Chapter Two: Painstaking Planning
"
Cherry Hill Temple, March 30th, 4:39 PM
"I didn't even know cats could faint,"
Slowly, Luna cracked open a single eye, coming to stare directly at Serena's face. Serena was kneeling down in front of her, fanning her with a small throw pillow.
"Ugh...okay, I'm awake," Luna muttered, forcing herself into a standing position. "And beginning to realize that that wasn't all just a bizarre dream." She looked at the suitcase of money. "Please, please, please, please, pleeeeaasssseeee tell me this is a practical joke, and that's actually just a pile of novelty kitty litter," Luna said. Lita had pushed Mina's unconscious body off the suitcase of cash, exposing the true depth of the sailor's newfound wealth to Luna.
"Nope," Serena said. She was now kneeling down next to Mina, trying to shake her back into the world of the living. "That's the genuine article. Briefcase full of dough."
"Oh, dear," Luna moaned, looking down at the ground. "Just...just be honest with me...I promise I won't get mad, just tell me the truth. Which is it? Drugs or prostitution?"
"What?!" Serena exclaimed, dropping Mina back to the floor. "Neither!"
"Then who did you kill?" Luna said, resignation in her voice.
"I thought you knew me better than that!" Serena huffed. "It just so happens, Luna, that this money was a gift!"
"Just...tell me which bank you stole it from, Serena. Please."
"What is it with people accusing me of stealing things today!" Serena shrieked, jumping to her feet. "For your information, I saved a guy's life last night, and he rewarded me with this!"
"And I'm supposed to believe that tale?" Luna said, looking down mournfully at the money. "Please, Serena, you're in enough trouble without lying."
"Actually, Luna, I can vouch for her story as one hundred percent accurate," Amy said. She was laying prone on the bed, face down, Raye seated on top of her back, keeping her pinned. Lita was seated on the back of Amy's legs.
"...oh." Luna looked up at Serena, who looked decidedly miffed. "...ah...well, I suppose that..." she looked down at the ground, guilt clouding her features.
Serena chuckled. "Yeah, I'll bet you feel like a dick now."
"S-so you're not mad?" Luna asked hopefully.
"I can't get mad about anything today, Luna. I have a million dollars!" With that, Serena unceremoniously bellyflopped onto the cash stack, laughing maniacally to herself as she rolled around on top of the bills.
"Wait a minute..." Luna looked up at the three girls on Raye's bed. "Why are you two laying down on top of Amy?!" Luna jumped up onto the bed, leaning in right next to Amy's head. "Are you under duress to agree with Serena's story?" she whispered.
"N-no-" Amy replied.
"That's exactly what you would say if you were under duress," Luna rasped, glancing up at Raye. "So was it drugs, Amy?"
"No, it-" Amy started, but Luna quickly cut her off.
"That's exactly what you would say if it was drugs."
"Luna, I-"
Luna leaned in closer to Amy. "If it was drugs, blink twice," she asked.
"Oh no, Luna, she's telling the truth," Raye chimed in. "And nothing but."
"Then why are you two sitting on our lead strategist?!" Luna asked.
Lita put her right hand down on Amy's ankle. "Well, it's just...ever since we got the money, Amy's just been acting a little crazy, saying some really...wild things. And we were worried she might go and do something stupid if we didn't keep her under wraps."
"Yeah, just the craaaziest stuff. Like, maybe, donating all the money to a charity, or dumping it in the river, or burning it, just...insane asylum type ideas. Aaand we just wouldn't want anything like that to happen." Raye leaned down close to Amy's face. "Would we, Amy?"
"Make them get off me," Amy said, looking over at Luna hopefully.
"I'm a cat," Luna replied.
"Amy can get up any time she wants," Raye said, lacing her words with menace nonetheless, "just as soon as she promises that she won't be doing anything...unwise with our money."
"There are a lot of angles to be considered!" Amy insisted. "There's no such thing as money with no strings attached! There is real danger with us trying to use that money! Heck, we're in danger just by having it! All things considered, I really think the best way to handle this would be to-"
Lita picked her feet up off the floor, thereby placing her full body weight onto the back's of Amy's thighs. "I'm sorry, Amy, I must have something stuck in my ear, that really doesn't sound like any kind of promise to me."
"Ahh!" Amy grunted, squirming back and forth underneath her two friends. "Getoff! Getoff!"
