Well here is the chapter I've been toiling over. I think some cruel sadistic professor created midterms or tests in general just to torture students. I really do. I hope you like this one because I'm fairly proud of it! Now I have to work on Forgiven but Not Forgotten. Wish me luck!
Disclaimer: I am so utterly poor publishing-wise compared to the great and mighty J.K. Rowling. She owns the characters/setting, I own the plot. Enjoy!
"Mother! Your hair! It's… fuzzy. Hahaha! Your hair is fuzzy. And brown. Like… burnt pancakes!" Draco Malfoy exclaimed to a very frustrated and freaked out Hermione.
"Uh, Malfoy, I'm Hermione… Granger."
"Haha, I like your games Mother. Hello Hermione Granger! I'm Harry Potter. Do you know what's weird?"
She never heard what Draco thought was weird because just as those words came out of his mouth, his eyes rolled into his head and he keeled right over onto Hermione who just so happened to be standing in front of him at the time.
Struggling under the boy's weight, Hermione managed to roll out from under him and bulled the blonde back onto the couch.
"Oh bugger," breathed Hermione, conjuring up a cold pack and placing it on Draco's growing bruises.
"Bugger, bugger, bugger!!"
"Ooh, Mother. You said a bad word. You have a potty mouth!" Draco whispered with wide eyes. Apparently he had awoken from the cold on his head.
Hermione was still gapping at him when he exclaimed, "My head is cold. I'm going to put on some fuzzy socks to keep it warm. Bye!"
"Er…"
Hermione was still trying to work out this logic when Draco popped back out of his dormitory wearing… pink and purple polka-dotted fuzzy socks and singing this:
"I got a really cold head
And some really warm feet.
I hate the color red
And my hair can't be beat!
I got the cold headed bluueess!"
At the top of his lungs clutching one of Hermione's various hairbrushes upright in one of his hands like a wand with the incantation "Sonora."
All the while, Hermione stared with wild eyes mumbling things like, 'going insane,' 'all my fault,' and 'getting expelled.'
But before she knew what was happening, Draco had grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs to his bedroom and insisted on her tucking him in with a bedtime story.
Hermione tried to refuse but the boys's eyes welled up with tears every time she made to leave.
"Don't you love me Momma?" he asked her with a trembling lip.
Hermione's heart went out to the toddler in the teen's body.
"Er, of course I do… Draco?"
Draco answered with a toothy smile and tugged at her hand, pulling her to sit beside his long body.
She sat reluctantly and reached to tuck him in his gray silk sheets, his body snuggling comfortably under his blankets.
"Bedtime story now," Draco said with an authority very similar to the imperious tone he normally used on a day-to-day basis before his head was messed up.
Of course one big difference was the actual words coming from his mouth and the boyish scowl he wore.
"Um… ok. Er, what kind of bedtime story would you like?"
"Well I like the kind with-" and with that, Draco Malfoy fell fast asleep without ever hearing a bedtime story.
Hermione let out a sigh and after that long and exhausting evening, she dragged herself to her own bedroom and fell asleep on her comforter, shoes and clothes still on.
The next day was thankfully a Saturday though Hermione, the ever practical and organized girl, woke up at her usual 6:00 and dragged herself down the stairs, yawning and forgetting for a few precious moments the chaos and bedlam that had occurred just the night before.
She thanked the deities that being Head Girl had its privileges such as having her very own kitchen as she sat down in one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter.
Then it hit her.
If she was Head Girl, there ought to be a Head Boy too. Who just happened to be… Draco Malfoy.
"Oh bother," Hermione groaned when she realized her enemy might just be lurking in his room and might be just as out of it as he was yesterday. After all, she had bestowed a likely concussion on his pointy blonde head.
She pulled herself off of the stool and soon afterwards, the smell of fresh coffee filled their little kitchen alcove.
Drinking from her cup of liquidated caffeine, she pondered the effects of a good night's sleep on possible concussions.
