After the initial excitement had died down aboard the Thousand Sunny and Sanji, Usopp and Franky had scraped themselves off the lawn, everyone moved to the dining room for lunch. Zoro spent the entire meal shooting death glares at the trio whenever he caught them snickering, which was pretty much constantly, and once the meal was over Nami banished Franky and Sanji from the dining room so she could keep working on trying to open the choker. Usopp was allowed to stay simply because he was the only other person on the ship that might be able to pick a lock.

Now, Zoro seethed as he stared at the far wall, listening to the scraping and clicking of small tools against the back of the choker as Nami worked. They had been at it for nearly twenty minutes, and having to sit there with Usopp, Luffy, Brooke and Chopper staring at him was making the swordsman want to punch something.

He almost wished Sanji was still there. "Any luck?"

Nami let out an exasperated breath behind him and tossed a little metal pick onto the table next to a scattering of other tools that had done her no good. "I don't know what's wrong with this thing! It's like it doesn't want to come off!"

"Mystery necklace," Luffy murmured sagely to Chopper.

Zoro cursed under his breath as he heard the navigator's chair slide back roughly, and then Nami crossed the room to retrieve Usopp, dragging the sniper back toward Zoro.

Zoro sent him a narrow-eyed look and the sniper gave a nervous laugh and tried to flee, but Nami shoved him into her abandoned chair and slid the pile of lock-picking tools closer to him with a warning expression.

"Get that thing open and you can leave," the navigator said sharply, and Usopp gulped, but nodded and reached or the tools.

Zoro scowled and folded his arms on the edge of the dining table, tipping his head forward slightly as the sniper set to work and the room fell silent again.

After a stumped moment, Usopp asked, "What exactly am I supposed to pick?" as he leaned sideways to peer around Zoro, and Nami let out a stilted laugh.

"I have no idea!" the navigator cried, and then slumped back in her chair limply. Chopper looked concerned.

"Just find something," Zoro growled back at the sniper, and Usopp 'eep'ed and quickly set to work... acting like he was working.

After five minutes of futile effort the sniper coughed and set the tools down to get to his feet, fidgeting. Everyone guessed what he would say before he even spoke.

"I, er, can't get it open," Usopp mumbled, and then shrugged helplessly. "I can't find anything to open."

Zoro's forehead hit the table with an audible thud.

Nami kicked her feet and made a frustrated sound, then sat forward on the edge of her seat, elbows on her knees and scrubbing her hands over her face.

"What are we going to do?" Chopper asked as he looked between each of the people in the room and Usopp walked over to join them, leaving Zoro at the table.

"We'll have to wait until we reach the next port," Nami said, sounding defeated with her face in her hands. "We'll try to find a locksmith. Until then, he's just going to have to wear it."

Across the room, Zoro made a weird sound and scrabbled at the choker. He ended up falling out of his chair.

Luffy pointed and laughed and Nami debated jumping off the ship.

~ ;3 ~

The next morning, Zoro sat in the observation room and scowled out at the ocean as if it were the cause of all his problems. Next to him on the bench sat the dishes from his breakfast, since he had chosen to eat up in the tower rather than dealing with Sanji in the dining room. And he had good reason for this decision after what the cook had pulled at the previous night's dinner.

Everything had been going fine until Sanji had set Zoro's plate on the table and the swordsman had heard the sound of barely-silenced laughter coming from Franky and Usopp as they watched from the other end of the table.

Zoro had glared at them, but his intended threats had died in his throat when he looked down at his plate. It was in the exact same frilly arrangement as Nami and Robin's. Sanji had even set a tiny vase with a flower in front of him while managing to keep a straight face.

"For you," Sanji had said dramatically, "the prettiest princess in all the lands."

And then Franky and Usopp had both toppled onto the floor in peels of laughter and Zoro had turned a shade of pink that matched the necklace almost perfectly and Sanji had started laughing so hard he forgot how to breathe. Then Zoro had tried to stab him with a knife from the table and Nami had knocked their heads together and kicked them both out of the dining room.