"Hmm, must be something in my ears too, Lita," Raye said. "Because I could just swear I don't hear a promise right now."
"Okayokay!" Amy shrieked. "I promise! I promise!"
Lita put her feet back on the ground, but didn't get up. "Promise what?"
Amy sighed. "I completely promise to not...do anything with the million dollars without talking to you guys first about my intentions."
"Was that so hard?" Raye asked, standing up. Lita followed suit, allowing Amy to roll off the bed.
"Oww," Amy moaned, rubbing her back. "With friends like these, who needs the negaverse?"
"Well, sorry, you were talking crazy," Raye insisted. "I mean, setting a million dollars on fire?"
"Okay, maybe that was slightly rash," Amy admitted, sitting up on the floor. "But-"
"Whooooopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!"
Everyone looked over at Serena. She was now laying on her back, on top of the money, doing the backstroke in the air.
"Serena!" Luna cried. "Knock off that...whatever that ridiculous noise is! Amy is trying to tell us something important! Pay attention!"
"Ooooooohhhhhh..." Mina suddenly moaned, trying to push herself up from off the ground. "Guys...I just had the weirdest hallucination. Some guy gave us, like, a million dollars."
"Uhhhh..." Serena looked down at the money pile underneath her. Quickly, she scooped a few wayward money bundles into the suitcase, closed it, and sat down on top of it. "Well, that's what happens when you sniff glue, Mina."
"Serena!" Luna snapped.
"Okay, fine," Serena said. "Mina, that...actually happened." She scooted herself off the suitcase, turned it towards Mina, and opened it.
"Oh my GOD!" Mina shrieked, fighting the urge to faint for a second time. "No way!" A giant grin broke out on her face.
"I know, right?" Lita said, walking over to the suitcase. "A rainbow should come out every time you open it." She bent down and picked up eight of the bundles in her hands. "I could redo my kitchen with this-"
"No!" Amy cried, standing up to her full height and puffing out her chest slightly. "Listen to me! No, you can't!"
"Yeah, you're right," Lita admitted. "I wanna add the breakfast nook, gonna run me at least five figures-"
"Nobody is redoing or adding anything!" Amy said, swinging her hands around in front of her, a rare scowl on her features. "There are some real complications here! We could get in a lot of trouble if we don't think about this!"
"Oh, Amy," Serena said, bending down and placing her palms down flat on top of the cash. "Only you could make a million dollars sound like such a curse."
"Think about it, Serena," Amy said. "We are five fourteen-year-old girls, and five fourteen-year-old girls are not supposed to have a million dollars in cash in a suitcase!"
"Uh, I think you're off by about...four fourteen-year-old girls there, Amy," Serena pointed out.
"Wh-"
"This is my money," Serena said, standing up and pointing down at it. "I saved the guy, and he pretty much gave the money to me. You four were just...there."
"Serena!" Luna said. "Shame on you!"
"However, being that I'm incredibly nice, charitable, and generous, I have a proposal," Serena said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I take half, and you four split the other half."
"Are you really that selfish?!" Raye snarled, leaning in towards Serena and making a fist with her right hand.
"Apparently," Serena said, shrugging.
"No!" Amy cried again, darting over to Lita, grabbing all the money out of her hands, throwing it back into the suitcase, knocking Serena's hands off the money, and closing it. "No, no, no, no, no! Nobody is taking any money!"
"Wow," Serena said, raising an eyebrow at Amy. "Speaking of selfish-"
"Look. I promised I wouldn't get rid of the money, and I'm going to keep my promise." Amy tried to pick the suitcase up off the floor, but found it to be too much for her thin arms to heft. "But, in light of the delicate nature of this entire thing, I suggest...insist...that I be placed in charge of managing the money."
"Or, better yet, maybe you could try to go save your own billionaire?" Serena said, watching Amy try to lift up the suitcase.
Amy dropped the suitcase handle. "Serena, listen. We're fourteen years old, which means we can't open bank accounts and we can't open credit cards. You try to buy things with bundles of twenty dollar bills, and people start asking questions very quickly. Also, most purchases leave a paper trail, and the moment the IRS sees that we're spending a lot of money that we shouldn't have, they're going to find out where that money comes from." She grabbed Serena by the shoulders, eyes wide. "So, please, let me be in charge of handling this! It's the only chance we have to do this safely! Please!"
