Name: Ichigo Kurosaki

Occupation: Deputy Shinigami

Nature of Injury: Amnesia

Cause: Unknown. Thought to be an accidental encounter with a Menos Grande, which resulted in a head injury.

oooOOOooo

"Who are you?"

It was a slap to the face, and I reeled back in shock.

"Wh-what?"

"Who are you? I mean, I know you're Grimmjow. And we're rivals. But who do you think you are?!"

"I… I…" I sat down in midair, my mind having been thrown through a loop.

It had just been getting good. We had just been getting to really know each other. When we were together, we weren't Shinigami and Espada. We were Ichigo and Grimmjow. But Aizen had been gaining on me steadily for a while. I didn't want to put Ichigo in danger. So I left for a while. It wasn't like I left without telling Ichigo. In fact, we talked about it, and Ichigo said he understood, and I promised I'd be back… What was going on here?

"You mean… You don' remember?" I heard my own voice, weak and questioning.

"What is there to remember?!" I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

Suddenly I didn't care where I was. I didn't care that I was surrounded by Ichigo and his 'friends'. I didn't care. Ichigo didn't remember anything, and what else was there to care about other than him? There wasn't anyone else I could turn to, no one else to trust. No one else good in my life. And now that was gone, too. My arm. My status. My home. My Ichigo.

"WHAT THE FUCK ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE FROM ME?!" I screamed, unsure of who I was demanding this of but demanding all the same.

In the end, I learned, having one arm and a lot of strength doesn't amount to anything when you're up against a bunch of Soul Reapers.

oooOOOooo

I woke up alone. Alone, cold, and hungry. Then again, I was always hungry. For power, for Hollows. There were some things that I always was. Always hungry. My left shoulder always ached. My Hollow Hole always ached. My mask always itched.

But besides the usual shit, now my head hurt and my body stung. Everywhere. I groaned and sat up. I felt like I'd just been hit by a train. I reached for Pantera. Gone. I wasn't surprised. I looked around at the empty, dark cell. It was pretty large, too. As far as cells go, I mean. Around my neck something was fastened tightly. A collar? I reached up to touch. Yes. Reiatsu suppressing, probably. I didn't want to test it.

I'll admit it. I was scared. Really scared. I was in the belly of the beast. Alone. I doubted that even Aizen would come here. Not now. I was going to die here, probably after being interrogated. That's what I would've done, were I the Soul Society. And all I could do was wait. No sooner had I finished thinking about that then a man with black hair came in. He wore a captain's coat, and it took me a moment to remember his name.

"Byakuya." I sneered. I was scared, but they didn't have to know that.

"… Grimmjow." He acknowledged. "You're going to tell me everything."

oooOOOooo

I hadn't said a fuckin' thing. I yelled in pain, I spat at his feet in blood. I wasn't going to talk. Not to him. Never. He'd have to… Kill… Me…

My thoughts slowed down. Ichigo had entered the room, and all I could do was stare out of my squinted eyes. Blood from some headwound was dripping into my eyes, stinging and burning and making it even harder to see. I was so tired. In the sudden silence of the room, I realized how harsh my breathing was. I also realized how it was only silent because the scream had died in my throat.

Ichigo jerked his head back to where I assumed the door was. Byakuya had pinned me to the back wall with some rope he'd thoughtfully brought along, so I couldn't see.

"Renji was lookin' for you. Said it was important." Byakuya nodded shortly, and throwing me a last contemptful look, (I growled wordlessly back) left.

Ichigo didn't say a thing to me. He came over and untied me from my place. He rubbed the feeling back into my arm, ignoring the blood that now covered his hands.

"What's…. What's goin' on out there?" I asked, unable to help myself. I needed to know.

"They're trying to decide what to do with you." Ichigo said it like it wasn't a big deal.

"Oh." I didn't have the strength to be angry anymore. I just wanted to get the fuck out of here.

Once I was standing on my own, I slid down the wall. I was so tired…

"Don't you dare fall asleep, Grimmjow. Dammit, Byakuya, you went too far!" I don't think I was meant to hear that second part.

But I didn't give a fuck. Ichigo was holding me close to his chest, touching me again. So what if I sounded like a goddamn school girl? If you were me, you'd understand exactly how inexplicably happy I was. But I'd also do just about anything for Ichigo. So I stayed awake. The orange haired girl ran in. What was her name…? Orihime? That sounded right. Were all of Ichigo's friends here? When did Ichigo call her? She began to heal me, but just the wounds Byakuya had caused. She left my left shoulder out, and I couldn't be sure if it was on purpose or not. Ichigo had stepped back to give Orihime room, leaving me lying on my back.

