Alex left early the next morning to head to work. She pulled into the parking lot and unlocked the building making her way through the store to her office in the back. Grimm laid down next to Alex's desk as she went over morning paperwork.
"Good morning boss"
Pulled from her thoughts, Alex looked up to see her manager Tasha "Morning Tasha"
"You alright? Looks like you didn't get much sleep. Need a coffee?" The woman asked kindly.
Alex raised her mug "Thanks anyway"
Tasha nodded her head "I'll be up front if you need anything" Alex nodded back and continued staring blankly at her screen. Alex had barely slept and now could do little but think of Piper. She was once again pulled from her thoughts by her phone vibrating.
Alex sighed seeing it was Nicky and pressed the green button. Before she could say hello the fiery woman was already speaking "First off, fuck you Vause. I was up all night trying to sort this shit out. Second, fuck you Vause. I was up all night dealing with this and now Lorna is pissed. Thirdly, FUCK YOU Vause! If this blows up you have to leave town. That means I have to choose my career or Lorna."
"Nicky I'm sorry" Alex was exhausted and her voice completely deflated "Whatever you need me to do I will."
Nicky was silent for a moment, "I'm coming by for lunch. You're house hunting. I want you on the other side of town. We'll talk about the business later. Moving that is going to be harder."
"Nick-" Alex was cut off by Nicky "Save it Vause. Larry Bloom is a writer. Piper was a literature major. They like to read. You own a bookstore. Sooner or later one of them is going to walk through that door and fuck everything up again."
Alex nodded her head even though Nicky couldn't see her "I'll see you at lunch. Thanks Nichols" Alex hung up not waiting for a reply. Once again Piper Chapman was leaving her life and Alex had nothing left.
After leaving Alex's house the night before the blonde was in a daze. Everything was out of control. Piper had barely slept and once Larry headed off to work she decided to leave the house. She couldn't sit at stare at the house next door wondering where Alex was. Her morning run had failed to clear her head so she decided to explore the area. First thing she needed to find was a good place to get coffee and read a book. A quick google search revealed 2 places within 20 minutes. A Barnes & Noble and a local business, Green Light Books and Café. Piper decided to check out the small business.
As Piper pulled up she smiled. The storefront was charming. Red brick and white window frames. It reminded her of an old bookstore she frequented in Paris when they had first arrived full of all the hope the city of love brings. The attached café had an outdoor patio and Piper could picture herself spending many afternoons here. The blonde smiled as she pulled open the door and took in the aroma of strong coffee and books.
"Welcome to Green Light" Tasha smiled as an unfamiliar face entered the store. Their mornings were usually full of regulars coming in for coffee on their way to work. "Hi, thank you" Piper smiled back to the woman as she looked around the large open space. The inside of the bookstore resembled a large home library. Dark wood shelves and wood floors. Leather couches and chairs placed around for reading. A more modern inspired café made up the far end of the building.
"I'm Tasha the manager. Let me know if there's anything I can help you find."
Piper laughed "I think I need some coffee first" she smiled warmly at the woman and made her way to the barista. She was pleased to find her favorite brew was one of the featured items on the menu.
"What brings you in today, besides coffee?" The small woman behind the counter asked.
"I just moved here. My husband is a writer. I had to find a place for a good coffee and book." Piper grinned as the barista nodded. "So what's with the name? It's different... Good different" Piper clarified.
The barista looked up and smiled "It's French." Piper furrowed her brows not understanding. "My dad was in the army. I was born there."
Piper's eyes widened as she noticed the barista's name tag Poussey. "Poussey… I'm… I'm sorry. I meant the store. Green Light."
Poussey nodded and was impressed that the blonde actually understood her name was French and not slang. "Owner is a Gatsby fan. The Green light, hope, the unattainable." Piper nodded understanding all too well. She'd spent many dreams reaching out towards her own green light that shined in Alex's eyes. Once Piper had her coffee she made her way to a nearby table and grabbed the nearest book.
Alex had been in her office for over 2 hours and still had not done much more than stare at the screen. She decided to head up front and get more coffee. Grimm ran out of the office ahead of her. It was typical for Grimm to be out in the store. Most customers loved him and he was a huge hit at the children's book events. Grimm headed towards the barista station where his food and water bowl were kept. Alex was stopped as she entered the store by a regular customer who wanted to thank her for a book recommendation. "My pleasure. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Alex smiled as the older man turned to exit the store. He bumped into a display causing a pile of books to fall on the floor. Alex politely told the man she'd clean up and sent him on his way.
Piper was lost in her book and didn't hear the canine approach. A wet nose pushed her elbow as it rested on the table. Piper was surprised to see the happy dog in front of her. She didn't immediately recognize him.
"Don't mind Grimm, he's a sweet boy. He's the owner's dog" the barista called from her station. Piper froze and focused on the dogs face and then to his tag 'Grimm' engraved on a sliver tag. The owner's dog. Piper shook her head at the thought no no this is just some crazy coincidence. This can't happen again. "You alright miss? Grimm come here buddy leave her alone. He didn't scare you did he?" Tasha reached down taking the dog's collar in her hand. She loved the dog but knew some customers were not dog lovers and were easily scared by the intimidating looking canine. Piper shook her head and tried to form words but her mind was spinning.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Tasha asked again. The blonde looked like she was about to have a panic attack. Tasha turned around to find her boss hoping she could help calm the customer. "Donna… Donna.. Donn-"
"What is it Tash?" the red haired woman came out of one of the aisles and looked at Grimm still in Tasha's grasp, her expression quickly changed. "What did he do?"
