Author's Note: Sorry this took forever. Irma took away are power for over 48 hours, I'm looking for a job, and my mom is finally getting a divorce. So, yeah, life has been hectic. This is basically half a chapter, I'm going to start writing a book so in order to update more than twice a year; I'm going to be shorting my chapters a bit.

Master Shorty 11, Thank you for the review! But doctor and nurse are both gender neutral terms. It's kind of hard to explain the difference between the two since there are lots of different kinds of nurses and doctors. The best way I can explain it is the doctor being the head (makes most of the decisions and is usually the one to make a diagnosis) and the nurse being the limbs (does most of the dirty work). But seriously, thank you for the review.

Chapter 2

She woke gasping for air, shivering and covered in a cold sweat. Aminah didn't realize that she was sitting up until a now all too familiar pain tore its way down her abdomen. She wanted nothing more than to cry, but the girl had nothing but her pride left. So, she reined them in.

"Who's Christophe?" Aminah flinched at the voice, then swung her head in its direction. Tending to the red headed boy was her nurse. He took his eyes off his patient to look at her.

"How do you know that name?" She stammered.

"You wouldn't stop crying out for him in your sleep. Is he a family member?" The nurse said so softly that it was hard for Aminah to believe that this was the same man she had spoken to when she first woke up. "If so, I we can inform him that you're here."

"No, he wasn't. But we were... close." That was all Aminah could bring herself to say. The nurse nodded and turned his attention back to the boy. She sank back into the bed and tried once more to get some sleep.

It took nine more days for Aminah to be discharged. Nine more tedious, torturous days of watching soldiers leave, which she so desperately wanted to do. And die, which she definitely didn't want to do. Four of those days she wasn't even allowed to sit up, which added to the inconceivably, irksome, humdrum of hospital 'life'.

She spent most of her time staring at the ceiling, listening to the other soldiers' moan and groan in pain; while she bared her own in silence, and watching the body count rise. In the first four days alone; she had counted eight dead. One of them was the red headed boy that had laid to her left. He had apparently died while she was asleep.

She had found that out on the fourth day. Aminah had rolled her head to the side only to be greeted by an empty bed. Upon seeing it; a hollowness overtook her, a feeling that she was unfortunately, well acquainted with. Although she knew what the answer would be and even though she dreaded it, Aminah had asked her nurse where the boy had gone. He confirmed that the boy had in fact died. Drowning within a never-ending sleep.

For reasons that would elude her, she cried for him. It wasn't much but still, she did. Odd, since she was never the kind of person who'd cry over strangers. So it baffled her as to why she cried for this one boy when she had seen countless corpses littered like garbage as a trainee.

To this day; Aminah still couldn't rid her mind of the images of hanged men and women trying to escape the so called 'reclamation of Wall Maria'. Death was something she had gotten used to at the age of thirteen, maybe that's why her tears felt so foreign.

There was nothing that made this boy; whom she knew nothing about, special. He was just another soldier, expendable, just like her and almost every other soldier alive, they were all just bodies being thrown at a never-ending war. But despite all of that he was human too and that at least had to count for something. Expendable; yes, but replaceable, no.

He must have had a family, at least at some point. And a name, it didn't matter whether she knew it or not. He had one like everyone else. Maybe she was choked up because she thought that he could have been saved, like those refugees. Why did they all have to die so senselessly?

Aminah didn't want to feel anything. Feeling made her weak. If she could encase her heart in ice and stone, she'd do it. But that was impossible and while being trapped in that bed; unable to turn a blind eye to the death around her made Aminah realize one thing. This war is futile.

No matter how sterile; the hospital constantly reeked of decay. She could practically smell the decomposition. It sickened her. All she wanted to do was leave that god forsaken place and run, run as far and as fast as she could until her legs gave out. And then scream till her voice died.

That's what she'd typically do under this much stress, but her body was far too broken to even walk properly at the time. So, she remained drifting in and out consciousness, trying to keep herself from going mad.

