Chapter 2:
Author's Note: I graciously offer you the newest chapter in the EA fanfiction. Supposedly, Emilie Autumn has read the first chapter, and that just makes my precious little ratty fan-girl heart explode with maniacal euphoria (euphoria taken to the next level, bitch!) Please enjoy the hell out of this intoxicating chapter! Get a damn cup of tea, and drink away, as you enjoy this succulent piece!
"I'm your Opheliac.. I've been so disillusioned, I know you'd take me back, but still I feign confusion" (Emilie Autumn; Opheliac)
Having victoriously claimed ownership of a large swath of the galaxy's planest, Emilie Autumn and Darth Vader felt the occasion called for an honorary, though celebratory lightsaber battle between two equals.
"I have even taken it upon myself to invite my favorite nymphomaniac dame, Lady Veronica Varlow, who at the moment is in the kitchen preparing green tea muffins with an Easy Bake Oven," Emilie Autumn announced, smiling cheekishly at her Darth Prince, who was broodily staring out into the oasis of space through the small window in the innermost chamber of the Death Star.
"Oh Emilie, we have built your prodigious asylum for wayward Victorian Jedis and the various debased droids of the galaxy- we are restoring egalitarian values to the universe- for that is the very essence of Dark Side ethos." Darth Vader solemnly replied, issuing a pensive Ho-pen, Ho-pen, before letting the darkly beauty of Emilie's pale face filled the dark hulls of his masked eyes.
"You really are beautiful- extraordinarily beautiful- let us consummate our relationship with a symbolic rite of passage. This rite of passage,according to Dark Side tradition, requires a fierce lightsaber battle that will inevitably leave both rivals in a crumbled, defeated mess on the ground," Darth Vader explained, leaving Emilie Autumn with a perversely bright smile.
"Let us fight for the triumph of love and insanity in the galaxy, for it is those things that we both mutually agree upon, my dear Darth Prince. All those malevolent psychiatrists, from Planet Asylum, that you have seductively choked to death has allowed me to be free for the first time in my life. Our fight will be the consummations-the elegant seal- onto the pages of our blistering love for one another!" Emilie Autumn sighed dramatically, mocking the exaggerated sighs of a suicidal Opheliac, before pulling out her corroded, pink Victorian Dildo that served as her lightsaber.
"We fight to the death, my love, my Dark Prince," Emilie Autumn declaimed, bearing a feral smile. The resplendent, shimmering pink light of her dildoed lightsaber made loud vibrating noises, as she swung it towards Darth Vader's red lightsaber (appropriately attached to a steel, black dildo to fit the mood)
Darth Vader batted away Emilie Autumn's pink lightsaber blade. As they battled one another fiercely for hours upon hours, the incessant purr of both their dildo handles could be heard from the Death Star's kitchens, where Veronica Varlow was taking a seductive, wolfish wiff of the freshly-prepared easy bake over, Green-Tea muffins.
"Oh my Emilie and her Darth Prince are going to love these," Veronica said aloud, in her husky, dominatrix tone.
Whilst moving her hips in Vaudeville fashion, Veronica sauntered out of the kitchen with the plate of Green Tea cupcakes and into the innermost cell. At that point in the lightsaber battle, the vibrating tension of the lightsabers came to a dramatic cessation, once Veronica stepped into the threshold of the innermost cell- the centerfold of the consummated love and passion of Darth Vadar and Emilie Autumn.
Veronica shielded her eyes, as though a blinding ray of light were being shone directly into eyes, when she walked into the room. In a brusque,tsk-tsking voice, she announced "I see that you both have played the Jedi version of the Rat game, and thus your love is sealed for eternity. That is why I bring you these sacrificial green tea muffins, made with the frothy love cream of your Darth Prince. Let you both eat of them, and think of how many plague-ridden space rats that you have salvaged in your victorious claiming of the throne, as the first emperor and empress of the whole galaxy."
Emilie Autumn and Darth Vader reached over to the succulent muffins, and thanked Veronica. Veronica walked away, leaving the exhausted pair of lovers to their honeymoon feast of Green-Tea muffins. Until then, let insanity reign!