"I second Amy's suggestion!" Luna said enthusiastically.
"Huh," Raye said quietly, looking down at the suitcase. "Guess I never really...thought about all the legalities of spending money." She raised her hand in the air. "I third Amy's suggestion."
"Yeah, I...gotta say, if anyone can come up with a way for us to use the money, it's her," Lita said. "Okay, maybe this is a little more complicated than I thought. Fourth."
"Yeah, well, too bad for you guys that my vote counts for, like, a billion votes, what with it being my money, and me being the leader!" Serena said, jabbing a thumb at herself.
"Serena..." Lita said in a singsong voice.
"What?" Serena said. "Don't you know what leader means?"
Lita grabbed Serena's right arm and lifted it up in the air, making a fist with her off-hand. "Don't you know what black belt means?"
Serena gave a little groan. "Okay, fine. Amy, you can be in charge of the money."
"Yeah, I'm gonna go with that too," Mina added.
"Well I guess that's that," Raye said, coming over to pat Amy on the shoulder. "You're calling the shots."
"Thank you," Amy said.
"Sorry I sat on you," Raye said guiltily.
"It was pretty uncalled for," Amy said icily, walking towards Raye's bed.
"If it makes you feel any better, my butt's kinda sore now," Raye offered.
"It doesn't," Amy said. "Lita, if you would be so kind, on the bed."
Lita stepped forward and easily scooped up the briefcase in one hand, hoisting it up and setting it down on the middle of the blanket. Amy looked at it, then turned to the other four scouts.
"First of all, and this is important. This money does not belong to you-" she pointed at Serena, "-or you-" she turned her finger to Raye, "or you-" her focus went over to Lita, "or you-" she gestured at Mina, "or me." She jabbed her thumb at her chest. "It belongs to us. Which is why that this money is not to be spent on the individual, any of us, but only on the group. This money is the sailor scout's money, to be used to further our campaign against the negaverse, and combat evil. Furthermore, due to the delicate nature of us trying to use this money, we will be using it only in carefully planned ways, and only when needed."
Lita raised her hand.
"Yes?" Amy prompted.
"Yeah, that sounds fantastic and all, and I endorse it, but...where does that put me at with my kitchen?"
Amy sighed, then buried her face in her hands. "Lita, I just said only when needed-"
"Well, I need to redo the kitchen," Lita insisted. "Seriously, the previous tennants used saltillo tile! Do you have any idea how porous that stuff is?"
Amy gave a tiny growl that wasn't at all like her. "Okay, you know what?"
"It's...terrible for a kitchen-"
"I think we're all feeling just a little...avaricious right now...some more than others...probably something to do with seeing a million dollars in a suitcase. So I say we all get to our respective homes for the rest of the evening, settle our minds, and come back tomorrow after school, focused on buzzwords like generosity, rationality, and frugality." Amy sat down on the edge of the bed. "Meeting ajourned."
"Okay, fair enough." Serena walked over next to Amy. "I'll get my school bag, and you can load me up."
"Load you up?" Amy repeated.
"Yeah, my cut," Serena said.
Amy sighed again, putting her right hand up to cover her eyes. "Serena. Please. I am exhausted and I have a lot of planning to do tonight. We just agreed that I was in charge of managing the money-"
"Yeah, you can be in charge of managing the process of scooping Jacksons into my bag," Serena said.
"Serena-" Amy started.
"Look, I heard everything you said, and you're completely right. Completely! I get it, I swear. But, and I think I'm speaking for everyone here when I say this, we work hard. All of us! We sneak out late at night, we lose sleep, our grades suffer, and we have less relaxation time. So, yes, I agree that you're the most qualified to handle the money, but I think it's fair that a portion of the reward go into our pockets for...personal expenses. You know, a little...treat for all the hard work we've done!" She looked over at the other three scouts, thinking she might have seen a glimmer of agreement in their eyes.
"Yes, Serena, we work hard," Amy said, hand still covering her eyes. "That's not the point. The point is, if you, or any of us, doesn't treat the situation very carefully, we're all going to get in an unthinkable amount of trouble."
"Yeah, Amy, I get it. I can't go buy a house, or a car, or a diamond necklace. Yeah, no problem, that's fine. But, frankly, I think there are some...things...that I deserve to be able to have, and should be able to get with our money. I mean, it's not like you need the entire million to do whatever you're thinking about, right?" Serena shrugged.
