Chapter 2
Pinch.
The seagulls were still flying in circles above my head.
Pinch.
The air still smelled salty, alright.
Pinch.
Yep, water still existed. But to make sure…
I eyed the cannonball pyramid close by.
…
The cannonball is very heavy. Cannonball is real, no question.
Splash.
Yep, water is cold and real and tastes disgusting.
"VICE-ADMIRAL! WE JUST LOST A CANNONBALL!"
"BWAHAHAHA, our new recruit is already testing out sharpshooting?"
Loud Garp and crew are also very real.
I tested those earlier by introducing my head to various objects on board. They approached me instead of vanishing into thin air, so I know that they are real, too.
I double tested the ship's existence that way as well. Also, walking on a ship is not easy. I tested the planks multiple times with my face.
I might've even come to the conclusion that walking on this ship especially was made more difficult because it was so big and there were so many people that I had to dodge. Because these marines don't care about a cabinboy… cabingirl.
That's also something I am not too happy with. Why does the marine uniform read 'cabinboy'? Is this discrimination?
I shook my head to get back to the more important topic that I should be addressing right now.
Oh god. I somehow managed to join the marines. In One Piece. I joined the marines in One Piece under Garp. I joined the marines in One Piece under Garp as a mere cabingirl.
How did this happen? Why did this happen?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO GET THIS SHITTY ROUTE INSTEAD OF BEING A COOL PIRATE?!
I glanced around but there was not a single marine to be seen on the whole deck. Damn bastards are having breakfast. Why am I not getting any breakfast? Why am I the only one who has to work for it? This was not fair! Even worse was the thought that someone out there was getting served food that was made by Sanji and I have to starve out here until a ship's deck that was way too big looked clean.
…I should stop thinking about food. Especially that Sanji's food was a thing. A thing I will never taste if I can't get out of here…
I bumped against the railing. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a dark shadow dive under the ship. Would that thing have snacked on me if I fell over board? Why is there no one to look out for me? What if I did fall over board?!
Forget joining the Strawhats, this life was way too dangerous. At least for someone like me. I want to get out of here.
I pulled out a piece of paper that I hid in my jacket pocket. At least these ugly white uniforms had pockets.
Hey, you R.O.B.
How do you expect me to do anything interesting when I'm stuck with the marines? I thought you wanted me to help you write an awesome alternative Strawhat adventure?
Instead of folding an airplane, I just took the piece of paper and threw it away as far as I could. It flew and then it began to drop and then a wind picked it up and let it fly in the opposite direction of what I had originally intended. The paper ball was gaining height. It was now above the ship sails and then it began to drop again. It hit the sails and descended quickly. It hit the ground approximately five meters away from me.
I was already running towards it to throw it back at the sea, but before I could reach out, a seagull picked it up and began flying away. Then, the seagull was picked out of the air by a very big fish that eyed me hungrily before it hit the water again.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" I swear I ripped out some hair accidentally.
"BWAHAHAHA! That's some warrior spirit in that shout. But that fish is a bit big for you – it's hard to kill them if you only have a mop. At least for you, bwahahahaha."
I believe that I now know how Nami feels every time Luffy says something stupid that has absolutely nothing to do with the problem they had to solve. It's that feeling of fatigue and despair you get when you know that nothing you do or say would change the current misconceptions, so you just go with it.
It took me a while to find Garp. The guy was never where his subordinates thought he was or he disappeared just when they wanted to point him out. In the end, I decided to check the same place I would be looking for Luffy if I needed to: in the kitchen. It was not as easy to find the kitchen than I thought it would be. Marine ships were just way too big for any person to find something without getting lost. At least Garp was true to his DNA and was indeed trying to puppy-eye the cooks into giving him more meat. I watched a while, trying to catch my breath from my 20-minute journey to the kitchen.
After a few failed attempts, Garp switched into trying to intimidate his crew into giving him access to the fridge, but that, too, was futile.
"You better take a seat; this," a mummy waved at Garp and the three cooks, "can take a while and you better not interrupt."
I took a second glance at the man who had just spoken with me and I had not mistaken in the mummy-part. The man – his voice was deep and raspy, so I guess he was male – was completely wrapped in white bandages from head to toe.
He was drinking some water through a straw and it looked so weird that the straw ended somewhere within these bandages. His uniform blended into his wraps almost perfectly.
