Chapter Two: Laying the Groundwork
It didn't take long before curiosity and Derek's kindness from the previous night made his choice for him. Stiles got through his shift on Sunday then headed over to the address Derek left for him and it was only about a fifteen minute walk to the apartment building, it was a three story building with two apartments per story and if Stiles knew anything, it undoubtedly houses more students than anything. He'd actually looked into off-campus housing but it was too expensive for a guy who was getting paid a small stipend for his work-study jobs on campus especially since he'd given up the term paper writing business in the hopes that he wouldn't have it count against him when they did background checks and whatnot after he was able to apply for the FBI program. He'd never been caught so it shouldn't but being in college now made it a lot harder to write them for others when he had to write so many for himself.
Derek on the other hand always seemed more than able to handle life financially though Stiles didn't know anything about why that was. He'd never asked because frankly it was none of his business and also he knew about life insurance and how much it sucked to have money because people were dead. It was interesting that of all the places Derek could pick from, he ended up a couple blocks from Stiles's college campus but then again the werewolf had admitted to being here because he wanted to be close to Stiles, to pack he forced himself to remember. He walked up to the correct door and slipped the key inside and turned. The tumblers inside snapped and clicked into place and the knob twisted and he pushed the door open to find Derek sitting at a desk with a laptop in front of him and he was looking over at the door because he could undoubtedly hear Stiles coming from the staircase like when he walked in through the front door.
"Hey Derek," he said with a wave as he closed the door behind him.
"Stiles," the werewolf responded and kept working on whatever he was doing on the laptop. "Did you take the Tylenol I left for you? And the pictures, did you see them? I am not good at the pictures thing especially because of the eye flashing thing but I think they turned out well."
Stiles gripped his phone, sitting inside his jacket pocket and thought about the message he'd received before he'd gone out drinking that said: 'Maybe the mayhem is worth it because the person is worth protecting.' He'd been to embarrassed to talk to Derek about it last night and he wasn't going to talk about it now but Stiles appreciated the thought that he was worth it to someone.
"Yeah, I guess I needed to see this for real. I gotta say man, this is a little stalkery."
Derek shrugged, like he knew but didn't see the problem.
"This is the wolf thing right? To be close to pack? Does it matter what pack member?" Stiles asked because he has to, he has to know everything there is to know. Even after all these years, he'd never been the one to demand answers but know he needed them to understand the dynamic that was happening here.
Derek looked up at him, "Of course it matters Stiles, I made this choice to be close to someone who I trust, no matter how much growling we did to each other, you proved yourself trustworthy so many times. This is about the wolf but it's also about the human part of me that just doesn't always want to be alone but needs someone that I can trust. I never trusted Lydia, not really. No matter how much you guys did, she brought back Peter and she was never really a part of my pack and Scott never wanted to be a part of my pack and that kind of fracture—I couldn't get close to that so he became a necessity in town rather than a desired presence in my pack. You though, there was always something more flexible about your loyalties, not because you stopped being loyal to Scott and the others, only that you were equally capable of being loyal to the Hale Pack and you did. I didn't matter who needed your help; you stuck up for Boyd and Erica, you worked to save my sister and me more than a few times. You saved countless people because you didn't care about things like Pack dynamics. That's not something that werewolves do very well. Now if you're standing here can I assume we going to make a plan or not?"
Stiles stared in shock because clearly Derek had thought about this a lot before he played stalkerwolf and set up shop near the teen's college and if the werewolf wanted to help then Stiles wasn't going to say no. He did ask for help after all.
"Okay, well then I guess we have a couple of weeks to continue this ruse. I think the only way that's going to work is spending time together, maybe more pictures on social media that people back home are going to see?"
Derek motioned him over and Stiles moved to sit down next to him. "It shouldn't be anything over the top, start with movies or something like that, we can hang out here when you aren't working your ass off for the end of term. You could even come here for some quiet, I have Internet and everything like a 'normal' person."