Amy dropped her hand, crossing her arms over her chest, frowning. "And what, exactly, are you proposing you get...'loaded up' with?"
"Well...I mean, I don't have the exact values on the top of my head, but...I mean, I did save the guy, so I think fair would...be...you know, fifty thou?"
Amy smacked herself in the forehead with her right hand, covering her eyes again in exasperation.
"What?" Serena said. "How much money does your plan need?"
"What are you going to buy with fifty thousand dollars?" Amy said, voice drained.
"I'm not going to spend it all at once!" Serena huffed. "I'm not even going to spend all of it! You know, keep some hidden away at home for a rainy day. And to rub on my face. Maybe roll around in-"
"Serena-"
"Look, there are some things that I want, okay!" Serena said. "I'm sure there are things that you all want too, and we deserve them!"
Amy heaved a great sigh, then looked up at Serena. "Let's do a little role play, Serena. Okay?"
"Uh...sure?" Serena shrugged.
"You just be yourself, and I'll play the part of your mother." Amy cleared her throat. "It's a brisk thursday afternoon, and I've just returned from shopping at the fresh produce store downtown. Upon arriving home, I decide to check in on my daughter, ask if she had a good day at school, make sure she's doing her homework, ask her if fish sounds good for dinner, that sort of thing. So I go down the hall, forgetting to knock, and enter my daughter's bedroom. And what should greet me but a sixty-five inch ultra high-definition television with 7.1 surround sound, plugged into a brand-new blu-ray player!"
"Hm, I like this role play-" Serena started, but Amy cut her off.
"Estimated value, four thousand dollars!" Amy said.
"Really?" Serena put her hand up to her chin. "Only four grand? May as well make it a seventy-eight inch-"
"SO, my jaw drops open in shock. I stare at the television for a few moments. And then, I gather my thoughts, and I ask the million dollar question." Amy put her hands on her hips and glared at Serena. "Where, my dear daughter, did you get the money for this?!"
"Oh," Serena said, looking up towards the ceiling. "Well...uh...I-"
"Time's up!" Amy said. "Sorry, Serena, you lose. But we have some lovely parting gifts for you, such as getting grounded for the next five decades, house cleaning duties for the rest of your life, and let's not forget being kept on a strict diet of brussel sprouts and oatmeal until you confess to where you got the money from!"
"Okay, okay. I get it," Serena said. "No televisions, fine, but-"
"That's just one of a billion different scenarios that could ruin us!" Amy said. "You don't have any source of income, meaning your parents know exactly how much money you have. A single inexplicable purchase, and everything unravels. It could be a video game, a movie, a pedicure, heck, you could order a pizza at the wrong time! So, until I come up with a comprehensive plan, nobody is spending a dime!"
"Pretty sure there aren't any dimes in that suitcase," Serena said.
"Oh, for the love of God, Serena, just go home!" Raye walked over to her bed.
"Yes, please," Amy agreed. "So, for now, the money stays here-"
"Wait, why?" Serena asked, glaring at Raye.
Amy sighed. "A, because I don't want anyone to have to carry a million dollars in cash around town. B, because Lita's the only one who can lift it."
"And C, my grandfather doesn't wear his glasses ever, so even if he did see it he'd just think it was my homework," Raye added.
"Right," Amy agreed. "Raye, I'll just assume that nothing will happen to the money while it's in your custody?"
"On my honor," Raye said, raising her right hand in the air.
Serena scoffed. "Yeah, that and a dollar will get you four quarters."
Raye glowered at Serena.
"Okay, fine, I'm going home!" Serena spun around.
"
Serena's Bedroom, March 30th, 10:55 PM
"It's a good thing you weren't there today, Artemis!" Luna crowed, the pair of cats seated up on the desk as Serena paced around her bedroom. "I had the grave misfortune of witnessing our supposed leader's conduct this afternoon!"
"Luna, I said I was sorry!" Serena cried. "And I am!"
"The things she said, Artemis! I had never seen such a thoughtless and selfish display in all my nine lives! You'd never be able to respect her as Sailor Moon again! I myself may have some problems with that moving forward."
