Summary: With a wedding comes joy but when you're a royal chaos follows shortly after.
Authors Note: This was intended to be a one-shot. The first chapter was supposed to end as a cliffhanger but from the reviews and messages I was greeted to it seems you curious Loyals need to know the fate of Jasper. Just remember, you asked for it. I apologize if there are any mistakes I was released from the Hospital yesterday, stuck in bed today but was drawn to write. Reviews and reactions make my day and I definitely need it. Now, on with the show.
Today would be different.
Today Eleanor Henstridge wouldn't find an excuse to sleep in.
Today a poor footmen or Rachel wouldn't hear Eleanor mouth off to them when they'd request her Highness to get up.
Today for once the Princess would be on time because she was already up, dressed and ready to go. Today called for her being on time because as much as she wanted to delay it, deep down in her heart she knew it wouldn't change a thing.
The sound of someone knocking at her door causing her to turn away from her vanity and cast it forward. For that split second, she envisioned him walking in. The French Double doors both opening as he crossed the threshold of her room as if he owned the place, owned her. The sound of the bolt locking into place as he shut out the rest of the world, leaving it only to be them.
"Len, the car is here, are you ready to go?"
It wasn't him. It was Liam standing in her room and from the attire he wore it only confirmed her worst fear.
"Who could ever be ready for something like this?"
Turning her attention away from her brother and casting it back towards her vanity mirror. A woman that she can't even recognize she finds staring back at her with vacant eyes. She had experienced loss before, walked through the fires to gain her strength back but this would be different. No longer would she find that strength because her strength was gone and it wasn't coming back. Neither was the woman she had grown to be. It takes her a second to register that strong arms are wrapping around her and helping her out of her chair.
"I've got you, Len."
Liam's words causing her to crash into him as she leans onto him for whatever support he may offer. She's silent the rest of the way as they walk through the corridors. She swallows back a sob as they pass the library and she's hit with past memories. Moments of when her heart raced each time she discovered a new letter, his letter.
"What the bloody hell is he doing here?"
The Princess practically shrieks as her eyes fall on Robert who is now exiting the other car.
"Eleanor"
Her mother's tone more gentle than scolding.
"You haven't answered my question, what are you doing here Robert?"
Yup, she had dropped the titles. No longer did she refer to him as brother or Robbie because as far as Eleanor was concerned she had lost her brother some time ago.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Robert but his face remains neutral as he adjusts his jacket.
"I'm here to pay my respects towards Jasper."
A scoff suddenly escaping Eleanor finding herself appalled by such a comment.
"That's really rich coming from you. You never respected him, in-fact you're the reason we broke up."
"I did what was best."
Biting her tongue and letting her hands ball into fists.
"For you!"
"I might not have approved of him to be with my sister, the Princess of England but he saved my life and for that, I can say he was a damn good bodyguard."
"This is your fault. He's gone because of you. Everyone warned you and tried to persuade you not to take to that balcony. You put your own family's life in jeopardy because your god damn pride won over logic and because of it I lost Jasper."
"It's a Bodyguard's duty to serve and protect his King and if there is one thing Frost did right it was that."
Since Robert had begun talking Eleanor's nails were digging into her palms to keep herself from snapping. That all changed though the moment Robert degraded Jasper.
"You bastard"
She's launched herself forward, having the intention to claw off his face but her nails never meet his flesh. Instead, James Hill is holding her back.
"Let me go, James, he deserves it."
By now Liam has brought himself front and center standing at Eleanor's other side.
"You're right he certainly does. He deserves the pain, the guilt, and the hate that you, I and anyone else who cared for Jasper will send his way. He deserves it all but not today because today is for Jasper. You'll have years to resent Robert but you'll only have one real chance to say goodbye. Make it be worth something."
Eleanor's hand relaxing drawing James to release his hold on her but had it been up to him he would have let her sock the King. With a look of disgust, she shoves past her brother and creates whatever distance she can between them. She hears the clicking and clacking of her mother's heels hot on her tail and she finds herself grateful that today her mum is by her side, not the Queen.
