Coronation Part 2: Party Crashers
It was the Princess's coronation day today! The folks of the kingdom have been waiting eighteen long years for this festival, and they're certainly not going to hold back now! They've endured days upon days of tireless rehearsing should the need to break into dance impromptu ever arise. They know how Rapunzel is with square-dancing, so they might as well look good while they're at it.
The feast had been prepared, and like moths to a light they will come. The shop-lots had been closed for the holiday, the streets packed. Children were running through in their sparkling princess gowns and Flynn Rider get-ups, faces pink with mirth as they reenact scenes of damsels and dudes in distress. The crowd streaming their way into the castle courtyard, mingling amidst the bedecked imperial colors of circus tents and jester parades, while above a multitude of flags fluttered in the flower-scented breath of the morning breeze.
Also, there was fighting. Yes, there was much fighting with swords and frying pans and skull-hilted axes, and screams of agonizing pain in this happy summer holiday.
An arrow crashed through the window of Eugene's room.
If it weren't for the coronation today, he would have gone for the usual 'white cotton shirt, teal leather vest, keep one unbuttoned to reveal the faintest hint of chest hair (the ladies like)' get-up. But today, out of an obligation to decorum, and a personal promise to Rapunzel, he had to don the ceremonial 'prince uniform', even though he wasn't a prince yet, all stripes and sashes, with the maroon beret, and shoulder-guards that made him look broader than he was. The collar was itchy and restraining, and the pants a little too tight, but Eugene assured himself that this was the last and only day he would be wearing this costume. Until his wedding day, that is. "It's Her Highness's coronation," the page would remind him, "You do want to look smart, don't you?" No, he didn't want to look smart. He just wanted to look himself, the way Rapunzel wanted him to be. He took a look at his mirror - for mere seconds before a stray arrow broke it - and he had to admit, he did look pretty good. He could only imagine how Rapunzel would look like.
He examined the damage on the window, and took a peek outside, saw some form of rioting going on at the palace gates. Nay, not a rioting, an invasion. Neanderthal-esque men, thugs, the saltiest scum of the earth, and . . . a mime? Eugene clasped the bridge of his nose. Okay, so now this was serious.
He rushed out the bedroom.
"Barricade the gates! Ready the oil!"
"RAAAARGH!"
The eight-feet tall man-bear creature known to his puny mortal friends as Vladmir charged through the phalanx of guards as if they were paperweights, launching some of then in majestic arcs through the skies of Corona Kingdom. Eugene ducked just in time to see some airborne guards whiz above him and land in a fortituously-placed stack of hay, and continued his casual walk towards the little scene forming at the gates, munching on an apple. The people outside were staying well away, the people inside the courtyard, watching curiously. Maybe this was some sort of presentation, a display of the Imperial Guard's skill and strength. While it failed to accomplish that, they were still enjoying the show.
Eugene sailed down the battlements and onto the other side of the castle, where the thugs were trying to pummel their way in using an uprooted tree.
"Some welcome wagon this is!" came the infuriated, gravelly cry of Hook-hand as he approached, "First they block us from coming in, now they sent Rider here to greet us!"
"Rider? What the hell, Rider!" yelled Big-nose, automatically presuming this to be his fault on the sole account that he was Rider.
"Great to see you too, guys," he said, leaning on a lamppost. He threw a casual glance at the pummel, hoping that his diplomacy skills worked as well with the same gender. "So? Sieging the palace gates, eh? Just the usual?"
"You wanna tell the guys to let up?" said Hook-hand in mid-uppercut, knocking the molars off one guard, "Atilla's cupcakes are getting soggy!"
"Sooooggy!" came the exclamation. Eugene took a few cautious steps back.
"I'm really glad you guys decided to show up, really, I've missed you. I didn't know you cared. But see, the thing is, Hook-hand, we can't let you in. Or any of you," he said, rubbing an invisible itch at the back of his neck. He couldn't tell them that they would mess up Rapunzel's big day, they wouldn't understand. They were third-class pillaging Huns without an inkling about protocol or etiquette as one would get. But then again, so was he. How was he supposed to handle this? So he said, "This is an invite-only ceremony."
There was a pause in the pummeling as the siege-men froze and simultaneously turned to look at him. Even the guards stopped, confused by the sudden lull. Everyone was staring dumbfounded at Eugene.
