Oh sorry forgot to mention, I don't own Naruto or MLP FIM but I do own my character Sam and no you cant have him :3
My not so little ninja me
Chapter two – Getting started
I woke up with a yelp and hit my head on the branch on top of me, making me curse and groan in pain. I had climbed up the tallest tree I could find in the Everfree Forest and fell asleep on a big branch.
With a groan, I started to stretch lightly, taking care to not reopen my wounds. After that, I started to look around a little from my position.
"Hmm, I could use a bath," I said. I noticed a river not far from the tree I was in. Of course. I looked around to make sure that there wasn't any dangerous fuckers around before climbing down to the ground.
When my feet hit the ground, I sighed in relief and started to trek in the direction where I saw the river, while holding my right hand loosely on top of the hilt of my katana, just in case.
It took about 10 minutes to get to the river. I had to check my surroundings again, never knew what the hell you could find in this forest. I wouldn't be surprised if a Pikachu jumped out of the bushes and zapped me silly.
With a little laugh at my stupid thoughts, I took off my clothes and stepped down into the cold water. It was surprisingly clean for a river. I've never seen such clear and pure looking water in my world except for bottled water in the stores.
I sighed deeply, trying to relax before starting to wash myself off gently to make sure I didn't open the wounds. Maybe I could use chakra and try to do some medical ninjutsu, but that shit probably need so much control that I didn't have a chance in hell to make it work. Besides, I should save my chakra until I'm sure I'm safe. Never know when I might really need it.
It took me about half an hour to get myself clean and get back into my clothes. Suddenly, I felt something fall from my pocket to the ground and, to my surprise, it was the metal case where I held my smokes for emergency cases.
"Well, fuck me sideways," I said, picking it up and opening it to see that it was full, 20 sticks of cancer, ready to make your day better and your lungs blacker.
With a small laugh, I took a smoke and put it between my lips while closing the case, and returning it to my pocket. I looked up for my zippo lighter and, lucky me, it was still in my pocket. What a lucky day for me, I thought while lighting my smoke and taking a big inhale.
After few seconds, I released the smoke with a relieved sigh and started to look in my pockets for other stuff.
"Well let's see, smokes and zippo, keys which I don't have any use for anymore, my Zte blade android phone which has no power, damn. Probably wouldn't even be able to use it here. My wallet, I wonder if they accept visa here. That would be awesome, but no, they have bits and magic. Screw you, logic," I said while tossing some empty candy wrappers on the ground I found in my pocket.
After that little silly moment, I took the last inhale from my smoke before stomping it on the ground under my boot.
"So, what's next? Hmm…" I asked myself starting to think, but once again, I was interrupted.
"Such a strange creature, making smoke and talking to the forest," said the ever cryptic voice I knew so well, which made me fall on the ground and then jump back up in front of the hooded Zebra, pointing my finger at her accusingly.
"Geez, you almost gave me an heart attack, you..." I almost cursed at the Zebra, making me cringe and lower my finger. Damn, Equestria and their pure fuck.
She was opening her mouth again to speak, but I put my hand in front of her muzzle.
"Please no more that cryptic stuff, it makes my head hurt. Just please speak normally," I said, trying to give her my largest puppy eyes. Seriously, this is ridiculous, I thought.
"Very well, I just like using it to confuse everypony, and have some fun at the same time," Zecora said, smiling which made me sweat drop. Seriously, I was this close to sing Pinkie Pies evil enchantress song with the low voice Fluttershy had in that episode.
"... Thanks... Name's Sam, by the way," I said, giving her a huge smile, extending my right hand at her. She looked at it curiously before laying her left hoof in it for a shake.
"I'm Zecora, resident Zebra of the Everfree Forest," she said. I let her hoof go. "What are you doing here anyway? And just what kind of creature are you? I haven't seen your kind here before," she asked, making me groan. Suddenly I had an idea. Thank you, Kakashi, you lazy bastard.
"I'm a creature called human and I'm..." I said, stretching the last sentence. I could see her leaning little forward to hear what I was going to say. "Lost in the road of life." I finished with a Kakashi styled smile, making the Zebra fall muzzle first on the ground. Take that, you Zebra bastard, I said, laughing in my mind.