The service is small, private and it makes Eleanor realize that Jasper really didn't have a lot of people in his life. As the Priest continues to speak she zones out. Instead, she looks to those who are here to say goodbye. Robert, Willow, Liam, her Mother, Rosie and James Hill who has yet to let go of Sara Alice's little hand. Of course, there are other palace security guards but she knows well enough to know they're merely here out of respect, not because they were close to Jasper.
"In the name of God, the merciful Father we commit the body of Jasper Frost to the peace of the grave."
Hearing his name said aloud causing a sob to slip past her lips. At one side she has Liam who has yet to let go of her hand and to the other side stands her mum who now has wrapped a comforting arm around her daughter.
"At this time if anyone would like to speak now is the time to do so before we say farewell."
It's Robert who moves first accompanied by Willow; one look from Liam though is enough for him to keep whatever comment he has to himself. Instead he and Willow each lay a rose on the casket. His gaze lingering on it for a moment more before he returns back to his spot.
It takes a moment but Liam steps forward, placing the rose on the casket and gently patting it as if he's patting his mate's back.
"He came from a broken home. He wasn't blessed with the riches that we were accustomed to. He did what he had to in order to survive and some of those choices were wrong but eventually, he found himself on the right path. He took care of our family and he brought justice to our father. He was a good man, he was a good friend and if I'm being honest he was more than just a friend."
Liam's eyes now finding Robert's as he says this last line.
"He was my brother." Turning back to the casket once more offering a shadow of a smile "I'll miss you."
Tears are welling in Eleanor's eyes at this point in time. She feels her mother's touch disappear as she steps forward. She doesn't address the group, only Jasper and though it's hushed Eleanor hears it.
"I always rooted for you Bodyguard, thank you for everything you've done for this family. I hope you find the peace you've always deserved."
A small hand refusing to let go of her fathers as James Hill makes his way up front. Both him and Sara Alice laying the roses down. One hand clasping Sara's hand and the other resting on the small of her back.
"I don't stand here today as a Boss or a superior. I stand here today to say goodbye to my friend. He made his mistakes but he made up for them. For someone who wasn't given a large amount of love" his attention lowering to Sara Alice as he squeezes her hand and then looks back to Eleanor, "he had so much to give. If I was to ever have a son and he was to turn out like him I'd consider myself a proud and blessed man, rest in peace son."
He's about to start leading them back to the others but Sara Alice doesn't move. She doesn't budge. She just stays there as her eyes remain trained on the casket. She's still too young to understand everything but from the crestfallen expression from those around her, she can understand that this is goodbye. Finally, she releases James hand, her movements hesitant and slow as she makes her way over towards the casket. She eyes it for a moment and then she's spreading her arms over it. To the adults, she's hugging a casket but to a little girl like her, she's hugging Jasper.
"I'll miss you Mister Caterpillar."
One by one Eleanor looks on as each of the guards place a rose onto the casket. Some choosing to say a few words and others simply there to pay their respects.
"Darling"
Helena's soothing voice snapping Eleanor from wherever her thoughts had drifted and she lets it sink in it's now her turn to speak. Her fingers clasping the necklace, the necklace that Jasper had intended to give Eleanor on Christmas if things hadn't been shot to hell. She holds onto it for added strength and moves forward causing all eyes to now be on her.
"For the longest time, I allowed myself to believe the silly notion that I knew what love was. My first love had been Beck or at least that's what I assumed. Until I realized the meaning of love. It's about how far someone is willing to go for the other, how you take a chance on it, fight for it, believe in it, make sacrifices for it and you're willing to risk it all."
"I didn't have that with Beck. I was kept concealed in the shadows and sought out only when it seemed fitting. That was the only love I knew and since I was so naïve I accepted it without question."
"Until you"
No longer is her attention on the others but instead, it's focused on the casket.
