Once again I would like to thank AC1830 for helping me make some much needed corrections. I hope to have the third chapter up by Wednesday. Thanks for reading and for the comments!

He was running. Away from anyone who dared to come near him. Suddenly someone was in front of him. He started to back away but the person kept coming closer.

"What's wrong Adam?" Asked the sweet female voice. "Don't you remember me? I was your girl wasn't I?"

It was Suellen Terry. Of course, he remembered her. "Oh that's right, you killed me. Now granted you may not have pulled the trigger, but he was shooting at you wasn't he? And I was with you. Should have known better; death seems to follow you everywhere." She smiled her sweet smile.

Adam hadn't noticed the people surrounding him. He looked into their faces. There was Marie, Inger, and another woman he didn't recognize. Then he remembered the picture on his father's desk. This was his mother. More people surrounded him. Friends, people who had died on the trail. People whose life he had taken. Drummond walked up. Billy following close behind.

"Well then, look who we have here. Adam Cartwright. Look around Adam. These are all the deaths you're responsible for. Some directly, some not. Either way, your very presence caused their death. You should know better than to love, than to care. By caring for others you kill those who wish to harm them, but the ones you love, those you kill with your love. You don't have the right to love Cartwright. Soon your brothers and father will understand this. After all, you do love them, don't you? Love." He laughed. "Love is only for yourself. But no, you love, so you stay. Everywhere you go you cause death." The people began falling away, and he could hear a voice calling out to him. "Well, then Cartwright. Go back to your world of love. Enjoy it while it lasts, because soon it will be gone too."

Adam woke up to the worried father and doctor. His head hurt. He was having trouble focusing. He began to sit up, but the movement caused him to groan. "Just take it, easy son." His father whispered to him placing his hand on Adam to keep him from rising. Drummond's words suddenly came back to him. He shoved his Father's hand away he had to keep his only parent safe from the death that always followed him.

Ben was taken aback by his son's action. He laid his hand on top of his son's. Adam jerked away. "Go away." He whispered. "Just go away Pa." Adam's voice was weak. Ben took a step back. What had he done? What rift had formed between them to this point? Adam was beginning to get agitated.

"Ben maybe you should go." The doctor said apologetically. Ben nodded and quietly left the room. He went downstairs and sat in his customary chair. His son didn't want him around. He told him to leave. What had happened? He was afraid his previous words had caused a greater rift than he could have even imagined.

~ BZ ~

The doctor looked at his patient and sighed. He had a concussion. Nothing too serious though. Adam was barely awake and even less coherent, but they had been able to discern the cause of the concussion. When Billy knocked him off his horse he hit his head on the ground, and while not serious at first, it slowly became worse with his lack of treatment. The Doctor's biggest concern was Ben. Anytime he had mentioned the boy's father Adam stiffened and would whisper something like "no, please no." Something had happened and Adam needed time.

As soon as the doctor rounded the corner Ben was standing with searching eyes.

"He's fine Ben." The doctor assured. Ben sat down, his relief evident. "He has a concussion. Most likely caused by the fall off his horse. Just keep him quiet and don't let him get up for a few days."

Ben nodded.

"Ben, I don't mean to meddle, and I don't know what happened between you and Adam... but I advise that you not go up there when he's awake. I'm afraid it would cause more damage if he were to get upset." Paul averted the pain-filled eyes of his dear friend. "I'll be back in about a week. In the meantime, you need to decide if you're going to press charges against Billy." The doctor quickly left the distraught father to his thoughts.

~ BZ ~

"Have you ever thought about homesteading?" Ben asked the young man standing in front of him. In reality, he was little more than a boy. The look on Billy's face told him the answer.

It had been two weeks since the whole ordeal ended. Two very long weeks. Adam and Billy had slept for most of the first week, Ben stayed close by his son, retreating to the hallway every time Adam awakened, telling his father to leave. At the beginning of the second week, Adam had woken up coherently for the first time. When he awakened to see his father sitting beside him, he didn't call out for him to leave, didn't begin thrashing, he simply looked at his startled father. Things seemed to get back to normal. Adam no longer sent his father away and Ben didn't feel the need to inform his son of the pain he had caused him in his fevered state. The only thing different was the fact that almost every night Adam called out in his dreams, often time's telling his father to stay away or leave him alone. If he remembered the dreams he never mentioned them. Adam still looked weak. He was leaning against the wagon saying goodbye to Billy. Adam was the one who thought to give some land to Billy, and hoping to restore the rift between himself and his son, Ben agreed.

Ben got great enjoyment in seeing Billy's eyes light up at the thought of owning his own place. Ben and Billy finished the minor details and Billy was about to leave when Ben began to wonder if this was truly a good idea. He thought he should add a warning. "But you get out of line just once and I'll..."

"Go get the sheriff." Adam finished. Adam's comment was said lightly almost comically, but the look Ben saw in his eldest's eyes told a whole other story

"Yes." Ben laughed. In the morning, he thought. I'll talk to Adam in the morning.

~ BZ ~

He was running. Running from his family. He couldn't let them get near. He couldn't be responsible for his family's death. He had to get away. They kept coming.