"Luna, come on, you've known me for awhile! You know that's not me!" Serena frowned to herself. "It's just not every day someone gives you a million dollars in cash! So, yes, I did some things and said some things I shouldn't have, and I admit that. But most humans would have done the same thing after getting a giant pile of money thrown at them!"
"I don't mean to pile on, Serena," Artemis started. "But you're not most humans. You are Sailor Moon, champion of justice and love. So we expect more from you."
"Yeah, well, I'm not just Sailor Moon. I'm also a human being. And there's this thing called human nature, and part of that is acting a little...greedy under certain circumstances. You wouldn't understand, Artemis."
"Why not?" Artemis asked.
"Uh, I just called it human nature?" Serena said, raising an eyebrow at the stark white cat.
"...and?" Artemis prodded.
"And, you're a cat!" Serena said.
Artemis stared at Serena for a second, then looked over at Luna. "Did she just race card me?"
Luna gave a little exasperated sigh. "Just...go to bed, Serena. Please?"
"Fine, fine," she relented, pulling her shirt up over her head.
"And if I were you, and I was going to apologize for my conduct today, I'd say there were some other...humans who might deserve one more-"
"I get it!" Serena said.
"
School Lunchroom, March 31st, 12:15 PM
"Why if it isn't my favorite lead strategist!" Serena said loudly, setting her blue tray of food down on the lunch table next to Amy's. Amy was sitting there, eyes red and head resting on her right palm.
"Ugh. What do you want, Serena?" Amy said, her voice lower than usual.
"To apologize for my behavior yesterday," Serena said earnestly.
"Oh," Amy said, glancing up at her friend. "Well-"
"And to say that I completely endorse you managing the...reward," Serena added, glancing around at the other students. "Seriously, nobody's better equipped to handle it than you. You're gonna do great."
"Well, thank you, Serena," Amy said, giving a small smile.
"You look really tired," Serena said sympathetically. "How'd brainstorming go?"
"Oh, I have a...few good ideas, I think," she said. "I think we might be able to pull this off."
"
Cherry Hill Temple, March 31st, 3:58 PM
"But only if we all co-operate and stick to the plan," Amy said, holding a thirteen-inch tablet up in her petite hands.
"Which we will," Serena said, standing up from her seat on the bed and coming over next to Amy. "Because we all support you and believe in you one hundred percent, behavior yesterday nonwithstanding."
Raye looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I guess I got carried away too. I'm sorry, Amy."
"Yeah, I'll second that," Lita said begrudgingly. "I just got swept up in the...craziness. I apologize."
"I'm gonna have to apologize too," Mina said quietly, eyes downcast.
"You didn't do anything," Amy said comfortingly, walking over to Mina and putting her hand on her shoulder. "You were unconscious most of the time."
"Yeeeahhh..." Mina said uneasily. She reached down her shirt and pulled out a thousand dollar bundle, handing it to Amy. "I...may have snuck this out in my bra last night."
Amy snatched it out of Mina's hand, a disapproving cluck of her tongue as she walked back over towards the suitcase on the bed.
"I felt really bad right after I did it!" Mina said.
"Right," Amy said, dropping the bundle on top of the case. "Now then. We, as a group, have proved perfectly capable of at least keeping up with the negaverse without funds. So, we have to carefully consider practicality and rationality when using this money." She did a couple finger swipes on her tablet. "I think the most obvious consideration would be injury expenses. Our battles are undeniably getting fiercer, and it's only a matter of time before someone gets seriously hurt. I also think that it would be sensible to set up a sort of...life insurance policy, as a consideration to our families."
"Starting off pretty morbid there," Lita said.
"Yes, but I think it's a real concern, even if nobody wants to talk about it," Amy replied. "I'd like to at least set up some sort of fund there. I'm currently putting together some paperwork that should help that process. I do think that we could use an influx of new equipment, maybe improve some of the stuff we already use. I'd like to get a new computer system set up, improve the system of knowledge distribution, and redo our entire intel and recon strategies. And I believe I know where to start with regards to all that. And finally, money growth. We will almost definitely never have another opportunity like this again, so the longer we can make this money last, the better. I've put together several hypothetical plans that I believe can produce good growth with minimal risk."
"Sounds good to me," Raye said, peeking over Amy's shoulder at the tablet screen.
"Of course, there's one snag in all of this," Amy said. "As fourteen-year-olds, we won't be able to do any of this by ourselves."