So no, he was not going back in there this morning. In fact, just staying up in the observation tower until they reached the next island sounded like a really good idea.

As that thought replayed in his mind, Zoro scowled and dragged both hands through his hair viciously to clear his head of such stupid ideas. What was he thinking? Letting himself get chased off just meant the bastard cook had won. And dammit, there was no way in hell Zoro would let that happen.

With a new sort of determination, Zoro pulled the black bandanna off his left arm and unfolded it. He fixed it around his neck so that every bit of the sparkly choker was hidden from view, covered by black cloth, and then he turned his attention back to the window and the ocean beyond it.

Soon Brooke would take over watch, and when he did, Zoro planned to find a spot on the deck and take a nap. He just wouldn't let those three idiot's taunts get to him. He was in complete control of himself and his emotions, and he could damn well ignore Sanji and his minions if he put his mind to it. Good plan.

~ ;3 ~

Zoro decided, a few hours later as he sat in the aquarium room ripping pink ribbon bows out of his hair, that his plan sucked. Not only had napping left him vulnerable to ambush, but even when he woke up and tried to catch the bastards they managed to get away. It was like they had their escapes planned beforehand, and with Usopp on their team, Zoro wouldn't put it past them. And the bastard cook taunting that they were "just trying to help with his new look" had left him in a foul mood.

And now he was here, trying to clean up the mess from their latest attack and what the hell were these bows glued in?! "Agh!"

"Swordsman-san?"

Hell. Zoro turned toward the doorway and spotted Robin studying him with a touch of surprise, a glass of ice water in one hand an a closed book in the other. Probably looking for a quiet place to do some reading away from the chaos on deck.

Zoro said nothing as she walked further into the room, her expression shifting from quizzical to understanding.

"I would ask what left you in such a state," the archaeologist said as she moved to stand next to the swordsman, "but I think I have an idea."

Zoro chose not to reply, hoping Robin would just leave. He glared at the room at large and tried to snatch one of the few remaining pink things out of his hair, but whatever glue had stuck them there to begin with had almost completely dried by now, and he growled as he gave a hard yank that only resulted in an aching scalp. He was then startled when Robin knelt down next to him, setting her book and glass on the floor by his leg. "What're you--"

"It's a little trick I know," Robin said with a hint of a smile, and nudged Zoro's hands out of the way as she caught an ice cube out of her glass. Zoro watched her from the corner of his eye as she studied one of the ribbons, and then there was an ice cube in his hair.

Well this couldn't get any better.

Robin must have noticed his disgruntled expression because she laughed and said, "Be patient."

Zoro eyed her, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. And in the next moment, the previously well-stuck ribbon tugged loose and dropped to the floor with the few he had managed to yank out before the glue had dried.

"How'd you do that?" Zoro reached up to pat his cold, wet hair where the ribbon had been.

Robin set her attention on getting the last ribbon out with the same methods, and once it joined the others on the floor she gave a triumphant smile.

"The ice freezes the glue," she explained, "just enough that it will come loose."

Zoro filed that tidbit away for future reference. After a moment, he cleared his throat and offered the archaeologist a mumbled 'thanks' and moved to get to his feet. Robin gathered her book and glass and rose as well, but she didn't turn to leave. Instead she tipped her head and said, "Something tells me you could use a respite from the antics of a few certain nakama."

When Zoro just cocked a brow at her, Robin gave a pleasant smile and continued; "Navigator-san says that we will reach an island by early evening. You're more than welcome to spend the few remaining hours until then in our quarters."

Taken aback by the offer, Zoro blinked and then looked at her suspiciously. "Why're you offering?"

