Apologies

Cuddy slowly guided Stacy to House's office. He was sitting on the wrong side of his desk, resting his chin on his hands and his hands on his cane. He seemed unaware of their presence. Stacy looked up at Cuddy who had also started to cry and gave her a hug. "I really think I need to do this myself now Lisa."

Cuddy nodded and watched Stacy walk into House's office with a heavy heart.

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"Greg?" Stacy stood awkwardly in the entrance of House's office. House looked up at her, shocked to see how much she had changed in such a short time. Her hair was longer now, Cuddy's length he guessed, and there were dark circles under her eyes. He could tell that she had been crying. Her professional, tough outer layer seemed long gone and there was a raw quality about her that made House's heart go out to her, despite his desire to remain impassive.

House nodded his head at her and went back to staring at the wall. He was not in the mood to drag out more painful memories.

"I…uhhh…" Stacy cleared her throat. "I just found out that you were in Mayfield and…why didn't you tell me?!" It seemed to burst from her and she walked over to stand in front of House, agitated.

He could ignore her no longer. He looked up at her. "Why would you care?"

"Of course I care! When I heard that you were committed I was so worried! I thought there was something really wrong and no one bothered to tell me!!!"

"You have Mark now," House stated with an old twinge of bitterness. He went back to resting on his cane.

"Yeah. Well not anymore because he's dead," Stacy said matter-o-factly.

House looked back up at her, with regret etched on his face. "Stacy I…."

"It's fine." Stacy turned from him and walked over to the other side of his desk. She picked up House's big red ball and rolled it around in her fingers. It made House think of the time that Cuddy had taken over his office; she had done the same thing; rolling it around and around…

"I've always regretted that day when I walked out of here. I should have told you how I really felt." She looked back at him and her gaze locked into House's eyes.

House turned away. "It was my fault."

"No. It wasn't." Stacy walked back over and kneeled next to him. "It was mine. I was so…confused. I hadn't seen you in so long. I loved Mark and yet…I loved you. I didn't know what to do. I was stupid. I just wanted to let you know that…I'm sorry." She bit her lip and looked down. "All of this, all of this…..is my fault."

House looked back over at her, knowing that she was being truthful and he couldn't. Talking about his feelings was still so new to him. This was the one person he knew he couldn't practice on.

"I led you on," House stated simply, knowing that if he stuck with the facts he could never be wrong.

Stacy looked back up at him. "Yeah, but I let myself be drawn back into your….your…vortex." She chuckled, humorlessly, at her choice of words. "I wanted it to be like old times before the break-up, before the fighting, before your leg," her voice broke and she gently touched his leg. Her touch made House tingle and instinctively he put his hand on top of hers.

"If I had just listened to you, you wouldn't be in so much pain and you wouldn't have had to go through this addiction or this psychiatric hospital or…" Stacy stopped because her words were starting to choke together. She stood up and walked away facing the wall. She took a deep breath, but didn't turn back around. "I feel so GUILTY. I caused ALL of this. ALL of it. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." She stopped and House understood that she was mentally killing herself a thousand times over. He stood up and slowly walked over to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched slightly before turning around. "Please promise me that you won't hate me." She looked desperate.

"I stopped blaming you a long time ago. The hospital….it had nothing to do with you. That was me, my fault. My addiction. You had nothing to do with it."

Stacy let out a huge sigh. "I want…I want us to be friends again. Like it used to be."

"Stacy…" House slowly turned from her. "I don't think that would work. Things have changed they've….they're different now I've moved on."

"I understand," Stacy wiped her eyes quickly. "I just wanted to let you know that I've missed you and that I would turn back the clock if I could." She crossed her arms over herself reassuringly. "Good bye Greg." She turned and went to open the door.

"Stacy." She turned back to look at House. He walked up to her. "I've missed you too."

Stacy buried her head in his chest and House put his arms around her. He rested his chin on her head and was flooded with memories of their past relationship. And yet…with his arms around the very woman that he had wanted for years he still felt strangely empty.

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Cuddy leaned over the desk at the nurse's station and signed off on what seemed like paper after paper. She glanced over at the elevator doors every minute (to her it seemed like hours) but no familiar faces exited. She grew more and more desperate and didn't seem to know why.

"Cuddy," she jumped and turned to see Dr. James Wilson staring at her, strangely. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just a little busy why?" She turned away and continued to go through the clinic folders.

"Well you seem a bit agitated and keep glancing over at the elevators. Is there something wrong?"

"Nope." She continued to not look at him, and Wilson knew something was up. "Where's House?" He asked her.

"In his office, "she said simply.

"And….." Wilson leaned against the desk next to her and stared at her, knowing it would make her uncomfortable.

She put her pen down, folded her hands, and looked over at Wilson. "I got a call this morning from Stacy. She's come to see House."

Wilson's jaw dropped. "Stacy? As in…"

"Yes." Cuddy turned back to her files. "She heard that House was institutionalized and came to see him." She picked up a stack of files and slammed them down next to the nurse who looked her warily.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Wilson said to himself, out loud. "How did YOU find out?" He seemed unable to comprehend how House messed up his hierarchy.

"She called me and told me she was coming to see him." Cuddy slammed another stack of files next to the nurse who again looked perturbed at Cuddy's behavior.

"Well this is great! They can finally reconcile their differences. This is exactly what House needs right now," Wilson reasoned.

"Yup. It's fantastic." Cuddy slammed her last pile of folders down, turned on her heel and walked away towards her office. Wilson, still confused as to how he hadn't heard Stacy was back, didn't realize she was gone until he heard the door to her office slam shut. Wilson flinched and the main floor of the hospital all stopped talking at once. They all turned to look at Wilson accusingly. He put up his hands. "It wasn't me."

