'If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says 'Fifteen miles to the' Loooooove Shack, Love Shack yeeeeah'
"Oh my gods kill me now." Kin groaned as the 80s pop drifted into her room.
Sakon and Ukon paused in the middle of their heated chat debate and scowled in disgust. A few doors down Kimimaro sighed in resignation clutching a pillow over his head. Kabuto turned the volume of his headphones up to drown out the noise. Baby Mitsuki continued to sleep peacefully clutching his snake to his chest. Rogu snatched his cigarettes off of his dresser and made his way out of the house without a word. Kakashi lounged back on the living room sofa with an irritating grin on his covered face that made Nure and Obito sneer.
*Confessional*
"If you ever hear love shack by the B52s coming from the house, then it means my parents are fucking." Kakashi snickered.
Nure shoved him in the shoulder before facing the camera.
"I don't know if Oro picked it to mess with us or if dad picked it just because he generally feels like it gets him in the mood. It sucks for us either way." Nure said woefully. "Why couldn't they do it to something more sexy? I bet Madara Uchiha screws to something like earned it. That man is perfect.
"We do not have sex to love shack. We just play that to screw with the kids. I actually play Sade when I'm trying to get Oro in the mood. Nothing like smooth operator to get the blood flowing South." Sakumo smirked.
Orochimaru sat at his vanity with a wicked grin on his lips. He ran a brush through his thick ebony hair as he watched his husband dance to the cheesy pop song. He pulled his hair over one shoulder and started to braid it. He felt a tug on his violet long sleeve shirt and turned to meet the excited coal eyes of Sakumo.
"Yes dear."
"Think we tortured the kids enough?" Sakumo asked tugging his waif like husband up into his arms.
"Come now, surely we roll in the sheets longer than an hour." Orochimaru cooed in Sakumo's ear.
Sakumo shuddered dropping his gaze down to his husbands yoga pants covered thighs. He dragged his hands from Orochimaru's back down to his hips.
"You're killing me baby." Sakumo groaned as he nuzzled into his husband's neck.
Orochimaru chuckled running his fingers through Sakumo's messy locks. He smirked before running his tongue along the shell of the taller's ear. Sakumo moaned in response.
"A little death would do you some good." Orochimaru breathed in his ear before making his way out of the master bedroom.
Sakumo could only watch the pale beauty as he left with a broken whine.
Rogu leaned against the wooden railing of the back patio and gave a relieved sigh when Love Shack was finally turned off. He had spent the past hour outside watching the dogs run around. He put his cigarette out in the nearby ashtray before making his way back inside where he walked directly into his parent. Orochimaru only smiled as he continued toward his study.
"I'm starting dinner around 5 can you make sure your siblings know? Kushina and Mikoto said they would arrive at 6." He said to Rogu.
"Sure." Rogu answered watching his parent leave with furrowed brows.
*Confessional*
"Oh god Oro's wearing yoga pants. Dad is going to end up killing his friends for staring. I don't blame him, but Oro is scary in his own right. He can defend himself just fine." Rogu grimaced. "To be fair to dad, Oro does fill those pants out way better than one would think with his age. He, Kinako Mitarishi, and Izuna Uchiha all dance and do yoga together 3 times a week. I remember once when dad walked in on Oro practicing his "Havana" routine and dad blanked out with a nose bleed. We wanted to take dad to the hospital, but Oro just told us to leave dad to be an idiot.
Sakumo waited for awhile after his teasing partner left to calm himself down. Orochimaru loved to rile him up and leave him wanting. As he stepped out of the master suite he took note of the near silence of the usually bustling house. He made his way upstairs and happened to pass Kabuto leaving the bathroom.
"Where is everyone? It's like a ghost town in here."
Kabuto gave his father a bored stare.
"They all tried to drown out you and Oro so they are no doubt in their rooms with headphones on to stay sane."
"Even Rogu ,Nure ,and kashi?"
"Rogu is smoking, Nure went to pick up her boy toy and fake kid from somewhere, and Kakashi is doing who knows what in his lair."
