Getting a little alone time, or rather together time, was almost impossible in a rock n' roll band on the road. Smoldering looks and discreet gestures, the occasional brushing of arms or the stroking of legs beneath a communal table their only interaction. It was driving them both out their minds though they continued as normal. Sanzo as sullen and forbidding as ever. Gojyo incorrigible, hitting on even more fans than usual if that was possible.
The priest didn't resent the kappa's 'working with the fan base' as he referred to it. He knew it meant nothing, he'd felt the mans breath on his face, had seen the look deep in his eyes and felt the love in his touch. He knew nothing the red head did with the groupies would take away from what they had together. Then again the fact that Gojyo knew this to be true in a way that gave him the 'cat that got the cream look' was slightly annoying.
Since Sanzo and Gojyo's first encounter the band had moved through several venues but they were keeping a tight schedule and had failed to spend more than a single night in any location. Long days were spent on the road, albeit in the luxury of their tour bus. The normally tolerable company of Hakkai and Goku becoming more of a strain with every passing hour. They both knew what had they had was worth waiting for but it didn't make it any easier.
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Sanzo stared at his face in the bathroom mirror. The tired circles beneath his eyes were fading, he'd been sleeping much better since his discussion and…'quality time' spent with the damn cockroach. He turned on the tap but froze when he heard a knock on the door. 'Get lost, if the room were free the door would be open moron.' Sanzo knew his voice had easily carried through the thin wood but seconds later the knocking resumed. 'Whoever's out there must really want to become a corpse.' The knocking came again and this time the priest switched off the water and turned to open the door and see who actually had a death wish.
As soon as he'd slid the lock back the door was forcefully pushed open and a tall figure slid round through the gap, immediately shutting the door behind him. Sanzo's anger cooled only a little when he realized it was Gojyo who'd disturbed his ablutions. 'You seemed to be taking an awfully long time in here, thought you might want a hand, maybe someone to scrub your back?' smirked the demon.
'You fool!' hissed the monk angrily 'Hakkai and Goku are just next door, don't you think they might wonder where we both are?' At this point the kappa's smirk broke into a full blown self-satisfied grin.
'Told them I was going out for smokes, even went and banged the apartment door so they'd hear me leave. I can be very quiet when I need to' The priest sighed, sure there was probably some flaw with Gojyo's thinking but unable to see it right now, more concerned with the sight of the part youkai's bare flesh as he slowly stripped.
'Fancy a shower? I don't know about you but I get really hot on stage.'
'I'd say you're pretty hot all the time.' Gojyo paused in his little strip tease, amazed that such a comment had passed the monks lips. Ahh his lips, the priest had such a sexy mouth, those full lips always pressed together, set in a line of seeming distaste, distrust or disgust. Pretty much any 'dis' when it came down to it. Those lips were just begging for some attention. Gojyo leaned forward, pressing his naked torso against that of the shivering monk, raising his arm to push his fingers through the bright gold of Sanzo's hair. He pressed their lips together eliciting a small sigh from the blonde who swiftly opened his mouth to Gojyo.
They broke apart and the red head lent to the side to whisper in a shell like ear, his voice thick with lust. 'I'm gonna fuck you hard and fast against the wall, any objections?' Sanzo's lips curled up in a slight smirk.
'You better make a damn good job of it'
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Sanzo accepted one final kiss that tasted of cigarettes and Gojyo before he opened the door and slipped out the shower. The two men dried themselves in silence and swiftly dressed. 'I'll go first' whispered Gojyo, his voice still sounding impossibly loud after the heavy hiss of the water. 'I'll slip out the apartment then make a fuss coming in.' Sanzo nodded, his stomach knotting in apprehension as he watched the red head leave.
He couldn't imagine the excuses he'd make to Hakkai and particularly Goku who so looked up to him if they were discovered. Hell he didn't even know the excuses he made to himself in order to get round the sordidness of what he did with the stupid cockroach. Then again it felt so right. When he wasn't with Gojyo he felt dead. As if when he'd looked down that dark tunnel of his gun barrel some part of him had been killed, like he lived now only for what he had with Gojyo. And even in his state Sanzo knew there was something terrible and dangerous about being so consumed and lost in another.
