To Love & Conquer
Chapter II - Immortal Burdens
The large diamond on the tooth box flickered, but the other small shapes neither twirled nor unfolded to reveal the memories beneath. The box did not glimmer, and it did not envelop Jack in a golden light.
It would not open.
Jack's dark brows furrowed and he brushed the diamond again. He tried repeatedly with all his fingers, even smacked the box against his elbow, but the answers to his mysteries remained sealed.
His groaned echoed in the frozen landscape as his bright eyes darkened fleetingly ... but he knew there was no hope in anger. Maybe there is nothing I haven't seen, he thought dejectedly.
"I just want to know her name, is that too much to ask for?" he burst out, but the box still would not respond. He frowned, disappointed. He had been sure there was more to his past life than what he had seen before.
A wave of nausea came upon him and Jack leaned back against the base of the tented roof. He closed his eyes as drowsiness fought to consume him. Going to the gathering below him was out of question, as his body now yearned for the sleep it had been deprived of for several nights. Jack's mind soon slipped out of consciousness and was willing to give in at last, when his tooth box slipped out of his ivory hand, sliding down the roof with a loud grinding that startled him alert.
"No!" He flung himself forward and reached out to grab it, but his fingertips brushed against the box and sent it flying off the roof, down to the chasm below the workshop.
Jack's dived after it, but he wavered when he suddenly heard a dull clang! and a sharp cry.
Toothiana emerged from below with dazed, light violet eyes. Jack struggled to a halt at the edge of the dome roof, nearly colliding with the confused fairy, and his heart stopped at the sight of his tooth box in her hand.
"Jack? What––ow ..." Toothiana mumbled as she rubbed her head, smoothed her rustled feathers, and blushed despite herself. "You dropped this." She handed him his box and he took it gingerly.
"Sorry, Tooth," he said sheepishly. "I was just resting my eyes up here ... and I guess the box slipped out of my pocket."
Toothiana gave her head a rough shake and looked down at the box in his hand. "Or," she said slowly, her long lashes hiding the sadness in her eyes, "the box didn't respond to your touch when you wanted to see the rest of your past life."
A silence fell between them, and they hovered in the biting wind until Jack nodded.
Toothiana's crown feather drooped as she took his hand. "Come with me. We need to talk," she said, and led him off the roof and into the workshop. Once they opened the doors and flew in, blaring music flooded their ears as North tried to teach Bunnymund and Tooth's fairies a Russian folk dance. Jack and Toothiana paused in the shadow of a pillar and they watched Bunnymund trip over an elf and collide into Sandman. Glass shattered and Sandman looked downcast at his spilt eggnog.
"Ah!" North cried out and the music scratched to a stop. "Sandy! Lick that eggnog off of carpet!"
The Sandman shrugged with a far gone grin and dropped to floor, a row of elves eagerly joining him. Jack snickered and began walking towards the torchlight and the gathering but Toothiana held him back, steering him instead down two stories and into North's office. Toothiana shut the oak door and fluttered in place for a moment, before turning around to face a puzzled and slightly wary Jack.
"Jack, your box won't open because there's nothing in there that can help you with your problems," she told him outright.
Jack lifted a brow. "Problems? No, I'm fine," he shrugged and gave Tooth a white smile. "I was just curious to see the rest of my past. I thought it would be a good idea to get a whole image of what I'm leaving behind ... before I start my guardian life."
Toothiana shook her head. Even in his distress, Jack held an allure that made her want to believe him––to trust that nothing could ever be wrong with him. But she had seen people in his position before, holding answers in their hands and believing it would help them.
She had to find a way to make him see otherwise, because some memories are better left forgotten.
"You can't lie to me, Jack," she told him gently, "not when it comes to childhood memories. Any tooth box I've ever made will only show the memories someone needs to see most. If what you're saying were true, the box would help you. Showing you anything and everything is easy, but something in particular is another story. What you think you want to see might not be what you really need."
Jack averted his eyes and spun his staff in his hands. Toothiana floated closer, choosing her words carefully. "I want to help you, but first you need figure out what it is you're really looking for. Start with telling me what the box has shown you before."
The slim guardian sighed. "The first time I opened the box, I saw my sister and what had happened to me. She and I were on the pond ice when it began to crack under our feet. I managed to get her to a safe patch, but I fell in. The ice froze over, the moon changed me into Jack Frost, and then I woke up. What I wanted this time was to know who my family were––"
"Look deeper, Jack. What you really want is to know what happened to them after you died," Toothiana clarified with a heavy heart.
Jack blinked, stunned. "Yeah ... I guess that's it. How did you––"
His voice broke as Toothiana put her hands on his shoulders. "Your tooth box can't show you anything beyond your death. If you wanted to see your sister, I or a mini fairy would have to open your sister's tooth box for you."
Jack backed away in disbelief, his ignorance encircling him. His eyes lowered to the ground and he groaned. "I'm so ... Why didn't I think of that?" he exclaimed, his eyes darting this way and that. He approached her, leaning forward earnestly. "Tooth, that solves everything. Would you do that for me?"
Toothiana looked away, and his brows lowered in bewilderment. "... Tooth?"
She dropped to the ground, her wings going limp against her back. "I'm sorry, Jack," she said in an undertone. "I shouldn't have told you that. I want to help you, believe me ... but I can't."
