Dear Bruno,

As I say every year, this is ridiculous and we should just text. Despite this, as it happens every year, I begin my first email to you. I should start by saying 'how are you?', but that's redundant. I know how you are at this point. Right now, I'd guess you're still in the car and you and your whole family are probably singing along to the radio, loudly. You'll stop and get tortillas and tacos soon, and you'll get home just in time for a late dinner and a kids movie with your whole family.

I on the other hand, will be alone in my room after an early dinner of chicken and steamed broccoli. I know, I know, you'll say I'm being emo, but you've got so many people, its practically like being in a dorm. I've got me, me, me.

Enough about that though. I think I might just make some friends this summer. You've got competition Bruno. I might not be able to spend every waking moment with you on the mind. My mother has set up a summer job for me. I'm going to be a camp counselor! (that is indeed meant to be tinged with the sarcasm I'm sure you read it with). Bruno, I am not as good with kids as I'm sure it may seem from my lovely demeanor and the few interactions I've had with your younger family members. I am in fact slightly scared of children. Theres something about them. They're like you Bruno, they say everything and anything on their mind. They get way to into little things, but as soon as they're bored, they just move right on down the line to obsess over something new. They have entirely to much energy and its never focused on the right thing, and far worse than you, they have no idea of social customs so they are impossible to control. Bruno, I am stressed.

This guy I went to elementary school with is apparently a counselor there. When I was in elementary school, he was my idol. He was the student council president. He was in the grade above me and literally all I wanted was to be his friend, but he moved up to our junior high, and I went to the Hall. I wonder what he's like now? Well, seems I'll find out pretty soon.

I texted Diane. I told her I just wanted to be friends. She just said that I was sweet and that she was fine with being friends. Or at least it seems like she's fine with being friends. I don't know Bruno. I feel like she should be the perfect girl for me, right? She's smart, she's rational, she's funny, she's driven. All amazing qualities. All qualities I like in a person. Yet, I don't like her like that. I don't want to kiss her, or do... anything else. But it's not just that. I don't even have an interest in being romantic i guess? Like, taking her on a date, giving her flowers, planning surprises. It just doesn't click. I just don't want to stop being friends.

Anyways, this whole email has just been me being self absorbed and whiny. So, tell me, whats going on deep in the mind of Bruno Walton?

yours truly,

Boots P. O'Neil

Dear Boots,

You're a regular sherlock holmes now aren't you? Got me all figured out? I'll have you know that we did not watch one, but two movies and neither of them were specifically kid's movies. I'll bet that knocked you down a few pegs. Also, way to drop some bombs on my O'Neil! I had no idea that you didn't even want to be with her. I can sort of see it though, cause when I've pictured you together (not in a creepy way), I just can't picture as romantic, just like you said. I mean, you guys chilling in sweat pants, just watching swimming matches or something (whatever nerds like you guys do), maybe doing kinda nice things to for each other, like getting each other coffee or something. Little things like friends do, not big things like partners do. So I get it. Still, you could have at least told me! I have to admit, I'm a bit relieved. Not that I don't want you dating! But, I was just thinking about much more time we'd have to spend sneaking into Scrimmage. You know I don't exactly have a problem with it, but it's simply a means to plot. A useless sneak, well, I wasn't so sure about that. I would have done it for you, of course, but its a risk. And what would I have done? I don't exactly see me and Kathy becoming great friends. We're simply perfect as nemesis. Seems like you've got a real man crush on this guy at your new job. What's his name and face? Anyways, back to me. I have been doing, quite probably, much better than you in the past few hours since we have left our esteemed Hall. The closest thing to being emo I have been is some slight yearning for the Hall and our lovely room. Yet, I do enjoy my home life. I know how yours is, and I know how its not ideal, but Boots, I promise you, this summer is gonna be different. I can feel it. In my BONES. You've got a job, maybe your and Diane's little stint will give you some confidence. You will own this summer my man! I, on the other hand, will enjoy a peaceful summer watching my younger siblings (the twins have become menaces). I will also be working part time at my local Publix, enjoying my first stint in the minimum wage job all of my elementary school teachers liked to say I was headed for. Not quite as romantic, glamorous, or traditional as a summer camp counselor, but I think there is a sort of suburban, rough skater boy feel to working at Publix. It would work a lot better if I lived in California, but oh well. I might just re do some of my old piercings. How would you feel about me reverting back to our first meeting? Sexy bad boy Bruno might just come on back. Don't go back to first year Boots though. I don't think I could handle you introducing yourself to other people our age as Melvin. That would just be too much. Anyways, I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again.

Godspeed,

Bruno Walton