As each day passed, Aminah grew more and more furious at her body for not being stronger. Eventually even becoming angry at herself for just being in pain. Although they were such silly things to be mad about; they did mange wreak serious havoc in her mind. She couldn't allow herself to be weak. Not like before, not again, never again.

In the never-ending cycle of pain; Aminah would constantly wonder if the pain she'd been feeling was anything like what her father had experienced, as he laid stabbed, beaten, and alone. Aminah had thought a lot about him while in the hospital, she assumed that having nothing do but get lost in thought triggered it. She didn't want to think about him, whenever she did; it just caused her heartache and only made her feel hollow. She longed for guidance, she longed for a parent at her bedside. But her father was in the ground and her mother wasn't coming. She was too far away, and there were too many wounds to mend. Why? Why did I push her away?

There was no way for Aminah to temporarily escape the horrors around her. Even the alleged mercy of sleep gave her no relief. Each time she closed her eyes the titan was waiting for her. In every one of her dreams; it never attacked her. In fact, most of the time it would come no closer than a few meters, just staring at her with its hollow, dead blue eyes.

All Aminah wanted to do was go back home, to her real home. She missed the seemingly endless forest, the ever-changing river that could be silent one day and fiercely wild the next, the cool mountain air, and the foliage so brilliantly green that she still hasn't seen anything else that could compare. All she wanted to do was runaway to that house and hide. But there would be no going back, and she would have to face her demons eventually.

Too intimated to even think of attempting a conversation with the people next to her, Aminah remained isolated. Each day, she would desperately hope for Elisabeth to return. A ray of light in the darkness was much needed, but it never came.

The only upside to this situation, if there was one. Happened to be the only person she had to keep her company. It was the nurse who tended to her daily, the very same nurse who she had woken up to. Gustav was his name, he was a rather sarcastic man and had very dry sense of humor. He would come and change Aminah's bandages daily; and was even nice enough to clean the dried blood out of her hair. He'd also teach her about how to properly take care of her injures, which was important but he had the tendency to go on for too long and would often start complaining about some his colleagues.

At first these lectures and rants were quite irritating but in time they grew on her, to the point where she'd even look forward to hearing about whatever coworker had pissed him off that day. She had nothing else to pass the time, and her attachment was most likely do to Gustav being the only person who ever spoke a word to her. Although she hardly spoke to him he never seemed to mind, yet it wasn't in a 'glad you can keep your mouth shut' kind of way but instead; an understanding that some people are just not talkative.

Aminah was grateful for that. He showed no signs of dastan who she was, which made her feel slightly more comfortable; despite one nurse staring at her like she was the devil. Although he had given off an odd and even snide presence at first, it turned out that Gustav was actually pretty nice, if got on his good side. In a strange way, she would miss the odd nurse.

It was misty the morning Aminah was discharged. She sat outside the hospital with another soldier waiting for a buggy that the receptionist said would be there by eight. And to her disappointment, the ride would be added to her hospital bill. Apparently, protecting humanity doesn't earn you a discount.

It had been a frustrating morning, so when the buggy arrived; she couldn't be more relived. As Aminah went to pull herself up; her foot slid on the wet step, sending her backwards. She yelped, expecting to crack her head on the ground, but instead she collided with the soldier.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." She stammered while he supported her back to keep her falling on top of him.

"Don't worry about it." He said through labored breath. Aminah quickly pulled herself into the cart and extended a hand to the young man. He paused and looked a little surprised but accepted. She moved over to make room for him and he mouthed a 'thanks', she nodded in return.

"Where you two heading?" The driver asked.

"Garrison headquarters," the solider replied then turned to Aminah "You?"

"Same." The driver nodded and commanded the two horses onward. The soldier looked at her with curiosity. Aminah side eyed him, hoping to avoid a conversation.

"So, you're a soldier too?" He said.

"Yes" She stated bluntly, keeping her eyes locked on the bay roan horse on her side of the buggy.

"Are you new? I haven't seen you before." He seemed to say hesitantly. Aminah sighed, she knew that now there was no way to avoid a conversation without being rude. So, she pulled her eyes away from the horse and faced him.

