"Asshole," I retorted.

"I'm sorry but it's hilarious just watching you struggle," he said not giving a single fuck.

I looked around. Aperture definitely has changed last time I remember. They went from spheres that were filled with acidic water to more square chambers with bottomless drops. I don't know which I hate more. Jake rolled along on his rail, humming something. It was very hard to distinguish whether I was just dreaming under suspension or if this was real life. Could you smell in your dreams? I didn't think so. The smell of metal, mold, and plant growth hung in the air. We were walking along a catwalk which lead to the only rounded chamber in the entirety of this place. It had a large Aperture logo imprinted on its side and a large door in the center.

Boom.

Jake stopped right in his tracks.

"Man, what is up with her lately?" he mumbled.

"Who?"

"What?"

"Who?"

"Who who?"

I sighed. "The lady you're talking about!"

"Oh her. Yeah, she runs this whole place. The Test Chambers, the AC, the bots, the reactors."

"Her name?" I insisted as we neared the chamber.

"GLaDOS," Jake said.

"Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System," said a chilling, computerized female voice.

I stopped right in my tracks.

"Who was that."

"It was me," said this "GLaDOS".

I shivered.

"Come on you big wuss she can't hurt you," Jake waited for me to draw closer.

He quietly said, "Actually she can and every bot in this facility fears her."

My eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. We finally entered the chamber. I looked up to greet a massive machine trimmed in white with wires, pistons, and complex circuitry lining every millimeter of her shiny chassis.

"I'm GLaDOS. It's wonderful you've finally come out of Suspension, Michael Trent, after 164 years." I didn't know whether I should've been happy or scared since I was supposed to test 114 years ago under human supervision.

"Mmm, we're in trouble," whispered Jake.

"It's been too long since the last test subject. Boy have I got a plethora of tests for you."

The doors behind us slammed closed, causing the floor to rumble. I heard hissing and looked up to find mechanical arms descending rapidly to bring me to my doom.

"NEVER!"

I circled around GLaDOS, who was struggling to catch me, like a toddler refusing a diaper change.

"HURUURURHGHASDUR!"

Every light in the chamber turned red."

"Crap," I said. I spotted Jake in one area laughing his ass off.

"Would you like to spend time in Test Chamber 56 with all the screaming turrets, Jake?"

He gasped loudly, the two slides near his "eye" widening, "NO, no! Please have mercy!" he pleaded. It was now my turn to laugh.

Behind GLaDOS, two elevators popped up, two robots contained in them. One looked more feminine while the other looked like a ball with arms and legs.

"After him!"

They both held matching portal guns. After the command, they instantly shot portals in unison and jumped into them. I sprinted off in what appeared to be the safest direction until the two dropped down right in front me. We met for just a second, then I leaned back, preparing to run for it when they grabbed me.

Right before they did however, I spotted a poster by the desk at the entrance.

Think with Portals

I suddenly came up with an idea. There was no ceiling to this chamber. I pushed both bots backward, sending them into my primary portal which I shot towards a random location. Jake was sporting a surprised look, with which GLaDOS responded, "Well don't just hang there, do something!"

I shot my secondary portal at the wall in front of me, projecting me back towards my primary portal. Before I entered the the portal again, I shot another at the floor close to the wall. The two bots were struggling to get up. When they did, they ran into each other, GLaDOS scolding them. I flew out my secondary portal, flying a few feet about the wall. I backflipped over and landed on the catwalk.

The door was opening. There was an open Test Chamber up ahead. I shot my primary into it and ducked into my secondary when I arrived at the spot where I landed.

Goodbye suckers.

When I came into contact with the ground, I watched as the three fervently searched for where I had gone.

Suddenly, a laser had popped up, tracking itself towards me. I turned around and a multitude of lasers joined the first, a small voice saying,

"Target acquired."

"Shit."

I shot a portal at the wall behind them, falling into one in front of me and narrowly missing a bullet.

"Is anyone there?" it said.

The turrets had sleek, white bodies with a glowing red eye in the center. One thing I thought was interesting was the fact that they were tripedal. Good thing they can't walk.

I came to a large, circular door. It had an image of a cyan-colored person running. The center circle rotated and it quickly hissed open. There was a curtain of blue that looked like water. As my hand approached it, the sport closest grew brighter. I bravely stuck my hand through. It emanated a low hum. An elevator similar to the ones the two bots came in greeted me in the center of a room where the walls were screens. I drew closer. It displayed something about the production of Hard Light Bridges. Hard Light, woah new concept. I swept it off and entered the eager elevator. Before stepping in, I thought about where this was taking me. The circular door didn't reopen, and the elevator was my only way out.

"Might as well."

The glass doors slid closed and I descended through darkness.