Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Chicago PD.

A/N: Wow. Thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm blown away. I've had a really long and stressful day at work but wanted to get this up for you. I haven't really proof read it so hopefully it's okay.

You may recognise some lines, I like to throw some Chicago PD lines in there. Also, I mentioned Burgess and Ruzek last chapter because it really annoyed me Season 2 how Hank would pardon them and Not Erin and Jay. When let's face it, we know who the more professional and solid couple is... okay I'm done talking now lol

Enjoy :-)

What If… Part 2

My smile is glued to my face all the way home, both because I know Hank approves of my choice and also because the man who makes me happiest is waiting for me.

The man I love is at home waiting for me.

My keys enter the lock on my apartment door and I enter quietly, I stand there and watch as Jay sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands.

He then stands back up and runs a hand through his already disheveled hair as he begins pacing in front of the TV. His hands go in his pockets and he's shaking his head.

I can't help but giggle as he anxiously removes his hands from the confines of his pockets and runs them back through his hair before sitting down on the couch again.

His head snaps around to look at me and he pushes back off the couch.

I approach him with a smile on my face and reach up with one hand to run it through his hair to smooth it out. His body is rigid and his hands are on his hips.

When I see his eyes searching my face for some sort of clue I drop my hand to caress his cheek. He automatically leans into it and places a kiss on my wrist.

I feel his body relax as his hands drop from his hips to mine and pulls me against him gently.

Our eyes connect and he pulls me in for a searing kiss, it's only been 24 hours since we ended things but it feels like months. His kisses are desperate and burning, almost like he's trying to capture this moment to remember forever, making the most of this time before I push him away again.

My hands wrap around his neck and his circle my waist as our bodies are pulled flush against the others. His tongue slips into my mouth and I welcome him eagerly as my back arches.

When we finally pull apart we are breathing heavily and I keep my eyes closed savoring the moment.

I feel Jay's body become rigid again and he takes a step back as my eyes fly open.

"Relax, Jay." I whisper as I take a step towards him.

"I can't. I haven't been able to turn my thoughts off." His hand runs back through his hair and all I want to do in this moment is take him to bed.

"I would think these kisses tonight are pretty clear." His eyes are vulnerable and he raises an eyebrow in that adorable way of his.

"The possibilities are endless Erin, I know this could go any way." My heart aches at his admission.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and my voice cracks as tears spring to my eyes.

Jay just nods as he blinks back his own tears before sighing loudly; he takes a step around me and makes his way to the door.

A tear slips down my cheek and I stand here shell-shocked.

'"Jay." My voice is desperate and I whip around to see his back to me and hand on the door knob.

I can't let him walk out that door, if he does he maybe walking out of my life for good.

"It's okay Erin, I understand."

"No, you don't." We stand there in silence until he turns around to face me.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away last night… for always pushing you away. I'm sorry I've kept you at a distance and I'm sorry that you have been here freaking out all night. Most of all I'm sorry for giving you reason to worry about what I'm going to say to you."

"Erin, what are you saying?" His voice is hopeful as he closes the distance between us.

"Isn't it obvious you idiot? Don't get stupid on me now Jay." He cracks a smile as I smirk and raise an eyebrow.

"No. You're good at undercover." I chuckle and roll my eyes.

"You mean lying, then yeah. I'm very good at hiding my feelings. I'll give you that."

Jay has a matching smirk on his face and I fall more in love with him.

"Last night I freaked out, I didn't want to disappoint Hank but more importantly I was terrified of ruining us somewhere down the line. So I used Hank as an excuse to run away. I'm not good at relationships but you make me want to try anyway." Jay is patiently waiting for me to gather my thoughts and finish.

"Last night, I couldn't sleep. I just kept wishing you were next to me and it hit me. That's how it was going to be now. We would work together and sure, maybe we would still be able to hang out friends but we wouldn't be coming home together. You wouldn't be holding me in your arms anymore. So I decided to tell Hank and take the consequences." I take a deep breath and blink back tears.

"But I just had to know if this was still a possibility before I quite possibly ruined my relationship with Hank or let my career take a hit. Turns out I didn't ruin us."

"Erin…" He whispers my name as his hands find my waist and my hands rest on his biceps.

"What did Hank say? Am I being transferred? Are you? Are we both?" Jay's questions hit me in quick succession.

"No." A gentle smile is on my face as I step forward so our bodies are touching again.

I press a kiss to the corner of his lips and his tug up in a smile.

"Is your relationship with Hank in trouble?"

"No." His lips are in a full smile now.

"Are you sure about this Erin?"

"What? You don't want it?" All my insecurities from my whole life come rushing back. Everyone always leaves.

I never thought Jay would.

"What? No. Of course I want this Erin. More than I've wanted anything in my entire life. But what about Hank?"

"Don't worry about Hank, he's okay."

"You owe him your life Erin, I owe him your life. My life even… because he bought you to me and the moment I met you changed my life."

"Hanks okay with it Jay." I repeat again.

"Are you sure? Because I can live with the promise of one day. I just need to have you in my life, even if it's just as a partner and friend."

"Wouldn't you rather have me as a partner and girlfriend?" His eyes widen and I know I've shocked him.

This past month we have been together without a label. I know he's never mentioned the word girlfriend to keep me from pulling away.

"Well I mean if that's an option…" I smile up at him and lean up to capture his lips in a kiss full of longing and love.

"Truthfully Jay, I don't want to live with the possibility of 'one day' hanging over us. We might not get a 'one day' with our jobs… who knows what's going to happen. I would rather have this now then hoping for one day. I don't want to leave this world without having loved you and been loved by you. I don't want to hold off telling you I love you until it's too late. Because I do love you, I'm completely in love with you Jay. There isn't going to be anyone else for me."

Jay's lips fuse with mine and his hands wrap around my waist, his kisses are long and deep. He pulls away, our lips still touching and I look into his blue eyes which are sparkling in relief and happiness.

"God, I love you too Erin. More than you can know." His lips are on mine again and his tongue slips into my mouth.

"Oh, I think I have any idea." My words are muffled between kisses and Jay starts backing me towards my bedroom.

"You know how I know Hanks okay with this?" I barely manage to get out, however this peaks his interest and Jay pulls away to stare at me waiting for me answer.

"He said he would be happy to welcome you into the family one day." My eyebrow is raised again and I'm smirking at Jay whose mouth is hanging open.

"I don't know if I'm more shocked he said that or that you're not running away at the idea of marriage."

"Oh I would totally run away from the idea of marriage… unless it was with you." I whisper the last words, my voice huskier than usual filled with love and lust for the man standing before me.

I giggle as his hands slide down over my ass and lift me up without effort.

My legs wrap around his waist and my arms around his neck, my hands pulling through his messy hair as he continues his way to the bedroom.

He gently places me on the bed before removing my shoes and throwing them to the floor, he toes out of his own shoes before climbing on top of me.

"You mean the world to me Erin Lindsay." He places another kiss on my lips before trailing down my neck.

"Thank you for not running away." His whispers into the crook of my neck.

"I'm done running. I'm finally home."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed, please let me know your thoughts.

Someone mentioned maybe a chapter of Hank having a chat to Jay ;-) Let me know how many want to see that and I'll try to whip something up. Otherwise if you have any requests you want to see juts let me know.

Thank you for reading :)