Serena had sat down on the desk chair next to the bed, leaning back and putting her feet up on the desk. "Okay, so what do we do about that?"
"I think we need to bring another person in on this," Amy explained. "Not just any person, mind you. The right person. Not only do they have to be old enough to legally handle this, but they have to be someone we can at least partially trust to not double-cross us. Someone who has handled fairly large amounts of money in the past, so it won't look too suspicious when they buy stuff for us. Preferably, someone with some money sense, who could help with the growth side of things. Someone who could be bought off, at least partially. And of course, someone who won't ask too many questions."
"Right. So, no parents," Lita mused. "Not any good parents, at least."
"I'd say leave family members out of this entirely," Amy agreed.
"Any candidates?" Serena asked, looking at Amy.
"Yes, one...but you may not like it," Amy said uneasily.
"Oh, don't tell me-" Serena groaned, putting her hand up to her forehead.
"Tell you I shall," Amy said, turning the tablet out towards the group, showing them all a headshot of a familiar young man. "Darien Shields. At this time, nobody fits the profile better."
"Ugh. Darien," Serena muttered. "Douchebag Asshole Rat...In...Eastern..."
"Douchebaggery nonwithstanding-" Mina chimed in.
"...uh, Nerdtown," Serena finished.
"He might be our best bet," Mina admitted.
"You guys wanna bring Darien in on this?" Serena grunted, taking her feet off the desk and propelling herself into a sitting position. "Seriously?"
"The alternative may be nobody can touch the money until we turn eighteen," Amy said.
"Look on the bright side, Serena," Raye said, a small smile spreading across her face.
"And what might that be, Raye?" Serena asked, scowling.
"Just imagine the look on Darien's face when he finds out that you have a million dollars in a suitcase," Raye said.
"Ooooh," Serena mused, hand on her chin. "Yeah, he'll hate that!"
"So, before we dig into serious details about my plans, we should make sure that we have a reliable contact on board," Amy said. "So, we need to bring Darien in on this, and we need to do it in a very specific way."
"You know, this might actually be fun," Serena mused, an evil little smirk on her face. "Can I tell him?"
"Actually, yes," Amy said, swiping the tablet screen and handing it to Serena. "Here's the playbook for how we get him to bite. I think if we reel him in like this, he'll go for it."
Serena read the small text on the tablet, face brightning with each line. "This sounds like fun, actually!"
"Wait, why her?" Raye asked. "They don't even like each other."
"Which makes her perfect for...intriguing him," Amy said, a naughty little smile on her face. "So, Serena, do you think you can do that?"
"Oh, yes," Serena said, handing Amy the tablet back. "Yes, I...I think I can do exactly that."
"
Arcade, March 31st, 5:11 PM
Serena stepped through the automatic doors, looking around at the various customers manning the various game machines. She looked over at the counter where Andrew was working, and saw Darien sitting up on the right side, back turned to her, milkshake on the counter in front of him.
"Ah ha!" she said quietly. She pulled her cell phone out from her hip pocket and quickly placed a call in to Amy. "This is gonna be so great!"
"Yes, Serena?" Amy's voice came in through the tiny speaker.
"The eagle is in the nest," she said quietly.
"...I don't know what that means, Serena," Amy replied.
"I found Darien in the arcade," she replied.
"Well, then why don't you just say that?" Amy asked.
"Because...because you're no fun," Serena replied. "I'll let you know how it goes."
She marched over to the counter, taking a seat on the far left, turning her back to Darien and hunching over slightly. He hadn't seen her yet, she didn't think.
"Oh, hey there, didn't see you come in!"
She glanced up to find Andrew standing there, holding an empty milkshake glass in one hand and wiping it with a dishtowel in the other.
"What can I do you for, Serena?" he asked.
"Just a favor today, Andrew," she replied, still turned away from where Darien was sitting.
"Shoot," Andrew said, setting the glass down on the counter.
"Alright, listen carefully," she said, leaning in slightly. "Is there anybody in the supply closet right now?"
"Uhhh...no," Andrew replied uneasily, eyes glancing over towards the hallway behind him that lead down to the staff section of the building. "Why-"
"Okay then," she said. "After we're done talking, I'm going to get up and go to the supply closet. After I leave, I need you to go to Darien and tell him to meet me there, right now, alone."