"And we are going to get closer too, like physically speaking? Cuddle even? All that?" Stiles asked, crossing his arms in some self-protective gesture though he didn't know who or what he was protecting himself from.
"And if we are going to actually convince some of your friends, we are going to have to smell like we are together, scent marking and everything. I wouldn't be able to stand being with you without the desire to mark you as pack and mine. It was one of the hardest aspects of having made werewolves as a pack, they couldn't ever understand the desire to scent mark each other. I stopped for their sake but I'm asking you if we can do that, please?"
Stiles nodded, figuring that was going to be part of it. He just needed the werewolf to know that when he started smelling like an aroused idiot that he would do nothing to hurt Derek. He knew more than most about Derek's past, not only because of Kate but also Jennifer/Julia using magic to take advantage of him. He'd been a douchebag about it when his dad was witch-napped but had done everything to make sure the werewolf knew that Stiles understood. "I know you said you were willing to do this but I can't help but think that it's not worth it. I'm not worth it. I know I called and you came but I won't take advantage of this and I don't know if I'm capable of just pretending I don't have this stupid years-long crush on you."
"You told me already Stiles," Derek said with a grin and snapped his laptop closed. He flinched at the sound and leaned back from the werewolf trying to gain a little perspective instead of his normal dive-right-in approach which he so desperately wanted to do right now.
"I won't be like them," Stiles snapped and crossed his arms over his chest.
Derek frowned in one of those honest to god held tilt dog-like motions that made Stiles squirm with a desire to laugh as he asked, "Like who?"
"Kate. Jennifer. I won't take advantage of you, not like that. I don't think this would really work not because you aren't willing but because I don't think you understand how hard this would be, for me to pretend not to care. Especially after what happened with Lydia."
Derek leaned forward and Stiles sucked in a sharp breath but didn't move away. The werewolf hushed him gently then leaned in the rest of the way and pressed a kiss to the edge of the his mouth and Stiles was left with nothing but the surprise at the caress as well as the scruff scraped along his skin deliciously. It was simple and short, over before he could have more than a jumble of emotions then it was over.
The werewolf leaned back again, "I understand what I am offering, what you are asking. I understand what you are telling me and I am willing to stand by you. Is that understood?"
Stiles nodded, shuddering a breath and leaned in for a moment, "Don't expect me to stop freaking about this. Don't ask me to stop asking you to repeat yourself. I won't do what they did," he'd always been disgusted by what Kate did to him and later Deaton had shared with them that he wondered if Jennifer had used magic.
Derek nodded with a smiled and with that they launched into a plan. One that included spending time together which was exactly what Derek needed, they would take pictures and post them all over Stiles's social media sites to prepare for going home and Derek being Stiles's date for the wedding. They weren't going to tell anyone about the ruse because it would be too much for multiple people to maintain the story if necessary. Stiles and Derek planned to let most of the work be done by the pictures and the fact that they were going to the wedding together, even traveling together. When they returned to Washington then it would just slip away into the distant past, in the meantime Derek would get some pack closeness that he was needing and Stiles would have a friend close by to help with the aching loneliness he hadn't even known was there until Lydia dropped her bomb on his head.
What came after that first meeting was several awkward interactions, whether it was in Derek's apartment or at Stiles's dorm room, even at coffee shops or during Stiles's shifts at the library but soon they found that a shared past wasn't all they had, Derek was a bit of a closet nerd in a few areas but the damage of the fire had just made those pursuits not interesting anymore. He was actually writing on his laptop and because Stiles was taking a couple of English courses they frequently launched into philosophical debates about such things as literature, superheroes and so on. Things didn't stay awkward, starting to smooth into something they both thoroughly enjoyed.
Stiles continued to work on his finals workload and Derek helped to keep him fed and hydrated, had taken to bringing him food during his shifts at school or bringing water and telling him to stop mainlining coffee. There were no 'dates' during finals because Stiles was too busy. He talked out his papers with Derek and the werewolf just listened to him, helping when he could. It helped Stiles for the most part because he wasn't trying to be some perfect version of himself, Derek knew every annoying habit he had and with anyone else he would have at least attempted to be on his 'best' behavior but because of their past and the fact that they weren't really dating Stiles didn't have to pretend and he loved it. Stiles couldn't help but feel grateful that he wasn't alone anymore in this far off world that didn't understand what it was like to have come from Beacon Hills.