"That glue that was in your hair," Robin said with a gesture toward the bows on the floor, "Usopp managed to spill a few drops on the novel I was reading. Sanji apologized profusely, but the last two pages were stuck together, and though I managed to clean it, it wont be dry until late tomorrow. No permanent harm done, but I think taking away the source of their amusement is suitable retribution."

"Can't you just throw them off the ship?" Zoro deadpanned, and Robin laughed.

It took a bit of doing on Robin's part to convince Nami that letting Zoro hang out in their quarters was a good idea, but eventually the navigator consented. Robin pointing out that one of the pranks the other men were pulling might end up damaging the necklace had seemed to sway the navigator to their side.

Zoro didn't realize what other perks were involved in the arrangement until he was following Robin toward sanctuary and Sanji caught sight of them. The cook's jaw almost hit the floor, his expression absolutely priceless, and Zoro sent him a wolfish grin before disappearing through the door to the women's quarters.

Score one point for Zoro.

~ ;3 ~

As it turned out, Nami had been spot-on with her prediction and the Thousand Sunny reached an island a few hours before dark set in. But the town they found themselves in was a large one, and since they didn't have much time before night fall, it was decided that splitting up to search the town for a locksmith was the best plan. If the team without Zoro found the place first, then they would just retrieve the rest of the crew and take them there. And if the team with Zoro found it, even better, and everyone would meet up back at the ship once dark fell.

So the crew parted with Luffy, Brooke, Franky, and Robin on one team, and Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Sanji and Zoro making up the other team.

Sanji had insisted on accompanying Nami's team so that the navigator didn't have to "tolerate the marimo's presence alone," but Zoro knew, not without an edge of amusement, that the cook was still sore about his alone time with Robin. Zoro had also decided, after Robin had stayed in the women's quarters reading while he napped on the couch, that the archaeologist had a wicked sense of humor. No doubt Sanji had been on the edge of a stroke for the few hours they had been holed up in there, and the languid smile Robin had offered the cook upon emerging hadn't helped to reassure Sanji one bit. The archaeologist seemed content in her revenge.

So despite the constant jabs from the cook, Zoro was in a rather good mood. Whenever Sanji piped up with a comment about his glittery accessory, Zoro just had to slide in an off-handed remark like, "You know Robin's sheets are way softer than ours?" and the cook would either stammer and seethe or be stunned into silence.

And now here they were, strolling down a crowded street in the center of town with Nami leading the group, searching for a locksmith. Zoro hoped to be free of the choker by nightfall.

"Oh! Nami, look!" came Chopper's excited voice and everyone followed his pointing finger over the heads of the passing people. Affixed to the wall above the door of one of the small shops was a sign with one word that made everyone in the group – save for maybe Sanji – grin; Locksmith.

"Ha! Yes! Chopper, you're wonderful," Nami said gleefully, and then grabbed Zoro's arm to drag him toward the shop. Chopper made a quick comment about how he didn't want her compliments, but giggled as he followed them through the crowd.

Nami slammed the shop's door open and barged into the small space without hesitation, her face set with grim determination and effectively scaring the hell out of the older man behind the counter. "You're the locksmith?"

The old man shuffled out from behind the counter, eyeing the group before him nervously. "Uhm... yes. Is there something I can help you with, miss?"

Nami nodded sharply. "We have a lock that needs opened. Immediately. Zoro, show him."

Zoro glared at her and shook her hand off his arm before stepping forward. Everyone else stood back and the old locksmith turned his attention to the swordsman warily as Zoro hissed out a breath and reached up to tug the bandanna off his neck.

The light hit the choker, it glittered merrily – and pinkly – and the old locksmith burst into a fit of laughter. Zoro then promptly ruined any chance Nami might have had at getting a discount for the man's services by trying to strangle the locksmith.

A few minutes later as Zoro nursed his injured head, having been slugged by Nami, and Sanji smirked at him, having enjoyed that immensely, the navigator spoke with the locksmith in serious tones.

