James stalked into the observation lounge, needing a drink.

The doors opened and he saw Shepard and Garrus scoot away from each other on the couch, which probably meant they had just been making out. He understood the whole 'when they mood stirkes' concept, but damn, she did have her own cabin. Which would give them a lot more privacy. Then again, maybe that was the point.

He wasn't one to judge.

"Hey Lola," he said, heading straight to the bar. "Scars."

"Jimmy," Garrus said with a nod of his head.

James looked through the impressive collection of alcohol and couldn't find the bottle he wanted. "Where the hell is the rum?"

"I think we're out," Shepard said. James chuckled. She rarely drank herself, yet seemed to know the ship's alcohol inventory at all times. Huh. Made sense, actually. A ship's commander probably should have an idea how much their crew drank. James made a mental note to remember that when he had his own command.

Denied of his rum, James grabbed a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. He wasn't looking to get drunk, just take the edge off. After topping off the glass, James threw back the drink. Vodka always burned his throat, and he couldn't help but grimace a bit.

"Mind if I join you?"

Shepard gestured to the seat across from them. "Always welcome, Vega. You okay?"

James settled back and crossed his ankle at the knee. "Yeah, I think."

"Spit it out, Vega."

"I think I pissed off the Primarch somehow," Vega admitted.

He watched Shepard and Garrus exchange a look. Shepard leaned over, resting her elbows on her knees. "Why do you think that?"

"Not sure, just got this feeling."

"What happened?" Garrus asked, leaning back on the couch.

"I'm working in the armory, right? Primarch comes down, starts running laps. After a bit, walks over to me, asks if he can use the punching bag."

"You tell him no?" Shepard asked, surprised. "You always let people use that bag."

"Course I didn't say no. Not my bag, just in my space. And it's the freaking Primarch."

Shepard raised her hands in mock surrender. "Sorry, sorry."

"The guy's been running ragged lately, no? So I asked him if he wanted to spar, maybe loosen up a little," James said, going back to the bar for another shot. That's when he noticed their faces.

Shepard had her hand over her mouth and Garrus, well, James was shit at reading the guy's expressions. Amused, if he had to guess. Yeah, definitely amused. He was getting better at this.

"Jimmy… ah, how do I explain this to him, Shepard?" Garrus stood up and walked over to the bar. Grabbing a bottle of blue alcohol, Garrus added, "You basically hit on the Primarch."

"What?" James slammed down the bottle of vodka. "No I didn't! Just asked if the guy wanted to spar."

"You also told him he should loosen up," Shepard added.

"I don't follow," James said, shaking his head and pouring another shot of vodka.

"How much should we tell him, Garrus? I don't want to scar him for life."

Garrus carefully poured himself a drink. "All you really need to know, Jimmy, is that telling a turian to loosen up is basically saying you want to have sex with them."

"Huh." James took a moment let this stink in. Then he shrugged. "Explains his reaction, then."

"What'd he say?" Shepard asked.

"Just said he was flattered, but not interested. Didn't end up using the bag."

"You want me to talk to him?" Garrus asked.

"Nah, I'll explain it to him next time he's down the in the bay," James said, throwing back his shot.

He sat back down and cracked his neck, ignoring the glare from Shepard. She hated that sound. A thought hit him. "Wait a minute…"

Shepard crossed her legs. "Something else?" she asked.

James slowly looked between Shepard and Garrus. "You told Garrus to loosen up this morning."

Garrus brought his hand to up to rub his neck while Shepard covered her mouth, looking like she was trying hard not to laugh. "Yeah… well…" Garrus said, glancing at the ceiling.

He thought about it some more. "Dios, you two tell each other to loosen up all the time!" He jumped up and went to pour himself another drink.

How did that even work, really? With a turian and a human? What did loosening up have anything to do with anything? Did turians have that different parts than humans? Shit, he needed to be drunker to deal with this.

"Well, that's just great," Shepard said, not hiding her laughter anymore. "Now we have to think of a new code.

"I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that." James threw back another shot. "Least the Primarch's not pissed at me."

An awkward silence fell over the lounge.

"Can we change the subject now?"

"Gladly."