Chapter 2 – Va'Seras
Tali awoke to the sound of a gentle, if persistent, tapping. Rolling over in her bunk, she tried to ignore the noise and go back to sleep, and then groaned when she remembered her roommate, Naria, was working early. Heaving herself out of the bed with a less than gracious air, Tali staggered to the typically bland steel-grey door. "Who is it?" She asked, her forearm cushioning her helmet as she rested her head against the wall, eyes blinking heavily in an effort to clear the fuzz of sleep from her mind.
"Yer boss, we got a problem down in engineering."
Tali stifled a yawn. "Bardi, it's…" the young quarian glanced at the chronometer that hung above the dresser, "barely past five. Can't it wait until a more holy hour?"
"You know as well as I do that breakages wait for no one." came the gruff response. "C'mon, let's see how creative you can be in the wee hours of the mornin'."
Tali sighed and pushed herself away from the wall. "Fine, it'll be worth coming down just to see you mangle your own thumb with a hammer because you were half asleep."
The young quarian could have sworn she heard a chortle from the other side of the door.
The two engineers tromped their way through the ship, Bardi's ever present and well worn drive wrench bouncing gently against his leg with every step. The Rayya was surprisingly active for such an early hour, at least by the standards of non-quarians. Life on the quarian ships and indeed, through their society as a whole, never truly stopped. Each ship ran its crew in two shifts, the first covering the day whilst the second slept, and vice versa. As a result, quarians had gotten used to being surrounded by the constant noise and hubbub of everyday life every minute of the day. Most of the community, having known little else, had adjusted so much that the concept of silence and solitude were alien concepts.
Thus, Tali and Bardi's footfalls went unnoticed by the rest of the crew, with only early risers and those on shift noticing and inclining their heads in greeting. Some of the more outgoing hailed them with waves or raised hands and though their faces were hidden away behind tinted visors, Tali knew many of them well enough to know they would be smiling. Eventually, the duo made it to engineering, their footsteps ringing with a metallic echo as they stepped off the service ladder and onto the metal grille floor. Power conduits flowed under their feet and an incomprehensible maze of wires twisted and turned over their heads, disappearing behind large, metal fluid tubes before reappearing further along the corridor.
Though the Rayya, old as she was, hummed steadily it was down here, closer to the engines where the noise was much more amplified; though luckily it wasn't loud enough to interfere with conversation. The ship throbbed with energy as they neared the engine compartments, huge cylindrical devices with small windows that exposed the energy converters which glowed a deep blue, occasionally tinged with crackles of yellow from electrical discharges. Tali found herself looking about, trying to pinpoint any problems she could define visually before Bardi explained the details to her. Instead, the older quarian caught her off guard by heading for the tool cabinet. Curiously, Tali followed.
"Normally you prefer to see a problem for yourself before deciding what you're going to need." Tali observed as Bardi neared the cabinet.
"Well miss Zorah, this ain't normal circumstances." He replied, unlocking the decades old cabinet and pulling something out from within.
He turned to Tali, a nondescript and somewhat tattered box in his arms. "Listen," he began awkwardly, "I know yer Va'Seras isn't 'til later, but I wanted ta give you this now." He abruptly thrust the box out toward her, helmet dipped slightly towards the floor as if embarrassed. "I think you'll understand why."
Tali took the box reluctantly, wondering what could be inside that would set old Bardi on edge so. True, he might not have been the most emotional of quarians but still…she could sense that there was more to it than that. "Bardi…I don't want to…if this means that much to you…"
"Keelah girl, would ya open it already? I didn't put it in that box just so's you could stare at it!" Despite his tone, Tali could hear the amusement in his voice. Not wanting to appear ungrateful she carefully took the box apart, an involuntary gasp escaping when she glimpsed the contents.
"Bardi, this is…"
"An Omni-tool." He supplied helpfully. "Indispensable for engineers such as ourselves, capable of performing trillions of calculations per second, running diagnostics on complex equipment, field assembly and repairs, small emergency medical procedures and finally my personal favourite, providing a built-in flash light."
He paused, appearing to regain some of his confidence.
"Batteries not included."