"Alright then, human called Sam, would like to have a cup of tea? The road you walk is indeed a long one," she said, grinning before turning around and starting to walk to her home. I cursed the damn Zebra and her trickery. I almost pulled a Gai move on her, but decided to just go with the flow and follow her.
"Sure, by the way, why aren't you scared of me?" I asked while we walked through the forest.
"Simple, you talk," she said, giving me a grin making me face palm and groan at the witty Zebra.
"That's it. Because I can talk? Geez, you are troublesome, Zebra, you know that?" I said, jumping over a log and crossing my arms over my chest.
"Yes, most of the creatures here are dangerous, but the ones who talk don't attack without a reason, so I always talk to the creature first before doing anything stupid," she said. I felt like she was lecturing me like I was a little filly. Fuck that. Seriously, I'm 24 years old and little over 6 feet tall for fucks sakes. I'm not some snot nosed brat anymore, well, maybe sometimes, but I can't help it.
"We are here," she said suddenly.
We stopped in front of a wooden hut, just like in the series. It was made from wood with all this voodoo stuff around. Seriously?
"Come, let us have some tea, and you can tell me about this road of life you are traveling," Zecora said, making me groan. She seriously believed the shit I was spitting out.
With a sigh, I walked through the open door after her, making sure to crouch so I wouldn't hit my head or anything. Seriously, I hate being so tall sometimes. I have lost the count how many times I've hit my head on something. But, the sight that greeted me made me sweat drop. Zecora had tossed her long coat way and was making the tea in front of me, her ass pointed at my direction, giving me too much information.
With a sweat drop, I shut the door, walked in front of the Zebra and sat down on the floor, crossing my legs. This place had some real things in it too, but I wouldn't have been surprised if the fillies were made by magic. Seriously, I'm getting some dirty images here. Better change the topic before it gets too kinky.
"Nice digs you have here, Ms. Z. I can really feel some serious fengshui here," I said, grinning at the Zebra, who looked at me amused, making me chuckle. I would be surprised if she understood even half of what I said.
"Why, thank you, Sam. It took some time to make it perfect to get the right feeling in here," she said, grinning. I sweat dropped. This Zebra was something else.
"Troublesome," I muttered, taking a wooden bowl, that was filled with some kind of purple liquid, from her. Maybe it was the tea she made earlier. I took a careful sip and almost had a fucking orgasm in my mouth. This shit was the most delicious blueberry tea I had ever tasted.
"God damn, Ms. Z, this stuff is something else. Where did you get this stuff?" I asked, looking at her smiling face. Damn these ponies.
"From the herbs and berries of the forest. I made that stuff, you like so much," Zecora said, making me laugh hard, but wince suddenly, holding my side because it hurt like hell. Damn those ribs.
"You are hurt, let me see them. I may be able to brew a potion to heal them," she said, walking closer to me. I sighed and lowered the cup on the floor before taking off my shirt carefully.
"How did you get these?" Zecora asked while taking off my bandages to take a closer look at my wounds. Better be straighter with her, because I wanted to heal so that I could start training in chakra, but these fucking wounds were in the way.
"I fought a Manticore and visited Ponyville to get myself patched up," I said, almost purring when I felt her soft fur on my backside. Fucking ponies. Damn it.
"Ah, so you visited Rarity then," she said suddenly, which made me snap my head at her. How the hell did she know?, I thought, but then I noticed her looking at my stitches. Maybe she recognized it from the stitches.
"Meh... You surprised me, Ms. Z. Are you sure you are not a psychic or something?" I asked while looking at her cleaning my wounds with wet cloth.
"No, I recognized the stitching," she said, confirming my suspicions. "I have some cream to help your wounds heal and a potion to make your bones mend," she added, taking a jar of greenish colored goo, making me cringe and mutter few curses in Finnish.
"That's gonna hurt, isn't it?" I asked. She just smirked and shoved a hoof-full that stuff on top of my wound, making me curse very loudly in Finnish. I couldn't do it in English, because she might understand and I just couldn't bring myself to do so.
"Oh, don't be such a filly, Sam, I just started," she said, laughing and starting to cover my wounds with that stuff. Didn't she know it burned and sting like a bitch? Fucking ponies. Damn it.
