A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback. This story is the very first crossover between Sabrina the Teenage Witch and The Loud House, so it's understandable that reviews have been rather slow on this website. So far, the favorites and followings equal each other in number (8).

Dragonshadow97: That was pretty much the whole idea. And it's not everyday you get the words "feel good" in an episode such as "No Such Luck."

Fireball Disaster: To answer your totally unrelated question, Crystal Louds is now reuploaded. Call it an improvement on the last one.

Nanairo the Keyblade Samurai: Ooh… Someone clearly knows their Sabrina. The episode in question is titled "Thin Ice."

Willow x Oz: You'll find out soon enough.

Okay, get ready for an origin story of how Salem got to the Loud House.

A pair of yellow eyes appeared in the dark. They looked left, right and back again.

"Where am I?" asked Salem. "Why is it dark in here? I can't see my own paws!"

Just then, he could hear the faint patter of footsteps from afar, followed closely by a familiar hum.

Teenage girls, he thought, shuddering. Okay, you've been through this sort of thing. Just keep your mouth shut and wait it out. See what happens.

The line of internal monologues was briefly interrupted by a small grumbling.

Wonder if there's any chow around here…

"That was a literally good beach day," mused Lori as she and Leni entered their room. "I don't know about you, but Lincoln sure kept a lot of bad luck away, suit or no suit."

"You said it," affirmed the younger sister, closing the door behind her. "Think of all the things we didn't get: broken glass, crab claws, snapping turtles, sharks…"

Lori briefly flashed a palm at Leni. "Let me stop you right there. Sharks? Really, Leni? Everybody knows that there are no sharks in Michigan."

"Oh yeah? Then what about those bull sharks I've heard that can totes go into sea and fresh water?"

"They only travel as far as Illinois… or whatever that documentary said."

Leni mopped her forehead. "Like, phew. Hate to meet one of those bull sharks. I dunno what would be worse: the teeth or the horns."

Lori had nothing further to say on the subject. She just rolled her eyes before heading for the closet.

"Now where did I put those new shoes…?"

Upon opening the door, she turned on the lights and looked down. Almost instantly, she screamed with the utmost horror and scurried to her bed.

"Black cat! Black cat!"

No kidding, Blondie, Salem thought.

"How did a cat get in here?" Leni asked.

"No idea!" stated Lori. "But we'd better throw it out, just to be safe!"

Leni cringed. "Throw it out? Like, out the window? Wouldn't that hurt the little guy?"

"No, Leni, I mean we should chase it out of the house."

Don't panic, Saberhagen. Just give them the old charm. Here goes nothing…

Salem walked up to Leni, then began to purr and nuzzle her leg.

"Aw, that is totes adorable!" Leni cooed, picking up Salem gently. She held him against her shoulder and begins stroking him.

"Aren't you just, wike, the cutest wittle kitty ever? Yes, you are. Yes, you are."

Salem let the girl's fingers run through his fur. Oh, that's the spot. Sabrina always stroked me like this. Now she's gonna wish she never kicked me out. But hey: her loss, my gain.

"Leni, are you insane?" exclaimed Lori. "We don't know where that cat came from! It could have rabies!"

"What rabbits?" queried Leni, looking around. "I don't see any."

The eldest Loud sibling put a palm to her face. "Okay, let me put this another way. Maybe you've forgotten that black cats are bad luck?"

Leni giggled. "Oh, Lori. We have a black cat in our house and he doesn't give us bad luck. Not even on Friday the 13th."

"That's because Cliff has patches of cream-colored fur on his face." Lori pointed a finger at Salem. "This is a literally black cat, from head to toe."

Guilty as charged, thought Salem, a smug grin daring to beam from ear to ear.

Marching to the door, Lori flung it open wide and pointed outside. "And that's why it has to go! Move it, fleabag! Scram! No strays allowed!"

Salem narrowed his eyes into the best glare he could muster. Who you callin' a "stray?"

"Don't wisten to that mean wady, kitty," soothed Leni, placing Salem on her bed. "She's just not used to stwangers wike I am."

