Author's Note: We're back! Judging by the feedback I got, it seems like y'all haven't seen enough to decide if you'll like this or not. That being said, here's a warning:

It's only gonna get creepier.

SexEd

Chapter Two: Ice Breaker

"Alright, class, sit down! I said SIT DOWN!" Jiraiya commanded, frocing the others back to their seat. The man scanned the seating arrangment and waved a finger. "This won't do... it has to go boy-girl-boy. Everyone line up down here." With many moans of protest, the class shuffled down the aisles into a line against the chalkboard.

"Alright... In the front there-Kiba, then that blondie... Ino? Yeah, Ino. And then... Shino. Behind them I want Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. Over on that side... how about Neji, Hinata, and Lee. In the back-Shikamaru, Tenten, then the fat one.

A few awkward, angry minutes later, with a couple cries of "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING FAT!?"

"No, I meant big boned!"

"That's not what you said!"

"What I meant was thick-"

-And they eventually settled in their new seats. Looking uncomfortable.

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Now, we're going to do an ice breaker exercise to start. I want all the guys on this side to the room to look to their left, and all guys on that side to look to their right. Examine your female friends and-"

"OW!" a huge bump sprouted on Naruto's head, and Sakura's fist was raised and poised to strike again.

"Never mind! Never mind!" Jiraiya said. "How about we just go around them room, and say your favorite thing about the opposite sex. Come on, don't be shy. Believe me this is all relevant. We'll start with you." He pointed a large finger in front of him.

"Me?" asked Ino, and he nodded. "Okay, well... my favorite thing-"

"Or turn-on," Jiraiya added.

"Ahem. My favorite part of a boy would be... " she smiled. "His cold, dark eyes. And his mysterious aura. And that HOT body... uh! That stomach... " Everyone turned to stare at Sasuke, who was trying to keep himself from turning pink. "And-"

"Alright, alright, next!" Jiraiya said.

"What's that notepad for?" Asked Sakura, who noticed the little notebook he was scribbling in.

"Um.. just to remember things about you and... don't mind it!" the man answered hastily. "How about you Sakura?"

"Oh... um," she appeared to think for a moment. "I guess their smile." Someone coughed violently, and it sounded like the word "Cheesy!" and "Cliche!"

"But Sasuke doesn't even smile!" blurted Naruto, and Sakura glared.

"See? We already learned something today. The minds to women make no sense," Jiraiya said. "Next-let's just accomplish all the girls. Hinata, what about you?" All eyes turned to the girl in question, who turned beat red.

"I-I-I g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-guess t-th-t-th-that I... I... I... I l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-li-like-"

"Spit it out girl!"

"Personality! You know, like the way that people stand up for themselves when others put them down and they stick to what they know is right! Even though everyone looks down upon them they prove that they're wrong!" Hinata burst out. Jiraiya blinked.

"Right. Okay, you there, with the cool-looking buns." Ino pointed to herself. "In your hair."

"Me?" said Tenten. "I like a guy that's strong."

"Typical." He turned away. "Okay guys! Heh heh, tell me... Naruto. What do you like the most about girls? The curvy shape, the-"

"Eyes," Naruto said simple. Hinata's heart melted a little.

"Eyes?"

"Yeah," said Naruto. "Eyes." Jiraiya sighed.

"Come on, boy. When will you ever grow up? Come talk to me when you become a man. What about you, Kiba? What do you like."

"Hips," Kiba grinned.

"There we go," he said, giving the thumbs up. Others nodded in agreement!

"Ugh! Boys!" Tenten said disapprovingly, partly because Kiba was howling, and partly because she didn't have hips.

"Chouji, How about you?!" asked Jiraiya, who was apparently on a roll.

"Lips!" the boy said.

"Ahh, poetry. Okay, you, the quiet one. Shino, is it? How about you?"

No answer.

"Or do you go the other way?"

Shino's dark glasses gleamed. "I like bugs."

"..."

Jiraiya coughed and turned to Lee. He took one look at him and turned to Neji.

"How about you?" Neji crossed his arms and looked down.

"I prefer... a quiet woman." The class pondered his statement-even Jiraiya was confused. Then a light bulb clicked over his head.

"Ohhh, in bed. I got cha," he said, pleased. Neji 'pffed' and glared.

"I didn't say that. I said a quiet woman. Just quiet."

"Like, doesn't talk?" asked Kiba.

"Yes. They're less annoying that way," he stated, and Tenten growled and said something under her breath that sounded like 'asshole!' Kiba gasped.

"I knew it! I knew you had the hots for Hinata! She's your cousin!"

"What? No! I never said that-" Neji started but Jiraiya threw up his hands and ushered silence.

"Enough, you two. Neji's sexual preferences are to be respected. Everyone is to be respected, no mattter how abnormal, ordinary, or kinky they are. We're not here to judge people, we're here to learn! And lastly, Shikamaru. What do you like?"

"Intelligence," Shikamaru said simply and shrugged. And after that Ino sulked.

"Excellent ice-breaker! See how much you've leared about eachother already?" said Jiraiya, stuffing away his little notebook. "Now we get to the good stuff. So. Sex-"

A fist thrust into the air. "What's sex, exactly?" asked Naruto.

Sorry, another obvious cut-off.

So... What did you think? Did it amuse you... or annoy you? Reviews appreciated!