*Confessional*
"You would think with how full this house is all the time that no one had school or a job to get to. I know Rogu's band is here recording their new album, and Nure always waits to leave the day after Sunday brunch since she lives in Kiri, but what the fuck is Kakashi doing here." Kabuto complained crossing his arms across his chest defiantly.
"Kabuto was always an opportunist and never did anything unless he felt he could gain from it. I don't really know where the teen got that mind set. Orochimaru may be cynical and often cold when he is working, but he never let that persona into our home. Our home is a safe space that we made so that our family would never have to hide. Kabuto is kind of a prick 24/7 apparently. I love my kids, but I will always call them out on their bullshit." Sakumo said lazily as he leaned back in his chair.
Sakumo shooed the teen away and made his way to his husbands study. He leaned against the door jam and watched the pale man curled up on his suede love seat with a medical journal in hand. He cleared his throat to gain the other's attention. Orochimaru looked up with a small smirk on his lips. Sakumo eased his way into the room and settled on the arm of the sofa. Orochimaru smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.
"What's for dinner tonight doll face?"
"Well I decided to make lasagna since it's just a casual dinner. Maybe a nice salad and garlic bread to go with it."
"That arugula citrus salad you made last week was really good you should make that."
Orochimaru gave Sakumo a soft smile as he stood from his seat.
"You'll have to help me out in the kitchen then." He grinned. "You can keep your mutts in line so they will stop begging for table scraps."
Sakumo nodded and happily followed him to the kitchen.
At 6:15 the chiming of the front doorbell rang through the house. Orochimaru put his mittens down after checking the lasagna and made his way to the door. After looking through the peephole he smiled before opening the Mosaic stained glass door.
"Mikoto it's so good to see you. I see you've brought more than just your husband and children with you."
Makoto blushed at his words before hurrying with an apology.
" I'm sorry, but once Izuna caught word that we were coming over he decided to join and dragged Shisui with him." She apologized.
"No matter there's plenty of food for everyone."
Mikoto nodded as she entered the home with her family. Orochimaru led them to the family room and got them settled before he turned back toward the kitchen. He paused at the threshold and glanced over his shoulder.
"Oh and Kushina and Minato will be coming as well with Naruto."
"That's wonderful." She beamed.
Fugaku sank into the sofa with a manly pout and Sasuke visibly perked up at Naruto's name. Orochimaru faced the stairs and shouted.
"Snakelets we have guests!"
He then proceeded into the kitchen to finish with the food. A few seconds later the snickers of the twins alerted the Uchiha's to the teenage Hatakes defending the staircase. Sakon poked at Kimimaro who swats him in retaliation. Ukon smiled at their antics but frowned when his eyes landed on Sasuke. The young Uchiha smirked. Kabuto shouldered past the rest of the silver haired brood to settle in a lazy boy in the far corner avoiding everyone in the room. Shisui smirked as his eyes stayed glued on their parents movements in the kitchen.
"Hey double trouble." He called attracting the twins attention. "What do you think your father would do to me if I hit on your dad?"
His question caused his family to groan in exasperation. This was not a new endeavor for the older teen. In fact, this train of thought was so constant that most of his clan nearly zoned him out when he started to speak on anything involving Orochimaru Hatake. The twins sneered in disgust before the expression morphed into a form of pity. He wasn't the first or the last to fall for their parents oblivious charms. But deep down they knew their parent was in no way oblivious to how he made people feel about him.
*Confessional*
"Father is possessive of Oro." Ukon mumbled.
"When we went on vacation to Kumo 3 months ago and our guide was complementing Oro's hair. Father punched him in the throat." Sakon explained.
"It was fucking beautiful." Ukon smirked.
Sakumo and Orochimaru exited from the kitchen with the later heading upstairs to wake Mitsuki. Sakumo grinned and announced dinner was ready and they were just waiting for the Namikaze household. As if summoned the bright rays of sunshine known as Naruto and Minato sprang into the room with grins that could blind.
"We're here and demand sustenance!"
Kushina smiled behind the blondes just as eager. Sakumo rolled his eyes before leading them to the dining room.
Sakumo pulled the lasagna from the oven causing the smell to drift through the house. The elder Hatake children flooded in taking their seats. Nure grinning as she sat Haku beside her parent's chair. Orochimaru entered and settled Mitsuki's cheerful form into the highchair between his and Sakumo's seat.
