AN: So's you know, I'm gonna be focusing on this story for awhile, and since no one's sent in ideas for which girls should be in Edd's harem in this story, I've set up a poll for that I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because I've put a lot of time and effort into it! Eddy, do the disclaimer, please.
Eddy: Why should I?
Me: I believe the phrase says 'money is no object'. (Hands Eddy a twenty dollar bill)
Eddy: *LOUD GASP* I'm on it cap! The following is a non-profit fan based FanFiction crossover! Ed, Edd n' Eddy is owned by Cartoon Network and Danny Antonucci while Mär is owned by Nobuyuki Anzai! ...I still think it's unfair that sockhead gets lucky with the ladies in this story...
Meeting Jack! - The Adventure Truly Begins!
It's been a few hours since Double D ended up in the land of Märchen, and he's assimilated quite well despite his earlier hardships. Currently, he and Babbo are in a forest planning their next move, but Double D was easily distracted by the local fauna and flora.
"How intriguing! This species of beetle is not one that I possess any knowledge of!" Double D said as he held up the strange bug.
He relished in the feeling of the cool mid afternoon breeze and the new smells that nature was providing him with. It was quite a step up from the humble Cul-de-sac and was nowhere near as polluted as the air produced by the hustle and bustle of the big city.
"The breeze certainly is refreshing." Double D said to himself. "It must be quite pleasant to finally be out of that musty old cavern you were imprisoned in, eh Babbo?"
Double D waited a few seconds for Babbo to give a reply. But there was none.
"Babbo…?"
Double D looked around and saw the living Ärm once again trying to make a run for it. At least until he was stopped via Double D grabbing his chain.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! You're not taking one more step until we've decided on a course of travel, Babbo!" Double D stated firmly.
"Why… you…"
Soon enough, Babbo began to go on a bit of a rant.
"If you can't behave like a gentleman, then at least learn how to behave TO one! Honestly! If you have somewhere to go, then go!" yelled Babbo.
"And where might that be, Babbo?" Double D asked.
"I HAVE NO IDEA!" was Babbo's reply.
Soon enough, the two had finished their little argument and were now continuing on through the densely wooded forest. But this time, Double D had a firm grip on Babbo's hammer so the Ärm wouldn't get away.
"Boy…" Babbo suddenly spoke up. "What are you called again?"
"My name is Eddward with two ds. But everyone just calls me Double D."
"What a silly name." Babbo said. "By the way… let go!"
"I will not!" Double D affirmed.
"I have somewhere to go!" Babbo lied.
"Then I will accompany you to your intended destination!" Double D said, calling Babbo's bluff. "I have no destination in mind for my stay in this world, and traveling with a companion or two is always much more fun!"
Babbo narrowed his eyes at the hat wearing boy.
"Yes… you did say you came from another world." Babbo said.
"Indeed. I've only just arrived here. And I must say that this experience has been far more enlightening than I assumed it would be! At times it feels like nothing but pure cockamamie, but then I pinch myself and see that it IS real! All I can say is that if this is a dream, I don't want to wake up!" Double D explained.
Babbo stared at the boy for a few seconds as he took that all in. He certainly has quite the advanced vocabulary. Babbo sighed.
"This is no dream. And I can prove it to you…" said Babbo.
"You can? How?!" Double D asked eagerly.
And WHAM! Our poor little ol sockhead was slammed in the face by Babbo! The Ärm started hopping away whilst laughing at Double D's misfortune.
"Wahaha! Still want to travel with me?! I go alone!" Laughed Babbo. "Good luck, boy!"
Unfortunately for Babbo, he wasn't watching where he was going and landed in a river. But he didn't drown as Double D roughly yanked him out of the water by his chain. The boy gripped Babbo's body and began to squeeze the life out of the Ärm's nose.
"You should know that it's not polite to laugh at other people's misfortunes! AND AM I THAT REPULSIVE TO YOU?!" stated/shouted Double D.
"QUID SQUEEZIG BY DOSE!" Babbo demanded. "YOU ARE ZO, ZO, ZO REBULSIVE!"