"Nothing he just said hello to a customer. I think he freaked her out. I think she's having a panic attack or something. I'm going to put him in your office. Can you go calm her down?" Alex nodded as Tasha headed towards the back office. Fucking shit, this is the last thing I need today.
As Alex rounded the corner she saw the blonde with her head in her hands sitting at the café table. Fuck. "Poussey take a break. Tasha's in the back. Can you give me a few minutes." Alex raised her eyebrow it wasn't a question and Poussey nodded before heading to the back of the store.
Piper raised her head as she heard the approaching footsteps "Pipes? You alright?" Alex asked giving a concerned look to the blonde.
Piper laughed dryly and shook her head no. She was trying to hold it together but could feel herself on the verge of a hysterical fit of laughter and tears. "Don't move" Alex quickly turned around double checking the floor that no other customers were in the building. Alex went to the front desk and scribbled on a piece of paper, she taped it to the front door and locked it. She went to her office and found Tasha and Poussey with Grimm. Tasha spoke first, "How's that lady?" Alex looked at Tasha "Fine, just a bad morning. Look guys something came up and I need to close for the day. Enjoy a paid day off."
"For real?" Poussey raised her brows and Alex nodded. "Everything okay boss?" Tasha asked with a skeptical expression. "Yeah guys everything is okay. I'll see you at open tomorrow." The two nodded and left through the back exit. Alex called the rest of her staff and let them know they didn't need to come in today.
"Grimm come" Alex headed back up front with Grimm and found Piper had moved to a shelf full of owner recommendations. Piper was pulling books out and frantically searching the shelf.
"Pipes?" Alex questioned softly.
"Where is it?" Piper's voice sharp at the edges.
"Where's what?" Alex took a few small steps approaching the distressed blonde "Pipes calm down. What are you looking for?"
"The book Alex. They're all here, all of them except… Where is it?" The blonde's cerulean blue eyes locked onto Alex's chartreuse green.
"I never finished it. I can't recommend a book I didn't read" Alex stated simply.
Piper looked at Alex, her expression questioning the taller woman. "Why?"
Alex sighed and shook her head breaking eye contact "I try every once in a while and every time all I can think about is the last time I read it, in Paris before… I…I couldn't finish it. If I did it was like I was closing that chapter of my life and you both would be gone forever. I couldn't finish it."
The revelation sent Piper's heart to an erratic pace. She'd never been able to finish it either. Quickly, she turned and walked back towards the café table. Alex followed. The blonde grabbed her purse and turned to leave almost running into the taller woman. "I should go" Piper mumbled as she stepped around Alex.
"Piper wait" Alex grabbed the blonde's arm and stopped her. "We're alone. I closed the store. Nicky is coming by in a few hours. I… I'm leaving."
Piper's expression pained "This is your store." It was barely a question. Alex nodded her head. "It looks just like that one in Paris." Alex nodded. "I can't… I can't be the reason you lose this place too. I will leave. I'll stay away. I'll tell Larry I have to go back to New York. Polly will cover for me. I can't do this to you again."
"Piper… I closed for the day so we could talk before Nicky gets here." Piper exhaled relief at understanding Alex was not closing down the store because of her. Alex gestured for Piper to take a seat. The blonde sat down unsure of what to do next. Alex stepped towards the barista's station.
"Do you want something else to drink or something to eat?" Alex asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Piper didn't respond. Remembering what the blonde liked, Alex quickly made her a drink and brought it to the table. Piper was grateful for a distraction and took a sip. She smiled at the perfect taste knowing that Alex had remembered how she took her coffee after all of these years.
"Look Piper… yesterday… I …" Alex trailed off not sure where to begin.
"This is my fault" Piper tried to force a smile. "You know me, new place and the first thing on my agenda is finding a place for a good coffee and book." Alex half smiled remembering how Piper would drag her out to explore the area in each city they visited looking for a café and bookstore. "I never imagined that one day I'd end up in one you own"
"There's a lot we never imagined" Alex said softly as she stared into the contents of her mug lost in her thoughts.
Piper looked up expecting to meet Alex's gaze and saw her lost in deep thought. She allowed herself to stare, taking in all of the subtle changes of the woman she once centered her life around. Her hair was red and it seemed to make her green eyes darker. Piper almost wished Alex would look up so she could stare deep into the familiar irises once more. A few laugh lines were visible if you looked hard. Her skin was still flawless and Piper knew from seeing her run that Alex was in phenomenal shape. Alex wore black framed glasses that sat perfectly on the bridge of her nose. She had not been wearing glasses yesterday and Piper felt like Alex was a little more herself today despite the hair. Her lips were still perfectly full. Piper quickly pulled her attention away as thoughts of what Alex could do with that mouth started to creep into her mind.
Alex looked up briefly catching the blonde's gaze "Look, I thought a lot last night. You're happy and you deserve it. I'm not going to mess up your life again. Nicky will be here in a few hours and we're going to talk about my relocat-"
"No" Piper barely recognized her own voice as the words escaped.
"Piper look at me." Alex gestured at herself "I've been hiding for 7 years. Eventually they always find me. I'm not putting you at risk" Alex raised her eyebrows and challenged Piper to argue.
"What do you mean they always find you? Have they gotten to you before?" Piper's eyes were wide with worry.
Alex shrugged "A few close calls. There's a lot to adjust to early on. I've gotten better."
"Then there's no reason you have to leave. If Kubra was going to use me to get to you he would have done it a long time ago. It wouldn't have mattered where you were. If he had me he would have gotten to you."
"Piper…" Alex took a breath and then looked back into Piper's eyes "It's not just the cartel. I can't be around you. I can't be your friend."