He walked over to Cuddy's office and looked inside to see her opening and closing drawers loudly and slamming files around. He stormed in. "What the hell?!" She ignored him and continued moving stuff around.

"What the hell was that?!" Wilson walked up to her desk. "Stacy is exactly what House needs right now. She is someone from his past that he needs to reconcile with. It will help him get rid of some of those skeletons in his closet!"

"Yes, that's what he needs James the woman from his past that helped to screw him over!"

Wilson shook his head unbelievingly. "What? You contributed as much to House's leg infarction as Stacy did! You were his doctor! You're not making any sense!"

"He was getting better! Everything is going back to normal and she shows up to mess it all up again!"

"Mess what up?! Everything was going back to the way that it was before Mayfield! He was still treating us like jerks, making sexual comments, trying…" Wilson stopped. "That's what you want isn't it?"

Cuddy looked up and brushed a piece of hair from her face. Her eyes pleaded with Wilson not to continue but he knew she needed to hear it.

"You don't want Stacy back around because she will ruin your relationship with House. He will no longer be interested in you. You're jealous."

"That's not true" Cuddy said adamantly before looking back down on her desk and drawing papers together into piles, trying to look busy. In reality, she could feel hot tears springing to her eyes because she knew it was true. She didn't want any other woman around House, he was hers. These selfish feelings made her feel anger and resentment towards herself but she couldn't get rid of them.

"Lisa," Wilson's voice softened and Cuddy looked up at him, instinctively. He was looking at her, very concerned. "Why don't you talk to him?"

"Absolutely not." Cuddy sniffed. "I am not jealous. But you know I care about House. I want him to be happy and I don't think Stacy will help him. What if they get back together and break up again? What will happen to him?"

"What if they DO get back together again?" Wilson looked at his boss solemnly. "What will happen to YOU?"

Cuddy just looked at her friend, unsure of what to say next. Wilson sighed. "I'm going to go see Stacy." He walked out the door and Cuddy sat into her chair heavily, ashamed yet unwilling to part with her desire to be with House.

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House and Stacy sat on the floor of his office, talking and eating Wilson's lunch that he had stolen from the refrigerator.

"So you still talk to Dr. Nolan?" Stacy asked and took a bite from the sandwich.

House nodded. "He is attempting to get me to share my feelings."

"Well is it working?" Stacy laughed as she attempted to talk with food in her mouth.

House looked over at the window and back at her. "I think so."

House's door opened and Wilson walked in. "Why didn't you tell me you had a visitor House?"

"James!" Stacy stood up and ran over, giving Wilson a hug. "How are you?"

"I've been better, been worse." Wilson smiled down at his old friend. "How have you been?"

Stacy shrugged. "I've had some good times and bad the past couple years. I'm just glad that Greg's okay."

"Me too." Wilson smiled at House who gave a little half smile before going back to his sandwich. "And I see you've taken my lunch." Wilson raised an eyebrow but obviously didn't seem to mind.

"Oh James I'm sorry I didn't know it was yours," Stacy looked apologetic before throwing House a mocking dirty glance.

House shrugged. "Thought you were on a diet."

"Please." Wilson walked over and sat down next to them on the floor.

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Cuddy yawned and looked down at her watch. It was nearly half past eight. She looked over at the elevators, which House still hadn't come down from. Cuddy finally gave up and walked over to the elevator pushing the up button vigorously.

A nurse walked over to Cuddy. "Dr. Cuddy I…."

"Not now." Cuddy stepped into the elevator and immediately hit the close button. When she got to House's floor she listened for any noise coming from House's office but heard nothing. She slowly approached the door and found House sitting alone on his chair. Feeling a little bit relieved Cuddy walked in.

House looked up at her and then went back to his monster truck magazine. "Can I help you?"

"I was just wondering…how it went with Stacy." Cuddy shooed his legs and sat down on the ottoman in front of him. He looked back up at her and then down at the magazine. "It went good."

"That's good," Cuddy said conversationally. She looked at House, who appeared completely uninterested.

House sighed, took off his glasses, and put down the magazine. "Do you need something?"

Cuddy was a little taken aback. "Uhhh….no….I just…"

"Then what are you doing? Don't you have a baby to take care of?" House looked at her knowingly and Cuddy pursed her lips before looking down. "I was just a little worried…"

"Yes. Worried. Remember I'm a big boy I can take care of myself." House leaned in, very close to her, and instantly regretted it. She was intoxicating and the way her gaze froze on him, waiting for him to make a move made his heart race. "Why are you so worried?"

Cuddy took a breath, still locked into his gaze. "Well because…"

"Lisa! What are you still doing here?" Stacy waltzed into House's office, who immediately sat back in his chair.

"I was just…"

"Greg told me that you had a baby now" Stacy walked over and put her hands on Cuddy's shoulders. "You should be home with her."

Cuddy felt guilty all of a sudden and nodded. "You're right."

"You should bring her in one time though I'd love to meet her" Stacy smiled and gave Cuddy a little hug. "Don't worry I'll take care of Greg for you."

Cuddy could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks so she nodded and walked quickly out of the room.

House watched Cuddy walk out the door, knowing that something was bothering her. Why was she acting so strangely? Why did she care all of a sudden? The thought that she cared, however, made him feel uncharacteristically secure and he tried desperately to cling to it.

So everyone there was a lot of Hacy in this one and there probably will be in the next couple. But for the Huddy fans don't worry this will eventally become a Huddy Please keep letting me know what you think and I'd be happy to hear any suggestions!