"You made me understand what love is, real love. You took a girl who believed she was unworthy, unloved and unworthy of being loved and you made her see differently. Yes, some of your choices were wrong but deep down you always had the right intentions. You made me experience a happiness I had never known and for that, I could try placing into words how grateful I am but even that wouldn't be enough. You gave me so much and for that, I will always love you."
Eleanor's attention now moving forward as her attention is trained on Robert wanting him to register these next words.
"Beck is what I consider puppy love at best. Jasper Frost is my first love, my true love, and my only love. There will never be another Jasper Frost and I will never love a man the way I loved him because there is only him."
Lifting her hand to her lips she presses a kiss against her fingers, trying to ignore how they tremble as she lays them onto the casket. Tears she had been fighting back while she had been speaking she allows to fall one by one until it's a full-on flood.
"Rest in peace Jasper, I love you."
The burial was coming to a close. The priest had just said 'ashes, to ashes, dust to dust' and was dropping dirt onto the casket. It was slowly starting to sink in that this was it. After this Eleanor would be forced to live her life without Jasper Frost. Everyone else would find the strength to get by. The world would still spin madly on without him and she'd just be frozen in time. Frozen in a time where she had been happy, not broken but mended and not lost but found.
Her mind was realizing it and so was her body. She felt bile begin to creep up her throat and her very stomach drop. Her body began to tremble and if she pushed herself to walk she wouldn't be able to because her legs refused to move. She felt as if the very earth was crumbling beneath her and like her world was falling apart. She had experienced this feeling countless times and now she was feeling it in full force. Tears blurred her vision but she could see her loved ones slowly making their way over towards the cars.
"Darling it's time to go."
Helena's voice coming from behind her but she doesn't move.
"Come on Len, it's time to go home."
Liam's voice following but still she doesn't move.
Home, such a foreign word to her. She had realized home didn't need to be found in a place. It could be found in a person and Jasper had been that person. Jasper had been her home and now she was homeless.
"I can't"
Her hand once again clasping onto the necklace.
"Eleanor"
Helena's voice gentle and soothing as ever as she places her hand tenderly at the small of her daughters back. Her intentions good trying to lead her daughter away but something snaps in Eleanor. Taking a step back as she shakes her head.
"No…..no I won't go…..I won't leave him."
"Len, he's not here he's gone."
Furiously shaking her head and wildly looking back and forth between Liam, her mum, and the casket that those at the burial grounds were starting to lower into the ground. Trying not to pay mind to her Royal Highness's outburst and do their job.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this. I should have said yes. He wanted to run away with me after the wedding. I told him he was a bloody fool and that Robert would have his head but he didn't care….he-he just wanted to be with me no matter what the cost." A wrecked sob escaping her "he gave me this beautiful and heartfelt speech and all I said was that I had to go…because I used Willow's phone-call as an excuse to get away because all I wanted to do was run back into his arms but I was scared. I was scared that I would get hurt again, that I would lose him an-and I still did….only there isn't hope that we can fix things because he's gone."
It feels as if someone has knocked the wind out of her or swept the ground right from under her as she collapses onto the ground.
"Oh god, he's gone. I didn't even get to tell him I love him."
It's Liam who sinks down next to her gently wrapping his arm around her.
"He knew, he knew Len and that's why he kept fighting because he knew that you were as stubborn as him and just needed the right push to finally see."
"I should have told him"
James Hill has silently made his way back to the family after getting Sara Alice settled into the car. His heart breaks at the sight of Eleanor and in that moment of watching her, she looks small and so fragile. He joins her side, opposite of Liam as both men try to draw her up but she isn't having it.
"Eleanor"
"Len"
"Your Highness"
Their words lost in translation and unheard as she remains unmoving. Finally, both men decide to be a little more firm pulling her up as they begin to escort her up the gravel hill. Leading her towards the cars and further away from Jasper.
"JASPER"
"JASPER"
She's shouting like a mad woman, trying to break free and causing quite the scene but she doesn't care. She suddenly finds it useless because as strong as she is she's not a match for both men. Her eyes screwing shut because she refuses to see herself leave him behind once again.