The group all settled in and started to pash dishes and drinks around the table. Sakumo poured a large glass of moscato for his husband earning a kiss for his deeds. As everyone tucked in with light conversation and compliments on the food The eldest of the Uchiha brood prepared himself. Shisui glaced at Itachi and nodded. The younger's expression immediately shifted to fear as he shook his head in discouragement. Shisui grinned an mouthed yes before turning to face Orochimaru near the head of the table. The Hatake kids as well as the Uzumaki-Namikaze's watched on in morbid fascination after witnessing the odd looks..
"So Oro…" Shisui started in a suave tone catching both his and Sakumo's attention.
Orochimaru raised a finely arched brow in amusement.
This ought to be good.
"I was wondering if you might consider taking me on as a student. I've always been a hard worker and I'm not a stranger to rough activity." Shisui smirked. "I'd even be willing to try pole dancing if that's more your style."
*Confessional*
"Well shit." Kakashi says slightly wide eyed.
"Shisui has a God damned death wish." Obito adds with his face in his hands.
"That little shit better be glad I was trying to feed Suki-chan." Sakumo growls.
"Izuna's spawn thinks he's hot shit. Let me tell you something; There never has nor will there ever be a man hotter than Sakumo Hatake." Orochimaru grins. "Well…... except for maybe Madara-kun. That man is just as perfect as Sakumo when it comes to the whole smart and possessive thing." Orochimaru grinned.
"That arrogant little brat thinks he is untouchable only because Itachi is here." Kabuto sniffed turning his nose up.
"I think I love this man." Rogu says in a shocked tone. "I wish I had balls big enough to hit on a married person in front of not only their spouse, but also their kids."
"Uchiha's are fucking insane." Zabuza says with a huff.
Haku frowns at his surrogate brother before tapping his arm.
"Language."
"Whatever."
"That's not very appropriate conversation for a family dinner." Haku scolds the 18 year old.
Several snickers and blatant laughter flooded the table at the young teens words.
Izuna smacked the back of his sons head and glared.
"Shut up no one wants to see or hear you pant over my friend like a bitch in heat." He growled.
"But dad."
"No buts, I am telling your mother when she picks you up tomorrow. Maybe a little of her tough love will straighten you out."
Shusui's mouth dropped in shock before he started to beg his father not to tell. Orochimaru placed another helping of Lasagna onto Haku's plate.
"You're my favorite child."
*Confessional*
"I am like 98% sure that Oro has adopted Haku." Nure laughs.
"Come on dad, please don't tell mom." Shisui begged. "I mean most of the Hatakes love Uncle Madara anyway."
His statement set off a chain reaction of blushes, grunts and sneers. Sakumo groaned face planting onto the cherry wood table.
*Confessional*
"I guess Shisui won the Sunday brunch bet." Nure frowned picking at her nails.
"We all know itachi is beyond hot when he is angry, That old fart doesn't have anything on him." Sakon grinned.
"I prefer Madara Uchiha over the rest of his family." Ukon mumbled with a blush.
Sakon looks shocked and betrayed at his twins words.
"Dude, what the hell?"
*Confessional*
Kimimaro shifts nervously in his seat with a dark blush.
"Could you blame me though?"
"I had no idea so many of the Hatake's wanted a piece of my old man. Obito frowns. "Imagine if they found out how much my clan members love Rogu because of his band."
"What is with this family's obsession with my uncle?" Sasuke questioned into the camera in confusion. "I mean I get that he's good looking, but that's true of all the Uchiha men."
"The downside of that hotness is your family's unhinged personalities." Naruto snickered.
Sasuke glared at the blonde frostily.
"Screw you dobe."
"Is that an invitation." Naruto grinned tilting Sasuke's chin down to look at him.
Sasuke blushed a bit before turning his head away. Naruto just laughed.
"Shut up."
Orochimaru smirked into his wine as he watched his youngest slap his husband on the back of the head giggling. He glanced at the shell-shocked Fugaku, laughing Kushina, amused Minato, and the slightly offended Izuna. Oh how he loved when the whole family was together.