he threw the phone across the room, which shattered against the wall. He laid his head down on the table and studied the wooden pattern up close. Now what?
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I hope you guys like this chapter. Please feel free to leave me a note and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!