Izaya was curling on his bed in his apartment. He very rarely has a breakdown like this, and usually he would drag himself up and shut out all the matters easily. But this time... This time his tears just won't stop flowing.
Izaya wiped his face with a bloodied hand, telling himself to stop, to shut it all out and deal with later. His hand hurts, his head hurts and even his skin hurts from the acid when he wiped his tears.
And for the first time in, who knows how long, Izaya honestly wish someone would be here with him.
Knock. Knock.
" Izaya, I'm coming in."
It's not a question or a request for permission, just a statement.
'I'm coming in.'
The words were slow to register in Izaya's mind, but when it did, Izaya sprang up from the bed, stumbling to the door. He'd forgotten to lock it when he came in. He hoped he would be able to prevent the visitor from seeing his pitiful state, but there's no such luck.
Shinra came in, his tool box with him. To Izaya's surprise, and relief, no one else came with him
"Hi Shinra. What're you doing here? I thought I said I didn't want to meet any of you again." He tried to act normal, like he is actually fine with it, but his voice frayed at the end. At least his tears stopped. Izaya put on an empty smirk, for good measure.
"Good evening, Orihara-kun." Shinra said in his usual carefree tone, smiling like nothing happened. This irked Izaya. How could he still smiling, when he is here breaking down and crying. He should at least have conscience enough to regret or feel guilty!
"Let's have a talk. Mind if I use the bathroom?" Shinra asked. Izaya is trying hard to restrain his anger now. He won't be unreasonable, because he has been childish enough for one day.
"Of course, but tell me, what do you come here for?"
"Hm?"
Shinra has intruded his bathroom even before Izaya could reply him.
"I said," Izaya asked again in a louder voice, "What do you come here for?"
Shinra walks out with a clean towel in hand, his aid kit on the sink in the bathroom.
"To try to fix things, of course." Shinra was smiling when he said it. Izaya felt his eyes burning again, tears threatening to leak out. But this time in anger, not sadness or loneliness. He felt like he was being trampled on, like his feelings mean nothing. Like anyone can break it and patch it up anytime.
It hurts far worse when Shinra, of all people, is the one saying it.
Moments passed with no other sound than the water running and equipments being prepared, and surprisingly, Izaya hadn't considered running away or locking himself in the bedroom upstairs. Instead he just went to the couch and let himself fall onto it limply.
After a few minutes Shinra came and laid a thick white cloth over the black leather. Probably to prevent making any mess with the blood.
And Izaya now expects further silence, like every time Shinra has been working on him.
Only it was he who speak first.
"As a doctor," Shinra said slowly, "I admit I made a mistake, ignoring a wound and left it to fester for so long... I'm sorry."
Izaya's eyes snapped open. Shinra never said that except to Celty. Or as far as Izaya has ever heard. And when he looked at the doctor, he found their eyes meeting for the first time today.
Shinra was serious.
"But, you know, also as a doctor, I must salvage any thing salvageable. Your wound has not fester beyond repair yet,"
He averted his eyes back to the task at hand, but Izaya kept his gaze fixed on the doctor, looking for any sign of pretending.
He couldn't even trust his best friend.
Izaya smiled ironically at that.
"Let's see," Shinra continued on. "To take care of injuries like this, you must clean it first."
He proceed to clean Izaya's bleeding hand, and it stings. Izaya gritted his teeth against the pain, but stayed still and endured the process until he finished.
Then, very, very surprisingly, Shinra took out a washed napkin and wipe away Izaya's tears, gently, keeping eye contact.
Izaya's breath hitched painfully, and new tears begin to come. He shut his eyes and bit it back.
"I'm sorry, Izaya, I truly am. I'm not pouring elixir now, just water. Let it wash what's done away. The past doesn't need to interfere with our present, okay?"
Taking a deep breath, without opening his eyes, he nodded.
And Shinra must have smiled.
"Next, when the wound is cleaned, you should put medication on it to prevent future infection, like this,"
He deftly wiped the wound over with meds, then proceed to entwine their pinky fingers.
"What I did, ignoring you and not ever inviting you to any gathering, was wrong of me. I always know you care, but I hadn't been good enough to respond in kind. It wouldn't happen again, I promise."
His words were flowery, but completely sincere as far as Izaya's sharp eyes could see.
"I... I —"
"Hush, just let me finish this, don't say anything, okay?"
He smiled and went back to work.
"And lastly, you should wrap it tight, like this, so as to allow it to heal."
He wind a bandage around his injured hand very neatly, then set aside his tools, moved from his kneeling position up onto the sofa beside Izaya, then hugged him.
Izaya had once thought he never knew an embrace. And it was true until now. Shinra was so warm. So safe.
Slowly, tentatively, he put his own arms around the man and cry into his shoulders.
Finally, he truly has a friend.
Finally, the wound in his heart has been healed.