Three days had passed sense the funeral and the family had spent every waking mom ent they could at the hospital. Lisa and her daughters had taken over the bar chores to allow Jack and Lou to be with Amy who still hadn't woken. The girls had been a great help but they had been talking the night shifts at the hospital to allow Lou and Jack to sleep alone without Amy spending the night alone. That left Lisa doing large amounts of heavy labor. She mucked stalls, feed horses and moved cows dally.
She was tired. But in a way it was cathartic, it allowed her to work through her thoughts and emotions. Much of the barn work was things she had done her whole life just on a large scale and the cattle work was something she used Paint for and she honestly felt he would have done it without her atop his back if she had let him.
Somehow after moving cows to the south field Lisa found herself at the cemetery. She dismounted and looped Paint's reins around the fence and when she looked up, she realized that she was not alone. A tall dark figure with a cowboy hat was knelt at Marion's grave.
Before Lisa could decide weather to leave quietly or make her presence known Paint snorted and the man jumped to his feet and wiped his face. Lisa stepped forward and lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude."
"It's fine I shouldn't even be here." Tim said moving towards Lisa.
"You have just as much right to be here as anyone else. Her friends deserve to say goodbye too."
Tim shook his head. "I don't think she'd call me a friend. I think she would have called me every other name in the book but friend." Tim paused, "We had a- falling out. Years ago. And I heard what happened and I just got in the car and started driving. I never apologized for the way I treated her. She saved my life and I didn't even know it because I was young and stupid." Tim's voice cracked. "She gave me a life and I just threw it all away."
Realization that the cowboy was Marion's ex hit Lisa like a ton of bricks. "You know Marion told me once, that forgiveness and understanding are the two most important parts of the healing process for horses. They need to forgive people for all the hurt they have caused them and understand what happened before they can learn to trust again."
Tim chuckled slightly. "Yea that sounds like her."
"When I first met Marion, I was pretty broken. My ex-husband and I we got married really young. And we had three kids, lost our son in the military and after that my husband changed, he drank did drugs, and he was emotionally and physically abusive. So I left with my daughters and came here. Marion has always preached this forgiveness and understanding stuff and she and I spent hours and hours talking about everything that's happened. I've known her for 8 years and it took me 6 to find that forgiveness. We've had several wonderful conversations now on the phone and I've gained that forgiveness and understanding she talked about. She defiantly had forgiveness and understanding about you leaving her and the kids." Lisa said. "I think you need to forgive yourself and look at why it was you left and how it helped you. From what I understand you where in a bad place. Are you in a better place now?"
Tim nodded. "Clean and sober. Working."
Lisa smiled slightly, "Good. Then practice what Marion preached and find some forgiveness and understanding. Don't let guilt and grief destroy your life."
Tim nodded trying to find words for a response to this stranger pouring out her heart. "Thank you?"
"Lisa. Lisa Bartlet."
Tim froze stunned, "Bartlet?"
Lisa paused, "I am Jack's wife."
"Jacks wife? So he's remarried. How. How are you so nice to me? He must have said such awful things about me."
Lisa looked at Marion's grave. "Just because I'm Jack's wife doesn't mean I didn't spend 8 years at the dinner table with Marion Fleming. I live by her motto: Forgiveness and understanding." And with that Lisa moved toward Paint, "It was nice to meet you Tim. I hope to see you around." And with a node she rode away leaving without doing what she had come to do but feeling like Marion had somehow intended for this encounter to occur.
On her ride home Lisa decided not to tell Jack and Lou about her encounter with Tim. By the time she untacked Paint and returned to the house there was a tearful voice message from Lou for her telling her that Amy had awoken.
~~~Heartland~~~
These bills they are all unpaid. Grandpa, Lisa why didn't you do something earlier? Banks are calling every day." Lou chastised upset.
"Your mother has done the finances for years. She always had it in hand." Jack reasoned.
Lisa nodded, "And your mom and I came to the conclusion a long time ago that this was her business and me getting involved in the finances would only complicate things. Besides that I have Fairfield to run."
Lou sniffed back tears. "Grandpa why can't you just use the dishwasher?" She moved to take the dishes from his hands. "Just let me do it."
Dishes clattered and Lou dropped a plate to the floor with a clatter. "Why the hell did mom and Amy have to go up to Mallon's Farm?" Lou was in-between shouting and crying.
"That's what your mom did Lou. She saved horses in trouble.