Piper nodded silently understanding. Of course she wouldn't want anything to do with you. You left her when her mother died. You broke her heart. She gave you everything and you left her with nothing. "You're right. I don't think I'd forgive me either."
Alex furrowed her brows "That has nothing to do with it. Do you not listen to anything I say? I'm an addict. I can't live wondering if I'm going to bump into you every single day. I can't know where you live. I can't see you with…" Alex stopped herself from admitting how much it killed her to see Piper with her husband. "Sooner or later I'd use just to forget."
"I promise I will do whatever Nicky says. You won't have to worry about running into me." Piper was lying through her teeth. She'd barely slept either. Knowing Alex was so close to her and that everything she'd thought about her had been wrong she was reeling, questioning her whole life for the past 8 years. She loved Larry. He was a good man. Kind and loving. Safe. Piper had been happy hadn't she? Life with Alex was impossible so she had forced herself to move on. Seeing Alex now it was painfully clear that no one had ever compared. No one had ever taken her place. No one could make Piper feel the way Alex Vause did. It was only a matter of time before Piper accepted this. For now though she convinced herself she could be friends with Alex. If they were friends then she'd have closure and then she could put all of these feelings to rest. She'd no longer feel this pull towards her.
"What happens when your husband wants to go grocery shopping on a day that I go? What happens when we bump into each other at the gas station… at a stoplight…a restaurant… taking out the trash… walking down the street? It's no way to live Piper." Alex stated the obvious but it's not how she felt. She wanted Piper close. Even if she couldn't be with the blonde she took comfort knowing she was near. Knowing she was safe and happy. Knowing that she could see that smile and those blue eyes. Alex also knew that it would kill her. She would die a little inside each time she saw Piper happy knowing she wasn't the cause of that happiness.
"Why does it have to be different than seeing any other stranger on the street?" Piper asked without thinking.
"Oh I don't know because you aren't a fucking stranger. You saw me and ran into garbage cans Piper. Look, enough okay? Let's take this for what it is. We should have never seen each other again but we have and now Nicky will make sure it never happens again. We have a chance say goodbye." Alex of course didn't want to say goodbye. She wanted Piper. She knew that wasn't an option so once again she found herself wanting to protect Piper. Wanting to make sure Piper was happy and would be alright.
"What do you want me to say Al? I was alright and since last night…" Piper shook her head "All this time I thought one thing and now… now I know I was wrong. Everything is different but nothing is changing. You're leaving me."
"You know I don't want to. I can't stay Piper." Alex's gaze bore into the blonde. She'd never been able to leave Piper and she didn't know how to now. It was out of her control. She hadn't been in control of her life in years. This wasn't her choice. It was killing her. A tear spilled over running down the blonde's cheek. Alex reached out, gently caressing Piper's face in her hand as her thumb wiped the tear away.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Nicky Nichols emerged from the back of the store and spotted the pair sitting at the nearest café table. Alex quickly withdrew her hand.
"Nicky it's not what you th-" Alex started to explain.
"Shut the fuck up Vause. Bloom?" Nicky looked at the blonde waiting for an explanation.
Piper didn't immediately respond to the name she was called, she opened her mouth but nothing came out. Nicky took a deep breath while her eyes burned holes into the pair in front of her. "This is Alex's store so I expect her to be here. You Bloom I do not. I told you to STAY THE FUCK AWAY and here you are."
"I…I didn't know. I came in and saw the dog and panicked." Piper tried to explain before being cut off by Nicky again "Wait let me get this straight. You came in and saw Grimm not Alex?" Piper nodded. "And instead of running as fast as you can out of that door you stayed and waited for Alex? Is that what you're fucking telling me? Because I know last night I specifically told you that you were NEVER to see her again."
"Nicky it wasn't like that" Alex tried to explain.
"What did I tell you this morning Vause? You are fucking up my life. This isn't just about you anymore! Do you want out?" Nicky glared at the taller woman "Answer me!"
Alex froze. If there was a fraction of a chance she could be with Piper she would take it no matter the risk to herself but she'd be putting Piper at risk as well. She just couldn't find the words to say no. She didn't know how to say she was leaving Piper.
Piper stared at Alex and half hoped Alex would say yes but quickly realized that would put her life at risk "Of course she doesn't want to. It's the only thing keeping her alive." Alex could only nod as she tightened her jaw and fought back tears welling in her eyes.
"Then it's settled. You're moving."
Alex opened her mouth but was cut off before she could utter a word.
"Save it. Wait for me in your office. I need a few minutes with Bloom." Nicky met Alex's glare and silently challenged the taller woman to piss her off further.
Alex closed her eyes for a moment gathering herself. She started to turn back towards Piper when Nicky grabbed her arm and spoke quietly through gritted teeth "No looking back. Stay in your office. If I even think you are eavesdropping I'm going to make her life very difficult." Alex clinched her jaw shut and nodded before heading towards her office. Grimm followed behind. When she reached her office Alex slumped in her chair and the tremors took over causing her lip to quiver. Unable to fight it any longer a sob escaped her lips and the tears flooded from her eyes.
"Bloom" Nicky glared at Piper who had wide eyes. "Why are you here?"
Piper struggled to speak as she looked in the direction Alex had disappeared in. That's the last time I'll ever see Alex. I never got to tell her I'm sorry. How much I've missed her. That I still…
"Bloom!" Nicky's voice pulled Piper from her thoughts.
"I came for coffee and to find a good book" Piper answered quickly.
Nicky lowered her head and glared harder "Why did you stick around when you learned this was Alex's store?"