By all means, Draco Malfoy might have only had to sleep off his craziness for a while before returning to his big-headed bigoted self.
Said boy shattered her vain hopes just as soon as she had assured herself of the boy's sanity (or lack of) when he came sliding down the banister from his side of the dorm.
This was not what crushed what was left of her sanity, however.
No, sliding down a steep two story banister was like stepping over a crack on the sidewalk compared to what she was the first to discover.
"¡Soy Harry Potter, el brujo súper!" shouted Draco, chin held high, hands fisted on his hips with his chest jutting out and… a lightning bolt scrawled on his forehead.
"Your… s-speaking Sp-panish?" Hermione managed to get out, eyes wide and taking in his appearance.
Not only had he drawn a scar just like Harry's onto his head with a quill, he had also donned a green and orange spangled 'cape' complete with an electric blue wizard's hat and what looked like a fiery red body suit.
"Si, la Encrespada. Porque… ¡YO SOY HARRY POTTER! ¡¡EL BRUJO SÚPER!!" he shouted again, this time much louder and with one finger pointed dramatically in the air.
"Y-your H-harry Potter? The s-s-sss-uper wizard!? A-an. And I'm the frizzy haired!?" the frightened girl choked out eying his crazed look and wild attire.
"¡¡¡¡SI!!!!! LOS HOMBRES DE LA MAGIA… JUNTEN!!" (YES!!! MAGIC PEOPLE… UNITE!!!!!)
And with that, Draco Malfoy grabbed a breadstick from the counter and zoomed out of their common room… into the halls… where some early risers might be wandering…
Blaise was having quite a good day today. He had received his new broom, the Bluejet 5000, a top of the line racing broom named after lightning that strikes above the atmosphere.
He was on his way out with it now for an early fly when a great greenish-orangish-blueish-redish blob collided into his stomach.
"Omph!"
Blaise ended up on the floor with his broom luckily suspended in the air. A bit winded, he shook his head a bit and looked up to see what exactly had hit him head on.
Draco Malfoy, in a costume that wouldn't even have fit in in a muggle circus, was bobbing up and down whilst waving what looked like a long piece of bread haphazardly and shouting out, "HI BLAISE!! WE'RE OUTSIDE! WE ARE OUTSIDE…YOUR HAIR IS SHINY!!!! SHINY SHINY SHINY!"
He repeated the word whilst dancing with one hand in the air and the other (the one holding the breadstick) bopping the nonplussed boy on the head from all different directions.
He froze from his spot on the ground and stared at his best mate. Well, former best mate if that man had somehow lost his last shred of dignity charging around in that thing.
He looked away just in time to see a frizzy brown head racing through the sparse crowds, stopping every so often and gesturing wildly before starting up again.
Draco was still staring down at the bewildered and thoroughly mentally scarred boy when Blaise saw that Hermione was close enough for him to hear her say, "SORRY!! Terribly sorry! He doesn't mean it! Ehehe!! He's just a bit hyper right now. Saturday mornings you know?!"
No one appeared to 'know' as she put it. Most frowned while picking up dropped books or fixing rumpled robes courtesy of the wild child.
"Really, I'm sorry! Do you know where he went? Oh! He broke your glasses. Sorry. Again. Here, reparo! He flew in that dirrection? Thanks so much!" she said with a crack in her voice.
And off she ran again.
"Granger!" Blaise called out in a strained voice, one eye trained on Draco who was alternating between chewing the end of his makeshift wand and sticking the stick like bread into Blaise's shoulder blade.
Hermione turned towards the voice and relief broke through her features.
She doubled her efforts and was at his side in no time, though clutching a stitch in her ribs.
"Wh-what did h-hhe do to you!"
"Er… he's been repeating that my hair is shiny and poking me with that breadstick for a while now…" Blaise informed her, now inching bit by bit behind the exhausted girl.
"In Spanish, Norwegian, or Hungarian?" asked Hermione who seemed to have finally gotten control of her breathing.