"Hey. Ichigo." I wanted his attention. I wanted him to listen really closely.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"… I'll tell you everything." And I did. Maybe I thought it would put me back in his good graces, even if he didn't remember.

I talked so long my thorat was raw and my jaw hurt. I talked even after Orihime left. I talked even after I finished explaining what I knew about Aizen and the Espada. I talked about whatever came to mind- my imprisonment, where I'd been while I was away, the kind of human music I liked, how I felt about Ichigo (that was something I may never discuss again. It was downright embarrassing, and I never want to talk about it again.), what had happened between us and how much I wanted us to have that again, but if he truly didn't want to be with me then I would let him go and be content with just being around him. Even though I said that would be okay with me, I knew instinctively that it really wouldn't.

I talked until I ran out of topics, until I ran out of things to say. And then we were silent for a while. Ichigo stood up, and I watched as he left without a word. He was just outside the cell when I called out to him.

"Ichigo!" He paused. "If… If this is the last time we're going to see each other… Tell me goodbye. Turn around, look me in the face, and tell me goodbye."

He didn't. He just kept walking. I stood, but didn't go to the bars to see him leave. When Ichigo was just out of sight, when I heard the door shut behind him, I let out a scream of absolute frustration. I hoped he'd heard it. I hoped he felt bad. I was going to die a nothing. A nobody. I wasn't anything to anyone, not anymore. I wasn't even a tool. Being a tool would be better than nothing, even with my pride.

oooOOOooo

Renji was very nearly in a panic. Ichigo had relayed the information Grimmjow gave him, but it had come too late. Karakura town was already being attacked. Thankfully, precautions had been taken and the captains were already on their way. The citizens and real Karakura town were safe. But Renji couldn't find Ichigo anywhere. The only place he hadn't checked was Grimmjow's cell. So he went there. HE witnessed in partial shock as Ichigo helped Grimmjow out of the cell, removing the reiatsu suppressing collar.

"Your friend's spyin' on us." Grimmjow growled in that rough voice he had. Renji had never seen an Espada look so submissive and yet dangerous. And by this point, he'd seen the Espadas more than he'd like to admit.

"I know. C'mon, Renji, we've gotta go!" Ichigo and Grimmjow ran past him, and as the teal haired man went by, the redhead realized that he had his zanpakto back. Renji had no idea how Ichigo pulled that off, but he decided that if anyone asked, he didn't see what he just saw.

oooOOOooo

I was fighting for my life. I never thought I'd be fighting on the Soul Reaper's side, but here I was. I was going to kill Luppi, but the captain fighting him told me to stay out of it. Fuck that, I was going to murder that little bastard! It didn't matter that I only had one arm. I could still kick his ass. I took over the captain's fight. Luppi was dead pretty quickly after that. He obviously had underestimated the extent of my anger.

"Thanks." The captain grumbled reluctantly.

"Don't mention it."

Movement caught my eye. I snapped around, and was rushing forward before I realized what I was doing.

oooOOOooo

Aizen had been ready to land an attack on Ichigo's friends, show the little twit why you didn't mess with him or get in his way. But instead of stabbing Ichigo's friend… He'd stabbed Grimmjow? Aizen laughed. It made no difference to him.

"You're protecting these pitiful humans? You, Grimmjow? I really expected better." Aizen laughed cruely, twitching his sword and causing a groan of pain to fall from Grimmjow's lips.

"Why are you helping us?!" Uryuu snarled.

"You're Ichigo's friends." Grimmjow turned a little, looking back at Ishida with the saddest eyes. "That's all the reason I need. He'd be sad if you died."

oooOOOooo

I don't remember the end of the battle. I remember collapsing on the earth after Aizen's attack, the breath leaving my body as I landed. I remember Ichigo's reiatsu disappear just before I passed out. I remember waking up with Urahara hovering over me.

"Ah! See? I told you getting him into a Gigai would help him wake up!" He grinned.

"A… A what?" I mumbled. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and the right side of my face felt strangely light and non-itchy.

"A Gigai! A body!" Urahara looked pleased.

"Oh." I couldn't feel Ichigo's reiatsu. I felt reality begin to crumble a little.

"Ichigo's fine, if that's what you're wondering. He's just lost his Shinigami powers." Urahara became abruptly serious.

"Oh." I couldn't convey my relief with just that word.

"He hasn't really been around, though… Thank you for agreeing to check on him later today!"

"Wha- sure." I wasn't entirely sure what I had just agreed to. I was still stuck on the 'lost his shinigami powers' business.