"No, I have been serving for three years." The soldier mouthed an 'oh' in surprise. "How long have you been?" He looked slightly embarrassed at the question.

"A little over a year." He shrunk back in his seat. Aminah couldn't help but crack a small smile at the boy's embarrassment. He straightened himself back up and nervously smiled back. "I'll say, I didn't expect to nearly die so soon. Do cataclysmic events happen on a regular basis?" He joked.

"Only in the last two months." He chuckled at the facetious comment as she stole quick glances at his broken leg. She knew he probably wouldn't want to be asked about it, Aminah wouldn't want him asking about her injury either; so she just tried to be discreet.

For a moment, they sat in silence. Aminah wasn't sure if she wanted to make the attempt to continue their conversation, even though it was clear to her that he did. This boy seemed nice and was around her age, maybe she could make a new friend? Idiot, you know what happens when you try to get friendly with strangers. Aminah shook the nagging thought from her head.

She made up her mind, what a fool she was to think that someone like her could interact with the world like a normal girl. Aminah looked away from the boy, now wishing he'd force a conversation. But none came.

Aminah finally perked up at the sight of headquarters. So much so, that when the buggy stopped; she had to keep herself from impulsively jumping out. After the boy nearly faceplanted on his way down; Aminah slowly went to slide out of the buggy. Her feet slammed onto the ground and for a moment; she lost her balance, nearly toppling over. But she refused to show any weakness and stood firm.

Taking a moment to collect herself, she heard the crunch of the gravel as the buggy took off. Although the landing had winded her; Aminah was quite surprised that she wasn't in agony right now. At least that was one less thing for her to worry about now.

"I didn't catch your name earlier." Aminah nearly jumped out of her skin. Thankfully, it was only the boy.

"Neither did I. It's Aminah." He reached out his hand. Although hesitant, Aminah took the offer and shook his hand a bit too vigorously, only to feel embarrassed by her own overzealousness.

"Tom, well it was nice meeting you Aminah. Maybe… we'll see each other around."

"I'm sure we'll run into each other sooner or later, Chlorba is a small place in shrinking world. Besides, I'm easy to spot." She replied in a slightly sardonic manner. Before she could make any more self-deprecating remarks; the wind kicked up catching them in a lukewarm breeze.

"Okay, then see you around." Tom smiled, taking a step back. Brushing those dark brown curls out of his face, despite the wind's protests. Aminah merely waved and they both went their separate ways. She made her way down the gravel road kicking herself for not trying harder.

"Damn it."

When Aminah finally made it to the to the girl's barracks; she was sweaty, lightheaded and aching allover. The first thing she did once she entered that room was walk over to her bed and collapse on it. Burring her face in the pillow, she moaned at the familiar sent of dust. Though the brief euphoria it brought her was quickly spoiled by her own rancid sent.

Aminah groaned at the thought of moving, but she knew that a shower was the only way to remove the smell of rot and god knows what else from her body. So, she left for the showers and to her luck, no one else was present. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. As weak, filthy, and mutilated child. She ripped off the dingy hospital gown and peeled off her bandages then started the water. Aminah could care less about how cold it was, or how hard it was beating her tender flesh, all that mattered was washing away the lingering presence of death.

After removing the awful smell of decay, Aminah stepped out of the shower and approached the mirror. She stood before it, naked and fragile; seemingly waiting for judgment as if it were some omnipotent being watching her. Under its gaze she studied herself; a long body that she could feel weaken as each day passed, lying green eyes, and now a massive scar.

She didn't want to care, but she did. She never asked for a permanent reminder of the incident to be branded onto her body. It made her feel like someone had tried to steal her identity. It felt violating.

Disgusted, Aminah put her fresh clothes on and left the showers, feeling completely ashamed of herself.

Author's Note: For those who are curious, Aminah is half south Indian/what ever AOT's equivalent to south Indian people are and half white. She is also eighteen years old and 5'9/175.26.