"I..I panicked and then before I knew it she was right here"
"Bullshit" Piper looked up wide eyed at Nicky "You know when shit goes down and I panic my first instinct is to run. You expect me to believe that you, a person with a history of running when shit goes down who is an avid runner no less stayed seated because she panicked? And Alex had time to close up the store and send her employees home while you sat there panicking?"
Piper sighed "Look I've been a wreck since yesterday. So much has changed I just wanted-"
"You just wanted to convince her to stay so you could have your cake and eat it too."
Piper shook her head "No that's not, that's not it at all"
"Then enlighten me blondie" Nicky crossed her arms over her chest.
"I ruined her life" Piper barely got the words out before tears started streaming down her face "I was going to tell her to stay and I'd leave. I'd go back to New York. I'd do whatever you wanted me to do. I wanted to do anything to make it up to her."
Nicky uncrossed her arms and she almost allowed herself to feel bad for this woman. She'd spent the last 7 years telling Alex to get over her that she wasn't worth it. She had suspicions that the blonde woman Alex was hung up on was involved in the cartel but she never had enough information to investigate it further. Alex, even when she was at her drunkest, never gave up the blonde's name.
"Do you love her?" Nicky asked staring intensely at the blonde.
"It's… it's difficult" Piper said through tears.
"It's really not Piper. You love her or you don't. And to be clear I'm not asking if you love her like a friend or someone you really care about but you'll never change or give up anything for. I mean do you love her like I've seen her love you, still… after all of the shit you put her through."
Piper of course loved Alex. More than anything. She thought of Alex every day, she loved Alex more than anyone but she'd convinced herself a life with Alex was not possible, she'd forced herself to move on and try to be happy. Last night changed everything she thought she knew. "I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in my life" Piper finally managed to confess.
"But?"
Piper shook her head "I don't know. So much has happened."
"If tomorrow the cartel found Alex and she had to leave would you go with her?"
"I don't know how to lose her again. I don't know that I can leave my husband, family, and friends forever. Moving here was hard enough. I only came because I thought I would finally move on from Alex… I… I need time. I need to talk to her." Piper's wide blue eyes pleaded with Nicky.
Nicky slammed her hand down on the table and shook her head glaring at the blonde "I'm not going to let you break her heart again. You have no idea what she's been through. If you really mean what you said then go. Go back to New York and leave her the fuck alone. She's worked so hard to get here." Nicky waved her arms gesturing around the store.
"I'm not going to hurt her. I just need some time to figure things out. You don't under-" Piper was once again cut off by Nicky. "Save it Bloom. It's over. You're married. Alex may not care enough about herself but I do… Look, you were right to leave her back then. She was a shitty fucking person. The way you left was really fucking shitty but you were a kid. You're allowed to make poor life choices. Now be a fucking adult. Man up and do the right thing here. Let her get on with her life like you've done with yours."
Nicky heard Alex crying as she approached the office door. She paused for a moment before quietly opening the door hoping to not startle her. Grimm was sitting next to Alex with his head in her lap looking up at her. Alex's elbows rested on her desk and her head rested in her hands. Glasses carelessly discarded on the desk. Alex's body shook as she sobbed. Nicky had never seen Alex so upset and it shocked her. She placed a hand on her friend's shoulder "Vause"
Alex choked back another sob as her tear soaked face and red puffy eyes looked at Nicky. Nicky tilted her head slightly seeing her friend so broken "Oh Vause, come 'ere" Nicky opened her arms to hug the taller woman. Alex's bottom lip started to quiver unable to hold back her sobs any longer. She stood from her chair and hugged the shorter woman, her cries were slightly muffled by Nicky's shoulder.
"Alex, come on, talk to me" Nicky said as she rubbed her hand along Alex's back. Alex stepped away from the hug and attempted to hide her face. She retrieved a tissue from her desk and blew her nose as she tried to calm herself. "T-that's the last" Alex inhaled sharply "time I'll ever see her. All this time I hoped even though it was stupid I hoped I'd see her again and that there was still a chance for us no matter how small." More tears ran from Alex's eyes. "That was the last time I'll ever see her. It's really over." Alex collapsed back in her chair with her head in her hands.
"Vause I'm sorry. I really am but listen to me. It's been 8 years. She's moved on. She's married. You were just starting to live again. Don't you fuckin dare throw it all away. You need to let go."
Alex took a heavy breath and rubbed the stray tears from her eyes. "I don't know how."
Nicky rubbed the taller woman's back "I'll help. Why don't you go home and pack some bags. Stay at the safe house for the rest of the week?" Alex looked up at Nicky considering it. "You're not going to get anywhere seeing her next door Vause. You need to get away and clear your head until we get this sorted out."
Alex decided to call her store manager first to let her know she'd have to take care of things for the rest of the week. "Hey Tasha its Donna"
"Hey boss. How is everything? Hell of a strange morning yeah?"
"Yeah, listen the reason I called is that I have a family emergency. I need to fly out tonight and I probably won't be back until next Monday. Think you can run things for me while I'm out?"
"Yes, absolutely. You never talk about your family but I hope whoever or whatever it is will be alright and if there's anything I can do to help or whatever you just say the word. I'll let Poussey and Cindy know you'll be gone for the week."
"Thanks Tash, I really appreciate it. If anything comes up text me and I'll try to respond as soon as possible."
"Sure thing Donna, you take care."
"Thanks" Alex hung up and contemplated letting her girlfriend know she'd be gone. Alex hadn't planned on responding to any of her calls or texts while she was out of town anyway. Deciding she'd had enough drama for the day Alex put her phone down and started getting paperwork in order and instructions for Tasha for the week.
Alex pulled into the drive taking caution to avoid looking next door. She stayed stuck in her seat. Unable to move. Torn between walking next door and walking into her own home. The two paths in front of her both with their pros and cons. Alex knew what she should do but fuck it, she was leaving. She had to see Piper. She stepped out of the SUV and headed towards the house next door.