"Look, I know that he's a horrible, violent buffoon," Nami began, and ignored Zoro's growl, "but I really need you to get that thing off him. It's very important to me, you see. Can you do it? Please?" She was giving him the sweet, damsel-in-distress look that anyone close to her knew was a big ol' lie.

The locksmith fell for it hook, line and sinker. He shuffled forward and patted Nami's arm gently with a solemn nod. "Let me have a look."

Nami turned to her friends with an evil grin the old man couldn't see, and Zoro scowled at her as he moved to take the chair the locksmith gestured him to. He sat in it backward, folding his arms on the back of the chair, and waited as the old man retrieved a tool kit from somewhere behind the counter. Then the locksmith shuffled over to Zoro and opened the kit, leaning in to study the choker around the swordsman's neck and making thoughtful sounds.

Off to the side, Nami waited in anxious silence, chewing her lower lip as the old man set to work.

Zoro stared at the far wall and held still as he listened to the clicks and scrapes of metal on metal as the locksmith worked his tools. It was probably the fidgeting of the trio – Sanji was decidedly un-fidgety - across the room that made the minutes seem to pass at an agonizing crawl, and eventually Zoro tried to ignore them, frowning and waiting for any sign of progress.

Suddenly there was a loud click and the locksmith made a light sound. Zoro sat straight up and Nami lunged forward a step expectantly.

"Oops, sorry, dropped my pick," said the old man.

Zoro cracked his forehead on the back of the chair and Nami had to be restrained from mauling the old man.

"Can you get it open?" The navigator asked waspishly as the old man retrieved his fallen tool and set his kit aside.

"I'm afraid not," the locksmith said apologetically. "See, I'm a locksmith... but there's no lock for me to open here. Maybe you could break it off?"

Nami slumped back against Usopp in exasperation. Chopper looked concerned. Sanji looked jealous.

"Well that was a waste of time," Zoro muttered a few minutes later, re-tying his bandanna around his neck as the five of them stood in a cluster outside of the locksmith's shop. Not only had the old man failed to remove the choker, but Nami still had to pay full price for his time and effort. Needless to say, the navigator was now in a rather foul mood.

Nami raked her hands back through her hair roughly, disturbing its usually neat fall. "Dammit, dammit, dammit! What is with this choker? Agh!"

Sanji made soothing gestures and Usopp and Chopper edged away from the navigator warily, as if she might attack them.

"Okay!" Nami said abruptly, flinging her arms out and causing the sniper and doctor to yelp and dive for cover behind Zoro. "This is fine. Just a minor set back." She took a deep breath to calm herself, then gave a sharp nod. "We'll just have to find another locksmith, and get a second opinion."

Zoro regarded her with a blank expression. That was her great plan?

"A wonderful plan, Nami-swan~!" Sanji crooned. Everyone ignored him.

Nami scanned the surrounding buildings with narrowed eyes, hands on her hips. "I wonder if there is another one in this town...? It's pretty big, so maybe..."

Since the navigator seemed to have calmed down, Usopp and Chopper left their hiding place behind Zoro. But as the sniper stepped back he bumped into a passing figure and started before turning quickly to apologize.

He was faced with a man in a too-familiar white uniform. The cap he wore sported the word "marine" in bold blue text across the front.

"Ah!" the marine said in surprise, pointing at Usopp. "Pirate!"

"Ack!" said Usopp in a matching tone, and pointed straight past the man, "Your mother!"

The marine spun around with a horrified expression and Usopp spun on his heel, arms flung in the air with a cry of, "RUN AWAY!"

They ran. Well, Chopper didn't technically run, since he had attached to Zoro's head at the sight of the marine, but they all ended up fleeing together. Fighting in these crowded streets would only lead to disaster and a lot of injured civilians, and since this town was so big, it was a safe bet that there were a lot more marines where that man had come from. Trying to escape and get back to the ship was a much better plan.

Since they had already been spotted there really was no point in trying to be sneaky, so Sanji and Zoro took the lead of the group, clearing a partial path through the crowd by bodily removing people from their way.

