Patricia's attention is focused on a razor. The gleaming metal weapon sits in her palm- as she continues to turn it over in her hands, contemplating the obvious. Should she cut? There's no point in thinking about it- it's quite obvious that the blade will be embedded in her skin- within a two-minute timespan.
It isn't like she started like this. She didn't just wake up one day with the thought- 'Oh, I know! Let me slice into my skin, and carve myself up like a Christmas ham!'. That never happened- but over time, the depression took over. It was mainly the feeling of worthlessness- as she believed- and still does believe- that Eddie could do so much better, if he wasn't forcing himself to be with her.
Eddie was one of the very few Americans at the school. Well, he and Nina, basically. He has so many opportunities- there are so many bitches that want to be his girlfriend. But instead, he picked her. And she doesn't even know why.
She needs to pull herself together- according to her parents- and she's not exactly sure how to do that. What does it even mean? Disregard her emotions, and continue on- pretending to be normal? She doesn't mind pretending- she's no stranger to acting- she's actually quite the good actress.
The blade gleams with release, and Patricia wants nothing more than that. But she thinks of Eddie, and his heartbroken expression- if he were to find out.
And that gives her the courage to refrain.
Nina bursts into their room, eyes wide- cheeks stained with tears. "Patricia!"
Patricia looks up, her eyes widening at Nina's pitiful appearance. "What's wrong?!"
"The boys," Niall whispers. "They were in a bad accident on the way to wherever they were going…"
Patricia's blood runs cold. She stands up so quickly, oxygen-deprived and terrified. It feels like Nina just knocked the wind out of her with a simple sentence. Eyes locked on her friend, Patricia pushes back burning tears, looking for answers. "What the hell happened?!"
Nina swallows hard, trying to calm her incessant shaking. "Someone ran a red light and slammed into them, which pushed them back into the car behind them. They're on their way to the hospital right now- Trudy was immediately called. She said we could leave right away."
"I…I'll be ready in a few minutes," Patricia chokes out; desperately praying she'll leave. She can't let Nina see her at her worst.
Patricia moves shakily- actions being performed in short spurts. To her, everything is spinning. She still hasn't wrapped her head around the news. Processing the fact that Eddie was just in an accident- and is definitely injured, possibly even dead- well, let's just say it isn't the easiest.
She grabs her phone and heads downstairs, but the sight there is one of panic and fear. The other four girls wait, none of them close to calm statures. Nina is fidgeting, wringing her hands nervously. Amber is sobbing- muttering Alfie's name in between cries. Mara has a blank stare etched across her features, and Joy has tears running down her cheeks, looking around- wondering what to do with herself.
"Girls," Trudy says- voice wavering. "Victor has allowed us to all go to the hospital. He said he'd come by later, but he's notifying the boys' parents. Come along- a car is waiting out front for us."
The waiting room is mournful.
Nina curls farther against the uncomfortable chair, blinking heavily to clear the burning tears from her eyes. It's unreal- almost. One second, the boys are fine- they just went to hang out- and the next- they're clinging to life in a hospital. How had things gotten so bad, so fast?
Fabian needs to be okay. The thought of going on with him makes her physically ill. He's everything- in her eyes, and going on without him would be like living without emotion. She needs him- especially right now- considering her insecurities and fear. He doesn't know her secret- no one does- to be honest, but once he does find out, he'll hopefully heal her. She feels damaged- like Fabian is her only savior.
Nina shivers- though it isn't exactly cold in the hospital. She doesn't like the idea of being a damsel in distress- but life hasn't exactly been kind to her in the past few days. In fact- it's been anything but- more cruel than anything.
After what seems like an eternity- a doctor steps out into the waiting room. There are a few splotches of blood on his scrubs- and the mere sight makes Nina's stomach turn.
"Mick Campbell?"
To be entirely honest- Nina isn't very happy to hear Mick's name. Sure- Mick is a good friend and she wants to know he's alright, but he's not Fabian. And Fabian is all that's on her mind right now.
Joy however- stands quickly, and Nina watches her reach up to wipe her eyes. Trudy stands beside her, and they both walk over to the middle-aged man. She assumes he's telling them Mick's diagnosis- and from Joy's audible gasp- it doesn't seem to be a good one. Nina watches Joy nod, trembling in fear and anxiety.
Both of them turn, and Joy walks back over. She comes to a halt just in front of where Nina's sitting- Patricia is next to her- and heaves a sobbing sigh. "Shattered left ankle, broken right leg, sprained right wrist, three bruised ribs, and a pretty horrid concussion. And he said Mick was probably the luckiest."
"Oh, Joy…" Patricia stands and embraces the shorter girl, allowing Joy to bury her face in her shoulder. "I'm so sorry…"
Joy pulls away quickly, giving Patricia a small nod. "He said I could see Mick for a bit, so I wanna go. I'll text you."
She gives them a small, watery smile, before turning and following the man in white down a series of hallways.
A million thoughts are running through Joy's mind, as the doctor finally stops at a white door. Room 683. He turns to her- expression grim. "Go ahead in. There's not really a time limit- but if he does wake up- you might need to get out for a bit. Speaking of- if he does show signs of regaining consciousness, press the 'call nurse' button. We need to check him over- because of the concussion."
He gives her a slight nod, before turning and walking in the other direction. Joy takes a deep breath, sighing to herself. It can't be that bad, can it?
There's only one way to find out- and the door is pushed open.
Joy stares.
Mick looks awful, and that's putting it lightly. The poor guy looks broken and miserable- it truly breaks her heart. His left ankle and right leg are wrapped in plaster- the cast on his ankle goes up to mid-calf and the cast on his leg stops just above his knee. Gauze is covering his right arm- it stops just before his elbow. A thin hospital gown covers his pale, muscled form. She knows that there are bandages under his gown- covering the cuts, bruises, and his ribs. His head is centered on the pillows- and his left arm is connected to an IV. A clear bag of fluid is connected to the tubing- pain meds, Joy guesses.
She feels another tear run down her cheek, as she walks substantially closer to his bedside. There are chairs next to his bed, and she takes a seat, stretching out to grasp his uninjured hand in both of hers. Smiling sadly, she presses her lips to the limb, her heart clenching with emotion.
"I love you."
Thanks for all the favorites, follows, and reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. Please leave your thoughts- I'd love to know what your opinions were.
-Neha