"Don't even think about it Vause." Nicky called out as Alex froze in her tracks. She slowly turned to look at the shorter woman. "You think I was going to let you do this alone? Come on, let's get you packed." Nicky headed inside with Alex and Grimm to gather some belongings for the week and a good supply of alcohol. Grimm's crate wouldn't fit in Nicky's car so they took Alex's SUV to the safe house.
The ride to the safe house was tensely quiet. Nicky tried to casually bring up another difficult topic. "I'll cover for you with Eve until you decide what you want to do." Alex stared at Nicky incredulously. "Vause you can't just vanish, she'll call the police it will be a whole thing. I'll cover for you." Alex shook her head "No, don't do me any favors. I'll call her tonight. I'll end it. I've been meaning to for weeks anyway." Nicky sighed "You know you can't have your cell there." Alex threw her head back into the seat and exhaled. Could this day be any more fucked? "Fine. Pull over. I'll do it now."
"Vause.."
"Pull the fuck over Nichols." Alex's fists clinched and Nicky obliged not wanting to upset the woman further.
Nicky watched as Alex paced alongside the road. Alex's body was tense and it was obvious the breakup was not as clean as Alex had hoped it to be.
"Don't say a fucking word. Just drive." Alex ordered as she fell into the seat exhaling deeply, she threw her head back and ran a hand through her hair. Nicky started the SUV and turned up the radio before heading back onto the road.
After driving around aimlessly the blonde returned home and immediately stripped herself of her clothes trying to shed every reminder of what had happened. She grabbed a bottle of wine and headed for her bathroom ready to soak and drink away all of her feelings. She awoke hours later. The bathwater tepid and her mind still struggling to think of anything but Alex.
Piper was standing in a daze at the kitchen sink looking out the window at Alex's house when she heard him enter. Fuck. Shit. Piper had completely forgotten about Larry. Forgotten her husband. She ran to the refrigerator quickly pulling out random items to prepare dinner. Anything to cover the fact that she'd spent all day running from the truth. Running from what she'd known the moment she boarded that plane from Paris. Alex. It's always been Alex. No one would ever compare.
"Hey Pipes" Larry placed his hands on his wife's waist as he kissed her cheek.
"How was your first day?" Piper hoped her voice sounded as it should. Like a happy wife greeting her husband after a long first day.
"It was so great! The guys are great. My editor Mark wants us to come out for dinner in a couple of weeks." Piper nodded as he spoke and managed a few forced smiles that thankfully Larry was too excited to notice she was faking it. Nothing new there.
Piper managed to keep up appearances through dinner until Larry was ready for bed. Piper pretended to be reading promising she'd be up later. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in the bed with him. She couldn't bear to feel his hands roaming her body. The day had drained her. She woke up in the morning to Larry rubbing her shoulder. "Piper, baby, wake up."
It took the blonde a few seconds to remember how she was supposed to respond. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep on the couch."
Larry's face was soft as a thumb brushed under her eye and along her cheekbone. "Pipes, what's wrong?"
Piper pulled a weak smile "Nothing Lar, just tired."
"Piper, I can tell you've been crying. What's wrong? Did I do something?" Piper hated herself even more. This wasn't Larry's fault. He didn't deserve this.
"Of course not sweetie. I guess I just didn't realize how much I'd miss everyone."
Larry nodded understanding. "Soon enough you and Polly will be setting up shop and you'll get your routine back. Just enjoy a vacation." Larry smiled before placing a kiss atop Piper's nose. "I have to get going babe. We'll talk more tonight" Piper nodded and wished him a good day. Once Larry's car was out of sight Piper retreated to the bedroom closing the blinds and shutting out the world.
The days had dragged and Piper had not seen a light on at Alex's. She thought she'd heard the garage door a few times but never made it to the window in time to see her. On the fourth day a loud crash pulled Piper from her warm bed. She opened the blinds allowing sunlight into the darkened bedroom as she looked next door. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the light and then she spotted a brunette throwing a bag into the back of her car before storming back into the house. A hundred thoughts racing through her mind Piper clung to the fact that for the first time in days Alex's car was parked in the driveway.
Piper stepped off the porch set on walking next door when the noticeably furious brunette stormed back out of the house. Piper turned towards the mailbox pretending not to notice her. She heard the car door slam and the engine roar to life, she turned just in time to see the car speed away. Piper stalled a few minutes making sure no one was watching before she went next door. She tried turning the knob and was immediately thankful the angry brunette didn't lock the door.
"Alex?" Piper called as she entered the home. She called out a few more times and then noticed a letter on the kitchen counter.
Donna,
You're a fucking coward. You break up with me over the fucking phone. You haven't returned any of my messages and you can't even face me now. I had to find out from fucking Nicky that you skipped town. Whoever the bitch is I hope you'll both be miserable together. You deserve it.
Piper couldn't help but smile. Good riddance bitch. Immediately after the thought she focused on the words again. Skipped town. Alex was already being relocated. Piper began shaking her head as the fear set in. She quickly walked through the living room and down the hall where'd she'd seen Alex retreat the first time she was in the home.
She went upstairs and found Alex's bedroom. Clothes thrown around the room and dresser drawers left open by the brunette but that was the only sign of her existence. The room smelled like Alex. Driven by an overwhelming force Piper made her way to the bed. She allowed her fingers to skate across the pillow before burying her face in the soft cotton breathing in the scent. It was Alex. It was home.