"No!" he woke up startled. I can't go on like this, Adam thought. He couldn't do this, to himself or his family. He got up and went to his desk. Pulling out a sheet of paper he began writing. When he was done he folded it in half and wrote "PA" on the front. Getting up he grabbed a carpet bag from his closet. After throwing a few outfits, a few books and his mother's music box in the bag, he quietly dressed and straightened up his room. Looking around for one last time he quietly stepped into the hall and shut the door. He silently walked down the steps, making sure he avoided the creaking board and laid the note at his father's place at the table. He then put on his hat and gun belt and left the house that he had designed, built, and lived in. After quickly saddling Sport he lead him into the yard. He gave one last look to the house where his family slept, and rode away. To protect them, he reminded himself as the tears began to fall.

~ BZ ~

Ben felt uneasy. He had felt that way since Adam had once again called out for him to leave him alone. It has become almost nightly, but last night, last night was different. Ben remembered his promise to himself that he would talk to his eldest this morning. Heading downstairs he looked at his son's bedroom door. Something definitely was not right. He sighed and took his customary seat at the table. Looking down he saw the paper folded at his place. "PA" was written on the front in Adam's handwriting. He felt sick. With a shaking hand he unfolded the note and read:

Pa,

I'm sorry. I have to go. I can't stay here. I can't hurt you anymore. Please don't come looking for me. I know I don't say this enough, but I love you. That's why I have to leave. I don't want to hurt anyone else.

Tell Hoss and Joe that I'm sorry, and despite everything, I love them. I'm sorry Pa, I never wanted to hurt you. Recent events have confirmed that you will be better off without me. I hold no grudges. Just know it's not your fault, it never has been.

Your son,

Adam

Ben could hardly see through the tears streaming down his face. He slowly released his grip on the paper as he laid down his head and wept.

~ BZ ~

Joe and Hoss were taken back by the sight that greeted them when they made their way downstairs for breakfast.

"Pa!" Joe called, racing towards his father. "Pa what's wrong?" he didn't answer. Hoss had followed Joe and picked up the paper lying near his father. He blanched.

"Joe, Joe look at this." Joe turned and quickly read the note in Hoss's hands. He turned the colour of the paper the note was written on.

"Hoss," he whispered, turning tear-filled eyes to his big brother. "Hoss why?" Hoss's eyes were equally tearful.

"I don't know Joe, I just don't know," he responded in a whisper. Neither knew what to say to the distraught father who had just lost his eldest son.

~ BZ ~

He was gone. They were safe. Why did he feel so uneasy? He continued riding through the woods. He kept reminding himself that this was the only way to save his family, but he couldn't stop the uneasy feeling he had. Suddenly a gun went off and Adam could feel the agony of the bullet tearing through his shoulder. He fell off of Sport hitting the ground hard. The agony in his shoulder was intensified by the new terrorizing pain in his head. He was trying to catch his breath and sit up but the dizziness prevented him from accomplishing either. He tried once again to rise but this time was stopped by someone's boot pressing down on his chest. The boot kept pressing down until he felt his ribs crack. Breathing became increasingly difficult as the owner of the boot began laughing.

"Well Cartwright," the man began laughing. "Looks like more trouble is going to come of this than you thought."

Adam's vision was beginning to blur, but he could make out the face. It was Collier. The lone survivor of Drummond's top men.

"You killed my friend Wheeler. It would have been worth it had we gotten the land, but thanks to you we didn't. Now you're going to pay and I'm going to get money to compensate for all the trouble you've caused." He removed his foot and tightly grabbed Adam and yanked him to his feet. Despite his weakened state, Adam immediately began fighting his captor. Collier wasn't amused. He punched Adam in the stomach and smiled evilly when he doubled over in pain.

Adam was gasping for breath when Collier placed the gun on the side of Adam's head. Adam straightened, fighting the pain. "Now Cartwright, how about you hold out your hands in front of you and go along quietly while I tie your hands." He gave another wicked grin.

Adam quietly complied. He was having trouble breathing, and his shoulder sent shafts of pain through his entire body. The man reached into Adam's saddle bags and found a rope. He attempted to tie the rope one handed, but when he couldn't he holstered the gun. Adam saw his chance. Just as the man finished the knot, Adam kicked out at him knocking him back. Adam attempted to run, but it was more of a stagger. Collier shot the ground next to Adam. Adam stopped.

"Next time I won't miss," he said as he yanked Adam back by the hair. The sudden movement sent waves of pain through his shoulder and he gasped. Collier laughed. "That'll teach you to run away," he said delivering another blow to Adam's stomach.

Adam began gasping for breath. "Get on the horse." He motioned to Sport with his head. Adam was having difficulty getting on the horse between his injuries and his tied hands. Collier offered no assistance and simply stood back and laughed. When Adam finally got on the horse he was exhausted and nearly unconscious from the pain. Collier tied Adam's hands to the saddle horn and mounted his own horse in front of Sport. Adam hadn't noticed the rope tied between the horses, but he was past caring. They were headed back to the house. He could tell that much, but he couldn't think. He stopped trying and put all his energy and concentration on staying conscious enough not to fall out of the saddle.