Tali almost smacked him, but at the same time had to choke back a burst of laughter. "You make a horrible salesman Bardi." She managed finally.
"Just call me 'Bil 'e Maiz' missy." He responded, referring to a famous quarian salesperson.
"But still, this is an Omni-tool Bardi, they're not cheap. I'm lucky enough to have one of my own as it is never mind two."
It was true; Omni-tools were both indispensable and hard to come by in the fleet. As such, they were prioritized to the sections that needed them most and more often than not were swapped between crewmembers as they rotated shifts. Tali had received hers when assigned to engineering many years ago and her father had pulled some strings to get her a personal one. Tali had felt lucky enough then but the idea of receiving a second one now…it was mind boggling.
"Bardi…why are you giving me this?"
"Because that galaxy, well, it might seem enticing an' all missy, but in truth it's a very dangerous place. I wanna send you off as best prepared as I can." He shrugged self-consciously. "Besides, you wouldn't want me worrying about you an' getting meself electrocuted 'cause I wasn't concentrating now would ya?"
Impulsively, Tali threw her arms around him, sparking an embarrassed chuckle from the man.
"Steady on missy, I haven't had a pretty girl throw herself at me like that in over a century."
"Thank you for this Bardi, I know it can't have been easy for you to get."
"Don't thank me just yet," the ex-marine replied, briefly placing his arms around Tali in a more manly hug before lowering her to the floor, "with the customisations I programmed into that it'll either work like a dream or blow up in yer face."
Tali's eyes snapped back to Bardi's. "You customised an Omni-tool? I didn't think that was possible! I mean, not beyond usual user optimization."
Her old mentor grinned, the faintest traces of his teeth reflecting in his visor. "I might have taught you a lot Tali, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeves. Well, I might have. If these suits had sleeves…"
She shook her head at him. "I don't think I'll ever be able to properly thank you for this Bardi."
The engineer laid his hand on her shoulder, suddenly serious again. "You just make sure you come back in one piece, ya hear?"
Tali nodded, suddenly overcome with such emotion that she didn't trust herself to speak.
"Now then, how about we get to some breakfast, seeing as that little emergency sorted itself out right proper eh?"
This time she did slap him.
Hours later, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya stood in front of her roommate Naria'Pael vas Rayya, overcome with such paranoia that she didn't know whether to sit or stand, laugh or weep. "Are you sure it looks alright?" She asked for the fifth time in as many minutes, brushing imagined creases in her suit's fabrics smooth. Naria laughed, her head slipping back and ruffling the delicate sky blue veil that covered the back of her head and neck.
"Tali you look just as fine now as you did two seconds ago." Pushing herself up from the bed she grabbed Tali's roving hands and held them firmly at her sides. "Trust me, you won't find any more wrinkles, everything is as perfect as you can make it."
Tali sighed deeply before finally nodding. Naria let go and Tali took a step back, having to consciously force herself from searching her suit for imperfections. "Sometimes I really wish we had mirrors."
Naria giggled. "It would make things a lot easier wouldn't it?" As if an idea just struck her, she stepped forward and gestured to Tali, glancing about her exaggeratedly as if expecting someone to try and listen in, a completely unnecessary action as they were sharing the room alone. "Perhaps you could bring some back as your pilgrimage gift," she whispered, "you'd have all us girls spending our last chit to get one of them."
Tali snorted. "I'm sure a mirror would impress my father."
Naira sighed, sinking back onto the bed. "You need to stop worrying about that you know; once you get out there all you need to focus on is doing the best you can."
"Easy for you to say," Tali responded casually, "you've completed your Pilgrimage."
Naria nodded. "True and I didn't do too badly for myself, because I concentrated on being the best I could at what I did. Let's be honest Tali, you barely need to concentrate to be the best engineer out there. Someone's going to see you for what you're worth and then, well, you'll be struggling to pick just one gift to bring back."
Tali ran her elongated fingers along the edge of the dresser dejectedly. "I hope so."
"You'll do fine," Naria finished in a tone that brokered no argument, "now for pity's sake brighten up! This is your Va'Seras after all, you should be excited!"
