Several days later, Rupert Giles was in the Sunnydale High School library, seated in his desk chair and leaning forward so that his face and upper body rested upon the top of this worktable, arms morosely crossed over his head, as the sullen man wondered, for the dozenth time during this Monday morning, whether the whole bloody world had gone insane, or if the particular brand of preposterous madness he'd encountered a few minutes ago was confined solely to the American higher educational facility currently deserving in full its title of the Hellmouth.
The previous weekend hadn't given Giles any inkling of the coming aggravation headed his way. It had been a rare quiet couple of days, with the Scoobies busy with their own non-demonic affairs and not around each other as usual. Giles had spent his time puttering around his apartment, catching up with household chores and doing the odd bit of research while dusting off his occult books. It had taken him until at least midday to finally remember his promise to his young charges, and to then make an overseas telephone call to the English law firm that took care of his family's legal affairs, leaving a message directing that a specific bequest be completed at last and the resulting funds were to be wired to his account in a local Sunnydale bank.
Another call to his solicitors after breakfast on Monday caused Giles to learn the agreeable news that his request had been speedily accomplished, and the man had then taken himself off in his brisk walk to the high school. Where the unforeseen lunacy had begun, right at the very moment he'd stepped inside that building.
Passing through the front doors, Giles had been making his way through the throng of students in the corridors heading to their first classes, when a slab of youthful beef had loomed up before the librarian, causing that Englishman to stop short lest he collide with an unfamiliar, massive teenage male wearing his SHS jacket that was straining to cover shoulders the width of a barn door. As Giles gazed in sheer confusion at this unknown student before him, that young man had grinned at the faculty member and rumbled, "Hey, Mr. Gilligan, heard you were gonna buy a new car. Don't forget to get something that'll impress the chicks."
Placidly nodding towards the mature man gaping at him, the school football player then plodded away, leaving behind himself a bewildered Rupert Giles shaking his head at that extremely bizarre encounter, as he bemusedly headed down the hall corridor towards the library. Only to meet along the way at least a half-dozen more students with their own comments and suggestions about his future purchase of a motor vehicle, accompanied by a concurrent 0 for 6 inability to address him by his proper, correct name.
A perturbed Giles had managed in the end to scuttle to safety inside the library, and he quickly seated himself at his desk, all while ignoring the others already there, as that older man glumly lowered his head onto his desk. Willow was in her own chair at another table and happily humming to herself as she worked away at her computer, and Buffy was doing her Slayer exercises at the far corner of the library. Strangely enough, both girls were also ostensibly paying no attention to Giles in his dejected posture-
As sudden misgivings now developed in the Briton's brain, he shifted his right arm to suspiciously peer out of the corner of that eye at the two young women there acting totally innocent, which only further made up Giles' mind, as he then growled from where he was still face-down on the desk, "Ladies, did you by any chance inform your fellow students today about my plans to purchase a new car?"
Idly shrugging as she continued to glance through the local car ads shown on her computer screen, Willow didn't look up as she casually replied, "I think I might have said something about it to a couple of people, Giles."
After finishing that offhand sentence, the red-haired girl had to actually bite her tongue to keep the giggles currently arising inside herself from erupting forth at hearing the hollow groan coming from where the librarian was seated, with that despairing noise then followed by a pleading, "Buffy?"
From the corner of the library where she'd spent the last five minutes in her one-armed handstand, Buffy maintained her absolute concentration while examining her newest shade of fingernail polish upon the fingers of the other hand now in front of her face, as she nonchalantly answered, "Oh, yeah, I let that slip to a few of the other girls in the restroom here, but honestly, I swore them all to secrecy, so trust me, they probably didn't breathe a single word about it to anyone else!"
At the faint whimper that cavalier comment now produced from the desk, Willow had to slump down in her own chair to hide behind her computer monitor while also clapping a hand over her mouth, all to keep from shrieking with laughter. The soft sniggering coming from behind Willow further in the library bookshelves, where a hidden teenage boy had been previously replacing books back there while eavesdropping to all that had just been said, made it even more difficult for the Jewish girl to suppress her mirth.
In an effort to once more get herself under control, Willow went back to work on her computer, only to abruptly shift to another quick search for information on a different site, as a truly delicious brainwave then occurred to herself. When Willow gleefully read what was on the computer screen, she then gaily started humming loudly enough to at once attract the others' attention.
At that exact moment, Giles in his chair, Buffy in her corner, and Xander poking his head around a bookshelf now saw Willow bounce up out of her chair, to stand there while facing the librarian's desk, as that redhead merrily shook her finger at the man gaping back in shock at seeing and hearing Willow start singing in her clear, joyous voice:
"She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got
My little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got!"
Still frozen in his utter astonishment, only Giles' eyes moved, to then switch to where Buffy had been listened in her own absolute amazement, until the upside-down Slayer abruptly performed a forward flip with a half-twist to land on her feet facing the others, a wide grin appearing upon her face, as Buffy now strutted ahead to stand by Willow finishing her melody. Once her friend had stopped, Buffy then put her hands on her hips, and the blonde girl started her own lively tune while smirking at an immobile Englishman:
"Baby, you can drive my car
Yes, I'm gonna be a star
Baby, you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you!"
At that last word, both Buffy and Willow turned their delighted faces towards each other, as they now harmonized on the chorus:
"Beep beep'm beep beep yeah!"
The two girls finished their duet by doing a high-five together, only to stop with their arms in mid-air, as Xander then skidded into sight from behind the bookshelf, sliding along the library floor in his socks after kicking off his sneakers, performing a perfect imitation of Tom Cruise's character in the movie Risky Business. Though, fortunately, Xander kept his pants on.
Still, as that boy stopped in his slide, he threw up his hands in mock surprise in the direction of the two girls there next to each other, and Xander stared with wide, admiring eyes at his friends, while he now did his own classic rock n' roll song:
"Well, I'm standin' on a corner
In Winslow, Arizona
And such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord
In a flatbed Ford
Slowin' down to have a look at me!"
In the middle of Xander's number, a thrilled Buffy and Willow abruptly shifted their bodies into sexy poses, all while gently shaking their hips and shooting towards the singing boy a pair of sultry looks.
Right after that, as Xander finished, an extremely jubilant Slayer quickly brought up her right hand, to begin rhythmically snapping her fingers in time with humming a sprightly tune. From where he was at his desk, straightening up to dazedly watch all this, Giles though that what Buffy was doing sounded rather familiar, but he couldn't quite place it at this specific moment. Unlike over there, as ear-to-ear grins broke out upon the faces of Willow and Xander, as they evidently recognized the song, and they began snapping their own fingers in time with the beat.
It was only when the teenage trio traded glances and nodded one-two-three to synchronize themselves, as they all then began singing together while dancing towards Giles' desk, that the librarian finally got it. *OH, NO, NOT THAT!*
"Well, she's got her daddy's car
And she cruised through the hamburger stand now
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now
And with the radio blasting
Goes cruising just as fast as she can now.
And she'll have fun, fun, fun
Til her daddy takes the t-bird awaaaaay!"
Stopping short of the desk, Buffy, Willow, and Xander stretched out the final word of their song, and as they ended on a high note, they all bowed deeply in unison, to then come up happily panting and looking right into the deadpan features of the Englishman in his chair.
After a few more frozen moments, this mature male's steady gaze then slowly roamed along the three beaming faces of his children-in-heart, to finally settle upon the elated features of Buffy Summers in the center of the trio before him, as Rupert Giles now opened his own mouth, and he sarcastically sang to them:
"Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you!"