They were sitting together on the couch in Derek's apartment, close enough to be called cuddling as Derek put on a movie. They were watching all of the superhero movies together since the sourwolf had never seen them. Today's adventure was Captain America: The First Avenger in celebration of the last final being completed that afternoon. Stiles had a couple more shifts before they would be heading back to Beacon Hills but for now the human was pleased that he'd kicked ass and took names this week. He'd already pestered most of his professors into letting him know what they estimated his final marks to be and Stiles knew that he would have the grades to get those grants and scholarships. He would have to start on the process of applying for them soon but for now he was just going to enjoy doing nothing with Derek.
"Do you sometimes think to yourself, how could I possibly make friends with people that don't know what it was like to live with the supernatural? I mean how am I supposed to connect with people whose toughest life choice are which loan to pay back twenty years from now?"
Derek slid an arm around Stiles's shoulder and the human clicked a quick picture of them for the sake of their groundwork (mostly) and posted it with an update of what they were watching, while completely ignoring their closeness in the post. Derek leaned in close enough to scent mark the top of Stiles's head while he thought about what to say. Stiles kind of wished they weren't playing this game, he wanted to have one of these moments and have it not be about laying the groundwork but he just told his hormones to shut up.
Derek finally answered, "I think sometimes those relationships can be nice because they are free from all that supernatural drama but for the most part I get it. I need someone I don't have to explain it to them. Not really the tragic back story but the werewolf and so on."
"You get it," Stiles whispered and pressed in close when he thought about all the times he'd almost died or when he saw someone he cared about dying. He didn't want to die and yet here he was picking a career that was going to undoubtedly put him into the crossfire of the world's least friendly humans and he wondered if maybe running headlong into danger was just in his blood. His dad had been in law enforcement his whole life and he'd wanted it too. That is what sent him careening into the forest with his best friend, kept him running into battles he couldn't fight for the most part.
"It's not about that though Stiles," Derek whispered and the human was left wondering how much he'd been muttering out loud instead of in his mind.
"What?" he asked, hoping he'd kept his unhelpful thoughts to himself.
"I do get it about the dangers that we left behind in Beacon Hills but things have been better there too and I didn't come to you because you would get it about crappy things happening."
"You came because you wanted pack again, but doesn't it help a little to know that you can talk to me about anything? That you have no need to hide a part of who you are."
Derek smiled against the top of Stiles's head and he smiled in return, enjoying the comfort of their closeness. "Yeah it's good to have someone I don't have to hide from but honestly I just spent a good chunk of time with just a bunch of werewolves, I could use a little less supernatural talk. What about you?"
Stiles tightened his hold around Derek's arm and answered honestly rather than shut it all down like he'd been doing since he got here, "Sometimes I still sleep walk, I still scream out in the middle of the night and I see all those people's worst nightmares and then I think to myself: I lived it. I'm surprised that Jesse hasn't asked for a different roommate by now but it could be because he sleeps around a lot so he's rarely at home."
"You can tell me about it, Stiles you don't have to do this by yourself anymore okay?" Derek asked, scrubbing a hand over Stiles's shoulder gently, leaving behind the warmth in Stiles's skin and bones.
"I watched one of the chimera die, I was happy about it and I let him die. I watched the life fade from his eyes, he was my age actually younger and I watched him die. I didn't want it but I also didn't want to die because I didn't fight him. I refused to let him kill me and because of that some part of me felt powerful even though I was weak and human. Theo used it to turn Scott and I against each other and it didn't take much. Malia and I broke up because of that asshole then just when we were supposed to get over everything and have this simple and easy senior year they forgot me. I watched everyone I ever cared about forget me, I put my heart on the line again for her again and she forgot too. I hated seeing it happen and knowing it had happened to me. We'd forgotten about so many after they died or left; Danny and Jackson, Ethan and Aiden just to count a few. God, we never talked about Boyd or Erica, not even Allison. It was suddenly like they were out of sight and we didn't want them in mind but I couldn't forget any of them and I thought maybe that made me short sighted and stupid because I didn't want them to go and I didn't want that to happen to anyone else."
