Chapter 2

Stephanie pushed back the hard lump in her throat and letting out a shaky breath, she smiled at Shawn as she desperately tried to stay in control. Now was not the time to be losing it; not when there were over seventy people in the congregation. The same seventy people who would never guess that she was standing here feeling like her heart was breaking in two. After all, this was meant to be the happiest day of her life. The day she got to marry the man of her dreams. Or so they thought.

The truth was she'd been in a constant battle with herself all morning trying to decide the best thing to do for everyone. And the best thing was probably the easiest choice if she was honest. And when she'd finally made that choice, she'd been okay with it right up until the point when she had walked down the aisle and saw him standing there waiting. Paul. The guy with the most incredible brown eyes she had ever seen and the man responsible for turning her whole world upside down on its head. God, she had wanted nothing more than for him to be the person she was marrying today but she simply lacked the courage of her convictions. Her head was overriding her heart and she was so torn. Why did this have be so hard? Why did she have to be so confused?

Stephanie felt the tears start to well in her eyes and she quickly blinked them back. She loved Shawn. She did. That's why she had agreed to marry him in the first place. But if she was being honest with herself, she was no longer in love with him. Shawn was her best friend. He was dependable and reliable and was always there for her but unfortunately for Stephanie that didn't seem to be enough; not any more. Not now that she had met Paul and for the first time in forever she felt so alive.

From the very second she had seen him she had fallen in love with him. And that had thrown her for a loop because she's never been a big believer in love at first sight. In fact, she had been sure it just didn't exist and had ridiculed anyone who claimed it to be true. That was until the night her life had changed forever and her blue eyes had met Paul's across that room and she had felt it. It was an intense rush of emotions she had never experienced before. They had completely floored her. She remembered the way she had been drawn to him. Her whole body had tingled as he had smiled at her with that amazing smile of him. She had been completely blown away by him and if she was honest with herself, she still was. Paul was so warm and sincere. He made her laugh and it just felt so right when she was with him. The more she had gotten to know him, the more amazing she realised he was. Right up until the night she had found out he was Shawn's best friend.

The low drone of the minister's voice snapped Stephanie from of her thoughts as she realised that the wedding ceremony had begun. However, she was unable to focus on what was being said as she tried to reassure herself that she was doing absolutely the right thing. She could never consciously hurt Shawn. He just didn't deserve that. Shawn had been nothing but faithful and loyal to her throughout their three year relationship and now she was going to return that loyalty by agreeing to become his wife. It was her only choice. It was the best thing for everyone involved.

Stephanie shifted her feet on the marble floor beneath her and that was when she felt him. She could feel Paul's eyes watching her from behind Shawn's shoulder. She tried her hardest not to look at him. If she did, she knew her resolve would break and she wouldn't go through with this. Paul had told her that he understood and respected her decision to marry Shawn but she knew that after today, she would never see him again. He had told her he would cut all contact with them and not because he wanted to. It was because it would hurt him too much to see Shawn live happily ever after with the woman he loved. He had told her he couldn't pretend she was nothing more than a friend to him; not with the way he felt about her. He just wasn't built that way.
Stephanie tried not to cry as Paul's words echoed in her mind, haunting her. His brown eyes had been filled with such sadness and pain. She knew she had broken his heart and for that she would never ever forgive herself.

"Steph."

She felt the slight nudge in her side and glanced round to see Shawn smile and whisper to her.

"It's your turn to say I do." he prompted.

She forced a smile as her stomach twisted into a giant knot. She felt nauseous as she realised that there was no turning back now. This was it. This was the start of the rest of her life. So why did it feel more like the end of something?

She could feel everyone's eyes on her as they waited for her to give her answer. She suddenly felt the overwhelming need to turn around and run as fast as she could away from here and away from everyone but her feet remained rooted to the spot. She would be far too scared to face the repercussions of her actions if she didn't go ahead with this wedding. It was what everyone wanted. It was what everyone expected. Stephanie looked towards the minister and her voice was barely a whisper as she uttered the two words that would change absolutely everything.

"I do."

As she felt Shawn squeeze her hand, she felt her heart sink. She knew there was no turning back now and she was just going to have to find a way to live with the consequences of her actions. She was simply going to have to find a way to survive without Paul.