"And what, pray tell, are we fussing about?"
Double D and Babbo ceased their arguing and looked up to see two people walking into the clearing. A full grown man and a child.
The man was rather robust with a big nose, a mustache that looked more like two long nose hairs, round sunglasses, and how his shirt fit him without ripping from his fat form is beyond me! He also has a stylized sun tattoo on his right bicep.
Next to him was a small child carrying a sack and wearing clothes similar to the man.
"Now, now! We can't have anyone fighting! You must let me help you settle this quarrel!" proclaimed the man.
"Master Mokku and Chappu can settle anything!" said the boy.
"Yes well, it's all fun and games but this guy…"
"Is so tired of this needy little crybaby with a smelly hat who's afraid to be alone." Babbo said, cutting Double D off.
Naturally this didn't sit well with Eddward.
"For your information, Babbo, my hat doesn't smell!" Double D said.
"Oh yes it does." Babbo fired back.
A moment of shock later, and Double D was able to give a rebuttal.
"No it does not! You're just saying that because I said your breath stank."
"Stinky hat!" Babbo insulted.
"YOU SMELL LIKE YOUR TEETH HAVEN'T BEEN BRUSHED IN OVER TWO CENTURIES, BABBO!"
"Stinky hat!"
"Odiferous onion breath!"
"Stinky hat!"
"Gaseous garlic gut!"
"Stinky hat!"
"MALICIOUS MAGGOT MOUTH!"
"OH YEAH? STINKY HAT!"
While this argument was going on, Mokku and Chappu were whispering a plan to each other. They were slightly taken aback by the talking Ärm, but they knew one thing. They need to get it away from the boy before he could find out just what it is capable of!
But first… they need to break up this argument before it gets worse than simple name-calling. And they'd rather not get caught in the crossfire of something like that.
"BREATH OF SULPHUROUS SKUNK TAILS!"
"STINKY HAT!"
Mokku cleared his throat and began to speak, getting Babbo and Double D's attention.
"Well, the sad truth is that some people just don't match up well! Once things go wrong between them, they never get better! You'll only make yourselves miserable! So says master Mokku!"
The fat man gestured to Double D.
"Are you really afraid to be alone?" Mokku asked.
"Certainly not! I can manage to navigate this forest just fine on my own!" Double D replied. "In fact, I'd rather brave the dangers of this world by myself than continue to wander aimlessly with a so-called friend!"
"And you'd like to go it alone?" Mokku asked, this time gesturing to Babbo.
"YES! YOU UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY!" Babbo replied.
"So then it's settled."
With that, Double D walked away from Babbo unaware of Mokku and Chappu's true intentions. But as he walked on, he just couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that began to creep into his being. And he'd been having so much fun up until this point, too…
"Did you see what the Mokku Gang pulled just now?"
"I saw! I saw!"
"Those crooks'll do anything to get their hands on an Ärm!"
Double D jumped and screamed in surprise at the voices that just magically made themselves known. Naturally, this caused the timid teenager to start trembling like a leaf.
"WHO… WHO'S THERE?! SHOW YOURSELVES, BECAUSE IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF FOOLISH JOKE YOU'RE PLAYING, I-IT'S NOT FUNNY!" shouted Double D.
But the voices paid him no mind.
"Looks like they've got a new one to sell!" exclaimed a voice.
"That round thing is an Ärm?!" gasped another.
"I think so. You don't see many talking Ärms."
"I bet they'll sell it for a fortune!"
"I wonder who they'll sell it to… a rich prince?"
Sell Babbo. Something about that very notion made Double D sick to his stomach. Babbo may be one of these Ärms, but he has sentience! He's not some animal to sell as a pet! But then he stamped down these feelings.
Babbo wanted Double D to leave, well he got his wish! And he can keep it!
But the voices just didn't let up.
"It's weird enough to sell to a beast master. He could teach it tricks like jumping through rings of fire while fighting wild animals!"
Now Double D was being plagued by visions of Babbo being forced to jump through a flaming hoop while fighting a hungry lion. The master who was forcing him in the vision used a whip to command Babbo.