When she looked up she noticed the picture on the nightstand facing the bed. It was a picture Piper had taken on their last day in Java, only printed in black and white. Alex's back to the camera, damp hair softly blown in the wind. Alex was sitting on the beach looking at the ocean lost in thought. It was there that she'd felt closer to Alex than ever before. A week on the beach alone. A week Alex had spent showing Piper how much she loved her. Then it hit her. After Java had been Brussels. She wondered now if Alex had been thinking in this moment what was to come. Then she realized yes. That night when they made love Alex had tears in her eyes when she whispered I love you. Then Piper's heart broke a little more knowing that Alex kept this picture. The first and last thing she probably looked at each day. A reminder of a choice she'd made and what she lost because of it. That was the beginning of the end for them.
Piper made her way into Alex's office looking for anything that would point her to Alex. She found a familiar lockbox in her desk and remembered the combination, the date they met. Inside she found a cell phone with no contacts, cash, some legal documents, and a USB drive. Quickly Piper turned on the computer and inserted the drive. Piper scanned through the files finding nothing that stood out before finding a locked file named NLMG. She immediately recognized it as the book they never finished, Never Let Me Go. She tried the same password as the lockbox and was in. There were scanned photos from Alex's childhood, Diane, Alex, and a lot of Piper and the two of them together. Piper had to force herself not to go through them. She finally found an address book and then Nicky's number and address. Without thinking she was copying the information down and putting everything back in its place.
"I brought lunch Vause" Nicky struggled to keep the pizza box out of Grimm's curious reach as she closed the door.
"You know, you don't have to come checkup on me every single fuckin day. What am I gonna do? You took my phone and my car, there's no internet, and no more fucking alcohol."
Nicky grinned as she set the pizza box on the counter. "Good to see you're in better spirits"
"Fuck off."
"I didn't even drive your car today. I'm in mine."
"First time all week. You've been rubbing it in."
Nicky laughed as she pulled a piece of pepperoni off a slice and fed it to Grimm. "If you behave I'll take you on a field trip to the gas station to get you your precious liquor."
A smirk returned to Alex's face for the first time in days. She grabbed a slice of pizza before walking away. "I better go get cleaned up if you're taking me out on the town."
Fuck. FUCK. Piper had called the number 4 times and continued to hear the same message "I'm sorry, the cellular customer you're trying to reach is out of the service area."
Piper slammed her phone down on the desk. She drummed her fingers along the smooth surface thinking when she heard the squeal of brakes outside. Piper cautiously approached the window suddenly fearing she'd set off some hidden alarm and the police had arrived to arrest her. Breaking and entering, stalking, way to go Chapman. Bloom. A FedEx truck had stopped across the street. Relived, Piper spun back around and caught sight of the key ring. Smiling like an idiot Piper grabbed the keys and hit the remote start. The SUV in the driveway came to life and Piper quickly retrieved her phone and the paper with Nicky's number and address before locking up and heading out.
Piper's hands shook as she typed the address into the navigation of Alex's SUV. Her thoughts raced, telling herself she should stop now take the car back and forget it all. She turned on the stereo to drown them out.
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
Oh the reason I hold on
Oh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
'Cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving
Piper wiped the tears beginning to run down her cheeks. There was no way she was turning back now.
After a short drive Piper arrived at her destination. Her white knuckle grip on the steering wheel finally loosened. She purposely approached the door and knocked twice then once more. A short brunette answered the door.
"Hello? Can I help you?" The woman with a thick accent spoke.
"Hi. Umm I'm looking for Nicky." Piper spoke quickly and tried to stop her hands from shaking.
The brunette furrowed her brows. "And how do you know my Nicky?"
"Uh well I'm really looking for her friend. Al- uh her friend Donna. I was hoping Nicky could help me find her. It's really really important."
Surprised at this the brunette spoke "Oh sweetie, I hate to be the one to tell you but Donna does this. She's not really the settling down type." The brunette whispered the last as if she was sharing gossip in a crowded room. "I'll let Nicky know you stopped by."
The brunette started to close the door and Piper put her foot in preventing the door from closing. "You didn't even get my name. Please. I'm begging you. I've tried calling but I can't reach her."
The alarm on the brunette's face faded when she caught sight of Donna's SUV in front of the house. "What did you say your name was?"
Piper exhaled "Piper. I'm an old friend. It's very important that I get in touch with her as soon as possible."
The brunette's eyes grew wide as soon as she heard the name and she opened the door pulling a shocked Piper inside. "I'm Lorna by the way."
Piper shook her hand and smiled. "Lorna thank you. Do you have a way to reach Nicky?"
Lorna ignored the question, too focused on her own. "You know, Donna is one of those guarded tough types but every once in a while when she's really drunk she talks about you."
Piper's eyes go wide and her heart catches.
"She only let your name slip once and made me swear never to tell Nicky but I always know when she's talking about you… and here you are. Did something happen? Is that why she's at the cabin?"
"Cabin?" Piper asked.
Lorna nodded "Nicky's got a place. Really nice but not so great cell reception. She went up to check on Donna this morning. She should be back tonight."
"Donna will be back?"
"Um I don't think so. Sounded like she might stay there for a while. Nicky will be back though."
"Lorna please. Please. I need to see her. Can you give me the address?" Piper's intense pleading eyes bore into the brunette.
"Nicky is real particular about that sweetie. I'm sworn to secrecy." Lorna offered an apologetic look.
Piper could feel her temper raging below the surface. She closed her eyes and clinched her fist before gritting out "Lorna" breathe "I really have to see her now. It's now or never and I really cannot spend the rest of my life regretting this any longer." Breathe "So please help me. I'm begging you. Please Lorna. I have to see her." Piper could feel her body trembling.