"Eleanor"
"Eleanor"
"Len"
"Open your eyes."
"Eleanor"
"Eleanor"
Eyes opening, her body jolting upward as her head almost collides against the one trying to check up on her. Eyes wildly darting around taking in her surroundings. Confusion rushing through her realizing she's no longer in the cemetery but in the confines of her own bedroom. A comforting touch now felt at the small of her back as she turns to a concerned shade of blue.
"Was it the same dream again?"
"Ja-Jasper"
Hands moving on their own accord to cup his face and letting her fingers run over his slight stubble.
"Jasper"
Arms throwing themselves around his neck crashing into him and pushing him down onto the mattress as she clings onto him. The action drawing a slight hiss to escape him.
"Easy baby I'm still a work in progress."
Green meeting blue once again and suddenly it's all coming back to her. Jasper Frost had been shot the bullet had torn through his abdomen damaging both his liver and spleen. He had lost a lot of blood resulting in the doctors giving him five units in the surgery he had partaken in. He had been monitored 24/7 considering he had been the King's guard a nurse had always been in his room or posted outside of it. Those twenty-four hours to thirty-six hours of waiting had crippled Eleanor not knowing whether or not he'd make it out alive. When she had finally been granted permission to see him after the surgery it had taken every ounce of strength on her part to step through the door. The man that had laid on the hospital bed had matched the whiteness of the hospital sheets. There had been a tube taped to his face and his eyes had been closed. That had been the most difficult part for Eleanor, living in fear that those gorgeous and soulful blue eyes of his would never open again. Even the sound of her gutted sobs hadn't been loud enough to drown out the sound of the ventilator. Fear had tempted her to leave but love had forced her to stay.
The hospital had become her second home because she had refused to leave his side. Thankfully when being a royal perks came with it. They had moved him to a private room that had the essentials of a kitchen, bathroom, television and rollaway bed. She had never left his side even during the rough times when he'd yell at her. Jasper Frost had always been stubborn but during that recovery period, she had seen a whole other side to it. He had been weak, depending on others and his pride just wasn't a fan of it. He had cursed her out, regretted their relationship and thrown every other hurtful thing in her face and each time she wanted to break, Liam had been there to remind her that Jasper wasn't as strong as he led on and he needed Eleanor. Eventually, when the Doctor declared he was safe to be moved he had been taken back to the palace and moved into a guest room. However, that hadn't lasted long because even though Robert had still tried to keep Eleanor away from him he had realized he was fighting a losing battle. Maybe by title, the Bodyguard belonged to the King but in truth, he belonged to the Princess and nothing could stop that. Eleanor had gotten her way; Jasper had been moved into her bedroom and even though she got annoyed with the many disruptions of the nurses passing though she dealt with it.
Now, he was starting to get back to his old self. Still, he was recommended to take it easy which caused him to be irritable especially when she'd return from an event and he'd go on about how he had to remain in bed. They'd bicker back and forth but one kiss against his lips always shut him up. Robert hadn't sanctioned their relationship and maybe he never would but she knew Jasper's actions of saving her brother's life had, in turn, earned his respect.
"Sorry"
"We're going on two weeks now Len. When will you tell me what you're dreaming about?"
"It doesn't matter"
Wanting to brush the subject off and more so not worry him. Jasper's main priority should be healing himself, not her distressing over me. At least, that's what she tells herself.
Jasper isn't buying it though. With whatever strength he possesses he forces himself into a sitting position. Grateful to have the headboard of the bed so that he can rest his back against it.
"Bullshit"
"Seriously Jasper it's not a big deal. I'm sorry to have woken you, go back to sleep. I know you need your rest."
Giving a slight roll of his eyes along with sending her a knowing look.
"All I do is rest and recuperate."
"It's part of the healing process."
"Well, it's boring."
A crack of a smile forming over her features at his snarky comment. For a moment, she doesn't see a man but a little boy who's about to pitch a fit. Glancing down when she notices that his hand is laying atop hers.