"Ummm...well, first of all, the supply closet is locked-"
"Which is why you're going to give me the key to it," Serena said, holding her little palm out towards him.
"Second, I'm not supposed to let customers in there-"
"Yes, but you're going to make an exception here, because you know me, and you trust me when I say that this is very important," Serena interrupted.
"And third, that's...no way to ask a guy out," Andrew finished. "Just go up to him and say what's on your mind."
"I'm not asking him out!" She hissed through gritted teeth. "Look, Andrew, I can't tell you everything, but you need to trust me. This is very, very important. Like, life-and-death. So, I need you to let us in the supply closet, and make sure nobody is listening to us."
"Oh," Andrew said, giving a little smile. "I get it." He chuckled to himself.
"And that includes you," Serena added. "Promise me."
"Scout's honor," Andrew replied. "Darien will be there in a minute." He handed her a small silver key, and she quickly pushed herself out of the chair and strode down towards the back hall.
Andrew made his way down the counter slowly, eyes on his longtime friend, who was still nursing the milkshake while he was checking his cell phone.
"Hey buddy," Andrew said, coming up next to him. "So, get this. Serena wants to talk to you."
"Wow. Today must have been really crazy, how'd I not notice," Darien mused to himself. "Apparently the apocalypse happened and I'm the only man left on earth."
"I'm standing right here, y'know," Andrew said. "Anyway, she's waiting for you in the supply closet, and wants to talk to you right now."
"Seriously?" Darien asked, putting the phone away. "Wow, is it already opposite day?"
"Come on, Darien. She kinda made me promise," Andrew said sheepishly.
"Heh. Made you," Darien said. Nevertheless, he stood up, straightened his jacket and took off on a brisk walk towards the hallway behind the counter.
The supply closet was the first door on the left, so Darien didn't have much time to think about the nature of this situation. The door had been left ajar, so he pushed it open and strode in. Serena stood in the center of the small room with full shelves, lit only by a single bare lightbulb, arms crossed over her chest.
"Weird place to try to make out with someone, Meatball Head," Darien started.
"Close the door," Serena instructed. Darien obliged, clicking the pins into place.
"I don't kiss on the first date," Darien said, crossing his own arms over his chest. "But you're welcome to beg me to take you out for dinner. I'll even pretend to think about it for a second before I say no."
"Shut up," Serena demanded, letting her arms go to her sides. "Now, I have a proposition for you."
"Do you even know what proposition means?" Darien asked, leaning up against one of the shelves.
Serena gave a little rattled sigh, but maintained her composure. "Or, more accurately, me and my four friends have a proposition for you."
"Uh, wow," Darien said, raising an eyebrow at Serena. "Forward. Not really the menage a trois kind of guy, sorry-"
"Not that, you ass!" Serena huffed.
"Well, either way, I'll just save us both the time and tell you I'm not interested in junior high garbage, so whatever you and your friends are getting up to-"
"As it happens, Darien," Serena interrupted. "Me and my friends have...come into a sum of money, and we require assistance in...handling it."
"Heh," Darien chuckled. "That's adorable, really, but I'm not helping a group of teenage girls invest the eighty dollars they got for their birthdays." He turned around, hand reaching towards the doorknob. "I have more important things to do."
"Well, I suppose it's no surprise you're not man enough," Serena said. Darien's fingers paused on the knob. "It is a rather dangerous proposition."
"Yeah, you know what's dangerous, Serena?" Darien turned around and pointed at the blonde girl. "Your obsession with me."
"Darien-"
"Seriously, Meatball Head, call Kenny Loggins, because you're in the Danger Zone," he jabbed his index finger at her. "You know. From Top Gun?"
"Shut up!" Serena snapped. "D...D...Darien...Darien Douchebag! Listen, idiot, we'll be expecting you tomorrow, at the Cherry Hill Temple, at four o'clock sharp!"
"Well, too bad, I'm not helping a bunch of teenage brats invest their allowance money," Darien said, turning back to grab the doorknob. "Maybe your daddy will get you a roll of nickels if you ask nicely."
"Oh, you'll be there," Serena said, hands on her hips.
"And why's that?" Darien asked.
"Because of this," she said, reaching down towards the pocket on her left side. For a split second, Darien had the crazy idea she was going to pull out a gun, but then a wad of paper emerged from the fold of her uniform. She tossed the stack of small paper slips at Darien. He caught it reflexively in his right hand.