Lorna was a hopeless romantic and couldn't stand in the way of true love which is what she always felt this was when Donna had spoken of the blonde. "Alright, but you didn't get this from me."
Once Piper was in route to the cabin she took several deep breaths before calling Polly and was immediately sent to voicemail. Fuck. She tried the PoPi line next. Polly answered on the first ring.
"You're reading my thoughts. I was just going to call you but my phone is dead. I miss you Piper." Polly whined and laughed.
Piper chuckled but mostly due to her nerves "I've missed you too Polly. I wish you were here. So much has happened."
"Oh gossip? Already" Do tell!" Polly laughed again.
"Polly this is strictly best friend top secret okay?"
Polly almost squealed she was positive Piper was going to say she was pregnant. "I'm pinky swearing over here Piper. Tell me."
"I'm serious Polly. No one, not Pete and especially not Larry."
"Of course Piper come on, I'm dying here. Tell me." Polly was grinning anticipating the baby news.
Piper sighed heavily "Something happened and I need you to cover for me. I need you to say something happened with the business or something personal where you need your best friend and I need you to cover for me. I need you to say I'm staying with you. Just for the rest of the week. I should be back in a couple of days."
Polly was at a loss for words "Wha...what? What's going on Piper?"
"Polly you're my best friend, you're like my sister. I love you and I need you to do this for me. Please!"
"Piper! What the hell? You can't just expect me to lie. Are you in some kind of trouble? You're worrying me. What is it? Just tell me and I promise we'll work it out. You can't just say you're leaving and you need me to cover for you. Last time you asked me to do that you were running off with… oh god. Piper?"
"Pol, it's really complicated. I need this. You know I need this. Please. Please do this for me." Piper bit her lip as she waited for Polly to respond.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Supercunt is there!?"
"Polly I promise I will explain everything when I get back but something is happening and it's now or never and if I don't go I'll wonder what if for the rest of my life. It's been hard enough the last 8 years and you know that. I need this Pol. I'm sorry for putting you in this position but I know you'll understand and you'll help me because you love me…. Please?"
"Are you sure you know what you're doing? This is supercunt we're talking about Piper. And Larry? Are you really going to throw everything away for her?"
Piper had already considered her marriage and she decided to worry about the aftermath later. "Pol all I know is that if I don't do this I'll never get over it. I have to go. It's just a couple days at most. Alex doesn't even know I'm coming. Please Polly." Piper's voice cracked as she started to feel tears forming in her eyes.
Polly was silent for a moment before she spoke "I'll tell Larry it's a PoPi emergency. Pete is on a business trip so he won't know that you're not really here."
Piper smiled hugely "Thank you thank you thank you Pol! I will make it up to you"
"Yes you will. Be safe Piper. Call me if you need me. Day or night."
"I will. Thanks again Pol. I love you."
"I love you too you stupid lesbian. Be safe. Bye." Polly hung up and sighed running her hands through her hair. "I'm getting too old for this shit."
It was a 20 minute drive from the cabin to the nearest gas station. "Here's a twenty. Go wild" Nicky grinned. Alex rolled her eyes and took the bill before exiting the car. "You comin?" Alex asked before she shut the door. "Yeah one sec. I finally have a signal. I need to call Lorna. Don't say a word" Nicky warned. Alex just laughed and walked inside.
Nicky spoke as soon as she heard Lorna pick up "Hey hot stuff."
A hesitant Lorna answered "Hey, when are you coming home?"
Nicky tilted her head immediately picking up on the worried tone of Lorna's voice. "I plan on leaving soon. What's wrong?"
"Don't be mad"
Nicky rolled her eyes. Don't be mad always meant she'd be mad. "Morello, what is it?"
Lorna took a deep breath and exhaled everything "This blonde came asking for you. She was in Donna's SUV. She's the one you know, that girl Donna mentions. She was so desperate to see her. I couldn't-"
"What did you do Lorna?" Nicky's voice was unusually serious and it scared the brunette. "I…I gave her the address to the cabin."
Nicky threw her head into the seat's headrest and let out a frustrated huff of air. "I'm not mad at you. You didn't know any better but I really have to go now and try to clean up this mess." She hung up quickly ignoring the pleading on the other end of the line.
Nicky quickly pulled out her computer to begin tracing the GPS on Alex's SUV. Shit. Piper was already near the cabin. She went into the gas station and found Alex paying for a bottle of cheap bourbon. "We have to go. Now." Nicky turned and went to the car without further explanation.
Recognizing the look on the shorter woman's face, Alex was now close at her heels. "What's wrong?"
Before Nicky could speak a crack of thunder broke through the sky. Black clouds were rolling in. Fucking perfect. "Piper. She's on her way."
Alex's eyes widened and she almost dropped the bag in her hand. "How?"
"She took your car and found Lorna who didn't know what the fuck she was doing when she gave her the address."
Halfway to the cabin Nicky's phone began ringing. She answered without checking the caller id.
"Nichols"
Alex watched as Nicky immediately stiffened. She mouthed 'what' but was ignored.
"When"
"How far out?"
Nicky ended the call and tightened her grip on the wheel and pressed on the gas pedal more. Alex was getting uncomfortable with the extremely serious state of the woman behind the wheel "You want to tell me what's going on?" Nicky didn't say anything which only increased Alex's worry. "Nichols if you don't tell me what the fuck is going-"
"Facial recognition software flagged Kubra at O'Hare this morning. They didn't catch it in time." The chill shot through Alex's bones. "We think he's kept an eye on Bloom and that's how he found you. He knows where you are and if his people found your identity they found your car. Which means they can track the GPS and know your car has been coming here every day for the last week. Your car is on the move here again and they know where it's headed. His alias was flagged at a rental car company. GPS puts him in the area. There's ground support and an air unit on the way."
