This is set about six months before the prologue.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter.

P.S. Happy Birthday Thais!

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Chapter 1

BPOV

I don't think I have ever been so mad in my life.

An hour ago I was in a committed, relatively happy two year relationship with Jacob Black who I could not go a day without seeing, now I'm single, pissed off and I never want to see him again. It's funny how things change.

I pulled up to Alice's for the weekly Saturday night movie and I could see that all the usual gang were present; Alice, her boyfriend Jasper, Rosalie, her boyfriend Emmett and Edward.

Edward was Alice and Emmett's cousin and he lived with them, he was friends with Jasper, Rosalie couldn't stand him and I didn't really know him, it sounds ridiculous considering the amount of time we spend in each others presence but I only really knew him by reputation.

It was not a good reputation.

I opened the front door and all four and a bit foot of Alice was on her feet straight away hugging me to within an inch of my life, I wasn't quite sure how she moved so fast.

"How was your day with Jacob, Bella?" Rosalie asked, smiling sweetly as she tossed her blond hair over her shoulder.

I grunted and took the only space left, next to Edward, in front of the TV with my back resting against Rose's legs that were hanging off the couch.

"That good, huh?" chuckled Emmett before he let out a whine. Rosalie had smacked him across the head; I could feel the edges of my mouth try to turn up to smile but they didn't quite make it.

"We broke up."

Alice let out a gasp and she appeared in front of me.

"Why did you break up with him?"

Ouch.

"I didn't, he broke up with me."

Alice didn't seem to comprehend that fact.

"But he's younger than you, a whole year younger." She exclaimed, her arms gesturing wildly.

"You're the older, wiser, sexy girlfriend who teaches him the way of the world. He doesn't get to break up with you. It would be stupid to break up with you." She just kept making it worse.

"Apparently not."

"Did he give a reason?" Rosalie asking comfortingly and effectively shut Alice up as she rubbed my shoulders.

I shook my head and made a little lie about how we were growing apart. To tell them the real reason, especially with three boys in the room would hurt me a hell of a lot more than the break up ever would.

"Wanker."

"Dickhead."

"Fucktard."

The boys gave their input.

"Thanks guys, you're so sweet."

"No worries Bells and don't worry we'll protect you from all the horny boys who want to get in your pants on the first day of school." Rosalie slapped Emmett's head again. This time I actually smiled.

"What Emmett means to say is we're sorry Bella and we'll keep away any unwanted attention." Jasper clarified.

I laughed.

"What?" Jasper questioned.

"I really don't think you'll have to keep away any attention. I highly doubt I'll get any."

Edward let out a massive scoff which made us both turn red. Me, because well I didn't exactly see myself as a sex kitten and Edward probably blushed because it was an involuntary noise and I doubt he meant it to be interpreted as I was the subject of teenager boy's desires.

"As if Bella, I know at least five guys that are dying to ask you out." Edward smiled. Okay then, maybe I was wrong.

"Yeah, Edward's right. You are gorgeous and you'll be even more gorgeous when Rose and I come over on Monday morning to get you ready for school."

I groaned.

"Do you want to talk about it Bells?" Alice asked seriously, losing the playful tone.

"Nope, I want to watch…" I looked over to the DVD bookcase. "Deatheaters 2"

"Good choice." Jasper jumped up to set the TV up as everyone else shifted to get comfortable.

A hand suddenly appeared on my arm, I looked towards the source. It was Edward. The boy who I'd probably said a dozen words to since he moved here last year. Okay, maybe a dozen was a bit of an understatement, a few hundred maybe and considering how much time we spent in each others presence, a few hundred words was nothing. We just hung out because he was friends with Jasper and Emmett. I didn't know him like I knew the other two boys.

"I'm really sorry Bella. You're too good for him anyway." His beautiful green eyes glowed with honesty.

"Thanks." I smiled softly as the film started.

He looked away and we began to watch the film and despite my obvious anger at Jacob I still couldn't find it within me to feel sad about our break-up.

I tried numerous attempts to start more conversations with Edward later in the evening but he snubbed each one of them. I tried not to be pissed off. He didn't really talk to anyone except his cousins and Jasper; he only talked to Rose when she was pissing him off. It was just his way.

Frustrated with the lack of conversation I stood up and made my way into the Cullen kitchen. I knew where everything was in this house, despite its massive size. I spent a lot of my time here. I rarely saw Edward though; it was like he wanted to stay out of my way.

I ripped open the popcorn packet I had taken from the cupboard and place it in the microwave.

Emmett stumbled in a few moments later rubbing at his mouth.

"Rose got you?" I laughed.

"Her lips look so yummy with all that shiny goop on them-"

"Lip-gloss."

"Yeah, that, but it's sticky as hell."

"TMI Emmett." I laughed and turned back to the microwave.

"Sorry." He apologised earnestly.