He looked at the paper stack for a second. It was a bundle of twenty dollar bills, tied together with a paper band that said '$1,000' on the front. Darien finally fell silent, staring at the bill on the front for several seconds, then slowly reaching his left hand up to flip through the stack of nearly identical bills.
"What is this?" He asked slowly.
"That's for you," Serena said, index finger up in the air and a grin on her face. "Now, if you'll excuse me-" she walked forward, trying to push past Darien to get to the door.
"Hey, wait," Darien said, grabbing the doorknob before Serena could. "I don't want your life savings, Meatball Head." He thrusted the money towards her. "Now, listen to me-"
"Don't be ridiculous," Serena said, smirking up at a highly confused Darien. "It's yours! Please, for your own sake, go buy a new jacket!"
"Serena. I'm not playing your games, I'm being serious here." He put the wad of cash up in front of her face. "Now, be honest with me. Where did you get this from?"
"Nuhuh," Serena said, wagging her finger. "You gonna have to play my game if you wanna find out. "
"Serena, I don't want it!" Darien said, thrusting the money into her chest. All traces of humor and fun were gone from Darien's voice and expression. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm not taking a thousand dollars from a teenage girl!"
Serena took the bundle in her little fingers. "Okay, your call." She flipped the bills over her shoulder, sending the little bundle of cash down to the concrete floor. "See ya later!"
"Serena!" Darien cried as she grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open.
Serena shrugged. "I don't want it. Toodles!" She strided out of the room, swaying her hips just a little more than necessary, waving at Darien over her shoulder.
Darien stared at where her back had been for several seconds, blinking stupidly. He looked down at the cash stack, then bent down and picked it up. He fished one of the bills out from the center of the stack and stared at it. He held it up to the light and stared at it, looking at the security band. He looked at the serial number. Then, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill of his own. He felt his, then felt the other.
He repeated the process three times with a randomly selected bill. And every time, he couldn't even find so much as a hint of forgery. If these bills were fakes, then they were extremely good ones.
"How?" he rasped to himself, palms starting to sweat a little bit. He kept staring at the stack, hoping that it might suddenly disappear and this would all end up being some sort of joke.
His mind spun, trying to justify this. He didn't know Serena's father, but he was fairly sure he worked a pretty typical job, certainly not the kind where you could give your teenage daughter wads of cash that she could throw away. Sure, she probably had some sort of allowance, as most teenagers did, but certainly not enough for her to just throw a thousand dollars around like it was a bunch of tissues. And he almost never failed to see Serena dumping quarters into a machine or sucking down milkshakes at the arcade, so she'd be the last one to save her allowance anyway.
He bent over, going down to one knee, hand on his forehead. It was...just impossible! He started to suck in deep breaths. Nothing made sense. He had to keep himself together. He needed-
"Uhh...you okay there, chief?"
Darien spun around. Andrew was standing at the threshold of the door, concern on his face.
"What did she do to you?"
Quickly, Darien shoved the money into his inside jacket pocket and spun around. "N-nothing! Nothing. I'm fine." His face was covered in sweat. "I just...I just need to use the bathroom." He walked out of the storage room.
"Oh. Ooohhhh, I get it," Andrew said, grinning.
"Shut it," Darien said, pointing at his friend. Andrew locked the door and Darien slowly walked up the hall.
No. There was a perfectly reasonable explanation. Maybe her father had just received a bonus at work and had given her some of the bounty. Maybe she really had been saving a bit of money over the years. After all, arcade machines weren't exactly pricey, and the milkshakes here were pretty cheap. She was probably getting guys to buy her food and gifts all the time. Lord knows...uh...some guys...probably found her very fetching.
A thousand dollars really wasn't that much. He made a thousand dollars every week of work, and he wasn't even very well established in his industry! Sure, he didn't exactly feel great about the idea of throwing one thousand of his dollars on the floor and walking away, but then again, he wasn't a stupid teenage girl.
He chuckled to himself as he went into the men's bathroom. It had been a nice little joke, but nothing more than that. She was probably hyperventilating right now, hoping that he would bring her money back tomorrow. Well then, fine. He would. Cherry Hill Temple, four o'clock tomorrow.
"Stupid girl," he muttered, smirking yet again as he splashed water up onto his face.