Yay! Organization XIII Gone Retarded is back! Get ready for all the orignal retardation plus all new stuff!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the hardly noticeable storyline.
Warnings: Violence, Language, Fighting, Holyness, Retardation, Protective Fathers
The next day, everyone had to get revived and XEMNAS got a call from the Hollow Bastion Doctor's Office. They were 15 years overdue for appointments. Also just so happened that XIGBAR hit his head and became retarded.
"In the meeting room....." SMC said.
"Nobodies, the time has come for us to go to the doctor." Xemnas announced.
"BUT WE DON WANNA GO!" Everyone yelled.
"We are going whether you retards like it or not!" Xemnas growled. There was a red anger sign above his head.
XEMNAS quickly portaled everyone to the doctor's office.
XEMNAS walked up to the counter."Organization XIII is here for appointments."
"The Doctors will see the first three of you in a minute." Yuffie said, popping bubble gum.
'Dumbass girl...' XEMNAS thought."Thank you..."
XEMNAS went and sat down in one of the chairs. Then, Doctor CLOUD came out.
"Xemnas, come in please." Dr. CLOUD said. He sounded extremely boring.
XEMNAS
"So, Xemnas, what seems to be the problem?" Dr. CLOUD asked.
"I really need some anti-stress medicine or I'm going to go insane." XEMNAS sighed.
"Okay, I'll sign the prescription for...What's this?(Checks papers) Hmm, you need your annual flu shot."
"OBJECTION!" Ace Attourney PHIONEX WRIGHT yelled from outside the window.
"What the hell? Not him again..." Dr. CLOUD said."GUARDS!"
They watch as 3 huge guys go and tackle PHIONEX WRIGHT.
"Bastard..." Dr. CLOUD murmured.
"Well shoot....Oh well, just give me the shot. I do NOT wanna get sick and have to deal with those retards." Xemnas lifted up his sleeve.
Dr. CLOUD walked over to the counter and pulled out a two foor long needle and filled wit with green bubbly liquid. Then he stabbed XEMNAS in the arm.
"GODDAMN!"
"(Puts a band-aid on Xemnas' arm) Here's your prescription. It relived stress for 24 hours. Take it once a day."
"Thanks...." XEMNAS looked at Dr. CLOUD like he was crazy.
"I can see why you call them retarded, one of them was banging his head against the fish tank like a maniac."
XIGBAR
" So what's the problem?" Dr. LEON asked.
"(Angry) I DON HAVE A PROBLEM!" XIGBAR screamed.
'The way you were banging your head, you must have one.' Dr. LEON thought."Appearently, you need your FLU shot and ADHD shot."
"(Starts failing around like a complete maniac) I DON WANNA SHOT! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" XIGBAR starts screming at the top of his lungs.
"NURSE!" Dr. LEON yelled, trying to grab XIGBAR's arms.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
SMACK!
XIGBAR smacked the spit out of LEON.
"NURSE! GOOD GOD!"
Then, the door opened and SEPHIROTH came in with two giant six foot needles and he was in a nurse outfit. SEPHIROTH'S theme starts playing.
"SE-PHI-ROTH!" The CHORUS FROM HEAVEN says.
"OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" XIGBAR shrieked, staring at the needles.
"(Hands needles to Dr. LEON) I'll knock him out." N. SEPHIROTH yawned.
N. SEPHIROTH took out a giant hammer and whacked XIGBAR over the head with it.
WHAM! SMACK!
XIGBAR hit the wall and fell on the floor.
'Jesus Christ' Dr. LEON thought. He took the needles and jabbed them in XIGBAR's arm.
XALDIN
"So, your Xaldin. What wrong?" Dr. Aerith smiled.
"You're pretty..." XALDIN is drooling.
"Oh damn....DOCTOR CLOUD!" N. AERITH screamed.
Dr. CLOUD came in.
"What's---Not again." Dr. CLOUD is extremely mad. He pulls out a pair of glasses and put them on XALDIN. They show XALDIN unspeakable things.
"MY EEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS! IT BURNS!" XALDIN screeched.
Then N. AERITH pulled out a needle and shoved it in XALDIN's arm.
"Hey Cloud, Lemme hold a dollar." XALDIN said.
"Just get the hell out." Dr. CLOUD hands XALDIN a dollar.
XALDIN tried to run out of the room, but he ran into the wall.
WHAM!
Then he left. The three returned to the waiting room and VEXEN, LEXAEUS, and ZEXION went in.
VEXEN
"I'm not gonna beat around the bush, you need a flu shot." Dr. CLOUD sighed.
"We nobodies are incapable of producing bacteria or obtaining the bacteria to produce the Flu virus." VEXEN said in a snobby tone.