"But it happened to you," it wasn't a question because it wasn't one.
"My dad didn't know who I was, he said 'hey son calm down and tell me your name' and I thought I'm going to have a panic attack. I think I did have one, I just don't know. I didn't know that I could lose a significant part of who I was because other people didn't know me. I thought hey Stiles is always Stiles, and I know myself but when they all forgot me, it didn't matter anymore because I wasn't known. How is that a thing?"
"We all want to be known Stiles, for who we are. And they remembered you, they got you back and you were able to thwart yet another nefarious plot."
Stiles nodded rubbing his cheek against Derek's shirt and took a deep breath of the werewolf's scent and inhaling it deeply as he answered trying to ignore the fact that the man's scent was comforting and it really shouldn't be since he wasn't a werewolf, "Didn't make it hurt it any less."
Derek shook his head, rubbing his cheek into Stiles's scalp and tightened his arms around him, "No I don't imagine it would."
"And I haven't been able to talk about it with anyone, I didn't even really get a chance with Scott because they got me back and time didn't stop. It just kept on going and I missed it all because of that stupid fucking train station in some other dimension! I survived to senior year and I missed it because of the next big bad in town and because I refused to leave well enough alone."
Derek just nodded and waited.
"Are we really going to go back to Beacon Hills and be a couple in front of all our friends for the sake of Lydia freaking Martin?" Stiles finally asked, thinking to himself that in his mind, Lydia's name came with a curse attached to it now every time he thought it or said it out loud.
"Second thoughts?" the werewolf asked.
"And thirds and fourths," Stiles told him honestly.
"Do you want to call it off? There hasn't really been anything too explicit in the pictures that we couldn't back out now. And we haven't actually declared anything because this plan is hinging on everyone just making an assumption anyway."
Stiles shook his head and pushed up off of the werewolf and started looking around thinking about all the things he was worried about with this particular plan and how stupid it was to play in his own feelings like this. He knew his feelings; Stiles had crushed on Derek for more than a few years, just as much as he had with Lydia for various reasons.
Suddenly there was a clutching in his chest, a cold drop in his stomach and he needed out. He had to get out of here before he said something stupid that he couldn't take back, he'd already done that with Derek a couple of times. He'd told the werewolf more of his experiences then even Scott or his dad knew about. Derek knew why Stiles had chosen the college, beyond the fact that it would get him into the FBI program, but because it would get him as far away from Beacon Hills as possible while staying in the country. Stiles missed his dad but he was angry with the man for forgetting him even though he knew it was stupid; he even resented the man because his father got to see his wife again and Stiles hadn't gotten to see his mother. He didn't want to be next to Scott anymore, even though he loved the alpha werewolf like a brother, he couldn't stand to be left behind in the wake of the newest beta that Scott turned or the next best thing like Theo. Being forgotten and the fractures that Theo caused in the pack left Stiles without a foundation of trust in the people he loved. From that moment on, he'd wondered if he and Scott could ever really be the same.
Only Derek knew that fear, one of the worst ones that the human carried in his heart.
Only Derek knew that the Wild Hunt had done so much more than make people forget Stiles, they had made Stiles forget himself.
Only Derek knew that Stiles still carried the weight, the darkness of the Nogitsune and what the fox spirit had left behind despite the fact that he'd done whatever it took to hide it from the people closest to him.
Derek knew how much Stiles didn't think he was worth forgiving for Allison.
