*From the Desk of Miss go lightly:

So, so far, this has received four reviews. Well...splendid, I suppose, giving to the fact that I composed it in, roughly, fifteen minutes. Quite dear. I do encourage more reviews. Pardon my grammar and spelling, which has been defined as not resembling modern vernacular. Oh well. Ooh, crumpets......

Chapter Two

Lo-Lo La!

Jove was amiably strolling down the corridor to the teacher's quarters, cleanly categorized texts clasped in his arms, trademarked modest beam on his well-creased and careworn countenance. It was after supper, the period of time in which he felt most content with himself.

Entering through the jade, gilt-flecked threshold towards the room, he complied with the portrait of the youthful, sun-dappled lad that was Merlin by articulating the password that would allow him to enter the lounge. "Gin and tonic."

The portrait furrowed its fair eyebrows at him, the broad forehead crinkling. "I'm sorry, attempt again."

"Oh! Well, that's what I'm sure it was. What I'm sure it ought to be. Um...oh, dear, Crisped Clinking?"

"Let's begin again, sir....."

"It's Brine Rib," a drawl behind him informed him.

Jove swiveled about, the beam lightening considerably. "Severus, my good companion! How very good to see you, how was your summer? I do remember you confessing to visiting your parents in Wales."

It was true, Severus was a very cherished friend. Though they differed drastically (in height, demeanors, qualms on instructing, overall lifestyles) they were truly very close. He was somewhat of a son to Jove, who recalled very fondly instructing Severus through his truly gauche years as an adolescent. Now, at the age of thirty-six, Snape bore no resemblance to the ungainly lad who stumbled along, staggering on his exceedingly lengthy and lean legs like a sneering, malnourished crane and hissing at the schoolgirls that tittered at his utter gawkiness.

But socially and tactfully, Jove admitted that the man was no different and far from a ladies charmer. Oh well. Severus was dexterous and smart, but hapless love-wise.

"Yes, I did visit my kin in Wales." Severus dutifully relieved Jove of a great deal of the cumbersome volumes in his arms and waited humbly for Jove to enter the quarters before him. "And it was another farcical scheme to wed me off."

"Oh, dear," Jove sighed. "They try so hard for you. My family's candidly given up. Anyhow, who was it this time?"

"Some horribly fleshy wench called Sirena Dukoff. Ugh. I narrowly recuperated."

Jove grinned.

"Honestly! Where can a man find a woman with a sensible name nowadays? It's always 'Florantine' or 'Calypso' or 'Khrystle' or something quite odd. I haven't caught sight of a 'Bridget' or 'Lucy' in a decade. Or at least not one in her thirties."

The teachers' lounge was balmy and sweet-scented, due to the ivory tea pots circulating among the genuinely appreciative and thoroughly haggard teachers, who even took to patting the little House Elf (Twigchig) on the soft flesh between his domed ears as he dutifully held out a cherry wood briefcase of tea bags to each of the teachers.

"Oh, how thoughtful!" the easily-enchanted Jove exclaimed. "That was such a dear little thing to do, provide the teachers with tea. Don't you think, Severus?"

"I'd rather have vodka," he returned dryly, but he exchanged a solid smile with Jove before taking the proffered pot from Sybil Trelwalny's hennaed fingertips and filling two periwinkle-tinted cups to the brim with the scorching water, which made Jove's poorly circulated fingers buzz pleasantly.

"Jove."

Drat, drat, and drat once more. Why must the single person he hated above all others in the human race plague him incessantly?

"Why, helloooooo, Minerva!" he drawled with feigned chirpiness that made Severus's vacant ebony eyes glint with mirth as he battled to keep sampling his beverage with indifference without gulping down the searing water in a guffaw. "How preeeeeetty you look in those new speeeeeeectacles. How aaaaaaaaaare you, my dear?"

Now there was a sublime example of a specimen that did not age well: Minerva McGonnogal. Even in her youth (whenever Jove surmised that was...perhaps around the birth of Christ, perhaps?), she'd looked masculine and featureless. Now, at an age in the same field as Jove and Reubus's, she looked astoundingly repulsive, like a slab of poor wood or a tattered leather wallet.