"I saw you talking to Edward in there."

I shrugged.

"I know you have feelings for him Bells." He bit the bullet; I knew my shoulders tensed so I wasn't surprised when he stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"It doesn't matter. If we're honest Edward and I aren't even friends, Jasper is his only friend. You, Alice, Carlisle and Esme are his family, Jasper is his friend and Rosalie is his friend-slash-bitching post. If he wanted everyone could be his friend. Everyone likes him, he just doesn't like anyone. I don't think he even likes himself." I said sadly.

"He can't help it." Emmett tightened his hug. "It's his defence."

I hummed quietly in agreement.

"He doesn't like people getting close and considering his childhood I'm not surprised. He's not like everyone else Bells, you can't go through what he did and come out all sunshine and flowers."

"I know."

"Every night before he goes out my mom stops him at the door, kisses his cheek and tells him she loves him. He looks at her so sadly, like he would do anything just to be able to say it back, show the same affection but he can't. Even though she has been his mom for nearly 9 years, for all intents and purposes, he can't, he can't let himself love her back. He's broken Bella. It's sad and it sucks but it's the truth. You can't expect anything from him."

Emmett's voice was heavy with emotion. He loved Edward like a brother and while they were close Edward wouldn't let himself be too close.

"I understand." I said in a final tone. This conversation was done.

I cleared my throat to remove the lump of sadness that had formed at the thought of Edward's sad life. I didn't know very much about it, no one did. Only Esme and Carlisle and, of course, Edward knew the full details. All that I knew was his parents were dead and had been since he was 9.

"And anyway, Jacob and I just broke up; I won't be even thinking about anyone else for a while."

"Like Jazz and I said, we shall be protecting you." He chuckled, trying to diffuse the sad air that had spread across the kitchen.

Alice and Rosalie spent the entire of Monday morning informing me of how everyone was desperate to get into my pants. Well everyone except Jacob, but they didn't know that. Rosalie decided that because my pants wouldn't be big enough to fit every boy that apparently wanted to get near them I would wear have to a skirt and would continue to do so for the entire week. Despite numerous attempts to negotiate a compromise they refused to be swayed. So here I was in Forks, Washington, what could quite possibly be the coldest and wettest part of the US, wearing a shirt that didn't even touch my knees and a top that I had decided was far to thin and tight for my liking. Rose and Alice even made sure I drove off before leaving the house, "just in case I felt like turning around and changing." Bitches.

I pulled into the school parking lot and with a grunt I swung my truck door open, as I twisted my body to get out of the cab I flashed Mike Newton my panties. My car just wasn't meant for girls in skirts.

I huffed again, swinging my bag over my shoulder and shivering as a gust of wind passed across my legs, I made my way into the school building and to my locker.

I heard a door slam and feet pound against the floor behind me, as they got closer they began to drop in momentum.

"Yes Mike?" I grunted without even turning around, so much for Emmett and Jasper protecting me from the hormones of Forks High. There was nothing better to start a Monday morning than a run in with Mike Newton.

The boy seemed to think just because he'd seen my knickers he could come talk to me when my body language demonstrated that I was in a less than pleasant mood.

"There's a party at my house this Friday and I would like to personally invite you." His eyebrows raised on the word personally. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Don't do that again Mike. Word had clearly spread about "Bella and La Push" breaking up.

"Erm…"

"Everyone really wants you to come, we haven't seen you since the beginning of summer, you've either been up at the beach or with Alice and Rosalie, everyone really misses you..."

He said everyone like, literally the entire, newly, senior class missed me. My friends were popular that was for sure, Alice and Rosalie were the girls you wanted to be friends with, the girls that you'd give a leg to spend a day with, Jasper was the interesting, friendly yet intellectual boy next door, Emmett was the school superstar; there was not a sport he could not do and then there was Edward, he's the… gorgeous one. That was no secret. His auburn hair and his green eyes and his dazzling smile, they were heart stopping by themselves but with his body, his lean but built body, he was the definition of sex, not that I'd ever tell him that. That would make our quasi-friendship extremely awkward.

"Bella?" Mike laughed.

"Sorry, erm… yeah, sure. Friday night. Your house. Got it." I smiled tightly before turning and trying not to sprint to my locker.

"8 o'clock." He yelled after me.

I extended my arm and gave him a thumbs up sign without turning around.

E POV

The first week of school after summer was always interesting, I didn't realise how interesting though.

Emmett woke me up at 5am. Dick. He was going for a run and thought I might like to join him. It's 5am. Enough said.

I was downstairs and eating breakfast in time to see Alice rush out with a bunch of clothes. She noticed me, stuck a kiss on my cheek despite my rule about affection - generally I didn't like it - and ran out with a few rushed words. "Bella needs my expertise."