After a few minutes of these visions, Double D sighed and began walking in the direction that he just came from.
"Curse my polite ways…!"
Meanwhile, Mokku and Chappu were lugging Babbo through the forest by his mustache. An action that caused the Ärm great pain.
"YEEOWWW! DON'T GRAB THE MUSTACHE!" cried Babbo.
"It's really, truly alive isn't it, Master Mokku?" said an astounded Chappu.
"Mm… but also really heavy." Mokku replied. "We've got to sell it soon. Perhaps to Duke Tolili?"
"SELL ME?!" cried Babbo.
"You're so unusual!" said Chappu. "I bet the Duke'll pay twenty million Pewter for you! He'll hang you in a place of honor!"
Just like Double D, Babbo was also plagued by visions. But these ones were of being mounted on a wall like a trophy that had been stuffed by a hunter. This vision caused Babbo to tear up.
"I don't want to be hung! I want to walk the world freely!"
Babbo remembered how Double D was so willing to travel with him. He would've allowed him to roam the world as free as a bird, no questions asked. But then he remembered Double D's last words before they parted ways.
"I'd rather brave the dangers of this world by myself than continue to wander aimlessly with a so-called friend!"
"I pushed away the only other wandering soul I know, and now I'm paying for it! I'VE BEEN A FOOL!"
Babbo finally couldn't take it anymore!
"DOUBLE D!"
"HAVE NO FEAR, BABBO!"
Mokku and Chappu looked to see Double D leap out of the foliage, a determined look present on his face.
"These rapscallions shan't get away with their misdeeds!" Double D proclaimed.
Mokku yelped as Babbo managed to escape his grasp and hopped over to Eddward.
"DOUBLE D! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!"
Double D grasped the hammer as both he and Babbo glared at the two thieves before them.
"These men are thieves!" Babbo informed.
"So I've been told!" Double D replied.
Mokku didn't take well to his stolen Ärm being reclaimed by its previous owner so easily, so he charged in recklessly to try and take Double D down and get Babbo back in his possession.
"WHY YOU-! GIVE THAT BACK!" demanded an irate Mokku.
"You want him back? You've got it!"
Double D gathered his strength and threw Babbo at the obese fool of a man. The impact was enough to send him flying back and knock him clean out. Seeing his master so easily beaten, Chappu tried to run away, but he was also knocked out when Double D hit him over the head with Babbo's hammer.
And so with that out of the way, the two left to try and find shelter.
It was nighttime by the time the two of them got out of those woods. Not a word has been spoken since the incident, but Babbo suddenly stopped hopping.
"Is something the matter, Babbo?" Double D asked.
Babbo released a sigh.
"Well… I've been thinking. I've been rude…" Babbo admitted. "And as a gentleman, I can't stand that! Forgive me, Double D! And thank you!"
Double D smiled at that apology. He was truly touched by how humble Babbo was being right now.
"Why thank you, Babbo! And I admit my own behavior was much less than spectacular…"
"And! As a gesture of my gratitude, I will now agree… to let you accompany me as my sidekick! Oh, you lucky boy!"
Suddenly, Double D was feeling much less than polite.
"Yes, well… I simply can't allow you to go out there yourself! Your own immature behavior may get you into even more trouble!"
Now both of them were sweating profusely and had multiple anime tick marks on their heads. Once again, the argument begins.
"Stinky hat!"
"Probing proboscis nose!"
"Stinky hat!"
"SUPERFICIAL SNIFFING SNOUT!"
"STINKY HAT!"
Their argument was brought to an abrupt halt when they both caught sight of something that looked like a blessing in disguise.
"Strange… now what would a settlement be doing in a place like this?" Double D asked.
Meanwhile, Mokku and Chappu were sitting by a campfire as they waited for their dinner to cook.
"Master Mokku, are you certain those two can never be friends?" Chappu asked.
"I'm beginning to wonder…" said Mokku.
Back with Double D and Babbo, the two of them have just walked up to what appeared to be a farm house. It looked kind of old and rundown, but it appeared to still be functional. There was even a garden full of freshly grown vegetables out front.