"Are you sure this is even… Aaargh... the right stuff? Damn you, woman," I said, trying not to bite my lip, which made her chuckle more.
"I may have taken the flesh eating lotion. I'm not sure, they are so hard to recognize sometimes," Zecora said, thinking. I looked at her in horror. Suddenly, she just laughed at me and started to put that stuff on my back.
"I was just joking. I know my potions and lotions like my own hooves," she said, making me sigh in relief and chuckle some.
"You sure are an evil enchantress," I said, trying to relax, but I couldn't stop flinching. Suddenly, she stopped and started to wrap them in fresh bandages which she got from God knows where.
"Can you use magic? I need to know when I brew the potion," Zecora asked, making me think that should I tell her about my chakra discovery, but if I didn't tell she might accidentally blew me up with one of her potions.
"No, I can't use magic, but," I said, moving my right hand in front of me and making the same one handed seal to focus chakra. It didn't take long before I saw a faint blue glow around my hand,
"I can use chakra," I said, smiling and looking at Zecora, who was looking at me bewildered. Suddenly, she touched my hand with her hoof making me flinch. I didn't know how chakra would react with a magical pony or a Zebra.
"It's warm and calming, this chakra of yours. Now, I know what to brew for you," she said, starting to gather ingredients around the room while I released my chakra with a sigh and started thinking about what to do. The best idea would be to ask if I could stay with Zecora, help her around for rent while training my chakra and trying to become a real shinobi.
But, fuck, that was going to be hard, because I didn't know all the hand seals and what hand seals the jutsu's needed. Sure, I remember names and what they do, but I didn't know the fucking right hand seals to do them. Meh, I figure those out, at least I know how to do lots of chakra control exercises, so maybe I could be like Tsunade and play hit the mountain with a huge friggin tree with my bare hands.
Damn, that thought bought a smile on my face and small chuckle escaped my lips.
"What's so amusing?" Zecora asked suddenly, which made me turn to look at her, but I noticed that she wasn't at the pot anymore. Instead, she was looking at something under her bed, which made me ogle her rump. I could see everything she had to offer and I was sure that my little buddy agreed.
"Dat plot," I muttered before shoving a fist in my mouth to shut myself up. Zecora stood up suddenly, hitting her head on the underside of the bed with a loud thud. She pulled her head out from under the bed and looked at me.
"What did you say?" she asked while I removed my fist from my mouth to answer.
"Mmmh…your pot is boiling," I said, pointing to the boiling pot on the fire, which made her nod and walk to it, adding few more ingredients to it before starting to stir it.
Damn, that was close. What the hell is wrong with me? Oh yeah, I'm a dude. Damn it, why didn't I figure that out before?, I thought and suddenly I face palmed and groaned. This world is driving me insane,
"A bit for your thoughts," Zecora said suddenly, giving me another wooden bowl which held some kind of steaming pink liquid. I took it in my hands and looked at her.
"Zecora, can I stay here for a while? I don't have any other place to go and I need time to figure this out and what has happened to me, before I start mingling with the ponies and looking for answers. I don't have anything to pay you with, but I'll help you gather herbs and stuff. Anything to repay you if you let me stay," I asked while looking at the steaming liquid in the bowl before turning to look at Zecora, who was smiling.
"Why, of course you can stay here, I really could use another set of hooves to get some of the ingredients and help me brew some potions. Besides, you look like you can use that sword of yours, and this chakra of yours sounds interesting," she answered, grinning wildly, which made me sweat drop. I was sure that wasn't all the reasons why she was okay with me staying here.
But, I didn't have much of a choice did I? I didn't know shit about the fuckers roaming this forest, with the exception of a few, and that the series hadn't even started yet, so that was a good reason not to go to Ponyville yet.
"Thank you, Zecora," I said and drank the liquid from the bowl in one huge gulp, making me cough a little and getting her to laugh. When I turned to look at her I saw the whole room getting blurry.
"What the hell did you... gives...meh... yosh... betersh… shnut … rashp meh..." I managed to slur out before falling face first on the floor with loud crack and then my world went dark. Fuck.
Thanks for the LBTDiclonius for once again proof reading this for me