I chuckled into my cereal as I remembered how frustrated Bella got when Alice and Rosalie 'offered' their services on Saturday night. Bella's face turned an alluring shade of red.

Emmett strolled in sweaty quite a bit later.

"Dude!" I checked the clock above the oven. "We've got to be at school in 15!"

My aunt and uncle had taken his car away for two weeks. He was caught doing something I really didn't want to know about on a rival team's field with Rosalie and so I was on chauffeur duty. I could not be late for school on the first day back. The principal was on my ass enough already.

"So…" He asked confused as he set about cracking four eggs into a pan.

"You're rank." I gestured to his sweaty exterior and his fucking soaked t-shirt. It made me want to projectile vomit my cereal.

"Unlike some members of this family," he looked pointedly at me, "I don't spend 45 minutes doing my hair and making sure I look good for Bella."

"Fuck you." I still curse the day I got so drunk that I thought it would be clever to tell him that particular secret. I guess I should be glad it was that secret I told him and not the one he was asking about, the one about my parents. That would just make shit awkward. It's just some things should just be left alone. This was one of them.

"I saw you talking to her last night."

"She was upset." I said like that explained everything. I didn't talk to Bella, it was an unwritten rule, everyone knew it but no one spoke of it.

"No she wasn't. Jacob was a dick. She was embarrassed not upset."

"It's not like it matters. I probably said like five words."

"You never even say one to her. It's a rare occasion you say hello."

I flicked him the finger.

"Don't do that." He grunted angry.

"Do what?"

"Treat me like everyone else. Be rude to me because you think I'm getting close to the truth. You always do that and you know what it doesn't make you smart or self preserving, it just makes you an ass."

I rested my elbows on the kitchen island and grasped at my hair.

"Tell her you like her."

"No." I said instantly.

"Why?" He growled. "I know you like her."

"I'm allowed to like people; I don't have to go declaring my feelings to them though."

"Bull."

"I like Jessica."

"No, you like Jessica when she's on your dick. You can't deal with her any other time."

"Whatever." I got off my stool. "I'm done with this conversation."

"She had a massive freaking smile on her face after you spoke to her last night. Bella wants to be your friend. Talk to her, be her friend."

"I can't be her friend." I exhaled as I sat back down on my stool.

"What?"

"I just can't."

"Once again, what?" He asked, his tone confused, he didn't understand. I had to make him understand.

"If I'm her friend, I'll want to be more because I can see how amazing she is without even being her friend and I don't want her that close. I don't want anyone that close. I'm doing what's best for her."

"So let's get this straight… you don't talk to Bella because you think you'll want to be with her, but you'll let pretty much any girl in a fifty mile radius get with you? That's has the most stupid thing I've ever heard."

"You hear what comes out of your mouth most of the time right?" He threw a bagel at me.

Emmett finished frying his eggs and slid them onto a plate, he grabbed a fork and began shovelling it into his mouth. He didn't wait to finish his mouthful before talking again.

"You think if you're friends with her, you'll want her?"

"Dude, close your damn mouth when you eat."

"Answer the question."

I paused as I was embarrassed that I about to admit this out loud. I didn't get feelings for anyone. I was Edward Cullen. Enough said.

"Yes."

He was trying not to laugh. I could see the way his lips pursed, the way his dimples pinched.

"You think it's so ridiculous that I could have actual real feelings for someone?"

"No. I think it's ridiculous that you won't talk to her."

I grunted. My logic was slightly insane I can admit but the further I placed myself from her, the easier it was to deny that I have feelings for her, that maybe, one day, I could love her. I didn't love anyone now. Not after Chicago. It was hard enough pretending like I wanted to be part of this 'family', I just wanted to be alone.

"I'm protecting her. You know what I'm like when I feel I get too close I push away and I know I'll get too close to her and it's going to hurt her when I have to get away. So it's easier not to be friends, not to talk to her."

"You talk to Alice."

"That's different, she's family."

"You talk to Jessica."

"Nasal voice and can't give carry a conversation for shit. I could never want to be with her." I cringed at the prospect of being her boyfriend.

"You talk to Rose."

"Number one, I could never have feelings for anyone you were with, that's just a rule and number two, I can't talk to her for more than a minute without wanting to scream."

"Dude. Not cool." He looked a little pissed. I guess I shouldn't insult his girlfriend.

"Sorry but we're not exactly buddies." Emmett nodded and paused for thought.

"Bella wants to be your friend. You should try, you need some more people in your life that mean something man. If she gets to close that weird fucked up mechanism in you will start flashing and you can just back off."

I stayed silent and looked down at the table. Emmett didn't say anything for some time; he finished his plate, put it in the dishwasher and stood across from me. The silence was suffocating and I could feel his stare on me.

"Don't you ever get tired of feeling empty?" He asked in an almost pained voice.