Hook-hand's eyebrows knitted into a frown. "What are you talking about? Of course we know that! We knew this was an invite-only ceremony, right, guys?"
"Yeah! We got them cards! See?" Big-nose handed the royal invitation letter to him. It looked completely legitimate, and Eugene knew this because it was written in pink and was near-saturated with flowers and exclamation marks. It had Rapunzel written all over it, figuratively speaking. He doubted they could have forged this.
"So you gonna let us in or what?" Killer said.
"Yeah, we wanna see Rapunzel! Ain't seen her in a year!"
He sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. But if Rapunzel chose this . . .
He pantomimed the act of washing his hands clean, an act that Uwf imitated for the sheer fun of it. "No skin off my teeth. I'll tell the guards you've got seats waiting for you."
"Oh, no need for that," Hook-hand said, "We were just being polite and all, acting like it was hard." He turned to the thug army, "Okay, fellas, smash 'em through!"
They dropped the tree and ran away, all except Vladmir, who smashed through the door. That wasn't an expression, Vladmir didn't feel like opening the door, so he just raised one large steel base and cap boot, and smashed it of its frame, like a fist flying out of a particularly powerful jack in the box. Two tons of reinforced teak fell to the ground in a wall of dust.
"YEAAAAAAH!"
"Okay, so how do I look?" Rapunzel said, twirling her gossamer-fine lavender dress for Her Majesty to see. She got the approval from her maids in the form of squeals and giggles, and a charming smile from the Queen.
"You will be the envy of the party," the Queen said, "I know many girls who would do anything just to look like you."
"Well, that's silly," she said with a frown, though inside she was beaming.
"Of course, part of it has to do with all the suitors whom you've managed to catch," the Queen said with a wink.
She flushed scarlet, "Are you talking about Eugene?"
"Naturally I was referring to all the guards, kitchen-boys and gardeners who have been ogling you for quite a while now, but I guess I have Eugene to thank for keeping them at bay."
Rapunzel became even more startled. "Gardeners?" Now that she mentioned it, Blake has been spending more time hoeing outside her balcony . . .
"Eugene's one lucky man." The Queen took her by the hand just as the final touches to her hair was made, "Come. I have a surprise for you." They walked down the corridor.
Rapunzel's eyes reached saucer-wide proportions, and a sunshine-sweet smile burst across her face. "Hazelnut soup?"
"Oh, Rapunzel," the Queen chuckled, having grown accustomed to the strange answers her daughter gave, "Not hazelnut soup, no. I sent out invitations to all the fiefs and noble estates, inviting them to attend your coronation. Most of your friends have already confirmed their attendance, among some which I can recall, a certain Princess Tiana -"
Rapunzel leapt and squealed excitedly. "Tiana! Tiana's coming! Ee!" She clapped her hands, then paused as another name came forward, "What about Lady Anabelle?"
"Anabelle? Yes, I do believe there was an Anabelle Mary di Sterlin -"
She inhaled sharply, unable to contain herself. Without warning, she rushed out to the door that led into the main courtyard. "Oh, I can't wait for them to meet Eugene, and Pascal, and Maximus, and my friends from the Snuggly Duckling!"
The smile from the Queen's face was wiped clean off. "Rapunzel? What was that about the Snuggly Duckling?"
Before she could catch up, Rapunzel pushed the twin doors open, into the sunlight, and everything in the courtyard froze. Eugene and the Captain had been in the midst of some animated shouting row, but upon seeing her, they were now both looking very sickly-pale, and then Eugene took the easy way out by pretending to faint. Hook-hand, Killer, Bruiser, Fang, Vladmir, and Big-nose were paused in mid-brawl with Maximus, who seemed to have the upper hand, fists floating and weapons reared high. And in the centre of the courtyard, looking mightily displeased, were all the dukes, duchesses, lords and ladies, princes and princesses, and counts and countesses, looking faint enough to be carried away by the wind. King Hendrick looked ready to lapse into a heart attack, and Countess Cruella was just waiting, waiting to throw one of her world-famous tantrums.
Rapunzel noticed Tiana and Anabelle somewhere in the crowd, and she waved, happily. "Yay! You're all here!"