"Um… what? Hungarian? He was speaking English… I think. Hard to tell after a while."
"Oh good, he was harassing others in different languages earlier." She then grabbed Draco on the shoulder and pushed him to the ground.
"OH! HELLO MOTHER! YOU KEPT THE FRIZZY BROWN HAIR I SEE. IT LOOKS VERY BECOMING ON YOU!"
"Draco, mate, that's not your mother. That's Hermione. Don't you remember?"
"SILLY BILLY! I'M NOT DRACO. DUR! PEOPLE KEEP CALLING ME THAT BUT CAN'T THEY SEE THAT I'M HARRY POTTER? THE SUPERWIZARD?"
"Did he just call himself Harry Potter? And… a Superwizard?"
Hermione sighed, "Yes. Shouted it more like but yes. Somehow he thinks he is Harry Potter."
Draco had dropped onto his back by now and was making shapes in the air with his hands.
Ginny choose this moment to pass by the lot on the way to breakfast and was grabbed by the ankle and unceremoniously pulled onto the ground with a huff.
"Oomf. What the hell? Hermione? Zabini? Malfoy!?!?! What in Merlin's name is that boy wearing! He looks like he just ate one of Fred's tampered Canary Creams. Remember when Harry ate one of them last year? Turned out looking like a parrot on crack!"
By this time Hermione had successfully shot a spell at Draco, making him fall asleep strewn out on the grass.
"Er, Ginny… meet the new and concussed Draco Malfoy… hehe." Hermione said.
Both Ginny and Blaise looked up at her (since they were both still on the ground), mouths wide open and eyes the size of dinner plates.
Blaise finally overcame his initial shock and asked the very intelligent question that played in both his and the youngest Weasely's head.
"Huh!?"
"Well, you see, um… you know how last night after my prefect's rounds I went back to the Head's dorm? Yeah, well, I needed some me time away from any school related stuff so I started baking my Mini Limoncello and Lemon Cream Fruit Tarts."
"So you bake when you're stressed? Wow, I wish my mum was like that. Whenever she's 'stressed' she goes out and gets trashed and the next day she goes out on a shopping spree and comes home with another dog. We have nineteen now," Blaise voiced.
Ginny looked at him inquisitively and asked, "What breeds?"
"Well, um, the latest was a Bouvier Des Flandres. His name is Beowulf. Then we have Césanne, a Britanny, Strider, an English Springer Spaniel, Darcy and Lizaboo, our two Cocker Spaniels, Plato, our German Wirehaired Pointer, Dante, our Norwich Terrier , Bambi, she's a sweet Petite Basset Griffon Vendéen, Tessa, a Silky Terrier, Belladonna, a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever.
"Then we have Loki, our most mischievous Rat Terrier, Thor, our Collie, Cleo, our Pharaoh Hound, Watson, a Bloodhound, Athena, an Akita, Baccus, our Dandie Dinmont Terrier, and of course Napoleon and Josephine, our two Boston Terriers."
"Wow. You have more dogs than I have brothers! And that's saying something." Ginny replied in awe. "I've always wanted a dog but my mother always tol-"
"Can we please return to the problem at hand!?" Hermione asked frantically, "he can wake up at any time!"
"Oh please continue, Granger. I'm sure we'd all like to know how my best mate lost his mind."
"Fine. Be sarcastic! Not like I would care! I mean I only accidentally knocked him out with a rolling pin when the prick tried to sneak up on me! And of course it didn't take much time for him to come to! A mere hour and a half! Haha, and, ha, of course this could happen to anyone!! It's completely normal for him to not be in his right mind afterwards and start calling me mother while singing in fuzzy socks! FUZZY!!
"Not to mention calling himself by my best friend's name and going around harassing innocent bystanders with a hunk of bread and shouting in different languages! No, that's COMPLETELY NORMAL! HAHAHAHA!!"
Hermione continued shouting incoherently with tears running down her cheeks and letting out an occasional bout of mad laughter.