"Stiles!" Derek's shout sounded far away, like his head was under water and he didn't know why. He reared back when something grabbed his arm and he gripped his head between his palms and wondered how he'd gotten here. He remembered standing then everything was wobbly around the edges. His fingers dug into the sides of his head trying to contain all that he'd already given up, pulling back because in the last three weeks he'd had more of a relationship with Derek, a fake one, than he'd ever had with Lydia or even Malia who'd been desperate for someone to fix her and to make her feel human again. She'd wanted a reason to stay human and there was a part of Stiles that was desperate to make the fact that they forced her back into her human form okay, even with the best of intentions he can't hide what he did to her. What they both had done to Malia. Stiles had been desperate for her, to not be alone and to be loved and she needed him and it had been enough but she'd been unable emotionally to give him anything besides needing him.
It was probably why they were so easily dismantled under Theo's masterful manipulations.
"Stiles, you have to breathe!" Derek said, only the last word coming in clearly and startling the human in its nearness then there were lips on his and he sucked in a deep breath in surprise before everything stopped. He registered the beard prickling into his skin and raising his awareness. Those lips, softer than he'd ever imagined them being shifted and Stiles felt the shift in the werewolf's jaw and it was everything he'd ever wanted it to be.
Then it was over and he was slumped into Derek's chest as he gulped down air into his straining lungs, left wondering what happened.
"Okay, breathing with me. Good," Derek crooned gently as he pressed a gentle hand to the back of Stiles's head in comfort. One of Stiles's hands gravitated to the werewolf's chest and he copied the breathe in-out he could feel there until he was calm again. Then pressed the heel of his other hand into the space between his eyes, feeling the fwump-fwump of his heart beat, leaving the start of a migraine in its wake then there was a subtle shifting and Derek's hand was on the back of his neck and there was a bubbling weirdness and the ache was gone. Derek doing the Pain Drain, Stiles realized after a couple of seconds.
Stiles chuckled, more air than noise, "Well that was embarrassing. You kissed me?"
Derek just let the question sit there saying nothing for another minute before he spoke, "Think about it Stiles, if you don't want to do this then just let me know but I got you this just in case." Derek handed Stiles a piece of paper, helped him into his shoes and jacket and sent him on his way much to the human's further embarrassment because he was still woozy after the adrenaline crash and pain drain which he'd only experienced a few times and still as good as any high performance pain medication when it comes to the after effect of loopiness. He gripped the paper tightly as he wandered back towards the school and went back to his dorm—finally looking when he closed the door behind him. There was a receipt for tickets back to Beacon Hills for five days from now. It would give him enough time to lock up the dorm room for the summer, since it would belong to him and Jesse unless he decided to change rooms, which he didn't need to worry about until just before registration. Jesse had left before the ink was dry on his last final two days ago; leaving a good chunk of his stuff on his side of the room while Stiles was still pulling shifts at the library and coffee place.
He knew there was a ticket with Derek's name on it since it was on the same receipt so he needed to get his shit figured out before then so the werewolf could plan for the trip as well but he didn't know if he could do this to either of them, even though he asked for help and Derek had offered but he took the time Derek was giving him with this. He took the next two days to make a decision, leaving a text saying simply, 'If you are game, meet me at the airport.'
And for whatever reason even after another two days of silence, Derek was there waiting for him when he got to the airport with his backpack and duffle bag in tow. Stiles couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief that he wasn't going to be alone after all. He didn't stop himself from throwing his arms around Derek's shoulders and whispering into the man's ear, "Thank you."
Derek chuckled and stood like that for a few minutes, not even caring that they looked like the main characters of a Rom-Com reconnecting after a debilitating third act break up. They got to their gate and on the flight, Stiles took pictures of them together and Derek took one where he was mock glaring at Stiles who was asleep on his shoulder then showed it to the human when he woke up at their connecting flight who just laughed and tucked his phone away, not even posting it because Derek's 'lens flare' was evident. He didn't delete it though; it was proof that Derek was funnier than he had always seemed when he was dark and mysterious back in the day.
One more flight and they would be getting picked up at the airport by none other than Sheriff Noah Stilinski and their ruse would begin for real.