"We all know he sounds retarded." SMC interrupts.
"I thought you guys lost your emotional hearts not your god damn organ systems."
"Well, little cute boy---" VEXEN is interrupted.
"O _ O" Dr. CLOUD is scared.
He shoves the needle in VEXEN's arm before screaming and running away, yelling 'child molestor'.
LEXAEUS
"So, you ready for your flu shot?" Dr. LEON asked.
There is no response.
"Okay then."
Dr. LEON tried to shove the needle in LEXAEUS' arm, but the muscle is too damn big.
"Well, I'ma gonna hafta use the big needle."
Dr. LEON pulls out a needle that is 7 feet long.
"(Grunts) That hurt." LEXAEUS said.
"Do you want a hello kitty band-aid?"
"YAY!"
Dr. LEON gives the band-aid to LEXAEUS.
"NOW GET THE HELL OUT!" Dr. LEON yelled.
"Wha-" LEXAEUS is confused.
"OUT!"
ZEXION
"So, Zexiom is it?" N. AERITH said.
"Zexion." ZEXION said.
"Ready for your flu shot?"
"We nobodies can't get germs."
"Well the new flu virus can inffect nobodies." N. AERITH Said, smiling creepily.
"JESUS CHRIST, GIVE ME THE SHOT, NOW!" ZEXION screamed.
"(Anime sweatdrop) Calm down..." N. AERITH gives ZEXION the shot.
"Thank you!" Zexion sighed.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I'm deathly afraid of germs."
"Well, you're surrounded by them all the time and you have them in you."
"What......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" ZEXION shrieked and passed out.
VEXEN and LEXAEUS drug ZEXION into the waiting room, and SAIX, AXEL, and DEMYX went in.
SAIX
"Okay, Saix, time for you rabies shot and flu shot." Dr. CLOUD sighed.
"I thought nobodies couldn't get sick."
"This flu inffects nobodies."
"Oh..." Saix said."(Goes berserk) I DON WANNA HAVE MY RABIES SHOT! ROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!
SAIX jumped on CLOUD and proceeded to maul him.
WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NNUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE!" Dr. CLOUD shrieked.
RIKU came in with 2 giant 8 foot long needles. He was also in a nurse's outfit.
"Lemme me get him...." RIKU said.
He shoved both the needles in SAIX's ass. Then he hit SAIX over the head.
"Shouldn't you have hit Saix over the head first?" Dr. CLOUD asked.
"Probably." RIKU shrugged.
"Oh right, I've been mauled." Dr. CLOUD falls on the floor dramaticly and starts hyperventilating and shaking."I-I need a d-doctor....I'm epileptic!"
"If you're wondering where this came from, it came from the movie, The Pest." SMC said.
AXEL
"Please don't make this any harder than it has to be." Dr. LEON said.''
"What's your problem?" Axel asked.
"I've been mauled by a guy with a eyepatch."
"Ah, okay. The guy's retarded."
Dr. LEON takes the needle and enjects the medicine into AXEL's arm.
'Thank God...." LEON thought.
"DON'T COUNT ON IT!" GOD said.
"WTF. O . o" AXEL said.
DEMYX
"Hello Demyx!" N. AERITH said.
"Hiya!"
"Ready for your flu shot?"
"Sure." DEMYX said.
N. AERITH gives DEMYX the shot. It hurts for 2 seconds.
"Sweet! It barely hurt!"
"Do you want some Sea-Salt Icecream?"
"YAY!" N. AERITH give DEMYX the icecream bar.
"You're better than the dreadlocked man." N. AERITH said.
"Why?(Licks icecream)" DEMYX asked.
"He fell in love with me and we had to show him unspeakable things."
"What kind of unspeakable things?"
"(Low demon voice) UNSPEAKABLE THINGSZ! MWAHAHAH!" N. AERITH laughs like a maniac.
"OH CRAP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" DEMYX runs away.
The pitch of his screams make AERITH's boobs explode.
BAM! BAM!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dr. CLOUD screamed.
"That comes from Don't Mess With the Zohan, something that will have more references, along with other things." SMC said.
DEMYX and AXEL had to drag SAIX back into the waiting room and LUXORD, MARLUXIA, and LARXENE went in. XIGBAR is still banging his head against the fish tank.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
"MAKE THIS RETARD STOP!" The FISH screamed.
LUXORD
"Are you ready?" Dr. CLOUD asked.'Please don't hurt me...'
"Guess so." LXUORD lifted up his sleeve.
"Thank god I didn't get mauled or molested."
"Guy with blue hair and a X-shaped scar, and a old blond haired man?"
"Yep."
"Figures."
Dr. CLOUD gives LUXORD the shot.
"Thank you!" Dr. CLOUD starts praising the lord with gospel music.
