Finally a second chapter formed, making this a two-shot. The song is "Nothing really matters" by Mr. Probz, a Dutch artist with a unique voice. I recommend listening to the song while you read!

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2. Nothing really matters

He knows she is awake. They are lying together in silence, both caught up in their own thoughts. He is spooning her, her head resting on his left arm and his right arm wrapped around her. She's playing with the fingers of his right hand, that is resting in front of her on the mattress, and he realizes that this is what he's been missing. It's strange in a way because he's never had it before, but holding her like this, even in a cheap hotel room in a bed that can barely hold both of them, feels right. He's alright now because he can sense that she's alright. And that's all that truly matters.

When she's okay
Then I'm alright
When she's awake
I'm up all night
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters

He never realized how much he depended on her until she wasn't there. He should have known the first time, when she was off to Oregon, but it's like it has finally sunk in this time. Maybe that's because this time, it was his doing. He is the one who left without a word. He'd thought that he would miss her less as time went on, but the truth is, he only missed her more.

He can't really blame Kathy. In the end, all he had with Kathy was kids and sex. He's fought for his family, he really has. It's what a responsible adult does and they had to grow up fast. It wasn't fair, on both of them, and it still isn't. He still feels that a man needs to take responsibility for his actions and that he did the right thing, staying with Kathy when he got her pregnant at 17. But maybe it's time to let it go at last. Aside from Eli, the kids are all grown up now and Kathy is tired. They both are. They are exhausted from trying to keep their marriage going. When he moved out to the hotel, he could see in her eyes that she knew he wasn't coming back. He hadn't known it himself then but now he does. Because of Olivia.

I see her face
And in my mind
I seize the day
Whenever she's nearby
It's like nothing really matters, no
Nothing really matters

He had hoped to find answers by meeting with her and he has. It's never been clearer to him than it is right now.

She completes me
How she reads me
Right or wrong

It's so clear she's
All that I need
All I need

This is it. No matter how wrong it may seem, his life has never felt more right than it does in this instance. He is at peace with himself and it amazes him because he had expected to feel guilty. He wonders now if he should feel guilty for feeling no guilt at all. He knows he's given it his all and he has finally stopped blaming himself for the failure of his marriage. It isn't anyone's fault and it's best for everyone to end it. He feels like he can breathe again and he nuzzles his nose in Olivia's dark locks. She is the reason he can breathe again.

I know what it feels like
I know what it feels like
Swimming through the stars when I see her
And I don't need air 'cause I breathe her

I know what it feels like
I know what it feels like
I breathe her
I breathe her
Every time I see her
Every time I see her, oh

Olivia shifts in his arms and he makes room for her when she turns around to face him. He hooks his right leg over her left leg to make sure she doesn't fall off the bed. Or maybe it's to make sure they continue to make as much contact as physically possible. It doesn't matter. He looks into her eyes and he knows he's home. She is his beacon. He can see her love for him in her eyes and he closes his eyes when she kisses him.

He's never seen her like this. So calm and composed. So utterly sure of what she's doing. It only confirms his own belief that this is right. He can finally see clearly again and everything suddenly makes sense. Because of her.

When I'm lost
And need a sign
She leads the way
And I'll be fine
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters

Her hands are reading his body as if it's talking to her in braille. His body has no choice but to respond to her touch. He kisses her more deeply and the deep throaty moan that she produces makes him want to envelop her completely. He wants to hold her just like this always, to shield her from the world, to keep her safe and to keep her with him, where she belongs.

She completes me
How she reads me
Right or wrong

It's so clear she's
All that I need
All I need, yeah

Her lips follow her hands and he is moved by the love that shows in the way she touches him and explores his body. They move slowly now, no longer desperate to find each other. He has been found. She has been found. She is all he needs to breathe.

I know what it feels like
I know what it feels like
Swimming through the stars when I see her
And I don't need air 'cause I breathe her

I know what it feels like
I know what it feels like, yeah
I breathe her
I breathe her
Every time I see her
Every time I see her, oh

He looks up at her in amazement when she climbs over him and his hands move up her torso on their own accord. She sighs when he cups her full breasts and each breath she expels, breathes more life back into him. She stares down at him and he wants to move her back a little so he can be inside her again. He gasps when she leans forward so she can slide her body over his. She's soft, warm, wet and inviting and she smiles when she feels his body respond strongly to her. Her smile warms him and her hair, tickling his skin when she leans down to kiss his chest, is like a summer breeze. She is life.

Every time I see her, oh
Every time I see her, oh

He surrenders completely to her, dropping his arms above his head on the pillow to show her that he is hers. He sees in her dark eyes that she knows. When she moves again and they begin another dance of love, it's a slow dance. They keep looking at each other, looking through each other, and they find everything they've ever wanted. Everything that's been missing from their lives. Everything they will ever need. And he knows that she's okay now. All traces of doubt and fear are gone and what is left is love. A love that transcends the physical love they are giving to each other now. And he knows that when she's alright, then so is he. Nothing else matters anymore.

Well she's O.K.
And I'm all right
When she's awake
I'm up all night
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters

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