It seemed that he noticed my stares and off-handedly said: "Don't worry, it's just a mere old flesh wound. Nothing serious."
I just stared even harder and finally answered dryly. "Being a marine sure is a dangerous job."
The mummy man huffed. "It is an unappreciated job, but someone has to make sure that the sea is safe for normal people."
I think that you, sir, have taken that ideology a bit too far if you ended up like this. "Pirates really are a problem, huh?"
The mummy started laughing and to my confusion he was so amused that he had to grab the edges of the barrel on which he sat so that he didn't fall off. "Pirates? Who is talking about pirates?" He cleared his throat and continued in a more serious tone: "Pirates are just humans and if you're strong enough, everyone can deal with them. No, the problem is not pirates. The real menace are the seakings."
"Wha-"
"Seakings are the most vicious and gluttonous species I have ever met! Have you ever seen one? A big one, not the ones here in the East Blue? Pure evil, I tell you. They eat ships; they even eat whole islands, if you let them. Pirates don't do that. They might pillage, they might kill, but they don't go out of their way to obliterate anything like seakings do."
Somewhere along the way, I got lost. Since when did marines hate seakings? Was this a thing? I don't it was ever mentioned in Oda's version. "I- I don't know what to say, to be honest."
"I can understand you perfectly. There are no words to describe the evil that is seakings ate my face."
If I had the chance to slowly inch away, I would probably do so but the kitchen was stuffed as it was and the barrel I was sitting on was a bit too heavy for me to move, so I just sat next to the mummy man and alternated between looking at my feet and back at Garp to check on his shenanigans and new strategies. He was trying the sneaky approach now.
After Garp went as far as to try and climb through a window behind the barrier of cooks (he dived under the ship to get to the window, a strategy Luffy would probably use as well if it weren't for his devilfruit), they gave him a steak and told him to keep away until it was time for dinner. He turned around, steak in his mouth, looked at me and only now noticed that I was present. Before he could ask me what I was doing here, I explained: "I finished cleaning the deck. It is now very shiny and very clean, unless something happened to it after I left, of course. Would it be possible for me to start training?"
Garp blinked and then started to laugh. The steak had disappeared while I gave him a status update which was good for him because else he would've chocked on it now. "Bwahaha! You're an eager one! Didn't expect that. Training, huh." Garp rubbed his chin slowly and furrowed his brows. "Training for a wimp that can't do anything yet and is physically incapable of lifting a metric ton… How about we throw you into the never-ending hole on Gravity island and let you climb out on your own?"
I wanted to protest that 'nothing' was a bit hard and that I had practiced Iaijutsu for a year and a half before I ended up in this world, but that changed quickly after his suggestion and turned into: "I don't think I can manage climbing out of a never-ending hole. How about we start with something else? Please?"
Garp went back to his thinking pose and grumbled something until: "How about we go to Roma Island and sign you up for one of the gladiator shows where you can fight tigers?"
Did this man understand how you are supposed to begin training? Okay, moot point. The way he 'trained' Luffy is enough of an argument that no, he did not understand how to treat a beginner.
Before I could protest this time, mummy joined the conversation. He tapped Garp on his shoulder to get his attention and then began to explain his view on things. "Vice-Admiral Garp, how about you leave this to me? I normally take care of the recruits, so I know how to deal with beginners. Since this is the East Blue we're talking about, we should go easy at first."
Mummy man! Thank you for understanding me! You may be a bit strange but at least you are human enough to feel pity.
Garp looked a bit disappointed if the way he sagged into his barrel was any indicator. "Fine, Nick. You take care of her training for now." And with that, Garp left.
I smiled at mummy man and I think he smiled back for a while. It was hard to tell, really.
"So, between running, swimming, and cycling: which do you prefer?"
One of these, I hated and another one was plain annoying after a while. So, my pick was clear the second he asked.
"Trust me, everything will be okay. You do your swimming and I will take care of the sea kings. I'll tie you to the ship so you won't drift off. Everything is perfectly safe. You get your training, we'll get more food reserves."
I hugged the mast while Nick tried to calm me down. "Those monsters will EAT me before you can do anything!"
Nick sighed. "They won't eat you if Vice-Admiral Garp eats them first. Remember that you were the one who wanted to train? It is also part of our duty to keep the ocean safe and seaking-free, so it is a perfect training for your marine career, too!"