While they looked appetizing, Double D managed to restrain himself. But then he heard crunching and saw Babbo scarfing down the veggies without permission!
"BABBO NO! YOU CAN'T EAT THOSE! They're not ours to consume! Besides, we haven't any money to pay for those!" exclaimed Double D.
That's when the door slammed open to reveal a boy around Double D's age. And boy, did he look mad!
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU MONSTERS! IF YOU DESTROY ANYMORE O' THIS GARDEN-!"
Double D was frozen in fear and shock while Babbo had stopped mid chew. The boy stared at them for a few seconds with a stupid look on his face before he finally spoke.
"Wh-Who… are you?!"
*Later…*
"My word! These vegetables are absolutely delicious! If it isn't too much trouble, may I please have a second helping?"
Double D and Babbo had been invited into the boy, who they now know is called Jack, and his mother's house where the two had been fed by Jack's mother. And she seemed all too happy to do so. But Jack wasn't so trusting.
"You think we're workin' this farm just fer-"
Jack was cut off by a slap upside the head from his mother, who was smiling warmly at Double D.
"When's the last time we had a human visitor? Eat up, sonny!" she said.
Jack's mother is the definition of a stereotype farm girl, as proven by her more rustic clothing. But she certainly seemed nice enough, if a little violent.
"So, what's your name anyway?" Jack demanded.
"Oh, of course! Where are my manners? My name is Edd with two Ds. Just call me Double D."
"And that…?"
"Thank you kindly, ma'am!" Babbo said as he ate a vegetable. "I tried to tell the fool to stop, but he'd already started hogging!"
"Pure fiction, Babbo! Your tale is nothing but utter cockamamie!" Double D stated.
But while Jack's head started to steam up from all the mental questions he was asking, Double D decided to ask his mom a few questions.
"Pardon me, miss, but are you acquainted with this boy?"
"That's my son, Jack! We make our living by growin' and sellin' these vegetables." she explained.
Hearing this made Double D stop eating. He'd been so busy filling his empty belly, he'd forgotten a crucial detail.
"I deeply apologize, ma'am, but I'm afraid we haven't any money…"
"I don't want your money! Just eat up and rest up!" Jack's mother exclaimed. "This is just like having another son! I'm gonna make you soup tomorrow!"
Seeing and hearing her motherly acts made Double D think back to his time in the Cul-de-sac. There were lots of times where Ed and Eddy's parents would invite him over for meals, and every time he was treated as part of the family.
"Thank you, Ma'am! Your kindness and hospitality is certainly very much appreciated!" Double D said, all the while wondering how his friends were doing.
Just then, an evil sounding howl echoed through the area. Jack's eyes narrowed dangerously as he rushed out the door with Double D not too far behind. Although Double D didn't make it outside, Jack came back inside holding a piece of paper with a paw print on it. And from the looks of it, it wasn't a good sign.
"Jack, care to explain?" Double D requested.
Jack sighed as everyone sat back down at the table to listen. He had a lot to get off his chest.
"They started coming here about a year ago... Started eatin' our vegetables without permission or payment..." Jack explained. "The Rogelu Brothers! Werewolves!"
"Werewolves?! Sounds intriguing! Do they really look like wolves?" Double D asked.
"There ain't nothin' intriguing about bandits!" yelled Jack.
After he calmed down from his small outburst, Jack continued his tale.
"They know I don't have a dad to protect us..." He said looking down at his fists. "...So they come stealin' from us like it's their right!"
"Oh dear…! This must be hurting your farm quite a bit." Double D said, attempting to offer his sympathy.
But Jack just waved him off.
"Don't worry about it."
"A year, eh?"
They all turned their attention to Babbo. Turns out he was only pretending to be asleep.
"That's a long time to be pushed around! And during that time... Did you ever fight with your whole heart... Boy named Jack?"
"I FIGHT WITH EVERYTHING I'VE GOT! I DO!" Jack yelled as he rose from the chair he was sitting in.
How DARE this talking globe just up and question his will to fight?! Who does he think he is?! But Jack then looks down and closes his eyes.