"Fine, fine," was the brusque reply. Keep on lapping up that mint tea, Jove thought airily, you still smell as if you ate a pie baked in sulfur. Minerva then eyed Severus in a less than mannerly way that made the man's eyes dilated in horror as he set down his cup with a disturbed clink. "And you, Severus?"

Oh dear. Jove would have personally stapled his eyelids closed than to have Minerva McGonnogal fancy him. Candidly, a similar empathetic notion was coursing through Severus's skull, Jove could almost tangibly sense it. "I'm in a relationship," he informed her curtly.

"That's good."

Hmm. Obviously courting qualms held no value to Minerva. Jove pursed his lips together to smother a snicker. Poor boy.

"I had hoped that the heads of the Houses," Minerva continued, "could have a meeting soon, don't you think? I see the practicality in such a doing."

"Why most ceeeeeertainly, Minerva!" Jove boomed, tickled to see the startled look on Minerva's hawk countenance. She'd obviously not been inquiring of him, and had most likely even forgotten his presence. No matter. Retaliation was sweet. "It'd be such a daaaaarling idea, Minnie! Oh, do ask Sprout, darling, she's over there and I think she's leaving soon. I wouldn't want heeeeeeer to not hear of it. Why not pose the question to heeeer? You girls are so fabulous at planning, we men would simply snarl it up. Tut tut, run along now."

Minerva looked unnerved. "But---"

"Tut tut."

"But---"

"Overtly, the first four 'tut tuts' weren't sufficient." Jove grinned maliciously. "Pleasant night, then. Come along, Severus."

They left a gawping Minerva, who was now being approached but a befuddled Sprout who demanded who had called her name, and guided Severus back into the main corridor.

"I owe you a sincere debt of gratitude," Severus hissed, eyeing the doorway in a leery manner, lest Minerva should follow him. "It wouldn't be quite so disturbing, had the woman not taught me when I was a pupil here. Ugh. Disturbing."

" 'Twas an honor," Jove beamed sincerely.

"Listen, it's only eight o'clock and I'm aching to get out of this filthy school. I know of a pub not too much of a distance from here---"

"Frankly, I'd enjoy that, but----"

"Come on, now. Varied assortment of females. Even specimens of your stature."

"I resent that."

"Jove, you know what I meant." There was a faint trace of eagerness and entreaty in his tone. "I haven't clinked glasses with a decent woman since June, and that is a truly pitiful fact."

"I'd love to, but I have a meeting with my accountant."

Severus's broad, widow's peak forehead crinkled. "So late in the evening?"

"It's the only time of day she can see me."

"'She'?" Severus echoed puckishly.

"My niece," Jove informed him a tad irritably.

"Wendy? That lass that so highly resembles a palomino pony in photographs?"

"Don't be unkind." Jove swatted him mildly. "We can't have everything."

"She's living proof."

Before Jove could part his lips to upbraid him, Minerva flounced through the portal and smiled thinly at Severus, who strangled a squeal at the sight of her.

"Night, then!" Jove called lightheartedly, almost trotting down the corridor as he warbled in a tone loud enough for Severus alone to find audible:

Although my strength is lacking,

Although my skin is fair,

I have in my arms a scraggly wench

With a bun of slick gray hair.

And though I neither add nor spell

And though I own no bed,

My wench is pleased in my presence

Though age has turned her red.

Hi hi! Diddle-hi ho!

She's old and tough and dour.

Hi hi! Diddle-hi ho!

Her breath's forever sour.

Hi hi! Diddle-hi ho!

If I were a man of money

Hi hi! Diddle-hi ho!

I'd find another honey.

Lo-lo la!

I'd find another honey.

What great fortune he'd grown up with an quarter-dwarf grand-aunt and an Elfin nursemaid. Life through song was so much more amusing.....

*The song is very sucky, but I wrote it really quickly and attempted to make it a la Tolkein and failed miserably. Heheh! More McGonnogal bashing. I hate her.