"Trust me I'm not missing any sleep considering I don't really sleep much at night."
"Why not?"
"I"
Lips pursed together as he falls silent for a few beats. Debating on whether he should share this with her but one look from her is enough for him to continue.
"I'm afraid to close my eyes. That when I finally open them you won't be here and it terrifies the hell out of me. It's easier in the afternoon because you're usually gone at some shit show garden party or some other ridiculous event but I know you'll return. At night, it's different because you're beside me, you're sleeping I'm scared that I'll wake up and you won't be here. Maybe you had gotten up to use the bathroom or something but for those short moments I'll panic."
"Jasper"
Eleanor's fingers intertwining with his own. Lifting his hand to her lips and pressing a kiss against his knuckles before drawing back but still holding his hand.
"I wasn't the one who got shot or had their life on the line, it was you."
Nodding his head in understanding but it still wasn't enough. Squeezing her hand to reassure himself that she's here beside him.
"It could have been you. I could not have seen the gunman or stepped in the way to block you. I could have lost you and whatever chance of a future we hoped to build together…. God Len."
Using his free hand to run his fingers through his blonde locks. Noting that his hair had grown a bit longer and would need a good trim soon.
"I know they say don't live your life solely for one person but clearly they haven't experienced the kind of love that I hold for you. When I look at you I see what I define as happiness, hope, and love. If that was to be stripped from me…. I wouldn't know how to live. As far as I'm concerned Eleanor, my life and my heart are found in you."
Their foreheads now pressed together as they close their eyes and breathe the other in. Eleanor, finding that strength to be vulnerable and tell Jasper the truth.
"I lost you"
It's whispered but he hears it. Confusion sweeping through him, eyes open and drawing back so that he can get a better look at her.
"What?"
"In my dream, it takes place during the events of th-that day. Everything happens the way it did. You take a bullet for my brother and you're rushed to the hospital but instead of coming back to me you die. I wake up and it's the next day. The funeral, the burial service and I'm forced to say goodbye but…. b-but."
By now she's trembling causing Jasper to carefully wrap his arms around her. Embracing her and giving her the added reassurance that he always seeks.
"I'm here. You're not going to lose me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
Tears welling in her eyes as she buries her face into the crook of his neck. His comment causing her to furiously shake her head.
"That's an impossible promise to make. We don't know what the world could do to us or take from us."
Eleanor muttering against his chest. She's right. He hates it but she's right because at the end of the day they really don't know what tomorrow could bring.
"You're right. We can't predict today, tomorrow or the days that follow but I can promise you something."
Sniffling against his shirt.
"What?"
"To not walk away. To not keep you in the dark so that whatever shit storm your brother, the people or the world throws our way we'll face it together. The way it's supposed to be."
For a moment, Jasper believes she had fallen asleep against his chest but finally he meets her eyes. Eleanor's thumb running along his cheek.
"The way it's meant to be."
Both smiling at each other at the promise that is being made between them. Eleanor, once again speaking up.
"I'll hold you to it. Best be wise to not go against your word Bodyguard."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Princess."
"You really think we're going to be okay?"
Sinking down more so that his back is now lying on the mattress. Eleanor following suit as she settles herself against his chest.
"Yes, I do"
Smiling when she feels his heartbeat beating beneath her.
"How do you know?"
A soft smile spreading across his features as he wraps his arms around her. Recalling a past conversation between the two of them and a certain 'name' that had caught his attention.
"Because we are Jaspenor."
Jasper's comment drawing a smile of her own to play at her lips, shifting her head so that she can press a kiss against his bare flesh.
"Yes, we are."
Tonight, was different for them because tonight they would sleep soundly. Nightmares where nowhere to be found and panic would never present itself. Instead, the two lay together finding peace and sound. A Bodyguard and his Princess.
Yet, to them, they were simply a boy and a girl who were granted a second chance. Rather than having to say a painful goodbye they had been given the chance to say hello again.
End