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Sanzo sauntered into the main room of the hotel apartment, still rubbing his damp hair with a towel. Gojyo was already sprawled on the couch, a cigarette dangling from his lower lip. Sanzo sat stiffly at the table, sliding a Marlboro from his pack and lighting up, savoring the first bitter taste.
He carefully observed Hakkai but could see nothing in the other mans expression that suggested he suspected a single thing. As far as he was concerned Gojyo had been out buying Hi-lites, the proof of which he was now smoking. For once Sanzo was pleased by the rain that served this time not to depress him but to excuse Gojyo's straggling wet hair. It also dulled Hakkai's senses as he was locked in his own memories, paying little heed to the affairs of those around him.
Sanzo relaxed, picking up the days paper he flicked idly through it, keeping half an eye on the kappa. Damn he looked hot with a cigarette hanging from his lips like that. Gojyo caught him in the act and smiled slightly putting all the more effort into smoking his stick with as much style and appeal as he could muster and he knew that to be quite a lot. Sanzo flicked his paper irritably and blocked that smile from his mind. When they got to the next town he'd have to have a word with Gojyo, something he was certainly looking forward to doing.
XXXXX
It was almost half two in the morning and Sanzo couldn't sleep. His thoughts were a mess, half formed ideas and imaginings tumbling over each other in a frenzy that refused to give him peace. Gojyo was at the centre of almost all of those thoughts, of all those questions. Why did the stupid pervy water sprite continue their relationship? What was in it for him? He could have any woman on the planet and probably most men so why him?
The red head was undeniably a beautiful man, inside and out. His personality was raw but it was that energy that made him so alluring, so vivid, that made all others pale in significance to a boring shade of grey. Beneath his coarse behavior and lewd actions there was a heart of gold, to use a jaded expression. Gojyo was fiercely loyal and would die protecting something that mattered to him. Personality and heart aside his handsome angular face, fiery hair and eyes and lean muscled body were surely enough of a lure for any mortal. And then there was the way he fucked. Sanzo appreciated his opinion might be a little biased but even so.
He rolled over, pulling the bed clothes higher round his neck with a sigh. Sha Gojyo was amazing, why the hell was he kicking around with some mentally screwed priest. Sanzo had never really been able to see his own beauty. He saw his hair as blonde not gold. His eyes were unusual but was purple really a colour suited to a man? Sure he kept in shape but so did an awful lot of other men. Only through the admiring glances of others had he learnt to appreciate his own looks but he knew he was a shell, empty. His eyes reflected so little of his soul, his mouth gave away so little of what he was thinking, he seemed so often to be emotionally dead.
There was the anger, he smiled ruefully, people always noticed the anger. Anger at a past that had twisted his future so badly he could barely see the road. In Sanzo's view it wasn't he who was the golden sun, but Gojyo. A fiery sun that showed him a road he couldn't find on his own and that he'd found certainly didn't lie at the bottom of a bottle. He saw no reason why Gojyo should accompany him on the dark path through his soul, he wouldn't wish that on anyone.
He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew what he had to do, it was going to be hard but for the first time in a long time he found himself caring about someone enough to sacrifice everything. He had to give up Gojyo, not give him up but rather let him go. He couldn't chain such a wild spirit to his own, it was wrong and he wouldn't drag such a beautiful soul down with him. Sanzo had never been under any illusion of his path, it had always been a descent since that day when his master had died, hell probably before that time.
Some people had seen in his eyes a demon, others an angel. Sanzo had often thought on this in the dark hours of the night, he alone knew what he truly was. A falling angel, a true demon, his fall had been the fall of a lifetime and when it ended he wasn't taking out anyone else with him. From the day he was born til the day he died, the only side he'd be on was his own. And his side was a one man team.