The answer felt almost too honest. Every bone in my body willed me to lie and tell him that I didn't, that my life was perfect but I couldn't. I owed Emmett some honesty.

"All the fucking time."

He nodded sadly and the situation felt too heavy, too real and I didn't like it. I needed to just get away. I got off my stool and grabbed my school bag and keys.

"Five minutes then I'm leaving." I turned to tell him.

He could see I didn't like the truthful atmosphere.

"Okay."

I turned again but was interrupted by his voice.

"You talk to Jasper."

"I'm not going to fall for Jazz and he's not going to fall for me."

"You sure about that?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows. "I've seen how you look at him and now I think of it, you look at Mike that way too. Do you want to tell me something?"

Mike was the fucking bane of my life, the only reason I was going to his party on Friday was so I could watch Bella from afar and make sure no dicks got near her. Well that and to get wasted, I knew I'd need to by the end of this week, I could feel it already.

He laughed as I walked out.

"You can walk to school sucker." The laughing stopped as I got into my car.

When I drove into school the parking lot was packed with cars and no students. I guess Emmett wasn't going to be the only late one.

"Late on the first day of school Cullen?" Mr Aro, the principal, asked as I walked down the empty corridor.

"Appears so, doesn't it sir." I gritted my teeth. Something about him just rubbed me up the wrong way.

"I'll let you off this time but I think you should try to stay out of trouble a little more Mr Cullen, after all you are a senior now." He was talking to me like I was a bloody tormentor, though I guess in this ridiculously small town I was. It was hard adapting from Chicago, my home for nine years to this stupid little place. I mean who in the fuck calls a place Forks?

I walked away from Mr Aro and towards my home room. I pushed the door a little too hard and it swung open and slammed against the wall. Mrs Lukas looked at me disapprovingly as I took a seat in the back. I shoved my iPod buds into my ears and zoned.

The morning went fast. I didn't listen to anything the teachers said, the first day of each year was always the same, teachers had not prepared a lesson plan so they just went through the syllabus for the first half of the lesson and then left us to our own devices for the second half.

Despite the efforts of several of the girls I had 'spent some time with' last year who were trying to catch my attention I would just plug in my iPod and ignore them. I would go to them when I needed them.

I felt guilty for 'using girls like Kleenexes' as Rosalie had so aptly put it during one of our frequent arguments but the girls knew that what happened was just physical. I made them feel good and they made me forget for a while. I never led them to believe we had a future or it was exclusive, it was just plain old sexual fulfilment.

As I walked into lunch several people asked me to sit with them, be it girls who wanted said sexual fulfilment or guys who thought they could use me for information to achieve the same set up but I refused every one of them when I saw Bella sitting on the far side of the cafeteria, by herself, with a book in her hand. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful.

Emmett's words echoed in my head. "Bella wants to be your friend. You should try, you need some more people in your life that mean something man. If she gets to close that weird fucked up mechanism in you will start flashing and you can just back off."

I took three steps in her direction before the light started to flash. I swallowed, stopped and looked for another free table. I sat at one a few tables away, against the slightly shadowed wall but I could still see Bella. She had a slight smile on her face and I found myself wondering what she was reading.

Seemingly out of nowhere Mike stepped up to Bella's table and started talking to her. She was shaking her head, not in an upset way, she still had a smile on her face and she turned back to her book. Mike looked almost pissed off and grabbed Bella's arm. He was trying to pull her up, he clearly wanted her to sit with him and she didn't want to.

I rubbed my face vigorously with my hand and got up.

I strolled over to Bella's table, dropped by bag on the table and sat opposite her. She looked at me with surprise and her eyes flickered between Mike and me. She wanted me to get rid of him.

I looked up to Mike, his face slightly red from anger. You're not going to touch Bella, I thought with a smile.

"Fuck off Mike." I smirked up at him. It was no secret that we despised each other. "Bella told you she didn't want to sit with you so you can leave now."

His face grew redder and he sped off embarrassed and pissed off.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"They have the first lunch period." Bella and I had the second.

Bella was still looking at me with a smile on her face so I got my sandwich out of my bag then grabbed one of her crisps and began munching on it.

"Thank you." I looked up at her; her face was honest and optimistic. "When Jasper and Emmett said I might need saving today I didn't think it would be by you."

I snatched another of her crisps.

I nodded, uncomfortable with her appreciation.

"So, what are you reading?" I asked as I reached for her book to try to distract her.

Her smile didn't lessen as she answered me. It was a crap book, I told her so, she disagreed and we debated the plot and the characters for nearly half an hour before the bell for the end of lunch signalled.

I realised that we were talking, really talking and there was no flashing light. I couldn't stop the smile on my face. Maybe, just maybe, I could be her friend.

Sorry there was no sexytime in this chapter but be patient, I have plans for them very soon.

Thanks for reading. I hoped you enjoyed and please remember to

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