Chapter 3
Disclamer: I'm broke. Do you think JP, writer of bestselling books, would be broke? No. He is probably at this very moment sitting beside his swimming pool eating caviar. Or whatever it is rich people do with their time. I don't even like caviar.
A/N: I'm really, really, reaaallly sorry for not updating sooner. I do actually feel bad. So I finished the next 20 I was planning to post months ago, and I'll try to update again soon, next week at the latest. I'd like to thank a friend for coming up with #31 and 32, but I guess I can't thank her since she probably won't read this. And also, thanks to feathersofbronze for #51. I just changed 'cat' to 'dog', because of Total.
So, please don't kill me for taking so long to update, and enjoy. And if you have any suggestions for the next chapter, please include them in you review. Assuming anyone will review. :)
31.Your idea of adventure is going to the mall all by yourself.
32.It took you five minutes to figure out that the reason the car wouldn't start was because the keys weren't in the ignition. So...you might not wanna jump off a cliff. (Remembering you're only flapping one wing seconds before meeting your doom isn't a good thing)
33. You spaz out at the slightest problem.
34.You have obsessive-compulsive disorder. It just wouldn't be convenient to wash your hands 16 times whenever they get dirty, count every wingbeat, or try to knock out an exact number of Erasers in every fight.
35.You are incapable of getting up earlier than 8:00 a.m.
36.You would rather get caught and brought back to the School than have to fend for yourself.
37.Having a talking dog—or any equally unusual animal for that matter—traveling with you would drive you mad.
38.You'd rather watch TV than go bungee jumping.
39.You don't work well in groups.
40.A bug is enough to scare the crap out of you.
41.You frequently drop things. Let's just hope that won't happen while you're flying, and it won't drop on someone's head.
42.When you're asleep, a foghorn blowing in your face couldn't wake you. Or several Erasers attacking, for that matter.
43.You have an aversion to dark, scary-looking caves. And lets not forget the numerous bats that might call that cave home.
44.You endanger yourself and anyone else around you when attempting anything that requires a high level of coordination. Good luck with learning how to fight. Or fly.
45.You haven't the slightest idea of how to prepare a meal for yourself, even if it's just ravioli in a can.
46.A crash landing, for you, is the only kind of landing.
47.You wouldn't be capable of jumping through a window to escape only moments after being removed from an isolation tank.
48.Forget jumping through a window, you wouldn't even be able to play dead so you'd be taken out of the isolation tank.
49.In extremely stressful situations, every one of your brain cells mysteriously disappears.
50.Your skills don't include picking locks, building bombs, reading minds, super speed, computer hacking, or invisibility.
51.You're too weak to lift a small dog. So forget carrying said dog for hours on end, while flying.