"Goodnight, Yuki-Kun!"
"Honda-san, shouldn't you be going to bed as well? It is getting late, and you have morning duties tomorrow."
"I'll be back in just a minute. I want to make sure Kyou-kun is alright, he was so quiet during dinner."
"Typical. The baka neko keeping you up late, forcing you to re inflate his ego over nothing."
"Don't be silly, Yuki-kun, I want to help! Kyou is my friend, as are you."
She smiled and ran off towards the ladder to the roof. His insides railed at the thought of what might be going on up there. Kyou was always sulking during dinner, Yuki knew, probably just to get more attention from Tohru. He didn't get why she felt the need to soothe him every time his feathers got ruffled over his own inadequacy. Baka neko. She was too caring for her own good. Now she'd be up late, talking to his rival on the roof, saying god knows what to each other. He toyed briefly with the idea of eavesdropping, but decided that even if that idiot did grow the courage to tell her his obvious feelings she would never respond in kind. She could never look at that person (if you could call him that, as far as Yuki was concerned he barely qualified) with anything more then friendship mixed with pity.
Could she?
The thought kept him up late, pacing around his room until well after midnight. He catalogued every instance of their interactions he could think of and didn't like where this was heading. He would get upset and she would soothe him, she would get sad and he would comfort her...all while Yuki stood back from a distance. Maintaining his air of unattainable mystery. Keeping up the walls that had become so central to him, knowing that it was keeping out the one woman who had ever come close to touching his heart.
Tohru had attempted to reach out to Yuki on more than one occasion, with her amazing sense of empathy and kindness. Yuki had always gently rebuffed her, telling her that just knowing someone cared enough to help was all that he needed from her. This response disappointed her, Yuki knew, she would never believe that was all he needed to be perfectly happy but would also never press him in a way which might make him uncomfortable. He smiled wryly to himself. Sometimes he wished she would press a little harder, not take no for an answer.
Yuki scolded himself. He could never ask for more from Tohru, who had given him friendship more genuine then he had ever thought possible. The other members of his family rushed to see how much of her sympathy and love they could leech for themselves, never bothering to put first the girl who never though of herself. He would bet everything he had that not one of them had ever noticed when she was upset or hurt, had never asked her what was wrong only to be lied to over and over about everything being fine. She was always chopping onions, or had a speck of dust in her eye, or...or...or something equally impossible to believe.
Yuki was studying at his desk when he heard the door to the roof open, and close again. He listened as Kyou and Tohru bid a hushed goodnight to each other, whispering conspiratorially. His insides coiled at the thought of what might have happened between the two on the roof, if they'd talked about feelings, if he'd dared to put his arm around her. Their faces leaning closer, lips only inches apart, slowly...
SNAP. His pencil broke in two. He looked at the shattered pieces in his hand, reminding himself that this was why he tried to never indulge in day dreaming. Letting his feelings run rampant often had consequences far worse then splinters.
He heard soft, light footsteps approach down the hall. Tohru would have to pass by his room to get to hers. He considered turning off his light so she would think he was asleep just long enough for her to get to his room. She called out to him,
"Yuki-kun! You should be asleep. School starts in less then five hours!"
"You're right, Honda-san. I was just finishing up homework, I'll rest in a minute." Why did he always feel the need to justify himself to her?
"Oh. Ok. Goodnight, Yuki-kun."
"Goodnight, Honda-san."
He knew why. He didn't want to worry her, or keep her up half the night with his insignificant problems when she had enough trouble with school on a full nights sleep. Unlike some idiot redheaded cousins of his he could think of.
Yuki sighed inwardly. Tohru had told him to go to bed, and he knew it was a good idea. He lay down knowing that sleep was still hours away. His body was in bed, but his mind was still with Tohru. She hadn't seemed any different towards him then usual, he could reasonably guess that he hadn't made his inevitable confession towards her. But just because it hadn't happened tonight, didn't mean it wouldn't happen soon. Didn't mean he wouldn't be beaten to the punch, and lose Tohru forever.
Baka.