But before I knew it, I was up and walking absently down the street towards Ichigo's house. My Gigai still didn't have a left arm, and I rubbed my shoulder self-consciously. Thunder rolled above me. I ignored the water falling from the sky that landed on my shoulders and head as I walked. Ignored the way it soaked my tank top through, and the way it made my nylon cargo pants chaff. My hair hung in my eyes, dripping water onto my nose and lips. I didn't bother brushing it away. I kept rubbing the right side of my face, where my cheek was unmarred by my mask. It felt weird, but not bad. And my Hollow Hole was gone, too. That was just strange.

I got to Ichigo's house without having to stop and ask for directions. Guess I'd just memorized where it was by now. I stood outside for a long time, unsure of whether to knock or walk in or something. What would happen if I did? How would Ichigo react? And what would happen if I just walked away?

I'm not sure how long I stood there. Guess I lost track of time. But the door did eventually open to reveal Ichigo. We blinked at each other for a moment and then I looked away, down at my feet. My right arm felt useless just hanging by my side, so I rubbed my neck nervously, if only so I didn't look totally stupid.

"Um… Hey."

oooOOOooo

The sight of Grimmjow in the rain reminded me of something. What was it?

A little cat in the rain, huddled in on itself, ears flat against its head to protect against the raindrops. Shivering and cold, soaked to the bone.

Something in Grimmjow reminded me of that cat. The way he shuffled his feet and bowed his head. It was kind of coming back to me now… I invited him in, told him to wait while I got him a towel. As I took the towel out of the linen closet, it hit me. Grimmjow was the cat. This towel was the same one I used to dry him off the first time. I thought that as I held the fluffy green bath towel in my hands. I could remember now.

A slow, mischievous smile spread across my face. I'd make him wait just a little longer. Really surprise him. After carefully arranging my face into a calm, stoic expression, I went back out to Grimmjow. He hadn't moved much. Just took off his shoes and rubbed his pants mostly dry. They still looked damp.

"C'mon." I had to practically tug him into the living room.

I sat down on the couch, towel in my lap. Grimmjow started to reach for it, but I jerked it away.

"Sit." I gestured between my knees.

"I can do i-"

"Sit." A little more demanding this time.

I watched Grimmjow's every move as he walked in front of me. I spread my knees, motioning between them vaguely. I was doing this to him on purpose, yes. I saw his Adam's Apple bob when he swallowed and slowly sunk to his knees in between my own.

"Arm." He raised his arm, his fingertips brushing my chest.

I took the towel and dried his shoulder first before going down his bicep and then forearm. I took a torturously long time on purpose, enjoying the way he tried not to watch me work. And I thought chivalry was dead- he obviously was trying to respect how he thought I felt. I finished with his arm and gently put it back down by his side. He didn't say anything as I swabbed his throat and collarbone, nor as I sweapt the towel gently over his face. I moved on to his hair, covering his head and rubbing gently at first and then more vigorously. Grimmjow's arm shot out and grabbed my knee for balance, and he spread his knees a little more. I grinned.

Finally, I changed my game up. Instead of just drying his hair, I began to massage his scalp. I remembered the soft, sensitive spot behind his ears, and purposely massaged there. Just as I predicted, a little moan tumbled out of his mouth, unanticipated, so he couldn't stifle it in time.

"Enjoying this, Grimmjow?" I asked playfully, moving the towel so I could see his face, using my thumbs on either side of his head to tilt it up and force him to look at me.

His cheeks were a little red, and his eyes clouded over. It took him too long to say something, so I rubbed behind his ears again with the pad of my thumb, sliding lower to stroke his throat. Just as I expected, he opened his mouth and made a little cry that, did I not value my life, I would have called a meow.

I slid off the couch and onto the floor to be level with him, chest to chest, forehead to forehead, breathing each other's air. I held him tightly so he couldn't get away and whispered in his ear.

"Even if you only have one arm."

Suddenly, he was clinging to me, his lips on mine in a fierce kiss. We broke apart, breathless.

"Do you still love me, even if I forgot?" I asked.

"Even if you forgot." Grimmjow buried his face in my neck, dropping little kisses there and tiny love bites. He was making it very hard to think.

"Even if I was a dick?"

"Even if you were a dick." He rumbled into my skin. I shivered.

"Even if I've lost my Soul Reaper powers?" He pulled away, and I searched his face for some emotion that would indicate his affections had changed, or he was disgusted to be with such a weak person.

"Especially if you've lost your powers." He kissed me again, and I was reassured that no matter what happened, even if I had lost my memory and the shit had pretty much hit the fan, he still loved me.

/r/65sf0m/5

This is a link to the original end-notes. If it's broken, please let me know, and I will replace it. :3