It was hard not to get infected with Naria's exuberance and Tali felt an unbidden smile curl up the corners of her mouth. Abruptly she cast aside her worries and doubts and swung around gleefully.
"I'm going on my Pilgrimage!" She declared happily, provoking an appreciative squeal from her roommate as they embraced.
"That's more like you!" Naria exclaimed, "Now finish up quick or we'll be late for the shuttle to the Morana."
The Morana, the second of three great Liveships supplying the quarian people with a constant source of agricultural food, was the largest of its sister vessels by a good margin. Currently flying in the approximate 'center' of the fleet's haphazard formation, the Morana had been slightly better maintained than its counterparts and this, in addition to its size, had led to the ship hosting many of the more fleet-wide cultural events. Tali had only been aboard twice before, once when her childhood friend Zeras'Boa nar Geddar had set off on his own pilgrimage three years ago, from which he had yet to return, and when her father became an admiral, almost ten years ago. Walking through the ship's great corridors, packed to the brim with boxes of various supplies, Tali felt distant memories stir that provoked clashing emotions. She'd never been as sad as she had been to say goodbye to Zeras and she'd never been more proud of her father than when he'd been promoted, even if she was too young to understand the full significance of it all then.
Tali was directed to join the rest of the children destined to begin their pilgrimage the following day and soon found herself in a large room occupied by nearly 100 other quarians, all approximately her age. She barely had time to get her bearings when a large door on the other side of the room began to open. Falling into line with the rest of the adolescents, Tali stepped tentatively into the large semi-sphere room where the Va'Seras was being held, fighting off her temptation to hide as best she could behind her peers. I am the daughter of an Admiral. She reminded herself sternly. I will hold myself to that. The room, bathed in soft white light, was filled with hundreds if not thousands more quarians: loving family members, good friends, well wishing crewmates who'd managed to work their shifts around in order to attend. Though she couldn't immediately spot anyone she knew in the sea of vibrantly coloured environmental suits, Tali was overwhelmed by the notion that even a fraction of this number were here solely for her. A hushed silence had spread over a room that had just a few seconds ago been swarming with conversation, each quarian's visor on the dozens of children as they stood at the top of the semi-circular stairs, awaiting permission to enter.
Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay, Voice of the Admiralty Board and Tali'Zorah's adopted aunt, stood on a pedestal with the other Admirals, each head and shoulders above the crowd. Stepping forward, Shala'Raan spread her arms wide for silence and began to speak with a soft, old voice that carried a slight raspy edge.
"Weclome children on this, the last of your days as a child of the Migrant fleet."
Though the words were spoken in a somber tone, Tali felt a trill shoot up her spine at the ceremonial invitation. The other quarians sharing her Va'Seras felt it too, she could tell. They stood that much straighter, heads that much higher.
As one, the group took a step forward, knelt and spoke in one voice. "May we serve to further our people through our actions. May we uphold the honour of the quarians. May both our departure and eventual return benefit the fleet gloriously, may we learn to appreciate true family, and may Keelah guide us all."
"Enter children," Shala intoned warmly in response, "and be blessed. Keelah Se'lai."
The soon-to-be pilgrims stood. "Keelah Se'lai."
Abruptly the room descended into joyful chaos as the nearest quarians sprang forward and dragged each of the children into the crowd, slapping their backs good naturedly and pushing them through the crowd where countless others cried their blessings and good natured jokes over the young honorees.
"Keelah Se'lai little ones! "
"Try not to get lost out there!"
"Bring us back something nice, or don't come back at all!"
"Make sure you don't eat something without scanning it first!"
"If you see a krogan, run!"
Various names were shouted as quarians tried to get the attention of those they knew over the hubbub, no easy task. Some of the adolescents became lost in the crowd, forced to endure the advice and friendly teasing of people they'd never met. Others managed to locate someone they knew and were faced with wading through the sea of environment suits to reach them.