Blaise and Ginny clung to each other and began to back away slowly, finally back on their feet. Blaise leaned in to Ginny's ear and whispered in a high voice, "I think this broke her brain. On the count of three, we run for it."
Ginny nodded minutely and Blaise began counting but the "run for it" part never arrived. All three paused in there movements when they heard a loud groan coming from somewhere at their feet.
The two sane people and the one not-so-sane-one (ahem, crazy, ahem) glanced nervously at each other and then slowly at the grass.
The colorful blotch that was Draco groaned again with his head in his arms and rose into a sitting position.
"Ugh, what was that," he said, rubbing his face and looking around him. "Please tell me the three of you did not just kidnap me. I mean, I know I have stunningly good looks (Hermione scoffed) but really, you could have just asked for an autograph!"
"Now as long as someone has a- WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING!?!"
Blaise snickered. It served the blonde right if the boy went into shock. He did after all practically molest the entirety of the Hogwarts student body (not to mention a few very confused professors).
"You," Draco said, deathly quiet, pointing his half-chewed breadstick at the black-haired quivering mass of laughter.
"You," Draco repeated, "YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME! HOW DARE YOU STUFF ME, A MALFOY, INTO THIS, THIS… CROSS DRESSING OUTFIT!? I always knew you were jealous of my good looks, Zabini, but I thought I could trust you.
"People don't understand just how hard it is to be so painfully beautiful. Just look! Look at my hair!! It. Has. Grass in it! Just like some common peasant."
Draco nearly growled in frustration when Hermione and Ginny joined in with Blaise's laughter.
Blaise wiped a tear from the corner of his watering eyes and shaking, said, "Well to cut it short, you were beaten up by a girl, became concussed, then lost your mind and started attacking innocents. Oh, and you had a steamy make out session with our very own Professor Snape."
"I did what!?"
All three normally clothed students were now rolling on the grass clutching their stomachs in mirth.
Draco scowled, "I should have known it was all a lie. Ha, beat up by a mere woman. Absolutely laughable."
"Erm, Malfoy, that part was true. I didn't do it intentionally though! Well, not to you technically. The blows were supposed to be for Umbridge."
"That Ministry hag?" Blaise asked curiously.
"Nevermind," Hermione replied quickly, too tired to do any more explaining. Perhaps one day she would let them go through her memory of that day. Sometime in the far far future when all of this would become a mere memory. Easy to laugh at.
She turned back to the trio. Ginny was unusually silent, looking dazed as well. Draco was… well Draco was ordering Blaise to strip so he could cover up his ridiculous costume.
"Seriously, I think this red would do wonders to your eye color! Let's switch. Now."
"What! No, I insist, keep the, (snort) leotard!"
"Well at least lend me your cloak."
"No I do believe I shall keep my outer garments. Do you realize how freaking cold it is outside. As I think you pointed out earlier, WE'RE OUTSIDE!!"
Draco's cheeks pinked. "I didn't say that," he mumbled.
"No. No you didn't. You shouted it!"
Ginny finally spoke up. "Well, this conversation certainly is lovely but I think we would do well to stop freezing our arses off and get the hell inside"
"Ooh. Firecracker."
"Ugh, males," Hermione said as a rejoinder to Blaise's comment, "She is right though. We should be heading inside. Someone might see Mr. "I Can Dress Myself" over here.
"Hey! I resent that!"
"Not caring!"
But just as the group was walking to the arch that connected the courtyard to the school hallways, a flash of light blinded them all into a colorful pile.
A scream could be heard from all around the school, "CREEVEY!!!!!"
Hehe. I wonder how this is going to turn out! Excited! Again drilling it into you, READ, REVIEW, FAVORITE, ALERT!!! love y'all! ~Nymphicus
get the lemoncello recipe here: .
courtesy of food network. Oh, and I love all the dog's names. I might use one of them in the future! Look up the breeds too. Very interesting. lol review review review. They make me get through stressful weeks at school just to know this is all worth it. Thanks!