"Lori, could you keep it down?"

Lori turned to see Lynn walking down the hallway and towards the room.

"Some of us are trying to do some bench preps in peace," Lynn complained, stopping right next to the eldest sister. "I swear, your shouting could put Luna's guitar practice to—"

A yelp of panic put an end to her ranting the second she spotted Salem atop the pinkish blanket of Lori's mattress. "Black cat!" And she ran off in a flash.

Huh, mused Salem internally. What's the worst that kid can do? It's not like she's gonna come after me with a hockey stick.

At that moment, Lynn came right back dressed from head to kneecaps in hockey gear, the stick firmly in both hands. She let out a fierce war cry whilst going for the kill.

¿Qué? Salem's eyes widened. He sprinted off the bed, narrowly missing the business end of the stick. No time was lost in exiting through the door and entering the hallway.

Me and my big mouth of a brain!

"Get back here!" Lynn shouted, following the black cat out.

"Run, kitty, run!" urged Leni.

"Hey, Linc!" Clyde called whist opening the front door. "You home? The guys told me about the Squirrels game and I wanted to congratulate— What the...?"

A small, black shape rushed down the stairs, with a hostile Lynn on his tail.

Hold the door, kid, thought Salem. Just a few secs and I'm home free! Yeehaw!

"Clyde!" hollered Lynn. "Shut the door! Quick!"

"Um… Okay?" Clyde grabbed a hold of the knob and pulled, letting the door slam behind him with a loud bang.

Veer left! Veer left! And that's what Salem did, dashing past the puzzled Clyde and into the dining room.

Onto the cloth of the grown-up's table the cat leapt, and Lynn hurled the hockey stick in a harpooner-like fashion. Salem quickly jumped out of the way, causing the projectile to continue its course towards the window.

There was a shattering crash.

Just then, Salem spotted the flap of Charles' doggie door from the kitchen entrance. Well, whaddya know? he thought. An escape hatch fit for a cat!

He made a break for it, nearly slipping on the tile floor. But as he got under the flap, he could go no further. He was jammed halfway through.

Why did I eat that whole leg of beef last night?

Lynn had fetched the hockey stick from the window and entered the kitchen. "Gotcha now, cat," she growled, walking over to the bottom half of Salem's body. "Time for you to make a bigger exit…"

On the other side, Salem shut his eyes. Any sobbing he might've elicited could only be heard in his head.

Lynn raised the stick 180° over her right shoulder, preparing the final hitter as she shouted out, "Fore!"

"Stop!" uttered a familiar monotone from nearby, with a higher pitch than usual.

Lynn shrieked, involuntarily shooting the stick from her hands into the single lightbulb. Another scene of broken glass ensued, albeit at a smaller scale, followed by tiny sparks. The stick landed on the tiles with a clatter.

"Oh boy," murmured Clyde, standing at the kitchen entrance.

"What's going on in there?" called a matriarchal voice.

"Nothing of my doing, Mrs. Loud!" Clyde answered hurriedly.

Unfazed by the sudden accident or her mother's voice, Lynn turned to the goth girl standing a foot away from her.

"What gives, Lucy?!" she blurted, lifting the visor of her mask. "I was about to rid the house of an unlucky fur ball!"

"I'm not letting you harm this Witch Familiar."

"Witch Familiar?"

Lucy didn't answer. She just walked up to Salem and pulled him out of the flap, placing him gently into her arms.

"Oh, thank you!" Salem cheered as he gave Lucy some kisses. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! That maniac was going to use me as the first kitty golf ball!"

Lynn and Clyde blinked.

"Am I hearing things?" asked Clyde, rubbing his ears. "Cos if I am, I'll need someone more qualified than Dr. Lopez."

"Did… that cat just… talk?" Lynn struggled to say.

Almost as if by magic, the rest of the Loud family appeared into the kitchen, stopping an inch away from the tiny bits of glass on the tiles. Luna could be seen holding Lily.

"What's this about a talking kitty?" Lola inquired.