Nick's approaches to get me into the water attracted some attention and soon we had a crowd of marines surrounding us, talking, and grinning. I even saw some money change hands.
Damn marines. Wait until I join the Strawhats. I'm so going to make you pay.
And then, the crowd opened a path for a big, sturdy, old man with a marine coat who frowned but started to grin when he realized what his men were staring at.
"Is that the training you came up with? Ripping out the mast is still too hard for our new recruit if she can't even work up the courage to fight tigers, Nick. Though nice try, I admit that. It's almost good enough to be one of my ideas. Bwahahaha!"
Nick stopped coming up with new arguments to make me let go of the wood and turned to his superior. Hands resting on his hips, he sighed.
"Vice-Admiral Garp, I've been trying to get her to build some muscle by starting with training she might like. When she said she liked swimming, I thought that would be a good start. But suddenly, she seems to be scared of the water."
Garp blinked once, then another time and then again.
"Maybe she's just shy?" Garp mumbled to himself more than to the crowd. But since this is Garp, his voice was still loud enough to be heard by everyone near us and a few marines tried to stifle their laughter while others did not care to cover up their amusement.
That's not the damn reason, old man. Stop being such an idiot. I can't swim in this death trap ocean full of abominations that shouldn't exist.
Too busy to mentally insult the geezer, I didn't notice how he walked towards me and Nick until he was standing right next to me.
"Sometimes you have to throw them straight in because they are just too embarrassed to start training even if they want to." With these words, he picked me up and pulled me away from the mast as if I weighed nothing more than a feather. The mast, however, was not left undamaged. My fingernails left deep trails in the wood and I wasn't sure if the wood was whining because of pain or if that was me, dreading what came next.
Then, Garp started to pull back the arm that was holding me. Before I could form any thought equivalent to 'Oh no', I hit the water. Hard.
One positive experience: No monster tried to eat me before I could reach the surface again and take a deep breath.
Negative experience: Two seakings surfaced about 10 seconds later.
"Wooh! Two seakings right away! Good job! Keep attracting them! We will clean the ocean and fill our food reserve in no time!"
"Great idea, Nick!" some marines cheered. Something told me that they didn't share the same goal and just wanted to see me struggle. I'd like to see you in my situation, how about you cheer then?
"Meat!"
The last one, if not obvious, was Garp who now had stars for eyes and was drooling.
I did not know what to be pissed at more: that I was used as bait for some fish or that I was the one who made this situation possible by dumb life choice. I should have just said that I was a born coach potato and that I planned to keep it that way, only exercising my brain.
"Hey, girl, if you don't start swimming, we will leave you behind!"
"Yeah, we don't want that because then we won't be able to pull in all the meat! So, hurry up!"
I scowled at the marines that were standing at the railing and grinning and shouting and... jumping at the sea kings, kicking them in the head and then dragging them closer to the ship. Those that were not fighting seakings pulled the dead one up to the deck and dragged them off to, presumably, the kitchen. Nick was standing on the railing and shooting harpoons at seakings only using his bare hands. Or at least his hands were as bare as they can get while being covered in bandages. Garp was long gone. He sank his teeth into one of the first seakings and got dragged along by his men. I wish I could do that, too. Maybe I'd get food poisoning or something but I wouldn't face an almost impossible task.
There's no way I could keep up with a ship, but at least I could try to do my best. It's not like the ship could be very fast when half the crew was trying to stock up on meat to fill their captain's stomach, right? Right?!
That's when I saw someone go up to Nick, whisper something, and point at me. Nick stopped shooting at the seakings for a while and watched me closely. He nodded to the other guy and shouted: "Hey, new recruit! We forgot to tow you to the ship! So… you have to swim quicker if you want to come back on board!"
...Damnit, Garp. I blame you because you threw me into the water without thinking.
I started to swim towards the ship as fast as I could to make up the ever-increasing distance.
Two hours later, I had to be pulled out of the water by some marines, before I drowned because I couldn't move a muscle anymore. Crazy training might be an anime thing, but it's unfair that anime has the concept of exhaustion just like real life does.
The sea king count of the day: Twenty-eight.
A/N: Hi again! So, how do weekly updates sound? I'll try to post in the 24-hour frame that I call Wednesday which may or may not coincide with your Wednesday. See you next week!