~ BZ ~

"I'm going after him." Joe exclaimed.

"No, Joe." Ben's voice was strained. "He asked us not to come after him, we need to respect his wishes."

Ben wanted nothing more than to saddle his horse and go right after him. This was his fault. He had made it seem to Adam that He wasn't needed or wanted. He had done this and now he would have to pay the consequences.

"But Pa," Hoss joined in. "Some things not been right with Adam. Something happened. We need to talk to him and figure out what it is that's got him so riled."

Ben thought for a moment. Was it worth it? Was it worth going after him? Would it be better for everyone if he just let his son go? No. The answer was obvious to him. How could he even think it was better that way? The note had said he didn't blame his father. That meant he blamed himself. Ben couldn't allow his oldest son, the son who had been with him through every trial, the one who had suffered through everything from the hard trail life, to watching the only mother he ever knew die, and completely taking over the ranch after Marie died. This was his son. He could not allow for Adam to blame for something that wasn't his fault. This was his son. He couldn't let him stay away, probably blaming himself for things that weren't his fault.

"Go after him, and hurry."

During the conversation the sound of two horses entering the yard had been lost. Suddenly the front door burst open and a barely conscious Adam was shoved through the door falling hard on the wooden planks.

"Adam!" Ben exclaimed running towards him.

"Hold it right there." Ben looked away from Adam and into the face of a man who looked familiar. This was the man that Hoss knocked off the horse, the man who shot Billy. "Now step back." he said.

Ben complied.

"What do you want?" Ben asked, worried at the unmoving form of his son. The man laughed a cold hard laugh.

"Well this feels awfully familiar, don't it? What I want at the moment is for you to take these here ropes," he threw several ropes at Ben. "and tie up them two boys of yours." He motioned with his gun at the two stunned Cartwrights.

He pointed the gun down towards the still unmoving Cartwright. "I think I'll keep this one with me."

Ben just stared. He couldn't, wouldn't, tie up his own sons. Collier cocked the gun and looked at Ben. "You have two other sons Cartwright, I only need one. This one killed Wheeler, I don't have any problem killing him." Ben grabbed the rope and turned to his sons. "You two sit down in those chairs." They compiled. Ben knelt and began tying their hands and feet.

"I'm sorry boys." he whispered.

"It's not your fault pa." Hoss whispered back.

"Yeah, it's that animal's." Joe growled.

"There, I believe your name was Collier. Now what?"

"Sit down over there." He motioned to Ben's office chair with his head. Ben walked over, his eyes on Adam the whole time. He saw the unsteady rise and fall of his chest and knew, if nothing else, he was still alive. Ben sat down and Collier abandoned his post at Adam's side and tightly tied Ben to the chair. He then proceeded to check on the other two Cartwrights. When he was satisfied he roughly grabbed Adam and pulled him to his feet. It was then that Ben saw the real damage done to his son.

"You shot him!" he gasped. The man laughed.

"Quite an observer there Cartwright. Now, on to real business. I want Ten thousand dollars and I want it now."

Ben was taken back. Ten thousand dollars? Surely he didn't think they kept that much in the house!

"We don't keep that kind of money around here." Ben responded as calm as he could.

Collier punched Adam in the stomach then dropped him to the ground and kicked him in the ribs. There was a sickening crack as more of his ribs broke. Adam began coughing and coughed up an alarming about of blood.

"Now do you care to tell the truth?" He was losing his patience. If the sheriff came to the Ponderosa looking for him, this would be all for nothing.

"I told you we don't have that kind of money in the house. You can take whatever we have. Please." Ben couldn't help the pleading tone his voice took on.

The intruder brought his foot back.

"Come now Cartwright, is it really worth it?" He let his foot fly into the young man's stomach and laughed as he cried out in pain. Ben was panicking. He honestly didn't have the kind of money in the house. What could he say to make him believe him?

"The bank, send one of us to the bank. We'll get you any amount you want, but please leave him alone." Ben was finding it difficult to fight the tears. Collier looked at the man. He'd seen him willingly give up his land for this same boy, he doubted he was lying. But this was a complication he didn't need.

"Where's your safe?" Ben felt momentary relief.

"Over here beside my desk." Collier walked over to the safe and knelt down.

"What's the combination." Ben told him without complaint. There wasn't much cash, only a couple hundred dollars, but it wasn't worth getting caught to get more. He took the money then backed away.

"I'm leaving and I can't run the risk of one of you following." He kicked Adam again and this time Adam didn't respond. "Don't matter anyway. Boy's dead." He caught the obvious look of horror before he left, once again laughing.

As he shut the door he thought he heard something, but was too busy counting his money to notice the horse riding into the yard.

"Hold it right there Collie,." the sheriff's voice was heard. Panicking he reached for his gun. The sheriff fired before he could even draw. The sheriff got off his horse and carefully walked towards his prisoner. He shook his head. Dead. He headed into the house to see what damage was done.