"And one smart little witch," added Salem, tilting his head sideways toward his rescuer.

Lucy stared directly at the cat. "What… did you just… call me?"

"Um, you're a witch. Duh. How else could you have identified me as a Witch Familiar?"

Salem turned to the rest of the family, laughing to himself. "Of course, this is a magic family I'll be living with. Surely Sabrina must've zapped you a letter to let you know I was coming. Right?"

Not a reply was to be heard. Everyone from every angle peered in Salem and Lucy's direction.

"Right?"

The silence continued to linger for a few seconds until Luna said, "Um… We're pretty much zilch on magic, dude."

"Incredible," mused a stunned Lisa. "Simply incredible. This is most disconcerting to my usually rational mind."

"I'm a witch?" Lucy sounded as if she were asking more to herself than to the cat in her arms. "I'm. A. Witch? For real?"

"I know this might sound cliché," interjected Salem, "but I'll just go ahead and say it: awkward…"

"And now we come to the second answer of Question No. 2," Lincoln told the readers, his hands under the running faucet of the bathroom sink. "Where Salem comes from, Witch Familiars are assigned to magic families until they've served their time. He was lucky to be dropped off at a home that has a witch: my little sister Lucy."

He turned off the tap, then reached for the towel. "It all makes sense with her popping out of nowhere and her so-called 'obsession' with ghosts, vampires, anything that jumps outta Halloween… Turns out to be a witch trait.

"Doesn't make the willies any smaller, though."

Shuddering slightly, Lincoln exited the bathroom and shut the door. He began shaking his head as though to exorcise this feeling of dread.

"Okay, I'm better now," he spoke with assurance. "It's been over a month, and my head's still reeling with this new reality. We're not all as emotionally detached as Lisa.

"Last week, we found a magic guide called Ancient Book of Spells owned by Great Grandma Harriet. Before you ask, no; she was not a witch. She just had this big appeal for the netherworld… or the Other Realm, as Salem calls it."

Lincoln walked a few steps before halting outside Lynn and Lucy's room. "Lucy's the real deal in this family," he stated, pointing to the door. "As for Lynn—"

"UGH, I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!"

Startled by the muffled, though familiar voice, Lincoln ran back downstairs.

He stopped halfway to find Lynn exiting the house with a large, heavy bag on her back. She turned to her side to reveal a gas mask on her face and her hands strapped into rubber gloves.

"How much does that cat eat?" she complained, dropping the bag. "What does he eat? Mexican food? Just because he has a big litter box doesn't mean he can fill every inch of it!"

A chuckle in the form of "He-he-he" could be heard from the couch. The first two syllables were of an even note, the last about two octaves higher.

"Keep up the good work, Junior! Remember: we've got some claws that need filing tomorrow!"

Lincoln ignored Salem as he returned his attention to the readers. "Lynn's overreaction to Salem's debut was the last straw. Two different series of bad luck in one week? Right now, she's grounded for three months: one month for destroying the dining room window and the kitchen light; two for assaulting a Witch Familiar protected by the Humane Society."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows? Since she's been doing every one of our chores, maybe she'll get time off for good behavior…"

Once more upstairs, the only male child of the Louds went.

"Keeping Salem quiet around what the Other Realm refer to as 'mortals' isn't much of an issue; he's a pro at this sort of thing, if you can call him a pro at anything. The same applies to Lucy, as far as her magic's concerned. Just so you know, Clyde's been sworn to secrecy from that day on. I couldn't have asked for a better pal.

"But he's not the only mortal outside the family who's in on it…"

A/N: Didn't see any of this coming, did you?

Because Salem has showed up in the immediate aftermath of "No Such Luck," you can expect that things in Season 2 would've been altered in one way or another. We won't be doing any rewrites of specific episodes, but references shall be mentioned, along with a few flashbacks.

Sorry again for cutting this pilot short. Ever since I uploaded it prematurely, DarthWill3 and I have had to "salvage this whole mess by improvising." (His words, not mine.) Part 3 will be the final nail before we move on to one-shot episodes. Scout's honor.