"In the middle of the night? In the middle of a storm?" Lou paused and wiped a tear from her eyes. "That creepy drunk Mallon."
Lou jumped as she heard Amy slam her door shut. Lou covered her face and sank to the floor crying. "I was so awful to mom. I hated her. And even now I still hate her, for doing that to Amy, for being so irresponsible. She took a huge risk and didn't think about how it would effect the rest of us. I don't have a mother anymore. She's just suddenly gone. I mean when I was in New York we didn't talk much but it was nice to know that she was there. That she was happy and alive and I could call her. When Amy woke up, I went to call mom and I got her voicemail and I realized she would never get it." Lou's voice broke. "She will never get to see me or Amy get married or have kids. She will never be able to give me life advice or chastise me for doing something dumb." And with that, Lou broke down and began to sob.
Jack bent down to comfort her but that only made Lou cry harder and she lept up and rushed to her room.
Cora who had been sitting at the kitchen table quietly doodling on her napkin looked up, "You sure know how to clear a room." She said dryly before realizing it might not have been the appropriate thing to say in a time like this. She had an odd sense of humor, she knew that but having lived in New York for so long as an artist she had forgotten that this wasn't the time or place to speak her mind or make inappropriate jokes. "I'm sorry. That was inappropriate-"
"It's alright Cora. I really do know how to clear a room." Jack sat down next to her grateful for the distraction. "Now tell me about your new art gallery showing."
Cora smiled, "It's paintings of Hudson and well mostly Heartland. I have this one its of the sunset, you know how it sets across the way here and just seems to light up the world in all the different colors, well I attempted that and it's my favorite. But I am working on this sculpture thing that's pretty cool too. I already have a buyer too so that's good." Cora droned on distracting Jack at the surface from his troubles.
Lisa watched from the dining room where she had strewn papers with a slight smile. Her oldest daughter was living a different life than she had envisioned for her. One of large cities and Midnight art shows in Brooklyn. Lisa was cultured, and she loved to travel, but she couldn't imagine calling such a large city home. Cora had a unique sense of humor, one that she used to defect her feelings, and while it often got her in trouble, Lisa was grateful for it in this moment as she watched a bit of life on Jack's face as Cora described how her bed folded out of the wall and her closet was also the bathroom.
Cora was incredibly artistic and devoted her life to painting and sculpting. As a teenager Cora had wanted nothing more than to be like Lou. Lou was two years older and had a lot of big exiting ideas about New York and while the two girls where not close in reality, Cora had always idolized Lou's every move. In Cora's young mind she had been too old to be close with Amy and Clare who had been inseparable instantly, and Lou was only two years older… But two years was a lot and it got Cora in to trouble often. Lisa worried that her living in New York, even though she had lived there for several years, was part of her teenage quest to gain Lou's approval.
Between the times that Lou left and the time that Cora left Cora had fought with Lisa daily. They fought over dying her hair, wearing tight tops and everything else one could imagine. And during that time Cora had turned to Jack. The two had always had a close relationship, out of the two of her girls Cora had always been closer. It had been her idea to become formally adopted and to call him dad. But before she left for school they had become even closer and when she had left Lisa noticed Jack moping for weeks after. Jack was a different kind of person, he didn't do things the way everyone else did. And she supposed Cora was the same way and that was why they had gotten along so well. As she looked at the two that night she forgot for a moment what year it was. It seemed like Cora was 17 again and Lisa half expected Marion to come around the corner with popcorn and ask if she wanted to go on the porch and drink wine and complain about being a parent to teenagers.
God how Lisa missed Marion. She was never really like a stepdaughter. She was more of a sister or friend. Marion was wise beyond her years and provided Lisa with more profound advice than a minister or philosopher or life coach ever could have. Lisa owed her a great deal of thanks for all that she had done. She looked over at her picture on the mantle. "I will take care of them." She whispered. She glanced at the most recent family picture taken last Christmas. "All of them."
~~~Heartland~~~
I really want to make Marion's death more meaningful and try to incorporate all the things that she might have done with horses in to how she treated people. I had to kill her even though this is AU because it's such a big part of the story but I think she lives on in the show a lot and it's just not talked about. So I am addressing her "legacy" here beginning in this chapter and continuing with Ty in the next chapter. This became a supper Lisa centric chapter and I have no idea how that happened because this was supposed to address Amy coming home but I guess I will try to do that in the next chapter.
Let me know what you think.