Tali was one of the lucky ones, finding herself being dragged across the room by none other than Naria who had somehow managed to navigate her slight frame through the crowd to steal her away. "Naria slow down!" cried Tali, trying not to laugh despite worrying about offending potential well wishers. Naria did so, but only long enough to bring them both to a halt in front of most of the Rayya's crew. All her friends were there, Har'fa, Teala'Zera, old Grulan the ship's chief cook and of course Bardi. Tali even spotted her auntie Shala slowly making her way there through the throng. Grulan was the first to grab her, pulling her into a hug that lifted the young female clean off her feet.
"Grulan!" Tali cried, suddenly grateful the visor hid her burning cheeks.
"Ah, our little baby Tali, she's all grown up!" He lowered her gently to the floor and Tali could have sworn his visor was misty. "I still remember you toddling in and out of my kitchens as a young babe, poking around in the cabinets for snacks."
"Grulan, I didn't board the Rayya after birth until I was 14, and that was to fix your flash-heaters!"
The cook shook his head firmly. "No no, I remember it, sure as a krogan's ugly. You wore a sky blue suit back then."
"I've never worn a blue environmental suit."
"…Hmm…Perhaps it was your roommate then, little Naria." He threw up his hands in sudden exasperation. "There's so many of you these days, it taxes an old man's brain remembering you all!"
"It's alright Grulan, we all remember you." Said Naria.
"Yes, especially the way you tried to poison us that one time you boiled the chun'kata nuts instead of the irals." Jibed Har'a, earning both a chuckle and an elbow in the ribs from Teela, his mischievous partner in crime.
Naria scowled. "Don't listen to them Grulan, knowing those two they probably swapped them when you weren't looking."
Har'a turned up his arms at the elbow, palms up, head angled to one side, a gesture of innocence. "Naria, you hurt me."
"Wait 'til I place my boot between your legs."
The two boisterous males fell apart laughing, immediately responding with catcalls and invitations to do precisely that. Naria ignored them and Tali caught her eye; tapping her visor lightly with her index finger, exactly where her mouth would be. The gesture was a quarian signal for the most genuine, heartfelt smile they could give. Naria returned the motion, dipping her head in acknowledgement.
After that, Tali became lost in the sea of old friends and family, graciously accepting well wishes and gifts as they were presented, thanking each of them for coming and making promises to visit each of them again upon her return. Before long she found herself outfitted with a basic personal shield system, slightly outdated but functional, as well as a well used Kessler I pistol. Only Bardi seemed to be conspicuously absent in the gift giving and Tali caught a number of the Rayya's crew glancing at him pointedly. She could see them whispering to each other about him and she felt the hackles on the back of her neck rise in response. Bardi simply ignored it all, and Tali felt her appreciation of him soar. She realized he'd not only given her a gift far grander than any she could have hoped to receive but he'd also known he'd have to endure this discrimination. She understood why he'd done it of course; he hadn't wanted to show her father up by giving her a gift of such value in front of the entire fleet. Tali only hoped that she could be both so respectful and discreet one day.
And speaking of her father, she caught a glimpse of a familiar white/red helmet making its way toward her through the crowd. She'd seen him earlier of course, when he and the other Admirals watched the soon-to-be pilgrims accept Shala's ritual invitation but seeing him coming to speak directly to her filled her with a sense of both anticipation and dread. As much as Tali loved her father she always hated their stilted conversations; she wanted them to be something more, a conversation in which he finally showed her some tenderness but even as she hoped for it, the realist in Tali knew it would never happen. Her father was too tied to his duties, too sincere, too reserved even before her mother had succumbed to infection almost five years ago. With her passing, Tali had given up all hope of receiving any affection from him.
"Hello Tali'Zorah." Her father greeted her solemnly.
Tali dipped her head in greeting. "Hi Dad, how was the trip from the Alarei?"
"Largely uneventful, though we were a bit late thanks to a minor fault with the shuttle's drive core."
"Nothing serious I hope?"
"No, a few minutes re-configuring the algorithms and we were ready to go. How was your immunodeficiency treatment?" he asked politely.
Tali shook her head. "I thought the treatment was supposed to boost my immune system, not leave me feeling like I'd been exposed to pure hydrillis for a week."
Her father chuckled lightly in response, a rare thing for him. "Yes, I remember. The immediate reaction never leaves you feeling well but you'll soon realize how worthwhile it is once you're out there."