"Hell no." LUXORD said. He summoned his cards.
SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHINK!
Dr. CLOUD gets a million paper cuts.
MARLUXIA
"Are you gay?" Dr. LEON asked.
"Why yes I am." MARLUXIA said."Wanna kiss?"
MARLUXIA unzips his coat. He is wearing nothing but some speedos.
"MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dr. LEON starts rolling on the floor and screaming.
"Fine..." MARLUXIA rezips his coat.
"I'm fine now." Dr. LEON gets up off the floor like nothing happened and gives MARLUXIA the shot.
"Homophobic idiot..." MARLUXIA said under his breath.
A bunch of swordfish come and take MARLUXIA away.
"Thanks, GOD!" Dr. LEON cried.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!
A bolt of lightning struck LEON.
"I HATE YOU!" GOD roared.
LARXENE
"Hello!" N. AERITH greeted.
"JUST do it, goddammit!" LARXENE hissed.
"Well okaaaay...(Pulls out a needle) Get ready."
Small bolts of lightning starts erupting from LARXENE.
"NO one said anything about a shot!" LARXENE roared and jumped on AERITH.
"Actually, Xemnas, told evryone that they were getting shots. Dang short term memory loss..." SMC sighed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! CLOUD! SAVE ME!" AERITH screeched.
Dr. CLOUD rushed in with his sword. He swung his sword and whacked LARXENE in the head. N. AERITH quickly gave LARXENE the shot.
"Thank you." N. AERITH said.
"You're welcome.." CLOUD smirked.
Cricket chirp.
They start having sex.
"Gross, what the hell." GOD says. He sentences them to eternal hell.
IN HELL......
"Hey." Hades said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" AERITH and CLOUD screamed.
A little boy walks up.
"This is my nephew, I'm keeping him."
"AIHLUIGLIGL()&*%&*^#^" The Little boy starts foaming at the mouth as his head turned 360 degrees.
"Not again."
SMACK!
Hades kicked the boy.
AERITH and CLOUD faint.
BACK AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE......
LUXORD, MARLUXIA, and LARXENE came back out and ROXAS went in.
ROXAS
"I'll be taking over for Dr. CLOUD, he went to hell." Dr. LEON shrugged.
"O . o Okay..." ROXAS looked at Dr. LEON. "Did you happened to get mauled by a guy with a eyepatch?"
"Yes...." Dr. LEON hissed.
"He's my adoptive father." ROXAS grinned.
"Oh is he? :D" Dr. LEON grinned evilly and then he pulled out a knife.
"Oh GOD... O . O" ROXAS's eyes got wide."XIGBAR!"
XIGBAR runs in with sword.
"What the hell do you think yer doin'?" XIGBAR asked.
"I thought he was retarded!" Dr. LEON cried.
"I'm only retarded 90% of the time....."XIGBAR's eye turned red.
"Oh shit."
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!"
WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM! WHAM! CLANK! SMACK! SLAM!
XIGBAR mauled LEON.
"Ugh..." LEON died.
"Yay for Xigbar!" ROXAS yelled.
XIGBAr picked ROXAS up and took him out of the room.
IN THE WAITING ROOM....
"The bill is 16,000 munny." Yuffie told Xemnas.
"Okay...(Pays the munny)"Xemnas though for a moment."That's too damn much! We are never coming here again!"
"The doctor's don't want you back and neither do I!" Yuffie shouted.
"FINE!"
SLICE!
XEMNAS sliced Yuffie's head off, took back all his money, and portaled the rest of Organization XIII back to the Castle That Never Was.
A FEW HOURS LATER IN THE MEETING ROOM.....
"So what did you guys learn?" SMC questioned.
XIGBAR raised his hand.
"72!" XIGBAR yelled.
"Oh Xigbar..." Everyone sighed.
"Now let's get a answer from who's not a comeplete retard."
SAIX raised his hand.
"Yes?"
" Doctor's are evil, like robots!" SAIX said.
"That's right! Now go to sleep." SMC lets loose a cannister of sleeping gas.
Everyone passed out.
"See you all next chapter!" SMC yelled."But first, your chapterly, SCENE SHOW! This one is short because my creative impulses are a bit low."
"Where's Xemnas?" Saix asked.
"In his office." Lexaeus said.
XEMNAS is in his office playing with some ducks made out of yarn.
"(Talking for DUCK 1) I luv youuuu." XEMNAS cooed."(Talking for DUCK 2) But I'm married...(DUCK 1) Then let's have sex-"
LEXAEUS opened the door.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" XEMNAS screamed and flung the ducks into the wall.
WHAM! CRASH!
The ducks knock down a picture.
"Superior?"
TO BE CONTINUED....
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