"Where did that marine come from?!" Nami raised her voice over the din of the crowd and the surprised shouts and outraged yells of the people they were dodging around as they bolted through the human obstacle course toward the docks.

"I don't know, maybe they have a base here!" Usopp replied as he leapt over a fallen barrel.

"Well they should have said something!" Nami snapped as she sent two men sprawling onto the cobbled street.

"Like what?!" Usopp squawked.

"How about 'pirates, don't come here or you may experience contact with marines!'" Nami yelled back, and then some ways behind them a marine shouted and a gunshot rang through the air. Nami shrieked. What happened to 'stop or we'll shoot'?!

A last sharp turn around a large building and the docks were in sight. This might have been more of a relief had the docks not been swarming with marines. Mama's boy must have called for backup.

"Oh for hell's sake! I didn't even steal anything!" Nami cried with a flap of her arms, and then Sanji stepped in font of her, his expression grim.

"Don't worry, Nami-san, I'll protect you," the cook said seriously, but when he glanced over his shoulder the navigator was gone. "Nami-san?!"

"We'll wait over here!" came Nami's voice from a short distance away where she, Usopp and Chopper had somehow managed to get themselves onto the roof of a one-story building. The navigator waved energetically at the pair still on the dock. "Best of luck! Get 'em, Sanji-kun!"

"How the hell did they do that?" Zoro stared at the trio on the rooftop, then shook his head and turned back to face the marines that surrounded them. Sanji was at his back now, and as the pair watched the marines with narrowed eyes, the uniformed men drew weapons of all sorts and readied themselves for a fight. There had to be at least a few hundred of them, reinforcements having arrived from somewhere else in the town. Probably the base Usopp had guessed about earlier.

Fine, Zoro thought as his lips twitched into a smirk, he'd just use them as stress relief. Beating the shit out of a bunch of marines would serve to improve his mood immensely.

Out of pure habit, Zoro lifted a hand to grasp his black his bandanna and pull it free from where it was tied. What he had just done only clicked with him when the first marine's eyes widened.

Oh,fuck.

Zoro didn't think he'd ever heard a few hundred marines all start laughing at once, and honestly if he had ever expected to hear such a thing, he certainly hadn't expected that he, Roronoa Zoro, would be the source of their amusement. But now he was faced with exactly that situation, with marines cackling and howling with laughter and pointing and laughing harder, and he just stood there for a moment in shocked disbelief with his bandanna in one hand and a sword in the other and that stupid pink choker glittering brilliantly around his neck, still unable to comprehend he had actually just done that.

"I changed my mind," came Sanji's thoughtful voice from his left, and Zoro sent him a warning look, but it didn't stop the blonde from adding, "This is the greatest moment of my life."

Zoro roared and tackled Sanji into the nearest group of marines.

Up on the rooftop - the best vantage point in the whole town to view the fight - Nami, Usopp and Chopper watched the ensuing carnage down on the dock with increasingly disturbed expressions. And after a few moments, Usopp covered Chopper's eyes with both hands.

He really didn't think marines were meant to bend that way.

! ~ ;3 ~ !

:v I'm not sure if ice works to get glue out of hair, but it works on gum... so I went with it. And I forgot Robin's nickname for Usopp. XDD Forgive me.

As a side note, wow, guys. Wow. I'm on Favorite Authors lists alongside writers like X-Parrot and PeroxidePest17. D: There are even a few of you who have me as your only Favorite Author. ;w; -hugs all of you-

P.S. There's a vague nod to my story Once Upon A Time in there. Didja spot it? (Note: I mean vague. Like, you get a prize if you saw it, because it is just that friggin' sneaky. O-o But hey, if you feel like playing detective, try to hunt it out. Or if you spotted it on the first pass, then holy crap are you perceptive. XD)

Thanks to Lolo for beta-ing! 8DDD