They lapsed into silence for a time, each pretending to take note of the various dancers around the room, exceptionally skilled quarians who were held in high esteem by the rest of the fleet. Dancing was one of the few leisure activities quarians allowed themselves as it did not require any extra items or equipment that could take up the highly valued free space each member of the fleet is allocated. However, few were willing to dedicate what little spare time they had between shifts to developing their skills, leading to those who had being looked upon with great respect by their peers.
Finally, Rael'Zorah dared breach the awkward hush between them. "There's something I want to give you before you leave Tali'Zorah. This was given to me by an old friend when I was serving as a trainee, it got me out of a tough spot more than once and hopefully, it'll do the same for you."
Tali took the item; a well cared for Storm III shotgun. The powerful close range weapon clacked softly as it extended into its firing mode at her touch. Tali examined it for a moment, feeling the weight of the gun in her hands. Satisfied, Tali hit the retract button out of reflex and swung the gun onto her back with practiced ease.
"Thanks Dad, it's been a while since I used one of these in training."
"I'm sure you'll get back into practice with it soon enough."
Tali nodded and braced herself for silence once more, but her father appeared to spot something behind her.
"Ah, it looks like Han'Gerrel's son is set to begin his Pilgrimage as well. Would you excuse me while I offer my goodwill?"
Tali let the pain of his abrupt departure deflect off the walls of her heart, refusing to let herself feel dismay; instead, she merely nodded. "Thank you for everything father, I hope I'll make you proud."
The admiral nodded as he moved off, then paused and turned back to her. "Promise me something Na'Vera?"
Tali swallowed hard. "Y-yes?" Na'Vera. It meant 'my daughter' in the old tongue, a language that was only used in sacred traditions or when great emphasis was required.
"Make sure you come back in one piece."
"I-I will." She stammered, still reeling mentally.
He nodded again, turned and abruptly became the Admiral once more.
Tali stood still for a moment, frozen by words she'd never expected to hear. A familiar grey gloved hand pressing gently on her shoulder shook her out of her stupor.
"That's the first time he's called me that." Tali said softly, eyes on his back as he strode through the throng.
Shala'Raan vas Tonbay squeezed Tali's shoulder comfortingly. "I know he's not always forthcoming Tali'Zorah, but your father does love you in his own way."
"I know, but…sometimes it's hard to remember that."
"He has already lost your mother little one, think what losing you would do to him."
Abruptly, Tali turned and hugged the elder quarian, burying her head against her chest.
"I'm going to miss you auntie Raan," she said with a quiet sniff, "you and father; and even if he is distant, I'll always love him."
"I know you will child, I know you will." Replied Shala sadly, holding her niece tightly.
The rest of the evening passed quickly; storytellers and dancers made up the majority of the night's entertainment, as they had for centuries. Tali stole a few moments for herself to record Novi'a vas Fayrin and his assistant, young Shea'lai nar Jeetar, as they retold the ancient tale of Shrai'Moonstar, a favourite story of Tali's youth. She didn't see much else of her father that night, though auntie Shala kept so close to her that Tali wasn't given a moment to think about it. More than once the pair found themselves rescuing Naria'Pael from chasing after one of the younger males from one of the other ships, though her roommate didn't always appreciate the gesture. "It's been months since I had a boyfriend Tali, and this a Va'Seras, the best time to meet people!" She complained.
"Naria we both know they'll all be back on their home ships in a few hours, where would that leave you?"
Naria grinned beneath her faceplate. "That depends on how those few hours were spent."
Tali shook her head. "You're impossible. Perhaps I ought to tell Ray'jar all the time he spends admiring you is wasted."
Naria stopped so quickly someone almost ran into her. "Ray'jar? H-he likes me?"
"You haven't noticed?" Tali asked innocently. "He's hardly taken his eyes off you all night."
Naria unfroze, hands furiously smoothing down her suit. "In that case, exuuucuse me! It seems I have business with the hunkiest navigational officer on the Rayya." She declared as she marched directly toward the well-built male quarian, heedless of the conversation he appeared to be holding.
"You owe me one!" Tali called after her with a laugh.