AN: as always have fun dearies^^ it's a little dark this time but don't let it bother you. well I can see the light in the dark^^ and I hope you can find it too.

Dear Minerva,

We captured some half-bloods tonight.

At this very moment one of them is writhing to my feet in pain.

Avery fed him some potion that makes him live through his worst nightmares over and over without waking up while really experiencing the damage that happens to him in his dreams.

And there they go telling ME I'm a monster!

Monster… pha…

They haven't seen me going monster yet.

Well there is no time better then now to show them! Let's show them why I earn the title torturer!

Woohoo… unleash the insanity and shut your mind down this is going to be bloody!

The entry broke of and continued a little bit lower with blood stains all over the writing. Minerva felt the bale rising in her throat and heaved.

Good god he had been a torturer!

Not just one of the murdering followers and not even one of the guys for the rough dirty work.

No he had been one of the few to come with night and mist crashing down on their victims not leaving a single one unharmed and alive.

His job had not been to kill but to force out information or state examples.

Her proud saviour had been one of the nameless makes that left the small children alive but insane and physically damaged to a degree that not even magic could help them to survive another night.

The ministry had known that say existed but they where faceless creatures in black cloaks and silver masks with one single red stripe over the bridge of the nose. These special masks were shorter then the normal ones ending with the nose travelling just a little down over the cheekbones, they where only worn when the Death Eaters with title of torturers came for someone on this specific task.

Not even there fellow Death Eaters know who as hidden behind these masks.

She read on and couldn't believe her eyes… he described a meeting and named every single person attending… as well as every one who was absent. Commenting on them, if they were marked or under the Imperius, listing crimes to every single sole. Half of them had gone undiscovered in the trails after the war. As much as she dreaded it, she had to show the diary to an Auror so they could. In his pleas for forgiveness at the end of the page he started to o into detail and she had to shut the book.

He had been insane!

Maybe he had been insane from the start and Askaban just destroyed what little of his sanity was left… but then there where this parts where he seemed so broken and hurt, so badly in love and so… vulnerable!

It seemed as if there where two people in one and the same body. No not exactly.

More like he could shut down every emotion and thinking when he started to go to work.

He could minimise his mind to pure logical acting with the one goal to inflict as much pain as possible for as long as possible.

The teacher in her wondered if he had been able to do that in every situation and with other goals and maybe even emotions.

The loving women in her wanted to hit him first for being who he was and than kiss the pain away hat his crimes caused him.

Because that was what had clearly happened after he finished his tasks, every thing that append after Askaban hurt him nearly as much as his victims.

He pleaded for forgiveness but refused to regret, instead he spend as much time in his own little world as possible. The world in the back of his head in which she held him tightly pressed to her body, where he was only a man and not a killer.

Dear my Love,

Do you know that bathing time is my most favourite time of the day now?

Why?

Because no one walks in to go on my nerves!

No one interrupts my thoughts and I can dream myself into your arms again.

It's a peaceful dream.

Would you like to hear it?

Can you imagine how if would feel?

Both of us together in the tub…

My back leaning against you chest while you lean on the edge.

I'm sitting between your tights my head resting on your shoulder.

Your legs are wrapped around my waist feet crossed.

I stroke your calves lightly with my fingertips.

You kiss the side of my face a little, small sweet butterfly kisses.

Your arms encircle my chest your hands playing with a sponge.

It feels so good!

It is so peaceful!

Sitting in the warm water just relishing in he feel of skin on skin.

Living for the closeness to the other!

Our privet piece of heaven!

Entries like this made her sight deeply and dream his dreams for a while.

He was right!

It was heaven!