"But..."
Jack then begins to tell them about the first time he confronted those bandit werewolves.
Memory start
"Ooo, so Jack's gonna get us, hmmm?" A gruff, raspy voice says in a mocking tone.
Jack was trying to scare away these two werewolves, but seemed to be frozen in fear. The only thing you can make out from the two werewolves, is their silhouettes.
"What're ya gonna do if we tear up your garden, Jack?"
"Scare us, Jack!" A second voice sounding much like the first says in the same mocking tone. But this one is a bit deeper than the first.
"We're vegetarian werewolves, so we won't eat you or your old hag... But with these claws and fangs... We could make you a nice treat for the vultures!" The first wolf says baring his fangs.
Jack looks like he wants to fight, but instead begins trembling instead of trying to fight. His brain was saying 'slaughter them!' but his body wasn't listening!
"Well? Your legs are shaking Jack. Aren't you gonna scare us away?!"
"What happened to that chintzy Ärm you said was a memento of your dead dad?"
"C'mon! Activate it!"
"Then we'll bare these fangs of ours...in self-defense of course! Hee-Hee!"
"Or you can stand there like a scarecrow...as usual!"
The two kept taunting him, knowing the young farmer was just too scared to fight for real. The nerve of those two walking flea-condo's!
"Show us your fangs!"
"C'mon, Jack!"
'Curse you... Curse you... CURSE YOU!'Jack thought to himself as he cursed his own fear!
Memory Over
"Well, no wonder they laugh at y-YARGH!"
Babbo began to tease Jack for his cowardice before Double D punched him in the face. Hard.
"What did you do THAT for?!" Babbo yelled in outrage.
But he then saw the look of determination on Double D's face. However, before things could escalate any further, Jack's mother cut into the conversation.
"Please! It can't be helped! These are werewolves! Vegetables I can always plant more of..." She then smiled brightly. "But I could never get another you, Jack. You're my only flesh and blood."
The young boy and his Ärm were dumbfounded by how lax she was about the destruction of her crops. It was getting late, so everyone decided to go to bed, and get some rest. They'd need it for tomorrow.
*The Next Day…*
"Very well then, leave it to us!" Double D told Jack as said boy was plowing his fields.
"Leave what?" Jack asked.
"Werewolf extermination! We're gonna fight those furballs and send them crying to their mommies!" Double D explained. "Oh, I'm getting goosebumps just imagining it!"
"Showing off again eh, Sockhead? Well, have fun!" Babbo said.
"Oh, don't you think I'm letting you off so easily! You will be assisting me in this endeavor!" Double D proclaimed.
Babbo just made a face that said 'why?' So Double D decided to clarify.
"You are a gentleman aren't you? And aren't gentlemen supposed to assist people in need?" Double D asked, hoping to appeal to Babbo's vanity.
Fortunately, for him it seemed to work!
"Thanks... Double D, you're a good guy!" Jack said, truly thankful for the offer.
Babbo fell flat on his face at the fact that he was being ignored by Jack!
"But no thanks! This is something I have to do alone! I'm gonna crush my cowardice!" Jack explained, tightening his grip on the hoe he was plowing with.
Double D didn't like this. Especially considering the consequences of being an only child.
"BUT IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN, YOUR MOTHER WOULD..."
"Double D, don't!" Babbo interjected. "He's trying to become a man!"
Double D was taken by surprise by Babbo's sudden seriousness. It seems like the Ärm can be quite serious when he wants to be.
"How'd I look just now? Was I dapper? Was I fabulous?!" Babbo asked.
And just like that, all seriousness had vanished.
Later that night, Jack had made sure that everyone else was asleep before he made his way out to the garden. Unknown to him, when he closed the door, he woke Double D from his supposed slumber.
"It's time to put operation: Jack becomes a Man into action!"
*To Be Continued…*
Remember to vote on my poll! I really hope to get some votes so I can advance this story and make it better!
*Translation: QUIT SQUEEZING MY NOSE! YOU ARE SO, SO, SO REPULSIVE!*