"Call her!" Alex shouted.
"I'm trying. This storm is making the shitty reception worse." Nicky tossed the phone to Alex. "Keep trying."
The wind was blowing the rain so hard Piper could barely see the road in front of her. The navigation didn't seem to be working and the winding roads and thick trees weren't helping the situation. She caught a flash of lightning to her left and narrowly avoided the tree branch that fell. She kept driving and didn't spot the cabin. Eventually the trees cleared out and Piper found herself in a small town. Shit. Fucking shitty navigation. Piper stopped in front of a small post office and went in to ask directions. She pulled on the door finding it locked and a small 'out for lunch' sign taped to the inside glass. Piper ran back to the car and tried calling Nicky again.
"Look out!" Alex yelled and braced herself for an impact. The car skidded and crashed into the tree limb blocking the road.
"FUCK! You alright?" Alex nodded. "Stay put." Nicky exited the car to inspect the damage. The front bumper was barely hanging on but other than that the car was in good shape. She kicked the dangling fiberglass off and got back in the car. Completely soaked from the rain. Nicky started the car just as her phone began ringing.
"Piper?" Alex asked breathlessly as she answered the phone on the first ring. Her heart pounding rapidly in her chest.
"Alex?"
"Piper where are you?" Alex put the phone on speaker.
"Alex" Piper smiled so happy to hear her voice. It sounded different on the phone and Piper was realizing how much she'd missed the sound. "I'm here. Well I'm trying to get to you. I'm having trouble finding the cabin in this storm. I ended up in some small town-"
"Where in the town Piper?"
"I just stopped in front of this little post office. I was going to ask for directions-"
"Stay put. We're on our way."
"Okay. I- I'm in your SUV."
Despite all of the fear Alex smiled hearing the guilty voice on the line. Piper had tracked her down, stolen her car, and risked everything to see her. "Pipes I don't care about that. Well, not the way you think." Alex smirked "You stole a car to get to me."
Piper laughed and relaxed some. "Try not to sound so smug about it. I'm guessing Lorna told Nicky?"
"Yeah. Piper-"
"Alex I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-"
"Piper stop. It's not important right now."
"Are you close?"
"We're turning onto Main Street now."
"I see you" Piper said excitedly "Well, the car."
Alex chuckled "I'm hanging up now. See ya in a minute kid."
"Bye" Piper's smile grew as Nicky's car got closer. Only a few blocks away.
The storm raged on. Pounding rain and rumbling thunder vibrated through the car. The storm had made the small town seem even more like a ghost town. As if just to be wickedly cruel Nicky actually stopped at the 4 way stop. Just across from Piper. Alex couldn't see her face but felt Piper smiling just as she was. She focused on the driver's side of the window hoping to spot a flash of her megawatt smile when her view was obstructed by a black sedan.
Time froze as three shots rang out over the thunder and the car sped away. Alex's blood was fire in her veins. The dread and agony engulfing her. She tried to yell but fear swallowed her voice. Her legs were heavy as she ran to the car. Her eyes focused on the 3 bullet holes in the windshield. "No..." Alex's voice was foreign to her own ears. As she got closer she saw blood splatter on the glass. "NO!" It came out more forceful as if she could will this to not be real. Alex pulled open the door. Piper's lifeless bloody body folded into her and Alex fell to the pavement, holding Piper in her arms. "No! No! Oh God! Piper. Pipes. Please." Alex was rocking back and forth and wiped the blood from Piper's face. Her anguished screams rising above the thunder in the sky. "Pipes please, please stay with me." Alex pressed her forehead to Piper's and continued rocking. "Please. I love you. Please Pipes." Piper's eyes remained closed and her body lifeless. Alex's primal scream shook Nicky to her core. The devastation and agony of Alex's cries were something she'd hear for the rest of her life. She could only stand and watch helplessly as the rain washed away the blood.
A/N: Don't hate me. Thanks for the reviews and favs/follows. Hopefully they don't stop now. Some review shout outs below.
Anna: First review thank you :) You should expect an update everyday.
: I hope you're still enjoying
LOVEEEEE Guest: I hope you still loveeeee the storyy
FFChik: Thanks
Mielsita: Hope it was rough in the good sense. Thanks for the compliment :)
Guest 99: Thank you. I can't wait for S3 to learn more about canon back story for Alex.
Cajole: I hope you stick around and like where things go. Title is also 100% from Florence & the machine. I was listening to her a ton while writing this. Just happens to be one of their songs and a book title and kinda fitting for both of them never letting go.
Sue: Thank you!
Sway594: Thank you! Hope you're still wrapped up in it.
toesareoverrated: Thank you very much. Donna was a completely unoriginal name choice pulling from That 70s Show. Red hair. I couldn't think of anything else. Tested a few other names and didn't like them.
Guest shocked by another guest: Thanks for understanding :)
Guest1: I definitely won't be writing any Stella stories. Vauseman is endgame (maybe not in this particular fic but for the show)
Guest who likes Alex looking like Donna: I'm glad you enjoy it. She needed to not look like Alex and while Laura has been blonde for a long time I don't think Alex would do it. It'd remind her of Piper too much.
Guest who likes Grimm: Thank you! I'm so glad someone likes Grimm. I didn't go into too much detail but I wanted Alex to have someone she could really open up with. Obviously she's kept things from Nicky. Grimm seemed like a realistic way to get Alex out in the world again and also was someone she could open up to. Yes I consider Grimm a who not a what.
Poor babes guest: Thank you. Thank you. :)