I'm such a rotten tooth, she criticized herself. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut?
Jack looked down at her and felt hopelessness creeping back in. "Why not?"
"We're immortal, Jack," she answered softly, fiddling with an ice bicycle on the floor. "If you were to see your sister's memories, whatever they hold, you'll only put yourself through an eternity of sadness."
Jack shook his head and gripped his staff. "No, you don't know that––"
"I don't?" Toothiana suddenly cried, dropping the ice sculpture and shattering it. Her wings beat erratically and lifted her up to his level. "Even you know what you'd find. Bloody cuspids, Jack," she cursed, "your sister watched you fall into the ice and drown for saving her! Her childhood memories are sad. Unhappy childhoods happen more often than you think, and it's hard for my fairies and I to help kids remember happiness when their pasts are ruined by tragedy."
Toothiana's voice suddenly quieted, and her throat made a weak hiccough. "Your sister will be no different ... I'm sorry," she whispered, and she felt tears fighting to emerge. "I can't do it, because I know it'll only hurt you."
Jack stood motionless in the center of the room, his heart alive yet stopped. With his lips pressed together, he dropped his staff, and sank slowly to the ground. He breathed out but no words come, his gaze was fixed on the stone floor.
Toothiana sat in front of him, lifting his ice cold staff and returning it to him. "That's the thing with being a guardian," Tooth murmured with a sniffle. "We all need to understand that our pasts happened so we could become what we are. Beyond that, we have to let it all go, for the children ... and for our own sakes."
Jack gave a faint nod, the air around him so cold that their breaths turned to snow. The small beads of ice fell onto the floor between them and slowly melted on the stone.
Toothiana hoped she had not just broken his spirits.
"... Jack," she muttered after a long silence, "I want to apologize for what I said about your sister's memories. I shouldn't have been so heartless."
The novel guardian shook his head and met her eyes. "No, I needed to hear that ... Thanks for looking out for me."
Tooth's face suddenly fell apart and she pulled Jack into a hug. But before he could hold her, she let go with a shudder. "Y-you're so cold, Jack ... more than usual. It's almost as if you're––" her eyes widened and she stifled her gasp with a hand to her mouth.
"Dead cold?" he finished for her in a bittersweet voice.
Toothiana nodded, no longer looking at him. Her gaze was fixed instead on the door. Her tail feathers began to rustle and Jack gave her an odd look. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, just fine," she said absently. She broke into a flight and dashed straight for the door, only to stop and turn around for a moment. "I have an idea. Wait here, get some rest, and we'll come get you when we're finished."
Jack stood up and leaned against his staff. "Finished what?" he asked, but Toothiana had already shut the door behind her, leaving Jack alone in the dark office.
Toothiana soared up to the top floor, flew to the great room, and found North and Bunny fast asleep by the fireplace. Sandy floated dreamily above them, moving to a soothing waltz with an invisible partner. Toothiana clapped her hands loudly, pulling Sandy out of his eggnog-induced trance.
"That's enough, Sandy," she tried to say calmly. "Please wake them."
Sandman nodded curiously, swatting away the sand hovering above the heads of the snoring guardians. The pair shifted and briefly opened their eyes before falling back asleep. Sandy rolled his eyes.
Toothiana brought her fingers to her lips and blew, her whistling startling the two comatose guardians to life. They glanced up at the Tooth Fairy, whose eyes were glowing a brilliant violet. "Lights on, gentlemen!" her voice chimed. "We have an important event to plan that's been long overdue. North, get up and gather your elves. They'll need to change into something black, and so will anyone else who wears clothes. Bunny, go gather some flowers. I want them to be beautiful and nowhere near cheerful. Sandy––"
"Hold your ear bashing, Tooth," Bunnymund interrupted grouchily. "What sort of event is this?"
Toothiana dropped down to meet his eyes. She couldn't help but smile at her ingenuity. "It'll be a funeral, for Jack." The other guardians quickly crowded her, eyes full of confusion. Toothiana gazed upward and hoped they would understand.
"Why does Jack need funeral? He's not dead," North stated blatantly.
"You're mad as a hatter," Bunnymund said to her outright. "Unless you're planning to meet the Grim R––"
"Quiet, Bunny!" North shouted, clasping a large hand over the rabbit's mouth.
"Do not speak name of he who rules the dead," North ordered in a hushed tone as he cast fleeting glances at each shadow in the room. Sandman nodded gravely and he, too, looked around to be sure they had not just summoned the Grim Reaper.
Bunnymund rolled his eyes and swiped away North's hand. "Alright, rack off," Bunnymund grumbled, taking his turn to check the shadows. "I was just saying that he loves funerals. If you have one, he's bound to show up, whether you say his name or not."
Toothiana's wings fluttered defiantly. "I'm not crazy, E. Aster Bunnymund," she argued, "and I'm pretty sure he only comes around when someone is truly dead. Jack just needs to lay his old life to rest before he can move on with eternity as a guardian. I'm going to arrange his funeral, and you are all going to help me."
Her fellow guardians gazed at each other, doubtful, but then Sandy shrugged and formed a sand candle above his head. Toothiana beamed, nodding at his proposal, and her wings went back to their restless beating as the guardians agreed to scatter and gather preparations.
Toothiana could only hope Jack would agree to this.